The Devil’s Doorbell is an erotic anthology made up of seven stories by authors that I’ve heard of and/or read. The stories are all contemporary but they aren’t really connected, save for the explanation of “the devil’s doorbell.” Each story has some reference to the fact that “the devil’s doorbell” is another term for a woman’s clitoris.
Recently, I was going through a heavy reading slump and an anthology seemed exactly what I needed. I could read a short story, take a break, and then come back to it. Anthologies don’t seem to demand a lot of attention from me and I don’t think I’ve ever read one—cover to cover—in one sitting.
Overall, the anthology was pretty mixed. The book both begins and ends with the best stories in the bunch. The middle ones were average, as I felt some aspect was always missing, and only one story truly made me fume with anger.
So here’s a breakdown and mini review of each story, length varies according to squee or “flames on the side of my face” anger. Trigger warnings for abuse as a backstory and rape for a couple of these.
In the Garden by Anne Calhoun; Grade: A
Kelsey at an English estate for a friend’s wedding and she cannot stop staring at one of the guests. That’s because the guest in question, Julian, looks just like the last boyfriend to really shit on her heart. Throughout the festivities, Julian keeps catching Kelsey’s stares and finally calls her out on it. She plays it off as just attraction, but it comes out that she’s having conflicted feelings.
She’s attracted to him because he looks like her ex, but she’s pretty fucking pissed at her ex. So Julian offers to be a stand-in. No-strings-attached rough sex so she can stick it to her memory of her previous boyfriend.
They wind up getting it on in an abandoned church on the estate and Julian nicks a very expensive bottle of champagne from the reception, as you do. But Kelsey and Julian have amazing chemistry. It’s cheeky and light. I’m of the opinion that sex should be fun and these two characters captured that element so well.
Kelsey and Julian’s one-time fling is over and the wedding week ends, but there is still some excitement lingering between the two and Julian offers Kelsey a lift back to the city. It was a story that left me wanting more, but not in an unresolved way. But in a way that makes me smile because you just know these two people are going to hump like rabbits and enjoy doing it.
Favorite quote:
The thing about a one-time thing is that sometimes it happens twice. Or several times. Because you liked something far more than you anticipated, and want to do it again. Not necessarily the sex that makes us look like we were in a motorbike accident, although I wouldn’t say no to that.
Exact Warm Unholy by Jeffe Kennedy; Grade: F
If the grade wasn’t any indication, I hated this story. I’m going to spoil it to explain why.
Rachel was raised as part of the Orthodox Jewish community and had an arranged marriage. Upon her wedding night, the sex was painful and unsatisfying. Her marriage was unfulfilling and her husband was frequently unfaithful.
Regularly, Rachel becomes someone else when she’s hoping to find someone to sleep with. She’ll don a wig, contacts, and create a whole different personality. She’ll become someone else. She also always goes to the same bar, because it’s frequented by business travelers, so she doesn’t have to worry about them being local or running into them again.
The fact that she has to become someone else in order to enjoy sex, to me, is a sign of trauma and some mental health issues. And there was one scene that really disturbed me. Please be warned that the description of this next scene might be triggering.
She’s crying while he has sex with her, and we later find out that there was blood in her underwear from the encounter. During the scene, she verbally consents, but I have to wonder if she can truly consent since Rachel isn’t consenting as herself, but as the personality she created. The lines were just blurred enough for me to think this was rape.
If you’re curious about the hero, he’s the bartender at the bar Rachel frequents. I didn’t really buy his attraction to Rachel, considering she was usually posing as someone else when she came in.
No favorite quote because of my raging.
Red Leather by Delphine Dryden; Grade B
After a particular shitty break up from a long-term relationship in which her partner reveals he’s been having an affair and is in love with someone else, Maggie is lusting after a pair of red leather boots. The shoes are just enough to kick her confidence into high gear and I do enjoy a good “Stella getting her groove back” story.
Maggie has a crush on the “shy-but-hot mail room guy” Tim, but is mortified when Tim delivers a box at the end of the day. A box with a vibrator in it. It seems that her ex’s new girlfriend found some of her old stuff at his place and took the liberty of mailing them back to Maggie—at her place of work.
