Contest winner Midknyt sent me the most marvelous links to her pictures and blog entry. I’m not even sure how to adequately communicate the level of jaw-dropping awesome that is her visual travel diary, but holy peencakes, Batman.
There is a park in South Korea that is chock-full of penises. Everywhere you look: peen!
Haesindang Park in Korea, which, as Midknyt notes is a rather conservative culture, is a celebration and tribute to the erect phallus. Legend tells of a man who lost his fiance to the ocean, and her spirit ruined the fishing industry, so the village erected giant honking huge wooden dongs all over the place to appease her bitter, angry, presumably virginal self. The fishing improved, and to this day, sayeth Midknyt, the townspeople offer phalluses on the first full moon of the lunar year.
The pictures are worth their weight in peen. If I could mount an international book tour, I’d be so stopping in South Korea just for the peen park. And the beach is beautiful, too. Not to mention the Sex Education Theme Park, Love Land on Jeju Island.
Oh my lord.. that is AWESOME. I’d so visit that place and take pictures of me hugging an erect phallus, because really, who wouldn’t love THAT?
A friend and I were discussing how a penis park would work against an angry spirit, and it went a little something like this:
Angry Spirit: No fish for you, bastards!
Villager #1: What the hell? We’ve got to do something to appease her!
Villager #2: Like what?
Villager #1: I don’t know! Give her a present, Chicks dig presents!
Angry Spirit: Asshole, I’m right here? Ruining your fishing industry?
Villager #1: Sorry!
Dude, just give her something, quick! We’re starving!
Villager #2: All I have is this amusing sculpture I got last night at a bachelor party.
Villager #1: It’ll have to do!
Villager #2: Angry spirit! Please accept this gift, and no hard feelings, right?
Villager #1: Heh heh, ‘hard feelings.’
Villager #2: Dude, shut up!
Angry Spirit: You’re… giving me a dick?
Villager #2: *smiles*
Angry Spirit: You know what? Never mind. I can’t work like this. Here, have your fish back.
Villager #1: It worked! MORE DICKS!
Angry Spirit: Hey, contrary to popular belief, that thing isn’t the solution to all of life’s problems.
Villagers: More dicks! More dicks!
Angry Spirit: Whatever. I’m out of here.
Villagers: Yay, dicks!
Heh, you said “mount.” *is twelve*
My best friend’s hubby had to work in Korea for several months.
The welcoming committee was all male, who gathered close around him, anxious about something he couldn’t figure out.
Finally one of the Koreans asked, “Is true?”
“Is what true?”
“Is true you control your birth?”
Not what he was expecting.
“American’s control birth?” asked another.
So his first slam of culture shock was to learn that things like condoms and the pill were not common and even frowned upon there.
“Yes,” he said. “American’s use a lot of birth control.”
“What kind for you?” they demanded.
“The only kind that works. I’m here.” He pointed east. “Wife is 18-hour flight THAT way!”
This blog is a neverending gift. Thank you for this. I owe you one!
Midknyt’s commentary on the pictures is hi-lar-i-ous. I laughed hysterically…though quietly, so my daughter didn’t run in saying, “What? What?” She’s like the funny…but not today.
Hee! Loved the photos, and Midknyt’s commentary, but I have to admit, the photo on page 4, which she labeled “not sure what this is supposed to be” looks to me like Cousin It with what my boyfriend classily calls a “big twanger”.
oh, man. I’ll never look at all my Korean guy friends the same…
I’ve been to Korea twice! How did I miss this? Must haven been too focused on shopping and eating dog-kabobs.
Glad you guys liked it. 🙂
MzSpell – you’re right, it’s totally a Cousin It. Who knew he’d been around so long? (hee hee…long)
Emmy – it’s on the east coast and doesn’t seem to be advertised. One of my coworkers found out about it through a friend through a friend, and nobody else I know has ever heard about it. It was the first time she heard about it and she’s been here seven years! The plus side of it not being known is that the entrance fee was only 3,000 (~$2.30), though.
We were pretty surprised at least. Well worth the all day adventure.
hee hee hee… dude… those were, like, wieners…
Sorry guys—the whole photo tour reduced me to, like, fourteen years old… ‘wieners’ is all I got! Thanks Midknyt!
I would have totally sat on the red bench!
Note to self: Add Korea to bucket list….
Japan is big on penises, too—but they don’t limit them to parks. Instead, they’re all along the roadways,especially in the rural areas, 3 to 8 foot tall schlongs in wood or stone, proudly standing guard near intersections with offerings of flowers and food at their bases like colorful pubes. Fertility shrines, I think, though my Japanese friends were all reluctant/embarrassed to explain them. Got to wonder about a country that sticks penises along the road and displays porn on sidewalk stands next to the condom machines but won’t talk about them.
good32
Ha! I went to Loveland last June. It is full of penises and breasts. They also sell sex toys, condoms, lingerie etc. It’s funny because the country is sexually repressed, but in places lik Loveland everything is out in the open.
I especially loved the doors to the bathrooms. For the women, the door handle was an erect penis. Also there was a decal of a woman squatting and peeing on the door.
I have not gotten around to the penis park though, it’s a bit farther north and it’s on our list of places to visit.
Oh frak me, that’s hysterical! (dies)