533. Partners in Crime: The Book and the Wedding with Alisha Rai

[music]

Sarah Wendell: Hello and welcome to episode number 533 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell, and my guest is Alisha Rai! One weekend Alisha got married, and then two weeks later a new book came out, so we have a lot to talk about. We’re going to talk about her wedding, the parties, and how part of her wedding was at a celebrity’s mansion. We’re going to talk about her newest book, Partners in Crime, which is so fun, and we’re going to talk about writing great capers. So please come party and reminisce and celebrate with us.

Hello and thank you to our Patreon community. Hello, folks! Thank you so much for supporting the show. We have bonus episodes for the Patreon folks, we have a Discord server coming very soon – I’m actually setting up the permissions right now – and we have lots of fun discussing each episode, so if you would like to join the Patreon community, please have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches.

And hello to Rachel G. I have a compliment today!

Honeybees like to nap in flowers because they have their little bee bums hanging out, and the reason that they do this is because they know that if you see it you will smile, and bees love to make you smile.

If you would like to have a compliment of your own, again: patreon.com/SmartBitches.

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Are you ready to do a podcast? Let’s talk books and weddings with Alisha Rai.

[music]

Sarah: Hi!

Alisha Rai: Hi!

Sarah: What’s it been, like four days?

Alisha: I know! [Laughs] At least four days!

Sarah: I feel like we’re back, I feel like we’re back recording the old podcast because, like, we just –

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: – we just spoke for like –

Alisha: I know! Forever!

Sarah: – so long!

Alisha: I know! [Laughs]

Sarah: How ya doing? Did you get any sleep?

Alisha: I’m still recovering. It has not been that long. I fell asleep, like, standing in the shower the other morning, so that’s about how good it’s going.

Sarah: Nooo!

Alisha: I think, I think we’re both just so exhausted; like it was such a go-go-go few days, and on top of that, like, high emotional stress, high psychological stress, so it wasn’t just –

Sarah: I mean, it’s just a wedding that you were throwing yourselves.

Alisha: Yes. [Laughs] Correct!

Sarah: Over three, four days.

Alisha: Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: Just multiple events that we had to coordinate ourselves. [Laughs]

Sarah: All right. So I want you to know there was a moment in the reception where the DJ said, you know, if anyone would like to say any words.

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: And I did not stand up, but I want you to know it was a real close thing, ‘cause I really wanted to get up there and just start another –

Alisha: You should have!

Sarah: – start another episode of Lovestruck? See how quickly you would have jumped up and, like, done, done the, done the intro?

Alisha: I, I would have, I would have immediately, I would have immediately jumped up and done the intro!

[Laughter]

Alisha: Yeah, you know, they asked us if we wanted to do an open mic after our scheduled toasts, like after our bridal party toasts were done?

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: And we were like, yeah, that sounds fun! And Kai’s parents were, like, very anti-this? Like, they argued with him? ‘Cause they’re like, ninety people are going to get up and make a toast! And I was like, actually, I think nobody’s going to get up because people, like, you know, they, they need a minute once they’re put on the spot.

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: But I think it would be a nice gesture in case there is, like, somebody out there who wants to jump up and just –

Sarah: Who’s got a burning need to start something?

Alisha: Yeah, just, just has, yeah, dying, like, to say something, and the DJ was really good; like, he’d said to us beforehand, like, if they go too long or if you don’t like what they’re saying, just give me a nod and I’ll cut ‘em off; it’s not a big deal. So –

Sarah: [Laughs] Your DJ’s going to play off the speeches! Oh my God!

Alisha: Yeah! I was like, oh cool! You’re going to, like, get a big hook and knock ‘em out of the place? That’s fantastic. I –

Sarah: Start playing them off like at the Oscars?

Alisha: I, I wasn’t worried at all, but his parents were just like, they’re going to be talking forever! And then, so when nobody came up for the open mic I was, like, so vindicated.

[Laughter]

Alisha: After, it’s like Kai and I, Kai and I were so smug. We’re like, see?

Sarah: See?

Alisha: [Laughs] But I heard, I, I did hear a lot of people, our videographer had set up a camera outside –

Sarah: Yes.

Alisha: – so I did hear a lot of people went out and said things there for, for us to listen to later, so I’m happy about that.

Sarah: Yes. Yes, they did.

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: So, Alisha.

Alisha: Yes, Sarah.

Sarah: Congratulations on many, many things. Lots of things.

Alisha: Thank you. Lots of things.

Sarah: A whole series of things. Like a whole pile of things.

