March Movie Selection: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

It’s time for our March Smart Bitches Movie Matinee, where we all watch a movie when it’s most convenient for us (which for most of us here means when libations most friendly are adjacent or in the vicinity) and discuss together!

First, holy smokey gouda, THANK YOU for all the excellent suggestions! We have, I kid you not, over 250 responses and they’re all terrific, which means this feature will continue until we are very, very aged and pickled indeed.

This month: My Big Fat Greek Wedding! I confess, I have a deep, deep fondness for this movie, having experienced many cultural-blending family weddings and celebrations. Plus, it is a fact universally ignored that Joey Fatone makes any visual product 212% more excellent.

The sequel, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, is coming out on March 25th, and I find myself strangely excited about it. When the movie became a television show, I was happy for Nia Vardalos, but I wasn’t really into any more of that story – I thought it had been told completely in the movie. I also suspect that my heavy diet of romance, which focuses on the ending, combined with my literary dislike of open-ended series, contributed to my unfortunate “meh” response to the television series.

As for the film, I own it. It’s one of those movies that despite having seen it a bunch of times, AND despite having the DVD, when it’s on television and I bump into it, I stop flipping channels and watch it again. (I do the same thing with Varsity Blues aka “AH DON’T WANT YER LAHFE.” Is there a name for that phenomenon? You own the DVD but you’ll watch it on cable with commercials when it’s on? I bet there is.)

There was some negative reaction to the first movie when it came out: many Greek Americans and scholars of ethnicity and culture felt it relied heavily on framing the Greek immigrants, Toula’s parents and relatives, as “other” and found the portrayal offensive. I’m curious to see if perspectives and favorable impressions change upon viewing the film again 14 or so years later (it came out in 2002). Part of why we wanted to launch this series was to see if the romantic comedies we have such fondness for still hold up 10+ years later.

As for the sequel, starring Toula and Ian as parents, I am SO CURIOUS and possibly even BOOKING A BABY SITTER (that is high praise right there – babysitters and movie tickets are expensive!)

I love what Nia Vardalos had to say about writing the second movie in this interview:

Vardalos said she was careful to make sure the sequel was filled with strong female characters — and admits that even in 2016, it’s difficult to find such roles in the scripts she’s sent.

VERY MUCH HERE FOR THIS!

Alas, My Big Fat Greek Wedding (Original Recipe) is not available on Netflix. It is available on iTunes and Amazon, and the DVD can be found at your local library, or very cheaply online in new and used condition from Amazon or Alibris.

We hope you’ll join us on Sunday, March 27, for our movie discussion! 

Comments are Closed

  1. Milly says:

    Sarah, I sent you an email because I have SO SO SO many things to say about this movie and it is very spoiler filled. As a 1st generation Canadian of Greek background this movie hit so many cords, right and wrong I can’t even begin to say. Ultimately I think its success lies in the fact that it got the child of the immigrant experience pretty bang on in a fun and cute way even though it did it through stereotypes.

  2. R E G says:

    Memories…..

    I went to see this movie in the theatre with my girls. We laughed at all the obvious stuff plus all the under the radar stuff. I thought we’d all die when the ladies sat down on the plastic covered couch.

    As soon as it was out on video we raced to rent it to show my (Italian) husband. He sat stone-faced through the entire thing, nodded at the end, said it was nice they got married and looked around for a better movie. You know something with boxing and car chases.

    I don’t get why anyone found it offensive. I have spent my married life among Italians, and I consider it practically a documentary. Yes now the Greeks can all hate me because they are not Italians and the Italians can all hate me because they are not Greeks, but the desire to give your children the best of the cultural experiences you have left behind is universal. That was the story my husband saw when he watched it.

    His friend complained to me that it was not true; they didn’t BBQ on the front lawn. And we said yeah … remember that time …and he said yeah …You’re right.

    To this day whenever a vegetarian comes to dinner someone delivers Andrea Martin’s classic line.

  3. SB Sarah says:

    @Milly – will head over to the inbox now!

    As I said above, I’m so curious whether this story feels the same now that I’m 12 years older and see so many things differently.

  4. DonnaMarie says:

    @R E G: Us too! Any discussion of what to make for holiday or celebration dinner includes it. Do I need to tell you what we all suggested when my goddaughter woke up with a blemish the day before standing up in her friend’s wedding?

  5. My husband and I laughed like loons watching this film because it was so much like our non-Greek, but ethnic, life. We could relate to all the characters, and hope the sequel is a huge success

    Excellent romantic movie choice!

  6. nightsmusic says:

    If you have HBO, it’s on March 18th at 12:40am, 2 and 5pm (all eastern time zones) and then again starting the 25th for several days…just an FYI. But I loved the original!

  7. Joy says:

    When I moved to Chicago (which like Toronto has got LOTS of immigrant groups) I was struck by all the funny stories told by 2nd generation ethnic groups. Greek school, Lithuanian school, same thing. Plastic covered white sofas are universal. In Chicago people live in their basement rec rooms and keep the living room for when the priest comes to visit (or similar). Everyone seems embarrassed/proud by one strange dish that’s part of their culture. Chicken feet, pigs feet,wing tips, whatever, aren’t hard to find in grocery stores. Costco here sells whole lambs in some areas. A whole pig isn’t uncommon.

