Bitchin' Blog Posts
: Help a Bitch Out
January 31, 2012 | Tuesday at 6:22 pm | 9 Comments
This request is from Cathy, who remembers so much crazy from this book, it's just amazing.
I'm looking from the first romance I ever read, which I'm pretty sure I
stole off my older sister. It was a category M&B (I remember it was a skinny
book) and the more I think about the plot the more I realise how WTF batshit
crazy it was.
Now I don't remember any names, but I reckon publication date would have
been 1978-1983 ish.
So without further ado, here's the crazy I remember...
Our heroine is a young stage actress about to break into the big time when
she suffers a terrible accident (or maybe the attack of a vicious rival?)
that leaves her with horribly disfiguring scars all down one side of her
face.
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January 31, 2012 | Tuesday at 3:36 pm | 8 Comments
This request comes from Keisha, who has been hunting for this book for a long time:
I'm waxing nostalgic about a romance novel published before 2007 that I read
in high school and I hope you can help me. I haven't been able to find this
particular novel on Amazon. I found one that I thought was the right book
but it turned out to be a dud, a poorly written dud. I can remember some key
plot points of the book but cannot remember the hero's name, the author's
name, or the title of the book itself. Oddly enough, I do know that the
cover involves a misty forest scene in shades of purple or blue.
The heroine is named Angela (or some variation of "angel") and the story
plays up the whole Devil & Angel, Beauty and the Beast, Phantom of the Opera
quality.
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January 31, 2012 | Tuesday at 12:33 pm | 22 Comments
This Help a Bitch Out request comes from Megan, who describes a book I would swear was erotica, but she says is not:
Hero had long hair. He may have been sent from an alternative dimension.
Turns up on the heroine’s doorstep searching for some sort of artefact. He
loved the taste of coffee. There was a fight in a car park when he kicked
the pants of some bikers who were giving him rubbish about his hair.
He wore an anklet with bells. They (the hero and heroine) ended up travelling to
search for some holy grail type artefact. This was definitely romance and
not erotica, it may have even been a Harlequin which doesn’t seems very
likely but stranger things have happened.
Long hair and bells. Seriously, someone has to remember this book. Anyone?
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January 31, 2012 | Tuesday at 6:16 am | 14 Comments
Cleo is looking for a book that was truly memorable for her, for a number of reasons, including the context in which she read it. Honestly, this book sounds fascinating.
I have an HaBo. I read this book in the late ‘80s, during my freshman year at college, and of course I don't remember any names or titles. I borrowed it from one of my roommates, who borrowed it from someone down the hall, who borrowed it from someone else in the dorm. I’m looking for it because I think it was ahead of its time - the heroine had several lovers and no dire consequences. She didn’t die, or get raped, or shamed, or shunned. I’m sure you’re imagining the earnest conversations we budding feminists and young liberal arts scholars had about the ramifications of this radical plot, but no. Pretty sure everyone read it for the same reason I did – the sex. And I’m only pretty sure, not absolutely sure, because I barely talked about it with my roommate and I was WAY too embarrassed to talk about the sex in it. Or the social ramifications thereof.
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January 31, 2012 | Tuesday at 3:11 am | 12 Comments
Lillie is looking for this book, which she has been trying to find for awhile.
I need your help! I've been searching for a book for a few months and I'm coming up empty.
It's an older Harlequin or Silhouette, and I believe it was published in the 90s. It's a Christmas reunion story. The hero is a cop (last name may be Knight?), very ba-humbug and a neat freak. The heroine loves Christmas, is a free-spirit and her name has something to do with the holiday. I think it might actually be Christmas, nicknamed Chrissy. Heroine saw her boss commit a crime, went to the police, and met the hero. They hooked up during the trial, then she disappeared.
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January 31, 2012 | Tuesday at 12:03 am | 10 Comments
It's HaBO-Thon time! HaBO stands for "Help a Bitch Out," and is a segment wherein folks write in looking for books that they cannot find, usually becuase they remember many details about the plot, but not the title or author. This is, by the way, how I remember most books.
