RITA Reader Challenge Review

Three Sweet Nothings by Nikki Sloane

This RITA® Reader Challenge 2017 review was written by Nerdalisque. This story was nominated for the RITA® in the Erotic Romance category.

The summary:

Five years ago, we’d been together and on fire, but the flames burned us both. Now she’s back in my life and is all my wildest fantasies in the flesh.

I want her. The desire is too powerful to argue against, but I’m not interested in what we had. This is an arrangement about pleasure and finding out who we are behind closed doors. There won’t be talk of love or any sweet nothings whispered by either of us.

This time, I’ll control the heat between us and make sure neither of our hearts get too close to the flames.

Here is Nerdalisque's review:

Three Sweet Nothings opens with Kyle getting himself off to a memory of his ex, Ruby (because she’s SO much better than porn). Specifically, he’s recalling a time when he and drunk Ruby fooled around with another girl. This has been his go-to image for five years since their ugly breakup. And based on this single memory, Kyle is absolutely certain that “a filthy freak hid behind that deceptive, good girl front.” (Yes, Ruby’s curious about kink, but thinks her interest is “dirty” and “wrong.”)

Lo and behold, Kyle and Ruby, both lawyers, end up on opposite sides of a high-profile divorce case. She’s still angry with him, and crashes a New Year’s Eve party to confront him. They go off to the hotel’s rooftop pool to talk. Turns out, if they had just used their words five years ago, they wouldn’t have wasted all that energy hating each other. So, Ruby – who’s just “slammed” some wine (#drinking again) – decides to kiss Kyle. Like you do. And (surprise), they end up (fully clothed) in the pool having rough sex and the best orgasms EVER!!!

A few days later, wannabe Dom Kyle contacts Ruby and uses sex to manipulate her into signing a contract agreeing to a purely sexual relationship – no love, no emotions. Because that always works. The rest of the book is them having various kinds of porny sex in various places with various props and even another couple (*gasp*). Then there’s another misunderstanding because they fail to use their words again. But, twue wuv prevails and there’s an HEA. Sort of.

(BTW, there may have been some character growth, but honestly, I didn’t care enough to pay that close attention.)

This book didn’t work for me for a number of reasons. First, it’s written in alternating first-person POV. Not only does that make it all tell, not show, but I didn’t like the characters’ voices. For example, Ruby, at one of her meetings with Kyle, thinks: “A handshake? For real? I gave his dick a handshake with my vagina just a week ago.” Ew.

Second, Kyle, is a conceited, manipulative alpha-hole with a big red flag in his history. In the five years post-Ruby, he’s had a relationship with one woman – his boss. When he tried some do-it-yourself bondage with her, she freaked out about his “stupid fetish.” She wanted a commitment, and when he turned her down, she black-balled him. Kyle then did something to retaliate (just what isn’t spelled out) that was bad enough that she paid him “hush money,” and he left the city. Um, what? Worst of all, he won’t tell Ruby the whole story. And that is just one example of a third, and major, problem – their lack of honesty. Both of them enter into the sex-only partnership because they want to make the other fall (back) in love with them. That’s especially ironic because the only contract clause Ruby insists on adding is “Total honesty between partners.”

I could go on and on about other problems. They forego using condoms based only on each other’s word that they’re clean. Kyle uses his finger for “full-out [anal] fucking” without any lube. There’s some laughable writing: “violated with frigid winter air,” “the song of my approaching orgasm” (#lolololol). An offensive overuse of ellipses, e.g., “It was . . . erotic” (#facepalm) “She unleased [sic] all these . . . feelings.” (#lmfao) Like so many other things in this book, it was . . . annoying.

So let’s get to the sex. Kyle’s idea of being dominant is doing what he wants all the time – because, of course, he knows what Ruby needs (not “likes,” but needs). For example, when they’re in the pool – their first time together after not speaking for five years – he spanks her in a way he calls “aggressive and backed by a dark desire to punish.” Wow. That’s not healthy. Granted, Ruby apparently likes it, because she tells him to do it again, but he did NOT have her consent.

Again, shortly after Ruby has specifically said, “No thank you. I’m not interested in your partnership offer,” this happens:

I was spun around before I understood what was happening.

