141. Greetings from Romantic Times with Piper Huguley and All of Us from SBTB

[music]

Sarah Wendell:  Hello, and welcome to episode number 141 of the DBSA podcast.  I’m Sarah Wendell from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, and this week we have lots of people.  I am at Romantic Times in Dallas, and I am doing micro-interviews with a couple of people.  I start with Piper Huguley, who has many historical romances that you will all want to know about because they sound amazing, and then I sit down with the entire Bitchery crew.  All of the Bitches have assembled in Dallas, and we are all together talking about what we’ve been doing at RT and what we think of the conference so far.  They are all first-timers at RT, so their perspective should be very interesting.

This podcast is brought to you by InterMix, publisher of This Wedding Is Doomed!, a brand-new anthology about unexpected couples who find their happily-ever-after at a wedding that’s counting down to disaster.  Download it on May 19^th.

We’re going to talk about a whole bunch of stuff, and there’re several books, so make sure to check the podcast entry should you need to go shopping because, well, I’m here to enable your poor impulse control, ‘cause I don’t have any myself.

And now, on with the podcast.

[music]

Sarah:  Would you please introduce yourself?

Piper Huguley:  I’m Piper Huguley, and I’m a published author of historical romance.

Sarah:  Oh, please tell us more about these romances.  Do you have a new one?

Piper:  I’m having several coming out this year, thanks, Sarah.  [Laughs]

Sarah:  Ooh!  Congratulations!  Tell us about every single one!

Piper:  Oh, my gosh!

Sarah:  All of them, in order.

Piper:  I have –

Sarah:  Alphabetically.

Piper:  I have –

[Laughter]

Piper:  I have one that is, well, I have one series that follows the building of a college –

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Piper:  – over time, so the next volume in that will be out in June.  It’s called The Representative’s Revolt, and it’s what I call a married-people romance, where they’re already married, but some big tragic thing happened and they have to find their way to each other again.  And then I –

Sarah:  I love that term.  Married-people romance?

Piper:  I know, I, I started using it because some, I snatched it off of somebody.

Sarah:  It communicates exactly what it is!

Piper:  – what it is!  Yep.  And then I have my new series that’s coming out from Samhain that is based on the Great Migration.  It’s about five sisters who find their way from the South to the North, and of course each one of them finds love on their journey northward.  So –

Sarah:  And that takes place in what time period?

Piper:  That takes place starting, it’s, it’s what I call my twentieth century romances, and the first one, A Virtuous Ruby, which releases in July, starts in 1915.

Sarah:  Cool!

Piper:  And then the next one will be out in September, which takes place in 1919, and then the third one takes place in 1923, almost entirely in Pittsburgh, and that one –

Sarah:  Yes!

Piper:  Yes!

Sarah:  Yes!

Piper:  [Laughs] And that will take place –

Sarah:  Sorry.

Piper:  – in 1923.  So, and those are from Samhain.

Sarah:  Ooh, 1923 Pittsburgh.

Piper:  1923 Pittsburgh.

Sarah:  That’s cool!

Piper:  Yes.

Sarah:  So what are you learning about the city of Pittsburgh in that time period?

Piper:  Well, in that time period, given that my characters are African-American, I, I have focused mostly on the fact that they’ve built community with themselves –

Sarah:  Yep.

Piper:  – in the Hill District –

Sarah:  Yep.

Piper:  – so a lot of my research has been centered around that particular part of Pittsburgh and the community as it developed there, as people came northward –

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Piper:  – and Pittsburgh was a great big booming thing back then –

Sarah:  Oh, it sure was.

Piper:  – so, mm-hmm.

Sarah:  Still is, in a lot of ways.

Piper:  Still is, in a lot of ways, and a new way, exactly, but, yeah, the, this Great Migration focus that I’m taking with these five sisters is –

Sarah:  That’s awesome.

Piper:  – beginning of the twentieth century.

Sarah:  Was – forgive my inability to remember dates –

Piper:  Mm-hmm.

Sarah:  – but was Madame C. J. Walker in Pittsburgh at that time?

Piper:  She was not in Pittsburgh at that time.  She was actually earlier –

Sarah:  She was earlier.

Piper:  –  but this particular heroine is someone who has been through the Madame Walker program and does hair and stuff, so –

Sarah:  That’s so cool.

Piper:  Mm-hmm.

Sarah:  I didn’t realize that not everybody learned about her in school, ‘cause, you know, I –

Piper:  Oh, really?  [Laughs]

Sarah:  It was part of my curriculum in Pittsburgh.

Piper:  Yeah, yeah.

Sarah:  I learned about Madame C. J. Walker and all of these amazing people who did so many inventions for care of, of black hair and skin –

Piper:  Right.

Sarah:  – and, and an entire separate industry –

Piper:  Right.

Sarah:  – because no other, no other industry was doing anything.

Piper:  Right.

Sarah:  Fantastic!

Piper:  Right, but, yeah, yeah, so that’s – and, and she takes up with a numbers kingpin, so it’s –

Sarah:  Oh, sweet!

Piper:  – yeah, it’s a gangster, bad boy kind of thing.

Sarah:  Set in the Teens and the Twenties.

Piper:  Set, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Sarah:  Okay, so, so I can totally picture people listening going, give it to me now!  Give it to me now!  I want to read it!  So what else are you working on while you’re here?

Piper:  Well, while I’m here, in terms of me writing?  Working on –

Sarah:  Or what are you doing at RT?

Piper:  Oh, what am I doing at RT?  Oh, that’s a good question, yes.  I am doing a panel called “The Right to Write,” which is about writing diversely.

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Piper:  And I am doing my publisher’s promo thing for Samhain, so –

Sarah:  Cool!

Piper:  – and then I get to meet people and hang out and chill.

Sarah:  That’s so awesome!

Piper:  Yeah, yeah.

Sarah:  So what time is your panel, “The Right to Write”?

Piper:  “The Right to Write” is at 11:15.

Sarah:  Today.

Piper:  Yes.

Sarah:  Thursday.

Piper:  Thurs-, yes, that is right.

Sarah:  Who’s on the panel with you?

Piper:  Sonali Dev, my good friend and lucky sister, since we were nominated for the Golden Heart together two years ago.

Sarah:  That’s so cool!

Piper:  Yes!

Sarah:  Congratulations!

Piper:  Yes, I know.  Thank you!  And, you know, she’s all big time now, so – [laughs]

Sarah:  I loved her book –

Piper:  Yeah.

Sarah:  – so much.

Piper:  She’s all, so, like, she, she let me be on the panel, but I’m also kind of pinch-hitting for Beverly Jenkins, who called me last year and asked me –

Sarah:  Ooh!

Piper:  – to do it, so it was kind of like –

Sarah:  So when you get a phone call from Beverly Jenkins asking you to do something, you just kind of say, yes, whatever it is, absolutely, ma’am –

Piper:  Right, exactly, yeah.

Sarah:  – no questions, ‘cause I would.

Piper:  It was like, I was not planning on coming to RT this year, but when she said that, I was like, okay, I’ll go.

Sarah:  Awesome.

Piper:  And it just so happened to work out that I did get a publisher, and it just so happened that the publisher’s thing happened on the same day, so –

Sarah:  Fabulous!

Piper:  Yeah!  It all worked together.

Sarah:  So it was clearly a sign y’all needed, you need to be here.

Piper:  Clearly a sign, exactly, exactly.

Sarah:  That’s amazing.

Piper:  Exactly.

Sarah:  So, one last question –

Piper:  Yes.

Sarah:  Have you read any books lately that you would love to tell people about?

Piper:  I lately have, as I continue to, to read other certain things, I’ve started reading some Jo Beverly, and I liked it.

Sarah:  She’s amazing; she’s wonderful.

Piper:  I know!  I haven’t read it before, so I mean, everybody listening to you probably is like, what’s wrong with her?  She writes historical romance, but – I never read any of hers before, and so on –

Sarah:  Oh, there’re so many authors I haven’t discovered.  No shame.