Tim has crushed on Maggie for a long time and the whole vibrator package (heh) just pushes him over the edge. After hours, thinking the office is empty, he tries to engage in a little “me time” in the supplies closet. And of course, he gets caught by Maggie. Cue sexytimes.
This one was cute, but I found Tim to be a little too beta for my liking. And also, control yourself, man! I did find Maggie to be adorable and I liked seeing her reclaim her confidence as a single woman.
Favorite quote:
I’m going to do what I want because I like myself—instead of, How can I find out what this person wants to they’ll like me.
Drowning on Dry Land by Megan Hart; Grade: B-
Bette is a Domme who is currently in a relationship with Damian, but she’s still feeling the effects of a previous relationship. There are brief flashbacks as Bette recounts the different moments and emotions tied with kissing her former lover. It’s really heartbreaking and I can empathize with her.
She’s struggling to give Damian all of herself when she’s still hung up on her ex (I don’t think he ever gets a name). But when she receives an email from him, Damian allows her to explore the possibility that maybe she’d rather be with him again. Kind of like, if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back, then it was meant to be yours all along.
I hate that phrase by the way and I would never allow someone to be with their ex to see if they still had feelings. No way, no how. In short, Bette meets him, she retains her power in the bedroom and he comments how she’s become a different woman. She shows him, through sex, that he has no power over her anymore. And then she returns home to Damian. There’s not quite an HEA here, to me, since Bette seems to be unresolved in her feelings for her current lover.
I also wonder if Bette has to be in a position of control with Damian because of the skewed power dynamic she had with her former lover, but that’s never fully explored. But hot damn, if this wasn’t packed with emotions that echoed my own feelings of my last relationship.
Favorite quote (SO MANY):
Sometimes, the thing that’s for the best is the one that feels the worst.
Devil in the Dark by Christine d’Abo; Grade B+
I looooooved the heroine in this one. She’s funny and all about business. Shona is developing a hook-up app where women list what sort of kinks they’re looking for and a man responds. It’s also location based (i.e. if you’re looking to hook-up at a certain bar). The man supplies a photo of himself if he’s interested, and the woman decides if she wants to pursue it any further. As someone who has used Tinder, I like that the woman is in control.
Shona and co-developer Chandra have a meeting coming up to secure financial backing, so they want to take the app out for a test drive at a local club. Shona sets her kink parameters and someone responds. Turns out, the guy who responds is the club’s owner, Kevin. He heard about the app and wanted to test it, considering people would probably be using it while in his establishment.
This story was definitely more sex-focused than the others and it left off with a feeling of, “That was fun. Maybe we’ll do it again. Or maybe we won’t.” Which is usually the general feeling of a good hook-up. Some of the dirty talk felt a little stilted and odd, but overall, I loved the app idea and one-and-done sex approach definitely worked well for the anthology.
Favorite quote:
My cell phone was currently tucked into my cleavage, which I’m sure wasn’t very good for the screen.
London Calling by Megan Mulry; Grade C-
After losing her design firm in her divorce, Lana relocates to London to start over. Unfortunately, making ends meet is harder than she realizes, considering she refuses to rely on her family’s money and her design connections (which I totally did not understand as she still seemed to like design work).
As a joke, she browses the Craigslist personal ads and finds someone is looking for a live-in facesitter. The person travels and wants to have a dedicated paramour when they come home. Lana emails the person about the ad and soon, she has an arrangement in a public place at a swanky bar to meet. In fairness, she does bring a couple friends to keep watch.
Of course, we all assume it’s a dude. But it turns out to be a married woman, Cybelle. She and her husband, David, have a sexual understanding. Her husband had a previous arrangement with a man, who also lives in their home, and who Lana is also welcome to sleep with if they wish. (Everyone gets to sleep with everyone, which is a pretty sweet deal, admittedly.)
While I enjoyed the twist of the “love interest” being a woman, a lot of it felt reminiscent of Fifty Shades of Grey. Cybelle does a background check on Lana and mentions Lana’s divorce upon first meeting her, which is awkward and frankly, none of her goddamned business to bring up. There’s also mention of a contract.
Furthermore, Lana also describes herself as a “unicorn” several times because she’s bisexual and wouldn’t mind be shared by a husband and wife. My eyes felt strained from all the rolling.
