This book is ludicrous and not in a fun way.

Before I let my rant get away with me, the blurb:

Eoin Aucourte, the newly minted Duke of Foxglen, always played by his grandfather’s rules. But now that the old man is dead, Eoin’s first decision is to track down his long-lost mother. The only problem? He’ll have to visit the infamous Black Sheep Coffeehouse to begin his search. Rumor has it that the owner, Miss Hannah Wick, knows all the gossip from the dingiest St. Giles alleyways to the glittering ballrooms of Mayfair. But the whip-smart daughter of a pirate also has a way of making Eoin forget all the lessons on propriety that his grandfather ruthlessly instilled in him.

The Duke of Foxglen represents everything Hannah disdains about the nobility. Even worse, his grandfather exiled her papa from England, setting her father on the course of piracy and endangering her entire family. Seeing an opportunity to seek vengeance on his family, Hannah pretends to “help” the shy, surprisingly handsome duke—but soon realizes Eoin may be the first truly honorable noble she’s ever met.

With every clue they uncover, their search intensifies … and so does their attraction. But with so many secrets between them, does love even stand a chance?

I was already on the back foot when I started this book because I haven’t read the others in this series. Usually with historical romance, that’s no big deal. In this case, it’s quite a big deal. I reached 66% and I still didn’t understand the back story and how all these characters connected to one another.

So yes, that made me grumpy. Fine, I admit it.

As stated in the cover copy, yes, Hannah is a pirate’s daughter and co-owns a coffee house. She has a vendetta against the Aucourte family because they impoverished her father and grandfather through the enclosures of the 18th century. So when Eoin shows up asking for help tracking down his mother, Hannah sees a chance for retribution and agrees to help him in order to better facilitate her revenge.

I realise this is a common plot structure.

I’ve read books that do it well.

I’ve read books that mess it up.

This one was downright painful. Hannah wrings her hands and frets and feels guilty constantly from around 40% in. Yet she doesn’t speak up about any of it. It’s beyond tiresome. It’s particularly tiresome because it is clear from Eoin’s behaviour that he would not actually be upset about her ulterior motives as he has no love for his father’s family.

Oh and that mystery they need to solve – finding Eoin’s mother and sister?

Speaking of ridiculous …

It is not just the bear that’s ridiculous. There’s an equally ridiculous parrot and a cuter, but still bananas, gosling. Neither of these two are abused but they do also form ridiculous plot points.

I was also annoyed by how Eoin’s body was spoken of. He’s described as huge and looking like a prizefighter. Only, he can’t fight at all. His tremendous size is mentioned ALL THE TIME. I would argue it’s brought up even more than his character. It felt like the only thing that mattered about him was how he looked and I found it nauseating.

I am all for some wild escapism in my romances, especially historical ones. There is a quagmire of shit in English history and I understand not wanting to stare it in the face while trying to engage with some dopamine. But a plot has to be at least a little bit plausible, in my opinion. This book is not even remotely plausible and because it felt insulting to me as the reader, I found it hard to enjoy.

Is there anyone that would enjoy this book? I think someone who is interested in substantial whimsy in their romances might have an easier time of it. Someone who has read the prior books in the series. Someone who hasn’t read the ‘ulterior motives’ trope a million times, too. And I’ll be honest: someone who isn’t a middle-aged grouch like me.