A good many people make New Year’s resolutions to get in shape, work out, lose weight, or be more fit and in better health – or all of the above. And it’s not easy to do. I know many of you are probably making similar resolutions. I promise, I’m not turning this into a weight loss site. But it occurred to me that if we combined romance reading and exercise, that might help many of us.
How about we combine romance reading and exercise to give us buns of steel, arms of awesome and general kickass-ness! (Asskick-ness? Ness-asskick? Loch Ness Asskicking!)
Announcing the first in a series of Romance Novel Workouts! These were inspired by the Doctor Who Workout Program, the Social Media Workout Plan, and the NerdFitness Konami Code Workout, and are meant to be done sitting down or on the floor with a good dose of humor and some form of hand weight. A kettle bell, a dumbell, a full jug of detergent, a half gallon of water, a cat, a hardback book, eleven hardback books like the gentlemen to the right… whatever.
Standard disclaimers apply: dude, I’m not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can’t discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen.
And now, the first Romance Novel Reader Workout! It’s in graphic form suitable for pinning, copying, pasting, and printing.
I’ll be assembling more workouts suitable for doing while reading, or perusing the romance novel bookshelf. If you have questions or suggestions, please share, either in the comments or via email. And if you want to share a picture of yourself in your best reading/working out gear, I’ll collect those, too. I’m trying to find my puffy paint sweatshirt so I can take one of myself.
Happy New Year, everyone. Remember: KEEP READING! AND BREATHING!
Man, I would be in shape in no time if I did this!
Grab your handweight, hardback, or cat and get started! And if you have a cliche-laden book to suggest for maximum workout effectiveness, do share!
Ten lunges when the hero says “he’s never met a woman like her.”
If I’d seen this last night while I was reading the new Courtney Milan novella, I’d be in traction this morning (but in a good way – I’m loving the story).
I love this! But I’m curious: is there a romance out there that doesn’t do this? I’m feeling particularly lazy…
This is fantastic! Followed over from Twitter and I’m happy I did! Rock it!
That was me above!
Does it count if the character smells of something that is uniquely themselves?
Heh, I may actually try this. I’d be super skinny in a couple months. Now, just to remember to do it *when* the action occurs and at end of each chapter. Yeah, that breaks my concentration LOL.
I’ve been playing catch up on this series and unfortunately am on the last one before the new release. However…..the Argeneau series by Lynsay Sands has ALL of those in every chapter! I might have to do some re-reading!!
I will have to re-read my NY book! I’ll drop serious pounds / inches in these 300+ pages!
Brilliant!!
I’m so excited! I’ve been in a Harlequin Presents phase and this will be perfect.
10 Stretches when eyes are described as “pools” or “orbs”.
The only thing I have handy right now is a 47 lb. German Shorthaired Pointer, but I’m going to the library today so I’ll stock up on hardbacks to lift. Could we ask Hines and Scalzi to star in the DVD workout?
I am so down with this plan. I could do this without having a lot of worry. Of course, I’d never be able to use my limbs again. Then again, I wouldn’t have to get into a bathing suit with a school full of 18-year-old college freshmen, either. Hmm. Pondering, Pinky, pondering.
I’d add to that any lip-biting or head-shaking. *Hurriedly checks new ms for any or all of the above*
Love it!!
Any sort of nipple description (male or female) ten one arm triceps extensions
Actually, due to excessive Protestant guilt, much of my reading is done with my e-reader on an elliptical. The e-reader is critical: I need the print large enough to compensate for the bouncing, but the results have been excellent. I have had to set a limit on how long I work out; if the book is great, I have a tendency to read/elliptic well beyond my imposed limit. Adding the other exercises listed above on top of that might help move me into Iron(bitch) range.
Interesting 2013 goal: Ironbitch
YES. WEARING SPANDEX!
Best. Workout. Ever. Hell, i may even do this one for longer than three days, unlike my other workout plans
Love it! I’d like to suggest the addition of some kind of pec exercise whenever her globes are mentioned.
I’m writing a book right now and have to admit that I’m guilty of describing emotions in the hero’s eyes. It’s first person, and from the heroine’s point of view there aren’t many other places to see emotion, except of course his pants.
This is an excellent regimen, so much more exercise for the rest of my body. My eyeballs were getting the only true workout from rolling back in my head. And think of the walls, how much safer they’ll feel if I do 15 squats instead throwing the latest book at them. Many shades of awesomesauce, SB Sarah, thank you.
Do 10 lunges when a character’s kiss tastes like something intangible (like innocence or sunshine or heartbreak).
Or, 10 somethings whenever a character makes some sort of weird non-word noise during sex, like augh or ungh (maybe this is more common in m/m than trad het, but I swear I read these all the time and it takes me out of the story while I try to figure out what noise that collection of letters would make and if it’s actually sexy or not).
This seems like a healthier version of the “take a shot” games that celebrate/point out the overuse of something in a work/genre. I’m sure quite a list could be assembled.
Here’s my addition: The hero/heroine find the heroine/hero exasperating/maddening/frustrating—and yet also arousing/intringuing/irrestible.
Man, get a trope-filled romance and this is going to be the p90x of reading! Maybe there should be a goodreads list of “best workout romances”, or at least warnings!
This is awesome! Especially if you did this during an audio book. I don’t know that I would want to get sweat all over my kindle, which is surely what would happen.
Oh and you could do different lists for different romance genres…and try to match exercises with the cliche, like lunges whenever the hero checks out her hips out something?
I feel like the best place to find a good trope-filled romance is the freebie section in the kindle store. And that’s where I’ll be headed tonight after I get the kids in bed. 🙂
Wow! I’ve got like a dozen audio versions of what I call “kilt lifters”, steamy highlander historicals. I think I may need to come up with my own kilt lifter workout. 😀
20 armcurls when the hero says “doona”, 15 squats when he “tosses his mane”. ROFL
OMG, I love it! I’m frequently reading romance novels at the gym when I’m on a bicycle or elliptical so I might actually be able to do some of this. Thanks for the smile!
Particularly if the nipples are described as “rosebuds”.
Amanda, I really wanna see that list.
This is hilarious! I love it!
“I’m writing a book right now and have to admit that I’m guilty of describing emotions in the hero’s eyes. It’s first person, and from the heroine’s point of view there aren’t many other places to see emotion, except of course his pants.”
A-a-and now I really want to read this.
“His head jerked back, and I couldn’t miss the flash of anger in his pants.”
“Could that have been a hint of guilt in his pants?”
“I dared our enemies to defy the steely resolve in his pants.”
Those are some mighty flexible trousers!
Yes – When the heroine “worrys her lip” which drives the dude crazy – 10 over head tricep lifts or something
But then the person wouldn’t be able to walk for a week.
OMG. Somebody write this. Even a short story. Where all emotion is in the hero’s pants. It would give me an ab workout from hell just from the laughter.
“I dared our enemies to defy the steely resolve in his pants.” – Steely resolve…best new euphemism for erection. <3
flaring nostril = 5 lunges
info dump = 5 squats per paragraph
🙂
heh heh… I said dump.