Favorite quote:
Despite the lingering disapproval of long-dead grandmothers and the probably legitimate concern of best friends back in Brooklyn, I’d started thinking seriously about answering a few really perverted Craigslist adverts.
(I was living in London, so I got to say advert. Leave me alone.)
We Are All Found Things by M. O’Keefe; Grade: A
M. O’Keefe continues to be amazing. This is also (I think) the only story in the anthology with a diverse heroine. Trigger warning in this story, by the way, for abuse and rape as a backstory.
Rennie is an artist who uses welding to make her pieces. Recently, her studio has suffered some burglaries and is looking for someone to live in the studio’s apartment at night to keep an eye on the place. Enter Luka, a soft-spoken, Viking-esque man, who also happens to be a virgin.
Rennie thinks he looks familiar, but can seem to place it until it hits her in the middle of the night.
Luka was part of a news story. He was raised in a rural, backwoods area, by a father who was abusive to women as well as him. His father kidnapped and raped a woman, who Luka discovered and took to safety.
Luka and Rennie dance around each other so carefully, as they both have secrets and painful memories tied to their fathers. Rennie’s was shot during a convenience store robbery; she was with him when it happened. This one was easily my favorite out of the bunch—the slow burn, Rennie’s conflict of how to help Luka, Luka’s mistrust of people and his social anxiety. He was like a scared animal, wanting to be loved but unsure of how to bridge that gap.
It had a lot going on in terms of characterization, but it was handled so delicately that it didn’t feel overdramatic or like ten pounds of plot in a five pound bag. Seriously, I think the anthology is worth this story alone.
Plus, there’s a dog that ruins a perfectly sexy moment.
Favorite quote:
I walked away. Because I wanted to fuck him and I wanted to take care of him and I wanted to hear his secrets. And I kind of wanted to tell him mine. My pain was attracted to his pain. And maybe some part of me wanted to heal him with my magic vagina or the power of a blow job or some shit.
Like most anthologies, this one had stories that ranked all across the grading spectrum, but I’m glad it both started and ended on a high note. I also think your enjoyment of the stories will depend on your reading tastes. For example, I’m very picky about the types of Beta heroes, so Tim in “Red Leather” didn’t quite do it for me, but I loved Luka in “We Are All Found Things.” If you pick (or have already picked) this one up, let me know which were your favorites!
This book is available from:
As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.
We also may use affiliate links in our posts, as well.
Thanks!
Does anything like Shona’s app already exist? Asking for a friend, of course…
@Dorothea: I don’t think there’s a kink-based hook up app where women have the control. However, there is Bumble, which allows for contact to be initiated only by the female, in the case of heterosexual dating. Bumble does offer same-sex connections, but I don’t know how it works if both people are women.
Regarding London Calling, why would anyone say “adverts” when they could say Ad-Ver-Tis-Ments a la Michael Banks in Mary Poppins?
(I apologize if that isn’t how Bristish people actually say advertisements, but it’s definitely my favorite version of the word)
@Allie:
I love that movie. Even Dick Van Dyke’s horrible accents can’t spoil it for me. If course, now I’m composing stories in my head about Jane and Michael all grown up into lovely adults helping each other write personal ads online.
I didn’t read the developer in the Devil In the Dark as white, but that might have been wishful thinking. I really enjoyed the Delphine Dryden story, but that may because I’ve read the other title in that series and was a little more familiar with the characters. The last story was a real heartbreaker and I agree that it was the best.
I have to say that the few random story synopsis and 1-2 chapters of other books inserted throughout the anthology drove me up the wall. Maybe they were supposed the be teases to encourage readers to seek those completed stories out, but all they did was aggravate the hell out of me for not being a short story as promised.
I quite liked all the stories in the Devil’s Doorbell anthology, including the one by Jeffe Kennedy. I didn’t have the same issues with it as the reviewer did, I thought it was interesting that the bartender saw through Rachel’s different identities and wanted to get to know her. However, I’m curious to know what the spoilers are – when I click the spoiler links nothing shows up. My favorites in the collection were Anne Calhoun and Christine D’Abo’s stories.
@Diandra: I was on the fence about whether Shona was white or not. I also didn’t read her that way, but I didn’t want to make a definitive statement of whether she was or wasn’t.