Alisha: Yes. Yes.

Sarah: Would you recommend –

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – getting married and releasing a book in a two-week span?

Alisha: No! [Laughs]

Sarah: No!?

Alisha: Shockingly?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Alisha: Shockingly, I would not recommend this –

Sarah: You would not recommend?

Alisha: I would not recommend this one bit. This has been probably the most stressed out. I mean, they’re, they’re both good things, right? So –

Sarah: They’re both wonderful things!

Alisha: Yeah, so –

Sarah: But they require a lot of attention in the lead-up –

Alisha: Yes.

Sarah: – and then in the aftermath.

Alisha: Correct. Yes, yes, yes, very much so. I mean, I think it’s, it’s, a book release is kind of weird in that you would think that once you write the book you don’t have a lot to do with it.

Sarah: Ha! No.

Alisha: You actually, it’s, it actually just ramps up more after that, so, like –

Sarah: Oh yeah, once it’s done –

Alisha: Oh yeah. Once they have, like, the widget to sell there’s like –

Sarah: [Laughs]

Alisha: – ten million things that you as the chief creator of the widget have to do on top of that. And so I, I –

Sarah: Please put that on your business cards, by the way. Chief widget creator?

Alisha: Chief widget creator? Yeah, that’s what, I mean, that’s what it feels like sometimes, where it’s like, okay, I’ve given you this product. Should, like, automate, right? And it’s like, no, it’s not going to automate. And so there’s interviews to do; there’s, like, things to write for it; there are, you know, signings to arrange; there’s, there’s just emails to answer! There’s nonsense emails to answer all the time, and so it’s, it’s just a lot of administrative work –

Sarah: Oh yes.

Alisha: – and then on top of that, with the wedding, I mean, we didn’t, we had a coordinator – like, we had a day-of coordinator, but we didn’t have a wedding planner because we were like, we’ve got this! No big deal. I used to be a florist; I can handle this. I’ve planned weddings before. But I did not anticipate planning a wedding with my own family – [laughs] – in, you know, with our own families and their very high emotions? Like, that had never been something I had to deal with before ‘cause I was, I was the vendor before. Like, I wasn’t in the mix –

Sarah: Yeah!

Alisha: – and so that, that was like an enormous period of stress as well. So, like, that, that did really complicate things –

Sarah: Little bit, yeah!

Alisha: – than I thought it would, yes!

Sarah: That’s why –

Alisha: Very –

Sarah: – in the movie The Wedding Planner, if you remember the opening sequence, she has this utility belt, and on it is Valium, and she just gives it to the parents?

Alisha: [Laughs]

Sarah: And just gives them Valium? Here you go; take this.

Alisha: Oh man. I wish I had just carried that with me. It was, it was a close call there.

Sarah: Little Pez dispenser?

Alisha: Yeah, a little, just like, pop this in your mouth, please! [Laughs]

Sarah: Just put this under your tongue for a few minutes; you’ll be fine.

Alisha: Leave me alone for – [laughs] –

Sarah: So have they left you alone now that it’s done?

Alisha: Not really.

Sarah: See, that, that’s not cool!

Alisha: No! You would think – I, I said to Kai that I, we are never doing anything like, never throwing a party again that requires any kind of, like, parental input whatsoever. Like, like, I know, I know babies are going to come and, you know, like, that’s going to require some work and stuff like that, but, but I feel like now we have the experience to be like, no – [laughs] – and just walk away, like – because we, I, I realize that we should have shut a lot of things down early that we did not. That was our biggest takeaway from this.

Sarah: If I could give you a small piece of advice –

Alisha: Please do; you know I love your advice.

Sarah: – when you have babies, it’s much like a wedding: everyone loses their mind over the things that they think are so very important, and you have to do it this way, and you must way do it this way –

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: – and this is the way that you do it, and when you are blending two very different families and two very different cultures, all of a sudden things that they hadn’t talked about before become, like, the most important thing.

Alisha: Oh yeah! The most minor things became, like –

Sarah: Right?

Alisha: – huge deals, yeah.

Sarah: But I also found that when I had a baby it was a lot easier for me to set firm and clear boundaries –

Alisha: Hmmm!

Sarah: – because I was doing it on behalf of someone else, and it was my job to set boundaries for them.

Alisha: Mmm!

Sarah: And it was harder for me to set boundaries for me, because these were my parents, right?

Alisha: Mm-hmm. Right.

Sarah: Like, they installed my buttons; of course they know how to press them!

Alisha: Right, right, right.

Sarah: Like, they were, they were there for the install!