    I think it celebrates the mix of secret pride 2nd generations have for their culture and the embarrassment of kids for their elders. Weddings bring out all the differences in bright bold typeface so MBFGW is one of my favorite movies.

  8. Cat says:

    When this movie came out, I was a teenager,and I remember my best friend looking at me and telling me that was my family, and I couldn’t fault her too hard for that; although I have a feeling will relate more to Toula’s daughter than anything. Both of my parents were children of immigrants, although with completely different backgrounds; My dad was the child of English and Irish immigrants who lived in Canada for a while before then deciding to go state side, and were Presbyterian. While my mother on the other hand was Mexican, Catholic, and a migrant field worker. While we were not Greek, it doesn’t make the story resonate any less. Of course there were stereotypes and blown out of proportion characters, but coming from the imagination of an obvious dreamer, looking back at these things real life could seem over stated and silly like that. For me, I have 64 first cousins, 64… and when there are family gatherings we eat.

  9. Lara says:

    I married a Greek man, and from what I can tell, My Big Fat Greek Wedding is downright documentary.

  10. I loved this movie and because of the sequel, I requested this one from my library. It arrived yesterday and I woke up this morning to discover I am prescient 😉

  11. Rhoda Baxter says:

    My husband and I watched this on the plane on the way back from our wedding (I’m Sri Lankan by descent, my husband’s English). I felt it nailed the second generation immigrant experience, Greek or otherwise. He felt it nailed what it was like to marry into another culture/big family.

  12. Stefanie Magura says:

    This one of three movies I clearly have memories of my dad taking me to the theater to see–the others being Legally Blonde and Wholes–and now that I’m thinking about it, I wonder whether it’s something he could relate to, being the firstborn of a Swiss mother and a Slovakian father who came to the US in 1949 and settled for the first few years in Monessen, Pensylvania, which had by then long been an immigrant community. But my dad is also someone who likes comedies, so there could be more than one reason.

  13. Stefanie Magura says:

    And yes, I did enjoy My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

  14. I must confess that being Italian I did not understand any of the hype that the first My Big Fat Greek Wedding received. In consultation with friends who are WASPs and who loved the film, we decided that it appealed more to viewers without strong ethnic ties. My Latina friends agreed.

    Understand, it may have been a terrific film but I am not part of the demographic it was aimed at.

    Although, I am pleased to see John Corbett acting again. Loved his work in Northern Exposure, Sex in the City, and even that very short-lived SF show he did. But maybe I liked that because I found him appealing.

  15. MegS says:

    “As for the film, I own it. It’s one of those movies that despite having seen it a bunch of times, AND despite having the DVD, when it’s on television and I bump into it, I stop flipping channels and watch it again. (I do the same thing with Varsity Blues aka “AH DON’T WANT YER LAHFE.” Is there a name for that phenomenon? You own the DVD but you’ll watch it on cable with commercials when it’s on? I bet there is.)”

    Yep. Sarah Bunting’s Poppy Fields Hall of Fame (ex: http://tomatonation.com/culture-and-criticism/poppy-fields-movie-couch-of-fame-diner/).

  16. denise says:

    I love the movie and watch it any time it’s on tv. Saw it just a few weeks ago.

    seemed just like my friend’s family, except they killed and roasted a goat in the backyard. and the Italians had the pig roast.

    I grew up in a town with a Greek section, Italian section, Polish section, Jewish section, Irish section, etc… I think when one grows up with the exposure to all of the cultures, one learns there is a lot of truth in the story. It’s not making fun of, but celebrating the culture.

    **************************************************

    I notice no one ever complains when the the Plain people of Lancaster County are portrayed against type or culture. In fact, most don’t know the difference amongst Amish, Mennonite, Brethren, and other Anabaptists. They are lumped into one, and the subgenre of romance dedicated to them is fraught with errors.

  17. I have been appalled by the objectification of the bonnet books from the beginning, for the record.

    I loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding the first time I saw it, but it hasn’t held up for me. The film that did a similar thing at the same time that I absolutely thought was better than BFGW was Bend It Like Beckham. That’s the one I bought and watched many times. But I haven’t watched it in years. Now I’m wondering how it holds up.

  18. Kelly S says:

    Given that March 27th is Easter, I’m unlikely to join you. Enjoy it!

  19. @denise, FWIW, I don’t read inspirationals because except for one author, Linda someone who sets her books in a tiny TX town, I find most of those authors are not very good writers.

    But as one who does know the difference between, Amish, Mennonite, etc if I read a book with inaccuracies you can be sure I would be objecting with great vigor.

    I’ve seen too many movies with too many Italian-American stereotypes for the purpose of making fun of a certain ethnic community. I guess that is why I didn’t like MBFGW1. I felt it was stereotyping and making fun of Greek Americans.