Piper:  [Laughs] So, yeah, I’m reading it and enjoying it.  Medieval stuff, so.

Sarah:  Are you working on another book in the series, or are they all written in your, in your series?

Piper:  All the ones in my Samhain series are written –

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Piper:  – so my Milford College series, as I call it my self-pub series, I’m working on those titles, and June 1^st, I have collaborated with a group of three other African-American historical romance writers to write The Brightest Day, which is an anthology of historical romance novellas that commemorates the 150^th anniversary of the end of slavery.

Sarah:  Dude!  Rad!  Awesome!

Piper:  [Laughs] Yes!

Sarah:  Cool!  This is so great!  Thank you so much for doing a micro-interview.

Piper:  Thank you!

[music]

Sarah:  We’re going to go around, and I want you to introduce yourselves so that people will recognize your voice with your name, ‘cause I know all your voices, but eventually we’ll all start to sound very similar.  So I’m, I’m already introduced ‘cause I do the intro, so we’ll start with you.

Elyse:  I’m Elyse, and you can tell because of my Midwestern accent, you know.

Sarah:  Oh, yeah?

Elyse:  Yeah.

Sarah:  Oh, yeah.

[Laughter]

RedHeadedGirl:  I’m RedHeadedGirl, and you can tell ‘cause this is my voice – I don’t know!

[Laughter]

Carrie S.:  I’m Carrie S., and you can tell ‘cause I have a really high voice.

Amanda:  I’m Amanda.  I don’t know how you can tell, but I’m usually the one saying something dirty.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  What is the thing that you have most enjoyed so far at RT?

RHG:  [Laughs] Start with me.  Okay.

Carrie:  It’s tough.  Are we going in order or just jump in?

Sarah:  No, I’m just going to –

Carrie:  Dinner!

Sarah:  Dinner?

Carrie:  Dinner.

RHG:  Yeah, dinner was delightful.

Carrie:  I really only have on agenda item for RT, and it’s to hang out with the Bitches, so I’m just like, that’s just so fun.

Amanda:  Yeah, I –

Carrie:  Yes.

Amanda:  Dinner last night was amazing.

Carrie:  That was such a blast.

Amanda:  And that’s not even, like, an RT agenda thing.  That’s just, like, us eating Mexican food –

Carrie:  I know.

Amanda and RHG:  – drinking –

Amanda:  – and just, like, bullshitting for, like, two hours.

Carrie:  But, like, you know, like Elyse and I, we’re, like, stranded in other parts of the country, so, like, when else will we get to do that with you guys?  It’s, that was really awesome and way fun.

Somebody:  Mm-hmm.

Sarah:  I think the amazing ‘80s radio station really helped.

[Laughter]

Carrie:  It really helped, yes, yes.

RHG:  Okay.

Sarah:  There was Tiffany, and then there was Duran Duran.

Carrie:  Yes.

RHG:  And then there was Amanda lip-synching epically, and please consider putting this video in the podcast entry.

Amanda singing:  Jessie’s gi-i-irl.

Sarah:  I might have to do that.

Somebody:  Oh, my God.

[Laughter]

Amanda:  Fine.  I have no shame.  None at all.

RHG:  Lip-synching to “Jessie’s Girl,” and it –

Sarah:  With dance movements.

RHG and Carrie:  With dance movements!

RHG:  Like –

Carrie:  It’s really, that’s what made it was the dance.

RHG:  I want to see her go up against the Rock on Lip Sync Battle.

Amanda:  I could take him.

RHG:  Yeah, you could!

Amanda:  Maybe not physically, but –

RHG:  No, you just bite his ankles.

[Laughter]

Amanda:  I mean, I’m up to trying.

RHG:  Nom nom

[Laughter]

Sarah:  So aside from eating and margaritas, which generally speaking, meals and booze are part of the RT experience, to be honest, I know you guys all went to the mechanical bull –

Bitches:  Yes.

Sarah:  – and I was, I was a total doofus, and I was like, oh, I’m tired, I should go to bed, and I missed out on mechanical bull action.

Bitches:  Yeah, you did.

Elyse:  Well, Carrie and I didn’t ride the bull because I felt like, I thought about it, and I was like, somewhere in Wisconsin my rheumatologist started sweating, and he doesn’t know why, right?  Like –

[Laughter]

Elyse:  I felt like this was not conducive to my inflammatory processes, so we just did the photo with the bull?  But there was a kid there, I don’t know, what do you think, he was, like, somewhere between ten and thirteen maybe?

Carrie:  Oh, no, older.

Elyse:  You think?

Carrie:  Yeah, like, like, well, but more towards his, like, like, maybe fourteen.  Thirteen, fourteen.

Elyse:  And he, like, kicked ass.  He went up there several times.  Like, he –

Amanda:  He was great.

Elyse:  – he was amazing.  Maybe like, I don’t know if maybe, like, his bones hadn’t fully formed yet and that was why?

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Little kids are made of rubber!  That makes you a better bull rider!

Amanda:  It wasn’t an easy setting, either.

Elyse:  No!

RHG:  Yeah, no, it was kicking around.

Amanda:  It was, like, intermediate or whatever, and he stayed on the thing.

Somebody:  Yeah.

Elyse:  And then all the bad-ass cover models went up and got thrown off, like, immediately.

[Laughter]

Amanda:  Well, one, like, cut in front of me, and I’m like –

Somebody:  Oh, yeah.

Amanda:  – I hope you eat shit on this.

RHG:  Yeah, and he did.

Amanda:  And he did, and I was like, that’s what you get.  And I stayed on the entire time, so –

Sarah:  [Laughs]

Carrie:  For me, like –

RHG:  I did not.

Carrie:  – the weird, the weirdest thing about RT for me, coming from a science fiction convention background, is that there’re no dudes except the cover models –

Sarah:  Yep.

Carrie:  – and so when he cut in front, I’m like, really?  Even at RT the dudes get to cut in front?  Like, sci-fi women, we would, like, take him down.

Elyse:  I don’t, I –

Carrie:  We would be like, no!  [Laughs]

Elyse:  With the exception of my friend from the YA slumber party, I think all of the cover models have been really, really nice.  Like, they are very aware that they are a minority here –

Amanda?:  Mm-hmm, yeah.

Elyse:  – and they’ve been incredibly polite and –

Sarah:  And they’re very conspicuous.

Elyse:  They’re very conspicuous –

Sarah:  Like, you know that they were cover models.

Elyse:  Well, and I think, too, I mean, this is, for them, they’re marketing themselves, right?

Somebody:  Yeah.

Elyse:  So there’s not, there’s not a lot of, it doesn’t make sense to be a douchebag.

Carrie?:  Right.

Elyse:  So we should go find that guy and tell him, like, this isn’t cool.

Carrie:  I don’t think it was him, though, ‘cause he had, like, this –

Amanda:  A posse.

Carrie:  – woman who was, like, his handler or something?

Elyse:  Yes.

Carrie:  And I think the reason they went in front wasn’t actually to be douche-y.  I think it was, like, he was, like, the entertainment.  Like, it was fun to see him, like, fall off or something.

RHG:  Yeah.

Carrie:  Wait, so, you know, but it was fun, it was, but I could not help but giggle at it, even though I don’t really think they had, like, nefarious, douche-y intent.

Elyse:  No, no, no, I was talking about the YA guy who was fairly douche-y.

Carrie:  Oh, your YA guy.

Elyse:  Yeah.

Carrie:  Yeah, no, your YA guy is, yeah.

Elyse:  Yeah.

Amanda:  For the readers –

RHG:  For the, for the listeners –

Elyse:  I’m sorry.

Amanda:  Listeners, sorry –

Elyse:   For the listeners –

Amanda:  – listeners.

Elyse:  – I went to the YA slumber party, even though I don’t read a lot of YA, because everyone else was tired and I wasn’t, and –

Sarah:  ‘Cause we’re in your time zone.

