I got this PowerPoint presentation in teh email today, and had to share. Because if it’s Friday, and it’s Smart Bitches, there must be kilts.
Kilt Power! (right click and download, Bitches!)
Enjoy!
EDITED TO ADD:
I OWE YOU ALL CHOCOLATE because I neglected to mention that this is OMG-SRSLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
No, really, NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
Geez. I feel like a tool. I’m sorry ya’ll!
Words fail me – one slide in particular. You’ll all know which one I mean…
Off to share this one with the world now!
That guy was clearly a shape shifter, ya’ll. Or somebody else from an LKH novel.
All I can say is that’s some caber that boy is sporting . . . sure hope he’s a shower not a grower. LOL!
*blink*
I think we found Ben from Ben’s Wildflower.
Holy Jesus. I sure hope he’s not allergic to grass.
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Or Gray Ruillard (sp?) from Linda Howard’s “After the Night.”
Relax, baby. You can take it. Just relax.
Seriously. You nailed that one.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought “holy shit” when I saw that one. Now I know what all those cocks in romance novels look like… Actually, I think I was happier not knowing.
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Well, I’m obviously a product of my own sadly limited experience, but MY romance novel cocks are circumcised. The monster on that guy would get some raised eyebrows out of me for a couple of reasons, were I ever to meet up with it in person. Seriously…it’s possible I might require instructions.
I’m very glad you added that NSFW designation. Will peruse when I get home…
Damn it! Even warned I looked. *shakes fist and cries* I shouldn’t have. I really, really shouldn’t have. Is it too late to bury my head in the sand?
But that slide of the kids was kinda cute…like “Holy, hell. That’s what we have to look forward to? Noooooo!” Then he waves over friend, and friend looks up and has the same reaction.
Absolutely.
I’m sorry, but uncircumscribed penises remind me of those tube worms in hydrothermal vents. I expect some alien to emerge from them.
ROFLMAO! Excuse me while I wipe orange juice off of my keyboard.
Well, I’m obviously a product of my own sadly limited experience, but MY romance novel cocks are circumcised.
Not mine (experience or books!). In fact, I just got a fan letter thanking me for being historically accurate enough to have a foreskin on my hero. LOL!
But that guy in the kilt really does look like the old joke about a baby’s arm . . .
Well, sheeet! Here I am working on my old clunker PC that has no Powerpoint cause I had to uninstall it to make room on my C: drive.
Damn!! And I soooo want to see that Cockzilla under the kilt!
You know, I’m 50 years old but STILL find penises endlessly fascinating!
BevL(QB) <—Pervy Old Broad
Damn!
Thank you….
And well,
damn…. 🙂
Speaking of tools…
You’ve got to love the smile on the face of the guy sitting next to the Queen.
didnt72 – Actually, I think he probably did know.
“I think we found Ben from Ben’s Wildflower”
You said it, Charlene!
“Cockzilla” – ROFLMAO!!! Wonder what *he* calls it? For surely something that size rates its own name??
See29 is my security word – how appropriate!
By the way, ever since I looked at that slideshow I’ve had the song The Drunken Scotsman in my head:
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he’d drunk more than his share
He fumbled ‘round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
[
Refrain:
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
He stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
[
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
“See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong a handsome built?
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt.”
[
Refrain:
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt
[
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
[
Refrain:
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
[
They marveled for a moment, then one said “We must be gone.
Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along”
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot’s kilt did lift and show
[
Refrain:
Ring-ding didle iidle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Around the bonnie star the scot’s kilt did lift and show
[
Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what’s before his eyes,
“Lad, I don’t know where ya been, but I see you’ve won first prize”
[
Refrain:
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Lad, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I see you’ve won first prize.
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(Larger89 is my security word!!)
*blinking rapidly*
Oh my.
I mean, that’s just…
Holy shit.
Wow. Thanks for sharing.
Cockzilla is right.
I’m glad I’m not the only one picking my eyeballs off the floor.
I seriously thought somebody had photoshopped it.
Sherry
I’m not sure if I’m in love, or if I’ve suddenly decided I can no longer fantasize about Scotsmen…
…no, not giving up the Scots, I’m in love (although i’m never going to have sex with it)
PS—my gag reflex just kicked in…
. . . interesting, to say the least.
