The Big Sick
by Emily V. Gordon & Kumail Nanjiani
Apatow Productions
I know! It’s summer! That’s robots punching robots time, not super tiny independent rom-com time! YET HERE WE ARE.
The Big Sick is a mostly autobiographical film about Kumail Najiani, a Pakistani-American standup comic and actor (Silicon Valley, Franklin and Bash), and how he met his wife, Emily Gordon. While they were dating, Emily got incredibly and mysteriously sick, and was put into a medically induced coma for several weeks. (She recovered! That’s why they can make a funny movie about it.) It’s written by Nanjiani and Gordon, and directed by Michale Showalter
In the movie, Nanjiani plays himself, and Zoe Kazan (Our Brand is Crisis, Olive Kitteridge) plays Emily. They meet at one of Kumail’s standup sets, and sideways-fall into dating. At the same time, Kumail’s Pakistani family (they came to the US when he was 18) are in the midst of setting Kumail up with an arranged marriage, and they don’t know about Emily. Every time he goes to his parents’ house for dinner, a young, single, Pakistani woman happens to drop by, and gives Kumail a headshot before they leave. Emily finds the stash of pictures, gets very angry that Kumail hasn’t been honest with anyone about their relationship, they break up, and then she ends up in the hospital with an infection. Kumail ends up dealing with his feelings for her, her parents (Holly Hunter and Ray Romano), his family, and his career.
Nanjiani’s comedy tends to run to extremely dry, fish-out-of-water, and I love it. A running theme of this is the paradox of being a child of immigrants. Kumail’s parents came to the US for a better life, but also expect Kumail to be a typical Pakistani and devout Muslim man. They get angry with him when he instead is living an American life. The theater I saw this in was PACKED, and there were a lot of younger people in the audience, and when he finally says, “Why did you come here for me, but expect me to live like we’re still there?” there was an audible rumble of recognition and agreement around the theater. It echoes a sentiment I’ve heard from friends who have immigrant parents.
(Side note: this is one of the reasons I love watching movies with an audience.)
Holly Hunter is a phenomenal actress, but I don’t know if I ever really realized that she is GREAT at comedy. Ray Romano has…gotten more tolerable as he’s gotten older and the memory of Everybody Loves Raymond has faded from my memory. They are great as these layered people who are terrified for their daughter, trying to come to terms with this guy who hurt their daughter terribly but who’s hanging around, and who are working through some relationship stuff on their own. I liked their performances a lot.
I also liked Kumail’s parents, played by Zenobia Shroff and Anupam Kher. They clearly love their children, and they are HILARIOUS, but they’re bound by their ideas of how adulthood should look, and when Kumail doesn’t want any of that, and instead announces that he’s in love with a white woman, they don’t react well. (In reality, they also did not react well to Emily, but apparently came around when Kumail and Emily got married.)
I saw Zoe Kazan in the play Love Love Love in New York City last fall. She’s VERY good, and is also a playwright and activist. I love her. She’s dry and witty and matches up with Najiani and his style. They’re very well-matched as actors, and I wish her the best career full of work she believes in (that also pays the rent).
The pacing does drag a bit in the middle. The movie goes through Kumail and Emily meeting (he hits on her by writing her name in Urdu, and she asks how often that works. Surprisingly well, actually), then getting serious, then breaking up, then she ends up in the hospital, then it’s kind of an episode of House without Hugh Laurie (it’s not lupus), then she gets better, then they reconcile. There’s a lot to get through, and I’m not sure how I would tweak the pacing.
And while I know this is primarily from Kumail’s point of view, we only get Emily’s experience through other people (Holly Hunter’s “You made my daughter sad and I will kill you where you stand” glower is something to behold). I’m not, as I’m writing this, sure if that’s a weakness, but I will say it’s a valid storytelling technique.
We do get a fabulous scene where one of the Pakistani women talks about her own experience with the setups-toward-potential-arranged-marriages, and she gives Kumail a solid kick to get his head out of his ass. (It’s a romcom. He spends some time with his head up his ass. It’s one of the conventions.)
That said, there’s been discussion about the portrayal of Muslim and Desi men in some recent shows and movies, and their relationships with white and Desi women. I feel completely unqualified to discuss the issue, but here is a good piece by Tanzila Ahmed that explains some of the issues, and another by Imran Siddiquee on Buzzfeed. Here’s another by Bina Shah talking about how Desi women rarely get a starring narrative in Western films.
I enjoyed this a lot, and it’s having a slow, rolling release schedule. It’s is currently scheduled for wide release on July 17th, and I recommend it to all romance fans who miss romantic comedies, and miss seeing emotional and hilarious happily ever afters on the big screen. It’s sweet and funny and touching. Go see it. You won’t regret it.
The Big Sick is in theaters now. Tickets are available (US) at Fandango and Moviefone.
