I’m told “A Shore Thing” has “strong romantic elements” so I’m shore to love it, right? RIGHT? Of course I am!
So join me tomorrow, Tuesday, 4 January at 8:30am EST, when I shall begin reading and live-blogging my reaction to Snooki’s “A Shore Thing,” her first novel.
Note: I will have to take a time out around 11am because I will be going to have bloodwork done, but this is only a benefit to you. Why? Because it is fasting bloodwork, which means I will be hungry and cranky! Plus, the break in the action will allow you to refill your flasks, because if there’s not a drinking game to be found in this novel, I’ll eat my BumpIt. (If I had one).
Also note: PLEASE let me know if during the broadcast you see advertisements pop up in the CoverItLive window. I changed the settings to stop the popup ads from showing up – I hope it worked!
I love you, SB Sarah, but my time I would be waking up at share this glorious experience with you at 5:30AM. So start without me, ‘K?
Talk about taking one for the team!
Amen, Amanda! Sarah deserves a medal for this one! Like Carrie, though, tee time is too early for my old soul so I’ll be checking in later as well. Will you be tweeting, too? *pleasepleasepleaseplease*
Why does it think I’m a spammer? It won’t post my real comment.
…I kind of want to read this.
The summary sounds fun.
What’s a Snooki?
Ack! Sarah, as a fellow New Jerseyan, how can you give this unwanted intruder even more attention? No taylor ham (or blueberries if you’re kosher) for you!
Goodness. I read the summary on Amazon. Sounds like an American equivalent to a novel about Essex Girls.
I suspect that Sarah will have some very trenchant comments…
I’ve read excerpts. Sarah, I hope you’ll be wearing a condom.
To whet your appetite and encourage participation, here is an excerpt (no lie):
“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
At the risk of sounding cynical, I suspect the only writing Snooki did for this book was when she signed her name on the publisher’s contract.
I may skip the discussion and go straight to the drinking. I’m sure you understand.
There is ABSOLUTELY no need to have a cover showing for this one. Really, no need at all.
Actually, I think the real ratings winner would be if Snookie went on What Not To Wear.
Or What Not To Say.
Or What Not To Do.
Or What Not To Put A Bump In.
Of course, Snookie made more money last year then I did in the past decade so: Rock On Snookie-girl.
Reading through these comments, I’m extremely thankful that I don’t know what the fuck a Snooki is and that I read all the comments, including Barbara W.‘s excerpt, before I wasted any time trying to find out.
I weakened and looked this female up, since I hadn’t a clue who or what she was. Clearly she is an Essex Girl.
Why is she wearing a circa 1961 beehive hairstyle (if that’s her on the cover of the book)? Don’t tell me that beehives are back in the US! If one is going to revive a 50-year-old fashion, why not choose a more attractive one?
🙂
@AgTigress – I’ve seen the programme she appears in – (Oh the pain !)…..& actually, she makes Essex girls look like Penelope Keith !
Wow! The mind really does boggle!
😀
Darlene I’m with you. Is it just me or is anyone else in the U.S. tired of celebrating the lowest common denominators in the country? If we started not giving attention -good or bad- to these people, do you think they’d go away? Yeah, yeah, they’re poster children for what you don’t want to be, but as long as they’re making more money than someone who cleans toilets, others are going to emulate them. At some point one hopes they’ll notice that they’re being laughed AT not WITH & slink back to the low class hole they crawled out of. I hope SB Sarah got this book as a freebie, cause the thought of putting more money in that vacuous bimbo’s pocket is nauseating.
I think the most surprising thing about Snooki having a book is the knowledge that Snooki is literate. Then again, we don’t know that she wrote the book—plenty of ghost writers out there—so perhaps DiscoDollyDeb is 100% correct about this one.
I think Snooki and her Jersey Shore ilk make the people of New Jersey long for the days when people associated the state with The Sopranos. Tony Soprano may have been a killer, a thief, and an adulterer, but he wasn’t a total moron.
And, was actually Italian instead of just referring to himself by a derogatory term used refer to Italians.
Let me just say, this distracted me so well from my homework, I completely forgot what I was even doing before I stumbled upon the comedic gold.
I don’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did today. SBSarah is a genius for putting this together and omigosh, Barbara, Jilli, Carrie S, Sierra, and company had me in tears. Y’all are some funny gals!
When I saw this at B&N yesterday I assumed that it was some stupid biography or memoir of this girl, so when I realized that it was actually a novel, I was surprised to say the least. And annoyed. What is it with celebrities these days pretending to be authors? Lauren Conrad, Hilary Duff, and now there’s this chick.
I opened up to the first page, and right away, it was clear that this book was 100% written by someone else. I went to the acknowledgements page, and sure enough, the last sentence was Snooki thanking her collaborator, Valerie Frankel, for helping her “put her ideas down on paper.”
I found an interview in which Frankel says that she never even met Snooki and that they basically only talked on the phone with Snooki throwing out ideas. It’s pretty obvious that the actual writer is someone else.