Alisha: Exactly.

Sarah: They know how to press all of my buttons.

Alisha: Exactly.

Sarah: Very low effort.

Alisha: Right. Right, right.

Sarah: But when I was in the process of thinking, okay, what are the boundaries for my child? I was like, okay, everyone’s listening to me and no one says a word. And everyone makes fun of bridezilla? No one fucks with a new mom.

Alisha: Yeah. That was the thing –

Sarah: Zero fucking with a new mom.

Alisha: I was like, you know, bridezillas are not made in a vacuum. [Laughs]

Sarah: Nooo, they are not! No they are not.

Alisha: It’s just, yeah. But I do not recommend – long story short – I do not recommend releasing a book back to back with, with a wedding. It was –

Sarah: It seems like a lot from where I’m sitting.

Alisha: It, it was a lot.

Sarah: And I was just a guest.

Alisha: It was a lot. Yes. Well, you were more than a guest. That is very – can I tell you, Kai, when we got back, said if we ever do anything with our families again, like a vacation or something? Sarah and Adam have to come with us?

[Laughter]

Sarah: Why? Just because we defused the tension, or we took out the trash? [Laughs]

Alisha: You – no, both things! You are very good at counseling us from losing our, you know, losing our, like, everything, because we, well, one, like – the day I, I kind of melted down was the day of our rehearsal, which was on Friday of the, of the weekend, and –

Sarah: Yes.

Alisha: – like, I was sobbing in the car outside of our – [laughs] –

Sarah: Oh no!

Alisha: – of our wedding venue? Like, and poor Kai is like, you know, trying his best, but didn’t know what to do? But we went to dinner that night, and then we saw you at the same restaurant. You were also getting a bite to eat –

Sarah: Yes, we were across the restaurant from each other.

Alisha: Yes. And so we came over and sat with you, and we talked it through, and we felt so much better afterwards?

Sarah: Ohhh!

Alisha: So you were really like our –

Sarah: I’m so glad!

Alisha: – like our emotional – [laughs] – support.

Sarah: We’re your emotional support wedding guests!

Alisha: Yes, you are, you are! And so after that Kai was like, they just have to come with us.

Sarah: Okay! All right, so I have a question: do you want to talk about –

Alisha: Yes.

Sarah: – the book first, or do you want to talk about the wedding first? ‘Cause I have some things –

Alisha: Books.

Sarah: – to ask about both.

Alisha: Oh, let’s talk about the book first.

Sarah: Okay. So first of all, I have done this three times on three different podcasts, so everyone who is listening –

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – is going to hear me say this one more time.

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: I owe you an apology: I fucking inhaled this book.

Alisha: Awww!

Sarah: I deep-gorped it. Like, I, you know how, like, you just unhinge your jaw and eat a, eat a sandwich? That was me with this book.

Alisha: Ohhh!

Sarah: I squeed about it on like three different Discords; I emailed Christina and Lauren and was like, oh my God, have you read this? It’s so good! It is so fucking delightful! You did an outstanding job –

Alisha: Ahhh!

Sarah: – and you know I’m that asshole who would be like, so let me tell you about the part I didn’t like –

Alisha: [Laughs]

Sarah: – which I’m not going to do! ‘Cause I frigging loved this book so much! It was so fun! I could not handle myself. It was brilliant!

Alisha: Oh, thank you! That makes me so happy!

Sarah: Point in fact, I also enjoyed your wedding, but let’s go back to the book. [Laughs]

Alisha: Right! [Laughs]

Sarah: Good job on all of the tasks all of this month.

Alisha: Right, right, right, right!

Sarah: How long have you been working on this plot? What inspired this one?

Alisha: Oh, you know, I’ve been working on it for about two years, and –

Sarah: Yeah, and you mentioned, I’m writing a heist –

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: – and I was like, oh?

Alisha: Yeah, I, I started writing it I think in, in 2020, sort of in the pandemic, and, which was hard because I was also working on books that were contracted at the time –

Sarah: Mm-hmm?

Alisha: – and this was not contracted? But –

Sarah: Oh, this was a, this was just for you!

Alisha: Yeah, this was just something I started on my own because I really wanted to write like a heist-y kind of, like, adventure book? It’s not really a heist! I would say it’s more of a caper. Would you say it’s – it’s got, like, heist elements?

Sarah: It’s a caper – hijinks.

