One day in the summer of 1989, two people went on a first date.

I mean, a lot of people did that summer, I’m sure. But these two people – a lawyer and a summer associate (read: law student working as grunt labor for a summer) would grow up to be the President and First Lady of the United States. But in 1989 they were just Michelle and Barack, and they were still trying to figure out who they were and how they fit into the world.

This is a fictionalized version of that day, written and direction by Richard Tanne. There’s very little tension here – we know how this story goes (spoiler: they are still disgustingly in love with each other, and a prime example of “I love you and I like you”). But we romance readers know what it’s like when the ending is a given. The joy is in the journey, and seeing two people figure out that this is the person they hate less than all the others.

It starts off with a lie – Michelle has turned Barack down a few times (not matter how cute he is: “You think I’m cute?”) and he gets her to agree to go to a community meeting with him. But he picks her up hours before the meeting, thinking maybe they could go see an exhibit of Afrocentric art and get food beforehand. Then they go to the meeting, catch a showing of Do The Right Thing, and get ice cream.

While they do all of this, they discuss their families, and how their upbringing made them the young adults they are, including Michelle’s father’s determination to give his children the education he couldn’t afford, and Barack’s complicated feelings about his father. They debate, and challenge each other in a way that only soulmates or destined archenemies can do. We get a master class in how Barack, community organizer, got shit done (and how to work the system to get what you want out of it). And we get Michelle explaining how her position as one of the few black women in the law firm makes her career and position more of a balancing act than it is for everyone else.

This whole movie rides on the actor’s performances of two people who we know REALLY well. We know Barack’s speech cadences – especially when he’s speechifying, but also when he’s just talking. We know Michelle’s a little less – she doesn’t enjoy the spotlight (but damn does she shine when she’s in it). But we know the public version of these people, and through this film, we learn how their relationship started in a janky car with Spike Lee.

Parker Sawyers does a good job of making his performance into an interpretation of a young Barack Obama, rather than an impression.  He looks right. He nails the vaguely unfocused  “I want to make the world better but I don’t know HOW yet” young cocky dude who is completely smitten with this woman who is possibly out of his league but also his equal in every way.

I think Tika Sumpter has the harder role – she has to balance the “I think this guy is cute and also he’s super smart” with “I don’t want to encourage this because of reasons.” Sumpter clearly had a good handle on why Michelle is who she is. Motivation is so important in both acting and writing, and when the actor understands the motivation, the performance is a billion times better.  There’s a specific moment near the end where Michelle has a facial twitch that conveys so much that was just brilliant.

It was also interesting to note the use of language – Barack, growing up in Hawaii and in Jakarta with his mother and maternal grandparents, wasn’t exposed to African American Vernacular English, and Michelle doesn’t use it either, at least not with him. At the community meeting, both she and Barack still don’t use AAVE, while the rest of the Black attendees do. I am interested in the discussions around these choices, and fascinated by the way people communicate and how that changes with context and company.

I think I have to address the, “You keep saying this is a date and it’s not and you sort of tricked me into going on this date” elephant in the room. Yes, she calls him out directly on it. Yes, he eventually agrees that it’s not a date until she says it is, buuuuut it made me vaguely uncomfortable. (That said, the movie starts with Michelle getting ready to go, and her parents are like “So, this is a date” and she’s like, “It’s not a date” and they’re like, “You’re making a significant effort for this not-a-date.”)

Mostly, though, I was charmed and delighted to see these two people (who quite frankly are Relationship Goals for me) have a chance to talk and poke and prod and antagonize and challenge each other and discover that this is the person who will help them both become the Best Version Of Themselves.

I am going to miss these two, so very much.

(This is my favorite picture of them, from the 2009 Inaugural Ball.)

Southside With You is in theaters now and you can find tickets (US) at Fandango and Moviefone.