Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S17 E9: We Love Taylor

We open the show with Katie saying, “It’s crazy to think one of these guys is gonna be my fiancé.”

I agree.

It’s Hometowns week, which normally would have the Bachelorette travel to the dudes’ hometowns, but because of Covid, they are flying their families in instead.

First up is Blake. He’s from Canada, so they have a Canadian-themed date first. Blake jokes that he keeps maple syrup in his bedside table. They play truth or dare. Blake asks Katie if she’d move to Canada as one of her “truths” and she says she’d consider it. Then they play street hockey.

Meanwhile Greg looks on from a balcony and he’s got a sad face on. “Out of the blue, I saw a glimpse of their one-on-one. God, I’m sick to my stomach,” he comments. “Seeing her with Blake, she looks so happy, and it scared me.”

That night Katie meets Blake’s family. Blake’s mom, Emily, asks Katie where they are at as a couple. Katie admits they aren’t in love yet, but that she feels like they can get there. She says, “I know if it’s Blake and I at the end, it truly is forever.”

Then Blake’s sister, Taylor, talks to him. “So. This is the one now? Is this the one? You were so set…before you even met Clare you were like ‘I love her,’ and,” she snaps her fingers, “that was gone off the table in how long? And then Tayshia came in,” she snaps her fingers again, “you’re in love again. You get to this point where you say she’s the one. Like what do you mean?”

OMG I love this woman.

Blake says, “No one has aligned with me like this ever.”

Taylor then questions why they haven’t told each other they love each other yet. Blake says it needs to happen naturally.

Blake’s mom asks him if he can really see Katie as his wife, and when he says yes, she replies, “Cuz if you really feel it you need to man-the-fuck-up and tell her.”

The women in his family are pure joy. Why isn’t the show about them?

Blake goes on to tell the camera that all he feels is love or love will keep them together or IDK what. He’s in love.

Instead of telling Katie he loves her, Blake says, “I feel so good about you.”

So then it’s Justin’s turn and we learn his parents aren’t coming on the show because they’re logical people.

“I just find it difficult to understand how anyone could get to know someone in this short period of time to propose,” his mother says over the phone. “You have to be mindful of getting to know someone, but also their family, because all of those things are important in a marriage.”

“I’m in full agreement with that, but you and dad aren’t here, so what am I supposed to do?” he replies.

His dad says he trusts Justin’s judgment while clearly not wanting to be part of any of this shitshow. Instead his two best friends will be coming on the show.

First they have their one-on-one date with the theme of Justin’s hometown of Baltimore. They eat crabs, and when Katie breaks hers open she makes a face at the green stuff inside.

Justin tells her his family couldn’t make it (they didn’t want to come on the show but ok), but that his friends Herb and Tommy will be there instead.

So they sit down with Herb and Tommy in what I assume is one of the resort’s rooms, except behind Herb and Tommy on a table behind the sofa are family photos. But from what I can see by squinting and pausing, they don’t appear Justin’s family photos. One of them looks like an old black and white picture.

So either they sent some PA to Wal Mart to buy frames and kept the generic family pictures they came with in there, or those are some random person’s pictures. I ask my husband, “Whose family photos are those?”

Rich supplies, “Those are the photos that belong to the dead family that haunts that room. They’ve thrown those photos out 43 times now and they just keep reappearing. Housekeeping does rock, paper, scissors to see who has to clean that room.”

This also makes the most sense to me.

Anywhoo, Herb asks Katie if Justin has said he’s in love with her and she confirms he hasn’t.

Justin tells Herb there’s still time to tell Katie he loves her.

“Still time? There’s two weeks,” Herb says.

Damn, the “families” aren’t fucking around this time. At the end of the night Justin tells Katie he’s falling in love with her.

Then it’s time for Greg’s date. He’s from NJ so they have pork roll sandwiches and Italian ice. Then they play basketball which is important to Greg because his late dad was his basketball coach.

That night Katie meets Greg’s mom, his brother, Joe, and his best friend, Dave. Greg’s sisters couldn’t make it (one is pregnant and the other just started a new job) so they send a video message.

Joe tells Katie that she’s the first person Greg has talked to about their dad.

Greg tells Dave he’s in love with Katie and that he’s totally ready to be engaged.

Katie tells Greg’s mom that he’s a frontrunner and then says, “I don’t care if I’m allowed to say this, but Greg will be here next week.”

When they are alone Greg tells Katie he hasn’t been this happy since before his dad died. “I haven’t been this vulnerable with anyone in my life, I don’t know what to show you after this,” he says.

He looks at Katie and she just smiles at him. “I just love looking at you,” she says.

Greg…doesn’t look thrilled with that answer.

Katie says he’ll be on the show next week and that they’re almost there. “We’re very close. Just hang in there. I keep telling you that,” she says.

“This is just hard for me,” Greg says.

“I know. I do,” she replies.

“I don’t know if you do,” he replies. “I can’t be there at the end if I don’t think it’s us.”

“I promise,” Katie says.

“I just don’t understand how you don’t know at this point. I just don’t get it,” he says.

DUDE. She can’t just tell you she’s gonna pick you. The Rose God would force the PAs to throw her in a volcano or something. YOU CAN’T DISTURB THE BALANCE.

“I just feel like you’re losing in trust in us,” Katie says.

“I’m close to losing my shit,” he replies.

Did I mention we still have 40 minutes left?

Some indeterminate amount of time later, Blake tells Greg he has no idea what Katie is thinking right now.

Greg says he’s sad because he poured his heart out to Katie and she didn’t respond in kind. Then he says it’s clear to him that she doesn’t feel the same way about him, and he goes to her hotel room. He knocks on her door and she invites him in.

Greg tells her that he when he told Katie he loved her, he felt dismissed by her.

“I’m sorry that it came off that way,” Katie says. “It’s something I don’t think I communicated to you, but I communicated to your family members, but I haven’t told anyone I loved them yet.”

She adds that she’s saving that for the end.

He says he gets that but she didn’t even acknowledge what he said to her. “I even feel like right now you’re giving me a surface level response. ” He adds, “Fuck the rose. I don’t give a shit about the rose. I was just telling you that you filled a hole in my heart.”

He says there is a disconnect between them and he’s reached his breaking point.

Katie asks him if he’s going home and he says yes.

“It was never about a rose for me this week, and I was never asking you to confess your love to me, all I was asking for was Katie,” Greg says.

“So this one time you think you didn’t get me, you’re done?” Katie asks.

“This one time? It’s days away from an engagement and I told you you filled a hole in my heart and you didn’t even acknowledge it,” he says.

JESUS CHRIST THIS IS PAINFUL.

There’s 20 more minutes of this nonsense. I’m going to condense it for you. Greg feels like Katie put up a wall. Katie doesn’t agree and is frustrated Greg is acting like this. Greg doesn’t appear to understand he’s on a dating show.  Greg goes home. Katie demands someone book her flight home.

Pudding wants to know if you’re still watching?