My hands flew out and I braced myself on the desktop as he bent me over with a shove. “What are you –“

He was faster than lightning. The sides of my skirt were jerked up over my hips . . .

I tried to right myself and push the skirt down, but . . . his open palm smacked hard against my ass.

I just . . . No. She was trying to stop him. And just because his fingers and dick are magic, and she ends up having an orgasm, that doesn’t make it okay.

If two people have spent five years hating each other, even if they still have pants feelings, they shouldn’t play at D/s. Especially if they haven’t communicated beyond filling out a checklist of things they’d like to try. (Kyle: “Dear God, please check anal.” #eyeroll) (BTW, Kyle lies when he fills his list out.) Supposedly Kyle gets a crash course from an experienced Dom, but it happens off the page. Since Ruby is conflicted about her desires, wouldn’t it have been good for her to talk to a sub? Maybe then she’d have known that the moment before someone penetrates you anally isn’t actually when you should decide on your safe word.

Obviously, this book didn’t work for me. I would have DNF’d it if I hadn’t signed up to review it. (I kind of did anyway, because I skimmed the last few chapters.) But I paid enough attention to identify its problems, some of which – issues of consent, the depiction of a “dominant” male – were really troubling.

I have to give it . . . an F.


Three Sweet Nothings by Nikki Sloane received a B- in a previous RITA Reader Challenge Review.

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Three Sweet Nothings by Nikki Sloane

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  1. Vasha says:

    Whoah… I cannot disagree with your horror at all. WTF Ritas?!

  2. Louise says:

    fully dressed, in a rooftop pool, having sex … on New Year’s Eve? Please tell me this book takes place in the southern hemisphere.

  3. Teev says:

    Wait, is the legal case ongoing during all this? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. This book sounds awful

  4. Nerdalisque says:

    @Louise – Laughing that I left out “indoor” in describing the pool! The book’s set in Chicago, btw.

    @Teev – Ruby recuses herself from the case, so at least there’s that.

  5. tikaanidog says:

    with all the … ellipses… I’m hearing the passages narrated by William Shatner. maybe imagining him reading it to you would have helped the book???

  6. hng23 says:

    Was this self-published? Because otherwise I have a hard time believing that some editor out there said, This is awesome, we must print it!

    Ah well, Sturgeon’s Law proves true again…

  7. Ren Benton says:

    @hng23: Plenty of jaw-dropping shit gets greenlighted by traditional publishers. It’s nice to think people who read for a living are enlightened beings who shoot lightning bolts at toxic themes to halt their spread, but it ain’t so.

  8. Donna Marie says:

    “A handshake? For real? I gave his dick a handshake with my vagina just a week ago.”

    I assume they were in public. What was he supposed to do, stick his dick in her hand?

    Great review!

  9. sey says:

    “vagina handshake” is going to be the name of my imaginary punk band 😀

  10. Lizzy says:

    Has any real person ever thought the phrase “I gave his dick a handshake with my vagina?” Or really anything even remotely close to that?

  11. Christine says:

    A handshake requires at least one hand to be involved, no?

    Sounds atrocious, but maybe there are readers who really just want a series of soulless sex scenes in their books. Like just wanting to snarf a whole bag of mediocre chips. I mean, it seems like you could watch free porn on the internet at that point, but I feel like I’m not the audience for most erotica. Plenty of people are, apparently.

  12. Nerdalisque says:

    @Lizzy, I had exactly that thought! Who would think “handshake” about P in V sex? Both characters had a lot of vulgar thoughts, but that statement was the one that stood out, because it was so ridiculous!

    @sey, “Vagina Handshake” is a Pussy Riot cover band, right? 😉

    @Christine, I like your junk food analogy. And yes, this book sort of felt like it was ticking off a list of sex acts, almost for shock value, if that makes sense. As I think about it, the foursome scene is the most egregious example of that. It seemed like a description of a porn movie.

    @Donna Marie — Thank you!

  13. Nerdalisque says:

    @hng23 and @Ren Benton The publisher is Shady Creek Publishing. They don’t seem to have a website, and their Amazon titles are almost all by this author. Seems kind of odd. Maybe it IS self-published?

  14. Christine says:

    @ Nerdalisque, sounds kinda shady. Har.

  15. The handshake line is glaringly uncreative. If that’s par for the course, then I can certainly see your frustration.

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