Suzanne Brockmann: Change “Doesn’t Happen if We’re Too Fucking Nice”

I’ve been waiting and waiting for the video to be posted from the RWA RITA Awards last week. It’s available now for everyone (YES! THANK YOU!) so grab a drink and maybe some tissues and settle in.

If you haven’t seen it, I want to share Suzanne Brockmann’s speech as she accepts the Nora Roberts Lifetime Achievement Award. It made my hair stand up. And then, when she was finished, the rest of me, too. I know she made the text available, but the electricity of the delivery and the experience of listening is pretty incredible.

The video below is cued to the moment her speech begins, but you can definitely watch the entire ceremony if you like.

Her speech takes the form of a letter to her son, Jason, who introduced her.

I think my favorite part, and this will not be a surprise to anyone, is when she said that change “doesn’t happen if we’re too fucking nice.” 

You don’t say. “Nice” is going along with the status quo so no one is “offended.”

I also think it’s important to note the moment in her speech where she talks about her having been asked as the 2008 RITA Awards emcee to change her script, and her feelings about having acquiesced. She regrets doing so, she says, as much as she regrets removing a gay character from an early book: “I should have rocked the living fuck out of that boat. Instead, I was nice. Instead, I went along.”

Not only does Brockmann call out RWA’s past behavior, but she calls out her own.

And by giving this award to Brockmann, RWA was calling its past self out as well. I believe this was RWA’s current iteration, as much as one can ascribe motivation to a large group entity managed by a Board of Directors, decrying its own past behavior. This was RWA calling its past actions unacceptable by giving Brockmann recognition for her achievements as a writer, and the platform and space to say what she did: That was wrong. It’s past time to do better.

Exiting board member Courtney Milan said similar:

https://twitter.com/courtneymilan/status/1021808188515971072

On a personal level, I also love that one of the first reviews posted on this site when we launched was for Suzanne Brockmann’s The Unsung Hero.  No lie, that’s the first review I wrote for a romance novel, ever. Possibly it’s the first review I ever wrote for a book, unless I’d been assigned one in school and forgotten about it (which is very possible).

And when I look back at some reviews I wrote 10+ years ago, there is a lot I wish I could have done better. But I did what I could with what I knew at the time, and every day, I try to learn more and do better. Looking backwards is very difficult, especially when I recognize my own mistakes (and when my brain likes to go over them millimeter by millimeter at 3am!). But it’s important to examine and correct oneself.

The response to Brockmann’s speech has been, from what I have seen, mostly positive and inspiring, though I do know there have been complaints both public and individual.

But my favorite has been John’s response, reposted with permission below, which made me teary:

A LOT of people are encouraging RWA members to write letters to the board in support of Brockmann’s speech, and in support of the changes RWA board members are implementing to make to create a more inclusive, representative genre. If you’re a member and want to email the board, you can find contact information at the RWA website (or email board@rwa.org).

RWA has also shared the audio of Sonali Dev’s Librarian’s Day luncheon speech, which is also emotional, powerful, and viscerally honest:

She talks about being labeled as a “chatterbox,” and the many overt and invisible ways women who speak up are silenced. My favorite part: “our words are our jewels.” Her call to action is just as formidable: as you cultivate your own voice, elevate the voices of those around you who have a more arduous path to being heard.

The romance genre still needs to better represent the people who read and write it if it is to welcome another generation of readers. The speakers this year and the overall atmosphere of the conference gave me a much-needed infusion of hope that the necessary growth to make the genre what it can and should be will happen. Onward we go.

ETA July 30th: I wanted to add a link to Nicki Salcedo’s emotional essay in response to Brockmann’s speech, Dear Suzanne Brockmann: 

All these years, I thought my anger was unfounded. I thought it was just my imagination. I thought I was mistaken. Every word you said knocked a bit of breath from me. This is why I could not cheer. Your words hurt. I’ve been walking around with unshed tears in my eyes for a long time. Maybe years. I know what it is like to be hated. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Not your son. Not my characters….

I am writing this letter to tell you thank you.

Categorized:

General Bitching...

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  1. Ginger says:

    I read my first Suzanne Brockmann book for one of last quarter’s SBTB Goodreads challenges. I so enjoyed it that I tried to figure out how to finish out the challenge using only her books. I know her speech may be divisive but she’s certainly speaking to her truth, and now I love her as much as I love her stories.

  2. Ren Benton says:

    As with all politics, please don’t assume what you personally see on your curated side is the majority. There is shit-stirring going on in private by the “I would have walked out of that offensive attack against all that’s good and decent in the world, but I was AFRAID FOR MY LIFE” crowd. If you have strong feelings on the matter, I encourage you to write them down and send them to the powers that be.

    Remember the voting habits of white women in the 2016 election. When that demographic is the overwhelming majority in an organization, don’t take it on faith they’ll do the right thing on their own. Speak up.

    Bonus points if you swear like you’re no “lady” while doing it.

  3. Todd says:

    In regard to the “chatterbox” comment – I saw somewhere that in a study men were asked about how much women talked; on investigating, the study-ers found that they weren’t comparing how much women talked with how much men talked but with women not talking at all.

  4. Jean Russell says:

    Thank you for linking to these.