I can’t decide whether to stare more or claw my eyeballs out.
Kalen, damn it. What’s the joke?
-Victoria, who just got done eating a banana pop and thinking about her own Scotsman
Relax, baby. You can take it. Just relax.
Oh, my God, I haven’t laughed that long in a while. “Just breathe through the contraction. . . I mean the sex.”
that guy in the kilt really does look like the old joke about a baby’s arm . . .
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Kalen, damn it. What’s the joke?
Isn’t there a scene in The Lady’s Tutor where Ramiel compares a dildo to a baby’s arm? I never thought having a baby’s arm stuck up you was a sexy image, but perhaps I’m not seeing the, er, big picture.
uncircumscribed penises remind me of those tube worms in hydrothermal vents
Oh so true. And so appropriate. Thermal vents… source of life… phallic tubeworms…. Biology in action…. “That’s hawt”
See, that’s why the Creation Museum isn’t convincing. That weak-ass diorama didn’t even show Adam’s phallic underwater tubeworm of generation. Naooo. We’re supposed to believe Adam didn’t grow a tubeworm until Eve done him wrong with Mr Snake?
Considering the shape similarity, maybe that was the punishment for Eve. She’s reminded of that damn snake every time Adam wants to get it on…
I just hope for her sake it didn’t look anything like that Scotsmen. Although, I think that we can definitively answer the question of “can it be TOO big?” OMG, yes. There are bulls that must envy him.
O jubilatum snortum! Jepad, I just noticed what you actually wrote:
Reminds me of that old World History According to Student Bloopers in which Sir Francis Drake “circumcised the globe with a 100-foot clipper”.
I must be the only woman on this blog that thinks there’s something seriously hideous about the appearance of a circumcised penis. *shrug* They creep me out. It’s like when someone is missing the tip of their finger. It’s just oddly wrong . . . plus, the whole ones are fun in ways the chopped up ones can never be. *grin* And if you’ve never see Puppetry of the Penis, you’ve not really grasped all the uses of a foreskin. LOL!
I don’t know if it’s an actual joke, as in something with a punch line, but the classic way men would brag about size was to say their dick was like baby’s arm holding an apple. *ick* I’ve heard this and seen it in writing too often to think that it’s just men I know who are this disturbing.
I think he might take the size matters thing a little too far…
They’re weird looking either way. So are women. It’s like looking at internal organs: “Surely that doesn’t belong on the outside!” A constant reminder that we aren’t “finished”….
OH, CRAP. That was my bad…
And I’ve read that book. I even remember the pic of Magellan (I thought it was Magellan) on that nail clipper.
Excuse me, I have to go hang myself in mortal embarrassment for that snafu. Or maybe I should just prostate myself at the Typo Altar.
Although, with that penis, circumscribing it would be a trek…
No, no, no, iffygenia. You’re getting it all wrong. We were designed this way. We’re perfect. Am I going to have to send you back to the Creation Museum? 😉
Well, Kalen, I hope when my son comes of age, he can meet a woman like you 🙂 Because he’s quite unsnipped! Of course, he’s only 4 months right now, so he’s got some time…
Of course, if his boy bits end up that big, he’s got… um… bigger problems…
Sallyacious, the photo with the Queen is my favorite, too. That dude TOTALLY knew what he was doing – Check out the way he’s primly holding the hem of his kilt, compared with the laps of all the other bekilted Scots. A once-in-a-lifetime chance and he seized it!
No, no, no, iffygenia. You’re getting it all wrong. We were designed this way. We’re perfect. Am I going to have to send you back to the Creation Museum?
No Mommy, I’ll be good. Just spank me and take me to bed.
But Mommy? If we’re designed in Dog’s image, does that mean Dog has a big ugly wiener?
Mommy? Where’s MY wiener?
Holy crap! That guy is a bruiser—in more ways than one!
As for the last guy—yeah, it’s a good dirty joke, but if I was him I wouldn’t be so proud. Not impressive, that one. Awfully skinny, don’t you think?
So that’s where the Loch Ness Monster’s been hiding. Mystery solved.
Count me in the uncircumsized brigade! I like my penii unclipped. I still haven’t seen the slideshow, I’m a bit frightened…