We know things are terrible right now. and it’s hard to watch the news or be on social media without feeling an overwhelming sense of helplessness. If you want to help the communities in need of assistance after Hurricane Harvey, Redheadedgirl compiled a list of organizations. But if you also want to just take a break with some silliness, we’re here for that too. Be safe, Bitchery, and remember that you’re always welcome here!
Amanda: That dragon is totally checking out his pecs, right?
Redheadedgirl: And the dragon likes what s/he sees.
Sarah: I hope the dragon is named Vale and that it’s a very happy ending for all involved.
Carrie: That dude seems to have a serious skin infection going on in the rib region.
Elyse: I like that his bow has one of those golf club covers
Sarah: Hats for bats. Keep bats warm. Also bows.
Maybe that’s what Vale is looking at. “That looks edible. Like an appetizer. He is the entree.”
Redheadedgirl: “I don’t even have to open the can for this one!”
Sarah: “And I’ll be able to floss when I’m done!”
From Liz: I just wanted to share pretty much my favorite romance cover ever. If you look at it, they totally photoshopped a guitar out, and photoshopped babies in. It’s so good!
Amanda: He’s holden that baby.
I’m sorry. That pun was terrible and I’ll see myself out.
But also…is that floor baby trying to escape?
Liz: “I wonder what chord he’s trying to play in that poor baby’s ear? LOL”
Sarah: The floor baby is Holden. He’s Holden out for a hero, hence his worried expression. “This guy is playing bass on my sister’s head. You really think he’s the think he’s the hero we’re looking for, here?”
Amanda: How is one just a little bit pregnant?
Carrie: Something has gone horribly wrong with the back half of her body. As in, it’s missing. Is this a horror book?
Also – dude. Consent is a thing. That you don’t have.
Elyse: I wonder if they share the same tube of hair gel.
Sarah: You know that bear has seen things.
Amanda: Is Steve a ghost?
Sarah: Maybe he’s a daguerreotype. Who doesn’t play by the rules.
If he is a ghost, and your circle of friends are in a circle, and there’s some salt on the ground, maybe some fire or cloaks in the vicinity, time to get new friends who play by other rules, I’m thinking.
The teddy looks like it’s finding life unbearable…..
I’ll see myself out.
Re: Bleached Steve & his Circle of friends.
(1) Wasn’t that creepy death cult in “The Returned”/ Les Revenants called “the circle”?
(2) Hasn’t anyone heard of Anne Hamilton-Byrne’s cult, with the kids bleached blonde to be her Mini-Mes?
Design department better get on this one before the case is highlighted in a true crime podcast.
I wish I could read what cavedude’s tattoo says over his left nipple, in the language of his people. *looks up book and zooms in* Welp, that’s even less legible with a look at the loopy font, but just above it is a rectangular, slightly blurred area that appears to say “Love” — or perhaps “Loove,” which would explain the primitive tat removal. Hold on, cavedude! In the future, effective removal of regrettable ink will be as easy to come by as the hair gel, body wax, and manscape tweezers you already enjoy.
omg that horrified teddy bear looks like MY teddy bear! he is clearly wondering how he can get out of the way before he is used as as a back pillow for sexytimes.
The little bit pregnant lady looks like she’s not happy either. She should take her bear and get out.
Re A Little Bit Pregnant
I read this.
*A little bit = unstable. Like placed on bedrest unstable.
*I don’t recall any grabby scene, had more the opposite impression. Lifting maybe, on doctor’s orders.
*She’s mixed race, hence the hair. (He’s just had his hair mussed, it’s straight at the back.)
* I can’t say “there’s a bear in there” in the story. But I reckon modelling for Harlequin covers would be a Dorothy-in-Oz situation: “We’re not in Play School anymore”…
If the dragon is not on his side, that guy is way too inattentive to survive the book.
Baby rustlers of the old west?
That teddy bear looks like it really wants to snap “get a room” at them.
Hate to break it to you Steve, “do not bleach” isn’t really a “rule” you need to rebel against.
Crying.
Thank you. I needed this.
DYING!!!! OMG, I love this feature, but this week you guys have me laughing out loud. I even scared my dogs. And that guitar thing? WTH?
I do admit to a certain fear that one of my books will show up here someday, but since I don’t design them, I won’t have to take the blame. Is that wrong?
Thanks for the giggles, all!
“He’s holden that baby.” *tears*
THANK YOU!!! I’m trying not to chortle at my desk. 😀
What the heck is wrong with floor baby’s toes? Does it have fingers instead? If the photoshopped a guitar out, could they at least have made the foot look like a foot?? #ScarredForLife
I have spent too much time thinking about the Holden cover. My friend’s daughter must be the barn manager there. Wherever she works, the stables have the cleanest floors and no cobwebs. So, is the cowboy guitarist going to juggle the babies if he needs to get them the hell out of Dodge? The logistics of picking them up and carrying them hurts my brain. And I am also concerned about the length of Floor Baby’s Toes.
“…they totally photoshopped a guitar out, and photoshopped babies in.” AHHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
Also, “Maybe he’s a daguerreotype. Who doesn’t play by the rules.”
Y’all made my day.
It appears to me that the baby in pink is floating away (the baby’s butt looks to be a couple of inches above his leg), so the cowboy is holding down floor baby to keep him from floating away, too. Maybe they’re not real babies – they’re baby helium balloons! This may also explain the situation with floor baby’s foot.
Does the model on the Holden cover look a little like Nick Lachey to anyone else?
“Maybe he’s a daguerreotype. Who doesn’t play by the rules.”
Done. I have been laughing at that for about four minutes.
The Battle for Vale: the dragon is gazing at his self-portrait rendered as a tattoo on the Gerber baby’s head
Holden: What is that peculiar grip he has on Pink Baby’s head? Does anyone else think Blue Baby has six fingers on the right hand?
Just a Little Bit Pregnant: Is that a thing? ‘Cause I was always told it wasn’t.
Is Steve a vampire? The kind that glows in the sunlight?
@Ren Benton says:I wish I could read what cavedude’s tattoo says over his left nipple, I don’t think those are words. I think those are dragon teeth in his tattoo.
@Darynda Jones says:I do admit to a certain fear that one of my books will show up here someday, but since I don’t design them, I won’t have to take the blame. Is that wrong? #1) I’m a fan. #2) If authors have approval of the covers, then you are fair game
Where’s a guitarist when you need one? I bet you could totally figure it out from the configuration of his left hand.
Now, if only I were skilled enough at reverse-photoshopping that I could find the original, minus-babies, plus-guitar picture. I’m not even sure about the exact angle of his right arm (the part that was bent downward to fit in Floor Baby).
My husband plays guitar as a hobby.
Me: I have a visual guitar question for you.
Him: A visual guitar?
Me: (sigh) Look at this picture. What chord is he playing?
(He gets out his guitar and starts experimenting.)
Him: B flat augmented?
Me: But see, you have these two fingers reversed.
(Several minutes of contortions and comparisons with the picture.)
Him: Ow. (shakes cramps out of his hand) Call it an A flat demented. I’m going to bed.
The model from Just a Little Bit Pregnant is wearing a historicals type big sleeve shirt. I imagine he just switched from breeches to jean after doing the Just a Little Bit of Duke cover shoot. Or maybe it’s a Seinfeld puffy shirt.
@Dani: I thought the cowboy was Scott Foley!
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