Elyse:  Right.

Carrie:  Right.

Sarah:  All the rest of us are interlopers in Central time, and you’re like, this is fine, and I’m like, I’m tired, baby sleepy now –

Carrie:  Oh, my God.

Sarah:  – and then Carrie’s, like, two hours early.

Elyse:  So we, it was a table full of, of women, like ten of us, and this cover model came in, and he was very orange, and he was talking in, I think he was trying to be Australian, but it was like Australian, English, Irish slipped in there periodically in this fake accent, and then he kept talking about, like, how he didn’t know how to handle being in a room with all these women, and I think he said, like, I don’t if I need an oxygen tank or a Viagra, and I’m thinking, like, if you need either one of those, like, we’re not going to help you out.

[Laughter]

Elyse:  And then he was asking which one of us was the token lesbian, ‘cause there were, like, eleven of us?  So statistically it was one of us.  Which was, that’s always charming.  And the kind of, I think the YA coordinators were not super down with his shenanigans, ‘cause he was being disruptive and also, I think, like, possibly blackout drunk, so they were kind of, kind of, like, hustling him out of there, and his parting words to our table were, dem’s all my bitches.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Oh, honey.

Elyse:  I know.

Carrie:  Honey, stop.

Elyse:  I know.  I, he, like, he was looking for love in all the wrong places –

Sarah:  [Laughs]

Elyse:  – and I don’t know if he thought that was networking or if he legitimately did not have somewhere to go.  Like, I felt like I needed to give him ten bucks for a sandwich and a coffee, right?  Like, I was worried –

Amanda:  Use a blazer and, like, put it over him, and I was like –

[Laughter]

Elyse:  Right?

Amanda:  – you know, curls up on the floor.

RHG:  Right.  And a blankie and a cookie, yes.

Sarah:  Although I have to say, if you’re going to get completely shitfaced drunk, this is probably one of the safest, most caring places –

Elyse:  Oh, yes.

Sarah:  – because everyone will be like, I’ve been there.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Like, my favorite RT story that I told you was in Los Angeles.  We saw this guy leading this woman who could barely walk a straight line, her eyes weren’t even open, and she wasn’t wearing shoes, and this guy was walking her towards the elevator, and the two women who were with RT behind me grabbed security and a waiter and said, don’t let him get to the elevator with her.  We don’t know if they’re actually together, but she’s not aware of what she’s doing.  Like –

Bitches:  Yeah.

Sarah:  – if you’re going to get drunk here, there’s going to be a lot of people who are going to be like, oh, honey, I’ve been there.

[Laughs]

Elyse:  I think I, the conferences I’m used to going to are for work, and I’m almost always –

Sarah:  You mean, like, shipping people?

Elyse:  Like shipping people.  I am almost always, I’m, I, I would say there are maybe ten percent women –

Sarah:  Yep.

Elyse:  – right, compared to dudes, and, like, you are very aware when, when you’re at the bars or whatever.  Like, you don’t leave your drink unattended –

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Somebody:  Right.

Elyse:  – you pay very close attention.  You know, if I’m alone, I tell my husband, like, this is when I’m going to be at the room, and I’m going to text you when I’m at the room –

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Elyse:  – and if you don’t hear from me, I want you to, like –

RHG:  Do something.  [Laughs]

Elyse:  – start texting my coworkers, and this is, like, I feel like I could lie down in the lobby in my underpants, and I would probably be fine.

Sarah:  Oh, yeah, somebody would cover you with a blanket –

Elyse:  Right, and –

Sarah:  – and somebody else would – I mean, you might have your picture tweeted with some fun captions –

Elyse:  Right.  [Laughs]

Carrie:  That would be my guess.

Sarah:  – but no one would let any harm come to you.

Elyse:  Yes.

Sarah:  It, it’s a really safe and welcoming sort of environment here.

Elyse:  And that’s the other cool thing, ‘cause I don’t people well at all, and I can just walk up to people, and you have the instant –

Sarah:  Oh, yeah.

Bitches:  Yeah.

Elyse:  – let’s talk about books, and now it’s not awkward.

Sarah:  Right.  And if you’re, if you’re here, you’ve taken time off work and time away from your family to spend five days on a vacation about books.  So everyone has done that exact same thing.  You all know why people are here.

Amanda:  And I’ve been tossing compliments out like it’s an episode of Oprah’s favorite things.

[Laughter]

Amanda:  Like, this person’s hair is great, and those shoes are awesome, and your dress looks so good, and I like your beard!  Like, it’s just –

[Laughter]

RHG:  Oh, my God.  Amanda hit on one of the cover models last night.

Amanda:  I didn’t hit on him!

RHG:  You did a little bit.

Carrie:  A little bit.

RHG:  A little bit.

Carrie:  A little bit.

Amanda:  I complimented his, you know –

RHG:  His beard –

Amanda:  – his beard.

RHG:  – and then you touched his beard.

Amanda:  He let me!  I didn’t ask, he offered.

RHG:  Right.

Carrie:  Yeah.

Sarah:  Suuure.

RHG:  And then after, while we were waiting in line –

Sarah:  You guys were just the two of you in the room last night, right?

RHG:  Yeah.

Sarah:  Okay, just checking.

Amanda:  Well, RedHeadedGirl sleeps pretty heavy.

[Laughter]

RHG:  That’s true.  Except when I don’t.

Amanda:  It was just –

RHG:  But you sleep pretty heavy, except when you don’t.

Amanda:  I do.  I sleep really heavy.

[Laughter]

RHG:  Like, I could sneak out and write a novel.  You wouldn’t know.

Amanda:  Yeah.  Well, you did.

RHG:  I did.  I did do that.

[Laughter]

RHG:  Anyway, so after Amanda and Carrie left and Elyse and I were waiting in line for the new Anna Campbell book which I got last night –

Sarah:  Oh, are you excited?

RHG:  I’m super excited.

Sarah:  Was it an ARC or a finished copy?

RHG:  It’s an ARC.

Sarah and Carrie:  Oooh!

RHG:  I know.  I know.

Sarah:  Is she here?  I didn’t think she was coming from Australia.  I didn’t think she was here.

RHG:  I –

Amanda:  I don’t think she’s here.

Sarah:  No, I was going to say.

RHG:  I don’t think she’s here, but they, they were giving out the ARCs at 11:30, so we had to wait in line for them to start whatever.  Anyway, so, bearded cover model guy, Charley?

Amanda:  Charles.

RHG:  Charles.

Amanda:  Charles.

RHG:  Charles.

Amanda:  Yes –

Sarah:  I can’t even communicate to you the, the supercilious expression on Amanda’s face right now.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Get beard guy’s name right, damn it!

RHG:  Charles –

Carrie:  Charles, are you listening?

RHG:  – was chatting with people in front of us and, and a woman said, so, are you going to ride the bull?  And he’s like, no, I, you know, no.  And he’s trying to come up with an excuse, and he’s like, I just ate.  And I’m like, yeah, he can’t ride a bull for an hour.

[Laughter]

RHG:  I mean, he’s like, yes!  Exactly!

[Laughter]

Elyse:  I just want to say, too, that Tessa Dare and Sophie Jordan are incredibly sweet –

RHG:  Mm-hmm.

Elyse:  – and let me fangirl all over them like a total freak and, like, didn’t –

Sarah:  Where was this?

Elyse:  So we went to an “Everything Old Is New Again” panel, and it was –

RHG:  Yes.

Elyse:  – they were there.

RHG:  Erin Knightley.

Elyse:  Deeanne Gist?

RHG:  Gist, who I’d never heard of before?  And –

Sarah:  She’s amazing.

RHG:  – and I, like, need to read every single thing she wrote ever.

Sarah:  I want to say last year, ‘cause I have no concept of time, she wrote a book that takes place at a World’s Fair –

RHG:  Yep.

Elyse:  Yes.