The only reason I’m saying any of this (which I’m sure everyone else is aware of) is that people tend to forget that celebrity “authors” are never actually the writers responsible for their books. The storyline of this novel sounds pretty stupid, but there IS a chance that it isn’t as terribly written as we’d expect.
Well as an ex-Essex girl I consider myself far above the Snooki one LOL
Oh please, please, please tell me there’s a way to save the live blog/transcript/whatever-you-call-it of everybody’s comments on the “book.” This is simply epic! Oh wait, I need more exclamation points. Epic!!!!! This is the way to start off the new year, laughing ‘til it hurts.
I had way too much fun reading all the comments! I don’t think I’ll be able to wake up early enough for part two though. ):
I’m very hurt. I live in New Jersey and my husband is a photographer of the NJ shore (not the TV show). We go to Seaside Heights all the time. (My husband is a guido.) I met Snooki, and she is the most down to earth, civilized, intelligent girl you’d ever want to meet. I can’t believe you’re making fun of her book. I don’t know what you girls get out of this sort of thing, but it’s very hurtful the way you go after authors.
Okay, actually, my husband and I got caught in an awful traffic jam going to a nearby seaside town one evening for him to take sunset shots. We were really scratching our heads, because the people we saw were…erm… in sleeveless Ts, hairless and tan (the boys) and well, God knows what the hell the girls had on. But there were actually Snooki lookalikes. It was a migration to Seaside Heights because the cast was going to be there. It was my own personal nightmare come alive. It put me back on the nerve meds.
@ Natasha: SBSarah has dashed our hopes for that chance with three short, monosyllabic words:
“KOHL black heart.”
My impression is that contributors here are responding to this young woman’s public persona, rather than to her actual character (which, by definition, they do not know) or her book (which most of those commenting have not yet read).
It is a truism that the ‘private’ characters of persons who are in the public eye may differ considerably from the image they project in the news and entertainment media. However, they do choose and nurture their public image, and often employ experts to refine it. If a person wishes to be regarded as a ‘down to earth, civilized, intelligent girl’, there is surely nothing on earth to prevent her from projecting that image. If, instead, she comes over as a shallow, vulgar airhead, then she can hardly blame her public from accepting that as her character. That is the character that she has created and honed for public consumption.
Darn I completely missed the second half of this. I’ll have to go back and read rest of the comments and see if any Lovecraft monsters did show up.
Thanks for braving that book, Sarah!
Well, that was excellent. Kind of like having someone else eat bad Chinese food for me so I don’t have to do it myself but can relish the experience. And be hungry again almost right away. SBS is great – good job., Sarah. All the comments along the way really added. This was a win. The experience, not the book.
To summarize this book, I’d say, it gets a A- for enjoyment (mostly because of the bonerdeath attack on the potential HEAs for the heroines), and if I had to describe it, I’d say it was a cross between Jackie Collins and Beavis & Butthead, and for all that, strangely enjoyable. I may inflict copies upon other people. It is the solid personification of cray-cray.
I can’t believe I had this much fun… I’m still a little shocked at myself for all that ROFLing arround in my room, making my mum pop her head and ask if I was ok… I don’t think I am, now that I think about it, I think i’ll need theraphy all this WTFckery wears off.. Thank you!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU SB SARAH for daring all the gorillas, sharks, body fluids and covert lovecraftian worshipers and making these two afternoons (at least for me) so much more enjoyable!!
There were Elder Gods. There were Aliens. The Marvel Universe made an appearence. You were missed, April!
:snif:
Life intruded and I had to miss 99.99% of part 2. I’ll never know if Gia ended up with Crispy Dick or Frankie the Firefighter or if some new Juicehead Gorilla swept her away. Did Tony (of the Downy Softness) or Edward The Sweater Guy end up boning Bella? Did Cougar Tanning Mama go back to her douchey ex? Did she in fact turn out to be Bender’s mom? Did Gia ever get the smell of pee off of her leg and did the shark ever come back and thank her? I have so many unanswered questions, my head is spinning. Or it may just be the imagined Aquanet fumes.
The one overriding question I have to know, though:
What does fresh gorilla taste like??
captcha95 – because I suspect that 95% of Snooki’s brain cells have never been used.
Ciar, you…scared me. I hope you’re happy now. ;-P Put that second paragraph in bold, will you.
You are my HERO.
i LOVE Taylor hame and now I can’t stop thinking of it; it isn’t available here in MN
@ Carrie S – ARGH! All of my favorite things! 🙁 Next time I will be there no matter what.
Although that means Snooki would have to write another book… I can’t decide how I feel about that. I have a feeling I’m going to end up reading A Shore Thing on my own and then re-reading all the comments again.
I see I’m not the only one who had this idea, even though I’m doing it via Twitter! So far… this isn’t that bad as far as entertainment goes. I keep saying this, but I’m almost convinced that this is just a parody of Jersey Shore stereotypes & old beach movies.