Our first request comes from GoldenDarter:
After the latest round of HaBOs, and another fruitless internet search, I have decided to ask the Bitchery if they might know of this book... I read it several years ago, in the infancy of my romance obsession, but I have no idea when it was actually released.
I believe it is a historical, and if I had to guess I would say it is set in England (really, where else could it be?). I am certain he is a lord of some kind or at least obscenely rich (could he be anything else?). There is really only once particular scene I remember, and it bothers me to not remember the whole story behind it. It takes place near the end of the book and the H/H have been sleeping together for a while, though I have no idea if they…
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January 21, 2012 | Saturday at 6:39 am | 27 Comments
Lisa's email about the book she's seeking made me snort laugh.
I'm trying to find the first romance novel I ever read. I liked it
enough that I kept reading romances, but I think it was probably much
worse than I thought. I want to reread it...but I can't find it!
It's been bothering me for ages now. Please, can the bitchery help?
The heroine is an orphan/thief in historical London. She dreams of a
better life and spends her time practicing a refined accent and making
hats. She also has a brother.
The hero is rich, but he works - a lawyer maybe, or a doctor? His
best friend is a layabout who is waiting on his aunt to cough up her
inheritance.
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January 21, 2012 | Saturday at 3:36 am | 7 Comments
Marisa has the same problem I do: she remembers a ton of details, but not the names of the characters or the title of the book:
I am looking for a book I got from the library forever ago and can't find.
Of course, I can't remember the title or the character names, but I can
remember some other details.
It's historical and in England, but I'm not sure when. It starts off with
the hero at the church after a failed marriage attempt. (The girl was in
love with someone else, so he let her out of the engagement, much to the
annoyance of her family.) He has been trying to secure a wife for a while
now. The heroine comes in and offers herself for marriage, citing some
reasonable argument for why he should accept even though he doesn't know her
(dowry?). He accepts, they get married and go off to live in his big house
(he has some kind of title). I remember she has this little dog that she
takes nearly everywhere.
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January 21, 2012 | Saturday at 12:24 am | 23 Comments
Ilex emailed me a HaBO query in the form of an IM conversation she had with a friend about this book. It's hilarious.
I was wondering if HaBO could, well, HaBO. I'm your pretty standard,
used-to-sneak-my-mom's-harlequins-during-highschool-algebra type.
Unfortunately, my mom can't remember this particular gem, and I (and now my
friend below) would kill to find this cracktastic romance now. (Okay, maybe
we'd just kill bugs, but still...) It's taken me so long to get around to
emailing you on this matter, however, that I've decided to just c/p our
conversation for simplicity's sake. We had been discussing the re-issue of
Nora Roberts' backlist when the topic came up...
<<me>>
hey you might know
<<friend>>
dude 1986!!!!
<<me>>
there was this book i read of my mom's
and i think it was one of the gold-framed covered - maybe the later
silhouettes or something
but it was about this executive ceo type and his assistant
and he's the stereotypical cold bastard
but they go to some kind of executive shindig and he gets drunk and she has
to get…
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January 14, 2012 | Saturday at 10:58 am | 13 Comments
Rebecca has a few memories of a book, and she's hoping they will ring a bell for someone who remembers this book.
I have so little to go on for this HaBo, but for some reason, I cannot
forget this book entirely, so I must re-read it to figure out why. Here is
what I remember:
It is a historical set in England. Not sure what period, but it is
post-Renaissance. The heroine is plump - not just a little thick, but round
and bouncy. I think she's blonde and has curls, but I'm not certain. She has
an issue with the hero involving her father's (or late husband's) estate.
Either he holds title to the land or works for/with the bank that does. She
is not a woman of means, so the land is the only thing that she'd have to
keep herself afloat.
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January 07, 2012 | Saturday at 12:13 am | 11 Comments
This request comes from Kinsey Holley, who is begging for help. BEGGING I tell you.