Sarah:  – and the cover quote was – ‘cause, you know, cover quotes are sort of worth the amount of letters they are?

RHG:  Mm-hmm.

Carrie:  Yeah.

Sarah:  They’re, they’re, they’re so weirdly political in some strange ways.  The cover quote was from Deanna Raybourn, and it was something about how it made her laugh so hard she cried her mascara off.  And I was like, best quote ever!

RHG:  Yep.  Right, anyway –

Sarah:  Do you remember the name of it?  I’m going to have to figure out the name of it.

Elyse:  She wrote –

RHG:  It Happened at the Fair.  She has three books that –

Sarah:  Nice!

RHG:  – take place at the Chicago World’s Fair.

Somebody:  Yo.

RHG:  One just came out last week called Tiffany Girl, which both Elyse and I were like, we need to read this book immediately!

Elyse?:  Oh, yeah.

Sarah:  Give it to me now, give it to me now!

Elyse:  It’s about the Tiffany, the jeweler’s son, who did the stained glass, and he was going to do, what was it, like a chapel?

RHG:  A mo-, a mosaic chapel at the World’s Fair, and his glass people, his glass dudes went on strike, and he’s like, fuck you, I don’t have time to negotiate, and hired women from an art school.

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

RHG:  Because they couldn’t be in the union –

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

RHG:  – and so she was telling us, this is the story of one of those women.

Sarah:  Deeanne Gist is so cool.  She does a whole thing with historical dress?

RHG:  Mm-hmm.

Sarah:  – where she starts with the underwear and then keeps going and keeps going, and then she ends up in this huge hoopskirt, I think it is?

RHG:  Mm-hmm, yeah.

Sarah:  It’s a, it’s a, it’s like hula hoops held together with tulle underneath –

Bitches:  Yeah.

Sarah:  – and then the skirts is this beautiful bell.

RHG:  Yep.

Elyse:  And then there was another author there named Ashlyn Macnamara who, all of her books, they’re Regencies, they’ve got a dude, like, you see him from behind –

RHG:  Yep.

Elyse:  – and he’s –

RHG:  With delightful butts.

Elyse:  Right, and she was saying, he’s always, like, his pants are a little low slung, or on one he’s got a towel, and she was saying, like, there’s a specific amount of ass crackage that they have to make sure they’re not showing for Amazon to run it –

Sarah:  It’s true.

Elyse:  – so, like, someone’s job somewhere is to figure out –

RHG:  It’s –

Elyse:  – cove model ass crack proportions.

Sarah:  It’s true.  I had a, I had a –

RHG:  And people are still reporting her covers for obscenity.

Elyse:  And then she was like –

Sarah:  ‘Cause it’s the shadow of ass crack?

Elyse:  Right.

RHG:  It’s a, yeah, she’s like –

Sarah:  That would be a great book title.

RHG:  – it’s not even ass crack, it’s shadow.  [Laughs]

Sarah:  Yeah.

Elyse:  So then she was like, oh, are you from Smart Bitches?  Are you the knitting pattern girl?  I love your knitting patterns.  And I took out my phone, and I’m like, I’m buying every book you ever wrote.  Look at that, I’ve got your whole back list now.

[Laughter]

RHG:  Yeah, it was a super expensive panel.

Elyse:  It really was.  It was, like –

Amanda?:  It was.

Elyse:  – I think I figured out I spent $64 on that panel.

[Laughter]

Elyse:  Valerie Bowman was there.

RHG:  Yep.  Yep.

Elyse:  I’m trying to think of who else, but it was, it was –

RHG:  Shana Galen was there.

Elyse:  Shana Galen was there.  It was very interesting, and they talked about taking modern day tropes and making them applicable to historical books.

RHG:  Right.

Sarah:  Nice!

RHG:  And then they played a game where they handed us – we got into teams, and they handed us four cards of a, a hero type, a heroine, a trope, and a key word, and we had to come up with a pitch.

Sarah:  Ooh!  That’s hard.

RHG:  And we had a courtesan and a bad boy and enemies-to-lovers and –

Elyse:  Midnight.

RHG:  – midnight.

Elyse:  And we were the only team that asked if we were allowed to swear during our pitch.  Like, that was our first and most relevant question.

RHG:  That was my first, yeah, this is a very important question.

[Laughter]

Carrie:  Okay, yes.

RHG:  And Erin Knightley’s like, yes?

Sarah:  I almost just choked.

Carrie:  And, and for, for our listeners at home, I want you all to know that Sarah just spit her water, like, all over the place.

Sarah:  I didn’t, I managed not to, but it was close –

Carrie:  It was close.

Sarah:  – and my sinuses have been irrigated as of right now.

[Laughter]

RHG:  Excellent.  Excellent, good.  Good.  No sinus infections for you.

Sarah:  Yes.

Elyse:  Also, the Harlequin party after the blog, blogger symposium was amazing, because I got to meet Heather Graham and –

Sarah:  Isn’t she cool?

Elyse:  Well, my, some of my first romances were the One Wore Blue, And One Wore Gray, and And One Rode West, which if you read them now?  Very problematic, ‘cause of, you know, slavery, but those were like, I mean, that was kind of what got me into –

Somebody:  Mm-hmm.

Elyse:  – historical romance, and I met her, and I didn’t pee my pants like I thought I was going to.

RHG:  Right!

[Laughter]

Sarah:  There was a, there was a person at the blogger con who, for whom Heather Graham was the first book she read in romance genre, and so I said –

Somebody:  Yeah.

Sarah:  – that Heather Graham was going to be there, and she went, [gasp!] oh, my God!

RHG:  Elyse, we walked into the party, and Elyse was like, I’m shaking like a Chihuahua, and I’m either just going to shake or pee –

Sarah:  Or both.

RHG:  – and I don’t know which to do, and I’m like, we’re going to the bar first!

[Laughter]

RHG:  Have a glass of wine.  Now let’s go.

Sarah:  Yep.  What about you, Carrie?  What panels have you enjoyed?

Carrie:  Oh, my gosh.  So, well, I, I have had this, like, kind of weird conference where I kept ending up in the latter half of panels, so I –

Sarah:  Totally normal.

Carrie:  – I really enjoyed Sarah’s on –

Sarah:  Thank you.

Carrie:  – book clubs for libraries, and I also really enjoyed “Everything Old Is New Again,” and I was totally shameless and I was sitting by Elyse and RedHeadedGirl, and even though I showed up after they had finished making their story, I still snagged a free book, as though I had helped in any way.

Elyse:  You were with us in spirit.

RHG:  You were.

Carrie:  I was.  I like to think that I was, I was assisting you, like, telepathically –

RHG:  Yes.

Carrie:  – from afar.  I really liked the blogger con, and I think for me, like, what – and I had a really interesting meeting and stuff, and I feel like for me, this is going to be a really good conference in terms of helping me think about what I’m going to focus on in the next year or two.  So –

Sarah:  As a blogger and a writer?

Carrie:  As a blogger and a writer, yeah.  So, so, it’s, yeah, like, there’s just a lot for me to kind of think about, and I think in a way I’m approaching it a little bit differently because I am really excited about meeting authors and getting free books and all that, but I’m also kind of like, okay, what’s my next step?  So everything I go to is sort of focused towards that.  And there’s a lot of that going on today and tomorrow, so those’ll be good days.

Sarah:  Yeah.  What about you, Amanda?  What have you enjoyed that you’ve done here?  As opposed to eating and riding a bull and petting a beard?

Amanda:  That’s, well, those are all good things.

Sarah:  Yes, they are!

Amanda:  Especially when they happen in kind of succession of one another.  I went to the paranormal, like, genre panel yesterday?  Because Kresley Cole was there, and I just wanted to be in her presence for a minute.

Sarah:  Did you meet her afterward?

Amanda:  I didn’t meet her, because I’ll just do that at, like, the thing, and I –

Sarah:  The book signing?

Amanda:  – I don’t like waiting around like I’m – I hate it.