Also, I had no idea that some of the stories were supposed to be teasers from other books! I felt some of them we’re as resolved as I would have liked, but I just thought that was the nature of trying to write a novella.
@Maria Rose: The spoilers are working for me, but I’m on my computer. Not sure if you’re trying to access the review from a phone/tablet.
@Amanda – thanks, ironically, I could see the spoilers on my phone but not my desktop.
Also, for you and @Diandra – I believe these stories are all standalone shorts/novellas with complete resolutions. They may be linked to others (via being part of a series, like the Del one you mentioned) but I didn’t know that prior to reading, and I didn’t feel there was any information missing. Teaser chapters for other stories don’t surprise me in an anthology like this, it’s a way to promo the authors’ other books.
“Furthermore, Lana also describes herself as a “unicorn” several times because she’s bisexual and wouldn’t mind be shared by a husband and wife.”
Just FYI… unicorn is a slang term, and that’s literally what it means. It’s not something the author made up. A unicorn is a bisexual woman willing to have sex with a married husband and wife.
They’re called unicorns because they’re rare.
I was coming here to say the same thing as Viridian. Unicorn is a slang term within the poly/swinging community. And yup, they’re rare. 🙂
@Viridian & @Elia Winters: I had no idea! I just thought it was some term she was using to emphasize how special she was and found it somewhat off-putting. If I recall, it’s not specifically pointed out in the text that this was a legit thing and it relies on knowledge of a certain community, which clearly I have none of, haha.
Thank you for taking the time to review each of the stories in this book.
I have never heard a clitoris referred to as the devil’s doorknob and I am dying to know was that expression created for this anthology or does it date back to antiquity? I tried to google the etymology of the phrase to no avail.
One thing I discovered, it is also the name of a very dangerous racecourse Wookies use.
Hahaha! It’s okay. If you aren’t a swinger and you aren’t polyamorous, I can see why a woman calling herself a unicorn might come off as pretentious.
A lot of male/female couples get into swinging or polyamory with unrealistic expectations. They are only interested in single bisexual women. They want her to be attractive. She must not date anyone else. She must be equally attracted to both of them. She must fit neatly into their life. She must follow the rules they establish. If she causes any problems in their relationship, they automatically break up with her, because they consider her the least important person in the relationship.
But women like that are really rare. Sure, bisexual polyamorous women exist, but a lot of us have become jaded and aren’t willing to date couples.
The couple is looking for a fantasy rather than an actual human being with her own wants and desires. Everyone wants her and has heard of her… but she doesn’t exist in real life.
Couples who want a unicorn are called unicorn hunters. It’s sort of an insult.
Anyway, sorry for the history lesson. That’s why some bisexual polyamorous women call themselves unicorns.
This is the best vocabulary lesson ever. Thank you, y’all!
Devil’s doorbell has been out there in the religious communities. At least, I have heard it. Girls are warned not to “ring it” as that is inviting the devil in.
Oh M O’Keefe sounds rad. You said “continues to be amazing” though, has she written anything else? The goodreads page just has that one anthology, unless it’s just a very similar pseudonym for Molly O’Keefe.
Shame about the Jeffee Kennedy story though. I really liked Five Golden Rings (I mean come on, female billionaire CEO meets a latino lawyer) and her Rogue’s series is…. my guilty pleasure reading.
I had never heard the sayings “Ringing the Devil’s Doorbell” or “Unicorn” either and just did an online search. The resulting articles were hilarious and had me cracking up at work.
The book reviewed is not my cup of tea so wont be reading that but my goodness what a lot of information I learnt today from both the comments as well as the online search. Not that I could ever share this with anyone else in any decent conversation of course … but lovely way to increase my knowledge – thanks everyone
@Linda: Yes, M. O’Keefe is a pen name for Molly O’Keefe! She’s written a few things as M, namely dark contemporaries. I really enjoyed EVERYTHING I LEFT UNSAID, though it does have a cliffhanger. Thankfully, the second book is out.
Linda,
Yes, M O’Keefe is another name for Molly O’Keefe (presumably for her more erotic stuff).
Just a comment regarding London Calling. When Lana refers to herself as a Unicorn because she is willing to have sex with a f/m married couple, this is not made up by the author to whimsical or cute, but rather “unicorn” is a real term for someone who wishes to do these activities.