It's a Regency (maybe Georgian, but 19th cent. England) and the hero is a rakish Earl with a penchant for opera dancers and the heroine is a rather plain - not unattractive, just not pretty - young lass whose father is a dissolute gambler who basically wagers her with the hero and loses, and the hero finds himself with all the father's worldly goods AND his daughter to boot.
I specifically remember a phrase that pops up all through the book - "diamond of the first water." The heroine mentions several times that her mother was a diamond of the first water - i.e., gorgeous - but she knows that she's not.
I can even recall (I think) the hero's title - Earl of St. Ives. Given name, Nicholas. You'd think I could find that with Google, right? Nope. When I Google it I get two results - St. Ives, the skin products company, and.....a comment I left in a SBTB review back in 2009.
Pllleassee?
And if it turns out that this is an easy peasy one…
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January 05, 2012 | Thursday at 9:22 am | 17 Comments
Dark Puck is looking for a historical paranormal that sounds really interesting!
I'm trying to remember the title of a romance novel I read.
It was set during the Regency period, like most of the romances I read. The
heroine, I believe, was a widow with a young son; the hero was an It's
Complicated with a daughter.
The Complicated part came in whereupon his wife was a fairy. On the birth of
the daughter, she was forced to return to her own realm. Since then she has
been scheming for her daughter to take her place, so she can resume her
whatevers in the mortal world. I don't remember what it was.
There may or may not have been a dog, but the widow was mentioned to have
once been at the height of fashion, and still wearing those same clothes
some few years since they had gone out of fashion. I think there may also
have been a tower tour. And the widow could see the magic stuff? Or sense
it, or something.
That's a…
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January 05, 2012 | Thursday at 6:45 am | 9 Comments
Vixenbib is looking for a book that's been plaguing her for awhile:
I'm looking for a Harlequin/Silhouette? contemporary romance which I read at least ten years ago but the book was second-hand and could've been at least a couple of years old when I picked it up. The book is one of a series.
The hero (some kind of special-ops government agent, possibly named Dan or Sam or Tom - or maybe not) spends most (if not all) of the book confined to a wheelchair, as the result of an injury sustained in an undercover special-op-gone-wrong, in the first chapter or possibly even the prologue.
Our hero is, I think, the agency?/bureau? chief, and he's desperately in love with a female colleague. The bullet which disables him comes just at the point where she and he are tentatively declaring their (previously suppressed in at least one earlier novel) feelings for each other. The rest of the team know that he and the heroine are in love and have been waiting for them to get their act together. Dan/Sam/Tom and the heroine declare themselves and share their first kiss on a tense…
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January 05, 2012 | Thursday at 3:41 am | 8 Comments
Kathleen is looking for this book, and she remembers a LOT about it - except the title. Good thing we're here!
I am trying to find a book that I recall quite a lot of detail about except
of course that elusive title, author, and the name of the heroine.
It was published I believe sometime in the years between 2000 and 2010, and
it is a Western.
It begins back East where the hero (Jason may be his name) is visiting the
home of rich man for a business dinner. He is encouraged to go for a walk in
the garden. When he spots the daughter of his host, he thinks that it is a
setup for him to meet the girl. However, the girl is reading without her
shoes on and doesn’t at first notice the hero when he walks up. She is
quite embarrassed to be found shoeless, but she and the hero talk for a bit.
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January 05, 2012 | Thursday at 2:33 am | 15 Comments
Jessica writes in looking for two books she lost:
I'm looking for two books, both Harlequins. A bit of backstory: I grew up in
a duplex my parents owned, and they rented out an apartment behind our
house. We had the tenants from hell in 1995 (to give you an idea, they
played dance music at all hours of the night and tried to sell the
appliances to pay the back rent), and when my mom was finally able to evict
them they left behind stacks and stacks of 1980s Harlequin romances. They
were everywhere: Small piles in every corner of the apartment, behind the
toilet, in the oven, on every shelf in the kitchen cupboards. We're still
puzzled over why they left them; while my mom isn't big on romance, she
doesn't hate Fabio or anything.
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