Sarah:  There’s always a crowd that rushes the table at the end.

Somebody:  Right.

Amanda:  I know, and that’s not me, and then I’m just, like, standing there waiting.  But Ilona Andrews was, like, running it with her husband.  She and her husband are the most adorable couple I have ever seen in my life.  If you have –

Sarah:  And they’re hilarious.

Amanda:  If you ever have seen them, or in the future, like, see them on a panel, do it, because they’re, they’re just great, and she’s so sweet.  And then Rachel Bach was there, and I just bought her book, Fortune’s Pawn, which is like a, a sci-fi romance trilogy?

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Amanda:  And her book has been described, she said, like Kate Daniels, but with, like, powered armor.

Sarah:  Oh, snap.

Amanda:  Yeah.  So that was really exciting, and strange timing, ‘cause I literally bought the book, like, a week before RT.  And then I just had, like, my Goodreads app on my phone open the entire thing –

[Laughter]

Amanda:  – so, like, as they’re mentioning books, I’m like, all right, add it to my shelf, okay.  Google that one – yep, add that one to my shelf, so –

Somebody:  Yeah.

Amanda:  I know, like, I felt the people next to me thought I was being disrespectful by having my phone out, but it was like, I’ve got to know the names of these books –

Somebody:  Right, yeah.

Amanda:  – I’m going to go, like, they’re just going to go right out of my head as soon as I leave this room.  Like, Chloe Neill was there, and I have the Chicagoland Vampires series because my mom owned them, and she just, like, gave them to me, but I haven’t read them.

Sarah:  Your mom’s cool!

Amanda:  Well, I told you, my mom, like, I cut my teeth on, like, romance with the Anita Blake series because of my mom.

Sarah:  Oh, that’ll start you off right.

Somebody:  Yeah.

Amanda:  So, but now, like, those books, which I still have, have moved to the top of the pile when I get home –

Sarah:  Yep.

Amanda:  – so I’m very excited.

Sarah:  So –

Carrie:  Okay, I had one more panel, really quick.

Sarah:  Of course.

Carrie:  So, I also went to the, the Mad Hatter Fantasy Tea Party –

Sarah:  Oh!

Carrie:  – and it was so great, because I was sitting next to this woman who had this, like, incredible Victorian-style dress that had, it was black fabric with rainbow unicorns and rainbow cupcakes with little skulls on them.  It was the most amazing fabric I have ever seen in my entire life.

Sarah:  I know that dress.

Carrie:  Oh, my God.

Sarah:  Oh, I can’t remember the site.

Carrie:  And then, sitting, she was there with her friend, who was telling me this story about how she adopted her cat, and then one of the authors was saying that she goes to San Diego Comic Con and cosplays, and I was like, oh, oh!  My God, my people are here!  I was like, it was like this –

Sarah:  Oh, your people are so here!

Carrie:  It was like, all of a sudden it was like, oh, there they are!  It was great.  So, yeah, I had a really good time at that party.  They just spoiled us rotten at that thing.

Sarah:  Well, one of the things that authors come here to do is to connect with readers as much as possible, and so you, you, like, you’ll, it’s normal to bring cases of books and swag and gifts, like – this morning I recorded an interview with Piper Huguley, and then right afterward, I wandered out, and I, I’ve started taking pictures of the, the hair color and plumage of RT, because the hair color is amazing.  There’s this one woman, also named Sarah, whose hair is green at the roots, blue in the middle, and purple at the ends –

Carrie:  Ohh!

Sarah:  – and then she had a big blue flower in her hair, and it’s like, it’s not just, you know, sort of blue.  I mean, it is blue.  Like, it is parrots-in-the-jungle plumage style, I’m-looking-for-a-hot-mate blue, purple, and green.  Like, you could see it for miles, and I, like, stopped in my tracks and went, can I be really creepy and tweet a picture of your hair?  She’s like, sure!  So I ended up stumbling into a, an author fan group meeting for Darynda Jones.

Carrie:  Oh, cool!

Sarah:  She had invited all of her fans to meet her at the sofas at that hour, had gifts for all of them, little coffee cups, that had sayings on them, and everyone got a copy of the hardcover of the new book, and, like, I had just, I just figured it was people hanging out and caffeinating, but no, it was, like, an informal meeting.  They were so excited, and it was, you know, 9:30 in the morning.

Carrie:  Yep.

Sarah:  It’s amazing how excited people get.  It, it’s, it’s, it never gets old for me.  I think this is my fourth or fifth RT?  It never gets old for me to see readers really excited to meet an author, because I totally lose my shit if I meet – like, Catherine Coulter walked by me at a book signing, and I was like, okay, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out – slow down – breathe in – and she’s just walking!  I didn’t even talk to her and I was losing my crap.

Elyse:  Yeah, I think that’s amazing.  I met Paige Tyler yesterday, and I think in my head I still, like, imagine authors as celebrities a little bit, so I, when I was talking to her, I fully expected her to be like, oh, that’s nice, thank you, now move along, and like –

Sarah:  No, no!

Elyse:  – she, like, pulled me aside, and we had this whole conversation, and I felt like, I don’t know, there could have been hugging –

[Laughter]

Elyse:   – if I had, if I had initiated it, and she was just, like, super, super cool and super excited to talk to me, and I’m like, why are you excited to talk to me, ‘cause I’m not interesting.

Sarah:  [Laughs] Well, the thing is, ro-, most romance authors are romance readers –

Elyse:  Yes.

Sarah:  – so we are all each others’ people, so even if you haven’t, you’ve met someone who hasn’t read your books, you’re still going to have books to talk about, and in most cases, the response to are you an author?  What have you written?  Can I – what’s the name of it?  They want, people want to know, because they would like you to tell them the title so that they can immediately add it to their Goodreads shelf –

RHG:  Right.

Sarah:  – and buy the hell out of it.  So if you, if you’re going to the book signing on Saturday, who are some people that you are really looking forward to meeting?

Amanda:  I have a list.

RHG:  Well –

Sarah:  You have a list!

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Amanda whips out her phone.

RHG:  Right.

Amanda:  I have a list.

RHG:  I, I have a number of friends who are like, I really need stuff.  Can you maybe please, if you could get Tessa Dare’s autograph?  So I’ve already got one out of, like, three or four people.

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

RHG:  And I’m, when I met her yesterday at the historical research panel, and she’s like, oh, you’re RedHeadedGirl!  Is this for the friend who tweeted at me?  And I’m like, no –

Sarah:  That’s later.

RHG:  – that’s a whole, that’s a whole other book.  This is somebody else who –

[Laughter]

RHG:  – who – I did not tell her that I had, like, texted my best friend and was like, I’m sitting five feet away from Tessa Dare!  And Cat texted back, [squeak].

[Laughter]

Elyse:  I’m not going to the book signing, so my plan for the next two days is author stalking, which involves following them on Twitter and then figuring out where they are in the hotel, and I feel like I could maybe do, like, a whole, we could do, like, a game out of this.  Like, I could get really good at this.

Sarah:  What, author scavenger hunt?

Elyse:  Yes.  Like, I saw – and I missed her, I’m so mad – like, Viola Carr texted, or tweeted the other night, like, oh, it’s 9:30, and look at me in Starbucks working on my book, and I was like, on it!

[Laughter]

Elyse:  Here I come!  Surprise!

Sarah:  It’s a good think you’re not creepy.

Elyse:  Not at all.  I’m very safe; don’t worry.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  All right, who’s on the list, ma’am.

Amanda:  List –

Sarah:  List?

Amanda:  – with the row and where you’re at, and –

Sarah:  Oh, you guys, seriously.

Amanda:  Yeah.

RHG:  Wow.

Sarah:  Oh, Scott Westerfeld!  I met, I saw him yesterday!

Amanda:  Yeah!  Well, I was going to go the Boston Book Fair and have my copy of Afterworlds signed, and it’s a huge book.  This book, you could kill a person with this book.