I was trying to explain a romantic comedy to my five year old son and I said “She’s in love with him, but he doesn’t realize till the end of the movie that he’s also in love with her.”
Five year old “Why?”
Me (thinking about it for the first time) “Um, I guess he’s not very bright, but he’s a good person?”
Haha, I wish “has his head up his @ss” was appropriate for his age. It’s totally a convention. I only noticed it recently.
I still love romantic comedies though. I miss them and will add it to “To Be Watched” list.
I can’t wait to see this movie!!!
@Jill Q, I think my favorite romantic comedies are “He’s in love with her, but she doesn’t realize till the end of the movie that she’s also in love with him.” I am a sucker for pining heroes!
I don’t actually like a lot of Rom-Coms(in film), because I usually find one or both of the main characters to be complete assholes, but I’ve been looking forward to this one! The characters look fun and relatable and nice, and I love “culture clash to culture hugs” stories.
How well-rounded are the Desi women in the film? In the trailer, the only one besides his Mom who speaks is blurting, “The Truth is out there,” in a way that I can only cringe at embarrassment for her. Out of context, it seemed one step away from minstrelsy and I didn’t find it funny at all. Are the other Desi women portrayed as objects of ridicule or otherwise unattractive, and therefore not real competition for the White love interest?
They’re portrayed as representative of a life that Kumail just doesn’t want. There is one woman, (I think her name is Khadija) who, as I said, gets Kumail’s head out of his ass, and expresses her frustration with cultural expectations of her, and how Kumail is acting like he doesn’t have a choice in anything. I don’t think they’re necessarily portrayed as unattractive or even really ridiculed, but they aren’t major players in this story. (The “the truth is out there” moment is one of those things people do when trying to establish a connection with someone and it comes off as horribly awkward. “Look, I know things about things you like!”)
But there is a trend of Desi women getting ignored in the stories of Desi men, and it is a problem that is being discussed. As I said, I don’t feel remotely qualified to have that discussion, which is why I linked to a number of pieces by Desi writers.
. . . and that’s why Northanger Abbey is my favorite Jane Austen novel.
I’m really looking forward to seeing this film. The only drawback for me is that Zoe Kazan, the fabulously inventive writer and acting co-lead of “Ruby Sparks” (which would be a terrific pick for the SBTB movie), spends a good deal of the time comatose. She is one of too few true originals in film, and is always a joy to watch.
So many of the think pieces I’ve read about representation in this movie mention leading men of Indian descent but never reference Mindy Kaling as an example of a leading woman of Indian descent. It has me like ???
As a Desi woman, I really enjoyed this movie. It was sweet and funny and I loved that we saw a true romance develop, not just between the lovers, but between Kumail and Emily’s family as well.
As for the particular depiction of the Pakistani-American women in this film, I didn’t feel that they were belittled or meant for ridicule. While their characters had little to no development, the shallowness of their depiction was more along the lines of women who were required to meet the expectations of put upon them by South Asian culture; i.e., they were attractive, accomplished, respectful, and tried to please everyone, including their prospective beau and his family. Maybe I empathized too much and projected my own issues onto them, but I saw them as just as burdened by their family’s expectations as Kumail. Though, I’m not sure how much Kumail empathized with them.
I’ve read the essays mentioned, and I agree that there are some problematic aspects with the depiction of desi women in media, especially from the point of view of desi men. But the reverse criticism can, and has been, made about Mindy Kaling and her show, The Mindy Project. The criticism, while valid, doesn’t take away the fact that both are enjoyable.
Anyhow, see this movie! It’s not perfect, but it’s wonderful and probably the most well developed romantic comedy I’ve seen in years.
Also, Holly Hunter is a treasure! I just recently watched Broadcast News for the first time and have so many thoughts, especially about the “nice guy” trope. Someone should really consider it for an SBTB movie 😉
I LOVED this movie. I agree with you on the pacing, but overall I just really enjoyed the humor and the heart of it.
I enjoyed this movie, but felt it was a little low-energy for most of the movie, trying to be so much (rom-com, drama, look at Pakistani culture in America, parents being overbearing (his), parents dealing with their own tension (hers), career). When Kumail blows up at her parents, it felt very refreshing (though Holly Hunter was a great bundle of near-manic energy throughout).
I saw this movie on Saturday and I enjoyed it as the nice, sweet indie rom-com it was. I do wish the ending might have been tweaked a little (but maybe that’s how it actually went?), but otherwise it was just a nice midday diversion.
FUN FACT: The Pakistani woman who complains about her own experiences with arranged marriage is played by Vella Lovell, aka Heather on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend! She’s my favorite (so delightfully dry) so I spotted her immediately, and I’m excited to see her getting other roles.
is a romantic comedy with an Indian woman as the main character.
It’s been a long time since I saw it, but I thought it was very cute.
fudged it…
The Other End of the Line is a romantic comedy with an Indian woman as the main character.
It’s been a long time since I saw it, but I thought it was very cute.