    Pretty sure if that had been a movie about black Americans with that degree of stereotyping for the purpose of making fun of people, there would have been a huge outcry.

  20. SB Sarah says:

    @MegS: That is the perfect name for it.

  21. Heather S says:

    @Patricia Burroughs: I love “Bend It Like Beckham”! “Arranged” is another great movie – it is about two young women – one Orthodox Jew, one Muslim – who have to navigate being women of faith (and, in Nasira’s case, child of immigrants) when other people think that they are backward, as well as their parents’ expectations, all while looking for a spouse. The story was written by a Jewish woman and based on her friendship with a Muslim woman.

    The movie should be on Netflix still, or your library might have a copy. It is a film I think everyone should see.

  22. Thanks, @Heather S. Will definitely watch “Arranged!”

  23. Rebecca says:

    Chiming in on the love for “Bend It Like Beckham”! As I recall my initial response to MBFGW when it came out was “meh.” I have one Greek-American friend who loved it, but I could see where it would be offensive. I think my biggest problem with it is that it ends up sort of doing “generic ethnic” vs. WASP. In real life, my Greek American friend’s partner is an Eastern European Jew. I know tons of Irish-Italian pairings, plus lots more mixtures of the “In the Heights” “Chiledominicurican” variety. Actually, “Bend It Like Beckham” does this too, witness the scene when Jaz flares at Joe after being called a racial epithet “You don’t understand!” and he replies “I’m Irish. Of course I understand.”

    Even the majority WASP culture of “Bend It Like Beckham” is given a lot more complexity than just the “prim and reserved” of MBFGW. In fact, the former film goes to some trouble to show that BOTH Indian and English cultures have quite a bit in common by picturing parallel scenes with Jaz and Jules’ mothers. Some of these parallels are comical (e.g. the push up bra scenes). Some involve real problems, like the threads of sexism and homophobia that BOTH girls face in different ways.

    In contrast, MBFGW feels rather simplistic. WASPs are reserved. “Ethnics” (it almost doesn’t matter what kind) talk and dance loudly and eat a lot. Any assimilation is between the WASP and the “other” as opposed to the rich intermingling of many cultures, or the coming together of two types of outsiders, who realize they have stuff in common. I kind of dislike the implication that Prince Charming has to be a WASP basically as a status symbol to show assimilation and acceptance.

    As a final love note to “Bend It Like Beckham” – the happy ending there feels earned partly because the heroine DOESN’T go through the classic “makeover” where she learns to use makeup and trades glasses for contacts. Instead, the hero literally encourages her to show her physical scars and not be ashamed of them. (Which of course helps prove he’s the hero.)

  24. Lisa says:

    Oh how I love this movie. I know it plays up the stereotypes, but each character on the screen has a real life counterpart in one of my Italian relatives (how I love them). The year it came out my second cousin once removed and I met up in our high school hallway and had a great laugh about it and how our grandparents/aunts/uncles did not find it funny at all because “we do that all the time” (roast the lamb/meat in the backyard, dress in those fashions, cover the furniture in plastic wrap, etc). According to my mother this movie could have been a documentary about her wedding to my father (she finds it hilarious btw).

    Also…. the name thing is absolutely 100% correct. At least once every family get-together mass confusion is caused when somebody calls out “FIRST NAME” over a raucous crowd and 2-3 people respond. I still think that at family functions we should have name tags at that spell out your relationships going back to the oldest generation (ie. Lisa, daughter of Angela, granddaughter of Sebastiano, etc) so you don’t have to constantly spell it out for newbies or people who “haven’t seen you since you were thiiiiis tall”. 😀

  25. kitkat9000 says:

    My family is Italian/English/German and small. Also mostly dying out. And we love this movie despite or maybe because of the stereotypes. I actually prefer Moonstruck a little more (which I also just re-watched) but both films have aspects that resonate because I either lived through it myself, witnessed it, or heard tales of it from other family members.

    I also grew up in a neighborhood with a large immigrant Greek population and bore witness to some of what the movie showed but also an arranged marriage. Which was SO STRANGE to me as an American to think of parents choosing a group of men acceptable to them as prospective husband material for their daughter. The squick factor for me? She was introduced to those men when she was 12/13 years old and had supervised visits with them until she choose the one she liked most. And then she married him the summer between 11th and 12th grades. When they married she was 16/17 years old and he was at least 32.

    I have no idea whether they’re still married but that’s not really the point. She went to both proms with a man old enough to be her father. I had nightmares on her behalf when I learned the house he’d bought for them had 6 bedrooms… and she was expected to fill most if not all of them. It’s been 30 years and I still get upset thinking about it (mother raised me as a feminist). Oddly enough, she never voiced that- her parents were what we called “Old Country” and they raised her like they would have had they still been in Greece.

  26. Kelly C says:

    As someone who is NOT Greek and yet worked for Greeks for over 25 years, I can attest that all the things said and done in MBFGW are in fact TRUE.

  27. Harrison says:

    It is NOT available in Canada on iTunes.

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