RHG:  You can kill a person with any book.

Amanda:  Well, this would just make it easier.

Sarah:  Wait, is that a podcast topic we need to explore?  Ways to murder people with books?

RHG:  No.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  All right.

Amanda:  I dragged this book to the festival, and like, the person’s like, oh, yeah, he’s not signing any books.  I was like, okay!  So, but, now that he’s here, and he’s trapped at a table signing books –

Sarah:  Yeah.

Amanda:  – it’s like, okay.  So he’s on it.  Tessa Bailey, who I just read her contemporary; I think it was Chase Me, and then Need Me just came out.  It’s amazing, and I love it, and so obviously she’s going to sign my stuff, and Victoria Dahl, Julie James, Tiffany Reisz, and then my top two are Kresley Cole and Jaci Burton, so.

Sarah:  I totally ran into Jaci and her husband, and I was like, I, where’s Amanda?

Amanda:  Who knows?

Sarah:  I know she really wants to meet you, and Ja-, Jaci’s like, I’m around and usually at the bar.

Amanda:  Well, if you see her, I –

Sarah:  And you are within sight.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Sarah:  Or I will, I will just –

Amanda:  Or you can text me.

Sarah:  I will summon you.  Listen, I’m –

Amanda:  I will drop whatever I’m doing.

Sarah:  – I’m sitting on Jaci Burton in the lobby.  She’s trying to leave –

Somebody:  [Laughs] Hurry!

Sarah:  – and I’m holding her down!

Amanda:  Be right there!

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Her husband is very alarmed, but he hasn’t made a move yet.  You should hurry.  [Laughs] What about you, Carrie?  Is there anyone at the book signing you’re totally excited to see?

Carrie:  So, okay, so, I’m kind of doing a, a slightly less predatory version of Elyse’s stalking thing, so I have some books strategically in my bag, just in case I just, like, trip over Eloisa James in the elevator and I can say hey!  But yeah, I’ve got her, and is an, I have a Jenn Bennett book I’m hoping Jenn Bennett will sign.

Amanda:  I’m picturing, like, a meet cute with Carrie, like she bumps into the author –

Carrie:  I know.

Amanda:  – and, like, her books tumble to the ground, and –

Carrie:  Well, I, you know, like, like –

Amanda:  – like, she’ll pick them up.

[Laughter]

Amanda:  Oh, I’m so sorry!

Carrie:  Oh, my God, we should totally do that.  So we have been tweeting back and forth, so I think that that may happen, although I don’t know how cute it will be.  I don’t think there will be books tumbling to the ground, but I, I think I might swoon.  So, yeah, and just in case, I haven’t even looked to see if she’s here, but I did bring my copy of A Knight in Shining Armor, in case Jude Deveraux –

Sarah:  By Jude Deveraux?

Carrie:  Yes.

Amanda:  I don’t think she’s here.

Sarah:  I can’t remember if I saw her on the list.

Amanda:  I think we, we were looking.

Carrie:  We were looking –

Sarah:  ‘Cause she was –

Carrie:  – and now I can’t remember what happened, so I just, like, threw it in the bag.

Sarah:  – she was there last year.  She and Ju-, Julie Garwood were there last year and the year before –

Carrie:  Wow.

Sarah:  – and the year before I nearly lost my mind.  Like, a, they were doing an open Q&A, and they, like, took questions from the audience, and I stood up to ask a question, and my mouth went dry, and my heart was beating.  I had to stand with my legs crossed ‘cause I was afraid I was going to pee –

[Laughter]

Sarah:  – and I was like, I can’t, I’m sorry, I just, I can’t talk right now, and everyone in the – and I was in the back – and everyone turned around and was like, yeah, we understand.

Amanda:  I wonder if we should be worried that our natural reaction is, like, expelling bodily fluids.

[Laughter]

Amanda:  Everyone is about to pee.

Sarah:  We’re so excited!  Authors make us urinate.

RHG:  Elizabeth Hoyt is here.

Elyse:  Yes.

RHG:  Yeah, and Elyse and I –

Sarah:  Who?

RHG:  Elizabeth Hoyt?  Maiden Lane?

Amanda:  Ooh.

RHG:  Elyse and I need to stalk her.

Elyse:  We do, and we need to thank her for writing in the Georgian period.

RHG:  We really, really do.

Elyse:  Yes, and Eloisa James I’m seconding.  Like, if I see her –

Amanda:  Yeah.

Elyse:  – tears are going to happen.

RHG:  Yep.

Elyse:  I mean, there’s just no way around it.

Sarah:  Are you wearing waterproof mascara?

Elyse:  Fuck yeah!

[Laughter]

RHG:  Elyse is terrifyingly prepared.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Elyse:  This is not my first rodeo, Sarah.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Well, I mean, I, I mean, I’m just assuming you don’t have cause to cry at the transportation dinners.

Elyse:  I, I don’t have cause to cry, but I’m always prepared for a throw-down, right?  So, like –

[Laughter]

Sarah:  You guys, Elyse is, like, little and blonde.

Carrie:  I know.  We, we have to start doing some sort of visual cue.

Sarah:  Yes, we’re going to do animated GIFs of Elyse taking down cover models.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  You guys, I was working out in the gym this morning, and one of the cover models was working out, and I was like, well, that’s not inspiring at all, and then he grabs his equipment and starts doing pull-ups, and I’m like, I’m staring.  I need to stop staring.  I need to stop, and I’m like, holy shit.  Like, muscles are bulging, and I’m like –

Elyse:  Did he have –

RHG:  I am so disappointed that you didn’t get video for us.

Sarah:  I would, I would’ve felt like that was so way over creepy line.

RHG:  Of course it would be over-creepy, but that’s not the point, Sarah!

[Laughter]

Elyse:  Did he have an Adonis belt?

Amanda:  Ooh.

Sarah:  He had his shirt on, so I couldn’t see the belt.

Elyse:  Oh, so you don’t know.

Amanda:  Well, that’s the first problem right there.

Carrie:  Right there, yeah.

Sarah:  If I see him doing pull-ups with his shirt off, I will most definitely whip out the camera for you.

RHG:  Okay, good.

Sarah:  ‘Cause I’m here for you.

Elyse:  So, Sarah, Sarah told us all yesterday, ‘cause I didn’t know what it was called, that thing that really muscular men have where –

RHG:  The V thing.

Carrie:  The V –

Elyse:  The V thing on their hip.

Amanda:  It starts with a V – doesn’t it start with a V?

RHG:  No.

Elyse:  No, it’s –

Sarah:  The informal name is the Adonis belt.

Carrie:  The Adonis belt.

Sarah:  That’s the informal name of it.

Elyse:  I just referred to it as the [knowing laugh] *gestures to curve from hip to groin * previously.

[Laughter and applause]

RHG:  I hear it, like – I hear it.

Elyse:  But it has a name.

Sarah:  Okay.  So would you suggest RT for someone who has never been and is thinking of going if they were a romance fan?

RHG:  Yes.

Amanda:  Are you really asking us this question?

Carrie:  Oh, yeah.

Elyse:  Absolutely.

Amanda:  Yeah, definitely.

Sarah:  [Laughs] So even though you’re all first-timers, you guys, we all know each other, but you, if you, you know, if you’re a first-timer, you should not be alarmed at the idea of going to a conference with thousands of book fans.

Somebody:  Nooo.

RHG:  I mean, I totally admit that I’m kind of shy about meeting new people, and – I know, it’s weird.  Sarah’s giving me this look like, hmm.  [Laughs] But having, having ma bitches –

Somebody:  Yeah.

RHG:  Dem’s all my bitches –

[Laughter]

Sarah:  That needs to be on a shirt for next year!

Carrie:  Right, it does.

Sarah:  In glitter, Dem’s All Ma Bitches!

[Laughter]

RHG:  Having, having my bitches has definitely made it easier and less anxiety-inducing.

Bitches:  Yes.

