One person said they feared the upcoming mockery when the Twilight fonts were discovered on her computer. Another lamented that it was so easy to work with images against a black background. But everyone who entered BROUGHT GAME like DAMN and MON DIEU. Are you ready for the entries? Pick your favorite in the poll below. This entry will expire in 24 hours.
OMG the peen flowers! *faint*
I want to vote for several.
I love the Holy Bible! Or Goodnight Moon. Oh decisions decisions
I am totally torn between Goodnight Moon, Everyone Poops (a total house favorite en mi casa), and The Playboy Sheikh’s Virgin Stable Girl – because … LIZARD!
The competition, it is FIERCE.
They’re all so amazing, but I think I laughed the hardest at THE HOLY BIBLE. Although whoever did the Photoshop work on CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC is a genius!
Ah, nicely done, one and all.
And yes, I just know the fonts will be discovered on my computer one of these days, and then I’ll have to try to justify. While I did read the books, this site is making me seem like such a rabid Twilight fan.
I mean really, I know that I can get an Edward life size cutout for my wall on Etsy, a sparkly cold dildo should you want an Edward experience (sans bruising), and that the twilight font is called Zephyr.
That sure sounds like someone who stays up long hours in Twilight chat boards, writing fan fiction and has “I like my men sparkly” tattooed on her ass.
I sure as hell wouldn’t believe my arguments that I’m not one of those people and actually hated the last book. -sigh-
I laughed hardest at the Northanger Abbey one (as really, what would Jane Austen have to say about Twilight). But the dictionary and baby names ones were also LOL, as was the tag line for the Duke and I/Julia Quinn one.
A gold star for everyone!
for65 (yes I would like to vote for 6 or 5 of them)
I seriously can not pick!
What Edie said.
OMG, these are just totally made of WIN. How am I supposed to pick JUST ONE?!?!
Sooooo hilarious! Thanks for running this contest, and thanks to everyone who entered for totally making my day.
I’m going to have to come back later and vote. I really, really can’t pick just one…
Wow! I thought my peen flower was good, but Chris’ on Forbidden Fruit was … I don’t even know. Is that even a real flower? Or did someone make a flower out of a peen?
Some people have mad Photoshop skillz here.
I just had to vote for Chris’s entry with the fungus in the middle. Hey, I knew all those mycology courses would be good for recognizing something.
Loved almost all of them, but had to pick Northanger Abbey because of Jane Austen and yellow flowers.
Oh ow, I think I bruised a rib. I don’t need the funny(ier) looks that breaking out into gales of laughter would currently draw so I stifled. *pant, pant, wheeze, giggle* There is just so much win.
special74 indeed, I’d vote for them all if I could. How to pick just one.
Haaa! Loving The Bible and Goodnight Moon. Too funny.
Will there be different rewards? Like most beautiful? Funniest? All around champ? Because the Scarlet Letter cover, IMHO, would be a great for an actual cover (at least with the twilight quote removed.) It’s gorgeous. I laughed hardest at Dark Lover. (Yay! More boning!)
But the dictionary is the best!
What to choose?! Forbidden Fruit, The Bible, Good Night Moon? All awesome!
I hated having to just pick ONE!
The shaft-of-love flowers had me snorting out loud! Also had to give honorable mention to “Everyone Poops,” “Persuasion,” and “Baby Names.”
Good job Bonny members of the Bitchery!
My brain is exploding with the choices! Too much wonderfulness!
Do I have to pick just one? They are all so funny but I’m torn between The Dictionary and Everyone Poops.
Soooo unfair we can only pick one. Props to everyone ‘cause they are all great!
AGH!! Can’t. Choose one.
Good Night Moon!
The Bible!
Confessions of a Shopaholic!
…and really, I think The Scarlet Letter cover is very pretty. I would happily own that book.
Oh boo, did I miss the deadline? I Twilighted King Lear.
Only one? Couldn’t we vote for our top 3?
I do love the Holy Bible cover but The Playboy Sheik was hilarious!!!!!! “little lizard”
chortling silently hurts like hell.
This was so hard to vote on! I just want to say awesome job to everyone. I wish I could have voted several times.
the covers, they are awesome! I can’t choose. I love The Bible and The Book of Mormon with special introduction by Stephanie Meyers. Also, Shadow and the Star, LIZARD! HA!, and the Shopaholic one is gorgeous. I’m in awe. But just one? No, I can hardly pick – though I’ll vote.
The baby name book, that was wonderful, and I wish I could have voted for it too.
Oh. My. Gawd. You people are hee-larious! And photoshop stars! Seriously, please, couldn’t we vote for more than one?
Bible, Goodnight Moon, Book of Mormon, Shopaholic—how to choose, how to choose?
Thank goodness I closed my ofc door b4 reading 😉
These are works of genius. The phallic flower was funny all on it’s own. I am torn between Northanger Abbey and Fires of Winter. Totally linking this to some of my facebook friends.
Oh, man. It started off strong with Glitter Baby and just kept going!
It was really hard to pass up the Bible, but I had to go with the Baby Name book. Thanks for reminding me about “Renesmee” (grinds teeth). You don’t know how hard I worked to put that name out of my mind.
And I agree that Lyra, who did The Scarlet Letter, should be designing book covers for real.
Well, I finally decided to cast my vote for The Shining, because “Stephen King once acknowledged Twilight’s existence” is just TOO funny.
But these are all fantastic!!!!!!! Verification each73: each of you photoshop wizards deserve to win 73 internets!
So difficult and all so funny. My favorites were Goodnight moon, The dictionary, the Book of Mormon, the Shining, Northanger Abby and the Fires of Winter, which one to choose.
um…
I’m sitting in Starbucks laughing (and getting strange looks from the others around me)
This will be a difficult vote. There are just too many spew-worthy covers!
I’m undecided between the Glitter Baby one, the holy Bible one, the fires of winter one, and the JR Ward one.
I’m DYIN here! lmao
LOL great job everyone!! these are priceless.
Oh, man… I love the one with the Bible-this line, “Because the apple thing came from us first”. *G*
The Dictionary Cover is HIGH-larious! 😀
They are all hysterical – evidence of the massive intelligence of the Bitchery readers.
thanks for the laugh, I can’t choose, they’re all brilliant. but that persuasion cover is genius. won’t be surprised if someone actually uses that for a reprint.
I was ALSO working on a ‘Goodnight Moon’ but couldn’t easily find a red cow graphic…