  5. Lindsay Myers says:

    I want to add the text (and the remarks she decided to omit at the last moment with her notes), linked here: https://tinyletter.com/SuzanneBrockmann/letters/that-rwa-lta-speech-news-from-suz

    I cried when I read it, as a queer person, sometimes you don’t know how much you have accepted marginalization until it is called out and Brockmann does that ferociously and eloquently. I also am very moved that she intentionally included so many queer/minority ancillary characters because I believe it does help people develop empathy towards those who are different from them.

    And an aside, I saw that Sarah included a rec to Rachel Spangler’s “Edge of Glory” in her latest round of recommendations and I deeply appreciate that as well as the ongoing inclusion of lesbian romance on SBTB. I enjoy a het romance but I didn’t know how much it would mean to me to see myself on the page until I read Spangler’s books. In the same way romance as a genre is firmly in the female gaze, her books have a distinctly queer voice that was validating in a way I didn’t know I was missing.

  6. @SB Sarah says:

    @Lindsay: Thank you for the link! I thought I had included it but my mistake. Thank you.

    And you are very welcome. I want to include as many romances as we can, and I’m so deeply grateful to Tara Scott for guest reviewing Edge of Glory (TEAM COREY). I enjoyed so much about that book.

  7. Robin Brown says:

    Two very passionate women with powerful messages. The struggle that some are forced to face to be happy is truly inspiring. And Sonali Dev made me cry. Thank you for posting these.

  8. greennily says:

    Thank you so much for this! I cried, but it felt so good! I’m proud to be a romance reader always, but especially now

  9. Stephanie Scott says:

    Thank you for posting these! I saw Suzanne’s live but did not see Sonali. I am all teary-eyed.

  10. LauraL says:

    I think Suzanne Brockmann’s comments and the introduction from her son, Jason, illustrate the great strides that have been made in the business over the past 25 years from not being able to use the word “penis” in a romance novel to the diversity in romance we see today. I am glad she won the Lifetime Achievement award as she has been a trailblazer.

  11. Between this and “Nanette” from Hannah Gadsby, I am 100% done with being fucking nice. Nice keeps the silenced silent, and we need those voices to create the world we want to see

  12. Melinda says:

    These two speeches make me so incredibly proud of the romance community. These women did amazing work here and I’m so thankful to them both for speaking out like this.

  13. TN says:

    Powerful. Relevant. Goosebumps. …and I vote. Please do as well.
    Thank you for sharing this.

  14. Michelle A says:

    Thank you for the video! I’d read the transcript of Suzanne’s speech but watching her speak is completely different and even more powerful than the transcript. I’m fired up to vote in upcoming gubernatorial primaries in my state in September and of course, vote in November.

  15. I don’t understand people who don’t want to acknowledge past bad behavior. If you’re smart, you look back, see what you did wrong and DO BETTER. If you keep striving to do better, there’s no shame in looking back and acknowledging your past mistakes. In fact, I believe it’s a GOOD thing. It’s a way of seeing how far you’ve come, even if you are still and always doing better.

    The only people who should feel shame in looking back are those who refuse to grow and learn and change. Those people should hang their heads in shame.

    As a reader, I’ve been so proud of the work RWA is doing in acknowledging past problematic behavior, learning from the past, working hard to make sure RWA is as inclusive as possible, and I’m most proud of their commitment to DOING BETTER.

    And I think Suz acknowledging all these things, both about herself and RWA, and doing it in that room was a beautiful and amazing thing to do. Good for her.

  16. I read the text of her speech and my heart was bursting with pride. Seeing her deliver that speech made me cry. Thank you for sharing the video. Suz Brockmann was the second romance author I read after Nora Roberts so the award was doubly fitting in my mind. Because of Suz, I broadened my reading to include the M/M romance genre. She made me want to learn more. I wish I was half as brave as she but I’m getting there. November can’t get here fast enough.

  17. Christine says:

    Thank you for this! I didn’t get to either of these events, but I found Shelly Laurenston’s speech wonderful as well–I loved her message about taking care of yourself and that she delivered it in jeans and a t-shirt 🙂

  18. Mary says:

    This was amazing. So glad you posted it or I never would have seen it. Now I want to read her books!

  19. Amara says:

    Thank you for these! I’d heard that Suz’s speech was great but it was so much to better to see her deliver it. Sonali’s speech was….wow. Suz’s speech fired me up and Sonali’s made me cry. I love how they are both insisting that ALL voices are heard. Sonali, in particular, did a fantastic job of not falling for the “model minority” attempt at exclusion and specifically referencing Bev Jenkins and Alyssa Cole as both role models and voices that need to be heard.

    I’ve always been a fan of Suz’s and just discovered Sonali a few months ago. How wonderful.

  20. Nikki says:

    Thank you for sharing this. I read the text in her newsletter and was grateful she included it. I read The Unsung Hero when it was first published, then had to go back and get her whole backlist. TUH remains in my top 10 favorites. And now I admire her even more.
    As with so many others, I urge everyone to vote in November. We must make our voices heard.

  21. Hazel says:

    My goodness, Sarah! Over and over again you introduce me to such extraordinary women. Thank you.

    I was impressed and roused by Suzanne Brockmann and then surprised into tears by Sonali Dev. We don’t all have a warrior spirit, but there are ways in which we can all contribute to the fight.

    I’m still ignorant about the romance genre but I’m off to find Brockmann’s and Dev’s books.

  22. Claudia says:

    Oh, Lord, sobbing at Sonali Dev’s speech (what starts at the 21mn mark really made me lose it). It is beautiful and powerful. Wow. Wow.

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