RHG:  But I have, I have on my name badge RedHeadedGirl, not my, my legal name, and – which has been great.  It was very confusing for the registration people – [laughs] – but I have talked to a number of people who are like, oh, you’re RedHeadedGirl.  I read your reviews.  I love your reviews, or stuff like that, so that’s also helped, and I have been sort of tweeting selfies each morning so people will know what I look like.

[Laughter]

RHG:  Also, my hair is adorable!

Sarah:  Your hair is very cute today.

Carrie:  It is adorable.

Sarah:  It is very cute today.

Carrie:  Yeah.

Elyse:  No, people are just really, really nice.  Like, I went, like I said, to the YA slumber party, didn’t know anyone there, didn’t know anyone going, just walked up to a table and said, hey, is anyone sitting there?  And we had a really, really good time, and everyone at that table was just readers, except for one woman was an editor, and so it was basically fangirling the whole time and all of us, like, writing down, oh, really, that book, okay, you know.

[Laughter]

Somebody:  Yeah.

Elyse:  I mean, it was, it was pretty amazing.

Sarah:  Awesome.

Amanda:  I’ve been given chocolate just for taking pictures of people.  Like, people will stop me, can you take a picture of us?  I was like, yeah, sure, and they’re like, here, have some chocolate, and have, like, a free book download, and have all these things.  It’s like, okay.

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Will take your picture for chocolate and books?

Amanda:  Yeah!  And then –

Sarah:  I think you’ve discovered a very lucrative side business.

Amanda:  I think so.  And then, so, I’m graduating on Monday, so I –

[Cheers, applause, general merriment]

Amanda:  – I’m meeting with, like, a lot of industry people, like, doing informational interviews, and everyone I’ve met with has been great about, like, taking time out of their crazy, insane schedule and just, I haven’t had a bad experience, not that I was expecting to, but just, everyone’s so gracious, and I think that’s one thing that I really like about the romance community is just everyone’s so welcoming, for the most part.

Sarah:  Well, most people who work in romance are themselves romance fans, and you can kind of tell the professionals who aren’t into the genre, because they come to something like this, and they’re like, whoa, what’s going on?  Whereas the, the romance people who are fluent in the genre and fans of the genre and really excited to be working in it are like, well, yes, I need a tiara!  What are you kidding me?  I need one, like, right now!

Elyse:  Also, the amount of books you get is insane.

Sarah:  No, it’s, it is not to be underestimated.

RHG:  Oh, no.

Sarah:  I was not lying when I said pack a suitcase and then put it inside another suitcase –

Elyse:  Yes.

Sarah:  – and the larger one will hold books.

Elyse:  Yes, it is.  I have many, many-many books.  Like, I may have to FedEx my books home, because I think I’m going to hit the weight limit for my bag.

Sarah:  You may hit the weight limit for the whole plane.

[Laughter]

RHG:  Yeah.

Elyse:  You know what?  And I call bullshit on the weight limit, because those planes carry the fucking space shuttle, so don’t you dare tell me –

[Laughter]

Elyse:  – that you can’t handle 51 pounds in my suitcase.

RHG:  Yep.  I have eight pounds to play with in my suitcase, plus I can take another carryon –

Sarah and Amanda:  Yeah.

RHG:  – on, on the plane, and I’ve already gone down to the book swap room with books that I definitely am not going to read, and I’m going to have to, I’m going to have to be a little bit ruthless again –

Bitches:  Yeah.

RHG:  – and go, I know I thought maybe I’d read this, but let’s be real.

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Amanda:  Yeah.

Elyse:  Also, if authors are listening, like, the best promo item that I have seen so far is –

Sarah:  I’m totally doing an entry about this, so I so want to hear it.

Elyse:  So, I, I feel bad because you get all of these bookmarks and postcards and stuff like that, and the truth is, people just recycle ‘em.

Sarah:  Mm-hmm.

Elyse:  Right, ‘cause there’s only so much, like, paper stuff that you can have –

Bitches:  Yeah, mm-hmm.

Elyse:  – but there were a couple really cool things, and one of them was the, like, one of those lens cleaner cloths –

Sarah:  Yep!

Elyse:  – for your glasses, ‘cause I’m, oh, I have them on me all the time, and I’m always losing them.

Sarah:  Yep.

Elyse:  And so that will always be in my purse, and what else, ChapStick?  People have been giving out ChapStick.

RHG:  So much ChapStick.

Carrie:  A little package of Kleenex, that was good.

RHG:  Yep.

Elyse:  And then someone who had done, I think it’s Julie Rowe had done, she made Thank You cards!  Like, she must do stamping, crafting things.

Sarah:  Yep.

Elyse:  She made Thank You cards and packaged them individually and then put her little insert in the back –

Sarah:  Yep.

Elyse:  – and I’m like, that is –

Somebody:  Oh, cute!

Elyse:  – the best idea ever!  You – well, I’m from the Midwest, so you, if you don’t send a Thank You card, you go to hell.

[Laughter]

Elyse:  So you always need Thank You cards.

Sarah:  It’s – RedHeadedGirl is nodding at this.  This is true.  Checks out.

Elyse:  Yeah, three days.  The day after my wedding, my mother called me.  Have you started on your Thank You cards yet?  I’m like –

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Well, I have to tell you, I learned something really cool.  On the first floor, around the corner from the big wall fountain that says RT, there’s a huge banner of –

Carrie:  Avon?

Sarah:  – from, from Avon, and the key cards, which I will take a picture of, the key cards all have models on them with, you know, tell your roommate your busy tonight, and the same models are sort of in that picture, but they’re in front of this huge bookshelf.  All of the books in the bookshelf are the backlists of the authors that are here.  So they ordered all of those authors’ books, put them on a big shelf, and took the picture as the start of that huge mural.

Carrie:  That is cool.

Amanda:  And a green screen.

Sarah:  And a green screen.  Isn’t that cool?

Carrie:  That is way cool.

Sarah:  So all of the books in the background are the different authors from Avon and Avon Impulse and HarperCollins and Morrow and whoever else is here that are here at RT –

Carrie:  That’s awesome.

Sarah:  – so they’re all represented.  I’m like, that’s really cool!  And so thoughtful!  And then I met a puppy and a fireman yesterday, so, like, my –

Amanda:  I saw that puppy picture.

Carrie:  Oh, my God.

Amanda:  Tiny little dog!

Sarah:  He was three weeks old.  He was bottle fed.  I asked –

Bitches:  Awww!

Sarah:  I asked what breed he was, and the woman was like, he’s, he’s a Dallas special, like, we don’t know.  But the, the, the conference is collecting money for the Dallas animal shelter, and so there’s a table, probably outside one of the ballrooms –

RHG:  Mm-hmm.

Sarah:  – and I think they’re bringing animals for parts of the day in from the shelter –

Bitches:  Ohhh!

Sarah:  – so this, for, so yesterday, for the welcome breakfast –

RHG:  Okay, I’m going to go down there, like, right now!

Carrie:  So now you know where to find us during the conference.

RHG:  Yeah.

Sarah:  So yesterday, I’m standing there, and there’s this woman with a puppy, and I’m like, well, puppy!  I mean, there was a woman with a corset, and there was a woman with, like, lace, like a lace cape.  You know, there’s people with all different colors of hair, and I’m like, yeah, yeah, yeah, puppy!  And then a fireman walks in in full dress, because they were going to acknowledge, he, he had saved people and a bunch of dogs in a fire –

Bitches:  Aww!

Sarah:  – so, so they’re, you know, the welcoming breakfast, they were honoring this guy, and they were talking about raising money for the animal shelter, and then there was a fireman holding a puppy, and I was like, I –

RHG:  I can’t.  [Laughs]

Sarah:  – I, I, I’m, I, I can’t top this moment.  Conference start at, like, an A+ –

Carrie:  Yeah.

Sarah:  – and it’s only going to get better from here.  ‘Cause oh, my God, he was so cute!

Elyse:  I feel like if you said FYI, guys, there’s going to be a fireman holding a cute puppy and he saved a bunch of dogs in a fire, there would be a line of women offering to bone him just as a thank you.

[Laughter]

Elyse:  Right?

Amanda:  Thank you for your service!

Elyse:  Thank you for your service, sir.

Sarah:  You don’t understand!  I was telling, he came in, and he’s like, clearly did not know why he was here, and the woman who was meeting him was explaining, we’re going to introduce you, you, people will be really excited, and I was like, people are going to scream.  They are going to cheer extremely loudly.  They’re, they’re, people may start crying.  This is, and I’m, he’s looking like, he’s starting to look a little, you know, frightened and a little, a little alarmed, like, maybe I should go back to my car.  And I’m like, people are going to lose their minds.  If you hold the puppy onstage, I think that you should prepare to use your training to escape the room –

Carrie:  [Laughs]

Sarah:  – because people are going to be completely, so excited –

Carrie:  Yeah.

Sarah:  – and he had this look on his face like, is this woman for real?  And the woman who was coordinating, she’s like, no, Sarah’s not wrong.  That’s exactly what’s going to happen.

Carrie:  Yeah.

Sarah:  So call upon your training.  I know you go into burning buildings.  This is probably more scary than that!  It’s going to be cool.  [Laughs]

Amanda:  So, speaking of people not knowing what’s going on, I was in the elevator with Carrie after the whole bull-riding thing, and there were two other RT attendees in the elevator with us, and we had room for a couple more people, and there’s this huge dude, like, easily six-four, six-six, like, ripped and, like, tattoos, but he wasn’t a cover model.  He was just staying here with his friends, and he had, like, two other guys with him, and we had enough room, and so he gets in the elevator, and one of the other women is like, come on, guys.  Come on, honeys, you can get in the elevator with us; it’s fine.  And the other two dudes are, like, looking really hesitant –

[Laughter]

Sarah:  We are the dominant force here, sir.

Amanda:  – but, like, the, the really tall guy was, like, standing there, and then the woman says, it’s okay, honey, we don’t bite unless you want us to, and then that guy bolted out of the elevator.

[Laughter]

Carrie:  That was hilarious.

Amanda:  And the doors closed, and we’re just like, okay.

Carrie:  Yeah.

Sarah:  [Still laughing] Awesome.

Elyse?:  Subverting your patriarchy, one conference at a time.

Sarah:  Damn right!

[Laughter]

Sarah:  Anything else you want to tell people about RT that you think they should know?  It’s awesome; everyone should come if they can?

RHG:  Yeah, pretty much.

Sarah:  Next year is in Vegas.

RHG:  Yeah.

Amanda:  I’m – yeah.

Sarah:  It’ll be amazing.

RHG:  Yeah.

Sarah:  And hot.

Amanda:  They need to announce, like, the hotel super early.

RHG:  They, there’s a poster downstairs.

Somebody:  Yeah.

Sarah:  Oh, it’s the Rio.

RHG:  So it’s not, it’s not on the Strip, but it’s not –

Amanda:  Yeah.

RHG:  – not, like, out in the desert.  It’s just sort of –

Sarah:  Right.  And there’s a shuttle from the Rio to Bally’s and then from Bally’s you can easily get to the Strip.

RHG:  Mm-hmm.

Elyse:  Also, if you’re one of those people who, like, you can go down to the lobby and just sit on one of the couches and read your book and you are not a weird, antisocial person.

Sarah:  Oh, no, after –

Elyse:  No, this is –

Carrie:  That’s nice, yeah.

Elyse:  Yeah.

Sarah:  My favorite thing to do after the book signing is to look around.  Like, people have just, you know – ‘cause a lot of us are introverts, right?

Bitches:  Mm-hmm.

Sarah:  So we’ve just spent a room, an hour, in a huge room filled with thousands of people, and all of these people who have bought books will exit the ballroom, and you will find them under stairs, behind plants, in corners.  Like, we’re, I’ve, I went to the overflow hotel last year, and there was a woman tucked underneath the bottom of the emergency exit stairs with, like, a blanket, and she, well, she found an outlet, ‘cause girl was not dumb.  So she’d plugged in her phone and was wearing a blanket and was, like, had a little stack of books, and I’m like, you’re the smartest person in this room.

Carrie:  Yeah.

Sarah:  So you’ll find people hidden in corners and tucked into places reading.  It’s totally normal.

Elyse:  Oh, and we got an amazing book last night from St. Martin’s called The –

RHG:  The Highwayman.

Amanda:  Yes!

Elyse:  We were –

RHG:  It looks like, like, they showed me the cover, and I’m like, oh!  I can smell the crack from here!

Sarah:  [Laughs]

RHG:  And I ran, I jumped out of line and ran over to the booth.  It was like, I need the crack!  I need it!

Carrie:  And they’re like –

RHG:  And the girl at the booth was like, what the fuck is happening?

Carrie:  And Elyse and I are just, like, opening it to, like, random pages and going, ooh!  Ooh!

RHG:  He’s a black jaguar!

Carrie:  She has liquid gray eyes and silver hair, and then we’d, like, crack it open again at, like, a totally random page, and we’d be like, well!  And then we’d, like, read a sentence.  We should do a podcast review of it, like a group reading review.

RHG:  Yeah, right.

Sarah:  Oh, that would be good.

RHG:  Or, or a group something review.  That’s, this is my plane reading on the way home.

Carrie:  It, it really does.  It, it was, well, we’ll all read on the plane.  It just, it was like, it was just like, crack between covers.

Elyse:  Whatever page you opened it to, there was grade-A –

Carrie:  There was just –

Elyse:  – old school – there was a line like, he was her black jaguar –

RHG:  Yep.

Carrie:  Yeah.

Elyse:  – and he was going to devour her alive, and, like, I just opened –

Sarah:  Whoa!

Elyse:  Yes!  And –

Carrie:  Oh, my God, yeah.

Elyse:  – we were standing in line for the bull, just randomly reading passages out loud, and you could feel the other women kind of creeping up on us, like, where’d you get that?

[Laughter]

RHG:  Over there, over there!

Carrie:  Yeah, yeah.

Sarah:  You guys all ma bitches.

[Laughter]

Elyse:  Dem’s all ma bitches!

Bitches:  All my bitches!

RHG:  We’re, we’re getting that shirt for next year.  We have to.

Carrie:  We are.

Amanda:  Bitchez with a Z.

RHG:  Yep.

[Laughter]

RHG:  Yes, with the, the website on the back.

Elyse:  Yes, yes.

Sarah:  I am totally down for this.

Carrie:  Yeah.

[music]

Sarah:  That is all for this week’s podcast from RT.  I will have more micro-interviews with different people from RT and additional discussion about romance novels, ‘cause that’s what we do here, in future episodes of the podcast.

I want to thank Piper Huguley and RedHeadedGirl, Elyse, Carrie, and Amanda for joining me to talk about the conference and what they’re doing.

As always, I will have links to all the books that we discussed, if available, in the podcast entry, which I’m told is also called the show notes.

The music you’re listening to was provided by Sassy Outwater.  You can see her on Twitter @SassyOutwater.  This is called “Pro Terezku,” and it’s by a band called Dun an Doras.  You can find them on MySpace or on iTunes, wherever your fine music is sold.

This podcast is brought to you InterMix, publisher of This Wedding Is Doomed!, a brand-new anthology about unexpected couples who find their happily-ever-after at a wedding that’s counting down to disaster.  You can download it on May 19^th.

If you have questions or suggestions, you know what you can do!  You can email the podcast at [email protected].  We do love listener email, and we have lots to go through in the new few weeks.

And in the meantime, on behalf of Piper, Amanda, Carrie, RedHeadedGirl, Elyse, and myself, and from everyone here at RT I presume as well, we wish you the very best of reading.  Have a great weekend.

[lively music]