Alisha: Yes! It’s got, it’s got hijinks? It’s very much like kind of Hangover-ish in that, like, you know, they’re, they’re trying to solve something and find something, but – so I started working on it, and I think that was just ‘cause I needed an adventure? Like, we went to – I’d never been to Las Vegas before; now I’ve been like a billion times – but I, I’d never been to Las Vegas before, and that was the first vacation Kai and I took together during the pandemic, because we went shortly before the pandemic, and so we hadn’t really gotten a chance to get away anywhere, so we went there and we stayed in a hotel room for like a weekend; that was it. We didn’t see anybody, we didn’t do anything, but it was such a wonderful, like, glamorous staycation, I thought, and I thought, you know, and, and after that, like I just kind of, every time we went I fell a little bit more in love with the city, and so I thought, I’ve got to, like, set a book here, and the only thing I could think of for the perfect book here would be like a caper. Like, something where it’s like, you know, Date Night-esque, Hangover-esque, where, like, they’re, they’re going from place to place; they’ve got to find something; you know, they’re looking for something. And so that’s where it started, and it just kind of came out of that, and I, I pitched it to my editor, and I said, initially pitched it as Indian Matchmaking meets Date Night, which in the end, it doesn’t have quite as much to do with – [laughs] – either, but that was the initial pitch, and she was like, okay!

Sarah: But it’s got that energy! It’s got that energy –

Alisha: It’s got that – yeah!

Sarah: – yeah!

Alisha: But, but in the beginning that’s kind of what it started as, and she was like, okay, I’m, I’m, like, game to listen for more! And so I, you know, I wrote up a synopsis and sent it to her; she’s like, I love this, it’s fantastic, and, and so we, we went from there. But it, it has been a long time in the making. I write a lot of my books, you know, I, I spend a lot of time and a lot writing a lot of books. I’m not as prolific as some other romance authors. Like, one a year is, is plenty, or even two a year is, like, pushing it for me, but, but this one has been in, in the stew for a while.

Sarah: And it’s very complex. There’s a lot of –

Alisha: It is –

Sarah: – moving parts to this plot.

Alisha: I had a, you know that, that meme from Always Sunny with the, with the string and the –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: That is what my office looked like.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Alisha: I had a bulletin board – I’m not kidding! It was like I was actually solving a crime. Like, I had, I got architecture paper from somewhere? You know, those big rolls? And I –

Sarah: Yeah!

Alisha: – rolled it, I unrolled it, and I taped it to the windows to follow along, yeah, to follow along with the plot, but it is extremely complicated. In a good way, I hope! Like, I hope –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: – it’s not so complicated that you can’t follow it, but –

Sarah: Nope.

Alisha: – but it is, it’s a, it’s a complex plot that had a lot of moving parts, and I’m not, you know, I, I write rom-coms that do, are complex, but not like that. Like, not where there’s also a mystery and –

Sarah: Right.

Alisha: – you know, things going on beyond the surface, so, so yeah, it was, it was a lot to keep track of, and –

Sarah: But usually your plots deal with either a big family secret or a lot of lurid –

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: – family drama –

Alisha: Right.

Sarah: – and how the drama affects everyone else, so this –

Alisha: Soap operas!

Sarah: Yes!

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: Very soap opera. This was not only –

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: – soap opera/family drama, both sides, but also –

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – a caper/heist/hijinks –

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: – pursuit. I mean –

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: – there was a lot going on in here.

Alisha: Yeah, there was a lot. [Laughs] Trust me, it was a lot! It was a lot to write it.

Sarah: Well done!

Alisha: Yeah, it was fun!

Sarah: Now, I want to ask you specifically about one element. I, obviously when a book is new I don’t do spoilers in the podcast, so –

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – we’re not going to go into spoiler territory here, but one of the things that is within the first few chapters is your heroine Mira has coping mechanisms. They’re not all healthy, but she’s –

Alisha: Yes.

Sarah: – actively engaged in the internal landscape of her anxiety, and I noticed that this is a common theme among a lot of your characters. You had a character with tattoos who would trace the tattoos as a way of grounding herself when she was feeling panic and anxiety. You have characters that work on breathing; you have characters that center themselves. And you have characters, especially in this book, that go to therapy!

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: And you have –

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: – you have a lot of work on the internal landscape of the characters and their struggles with mental health. So not only do we have family drama and a jewel caper, but we have mental health care, and also hot sex –

Alisha: [Laughs]

Sarah: – as a way of bringing the two characters together. Do you think about the mental health care aspects as you’re plotting, or is that something that just gets baked in because this is the way that you manage your brain?

Alisha: I think a lot of it is baked into the story, but there’s some things that I do very consciously. I mean, I try to write as consciously as possible in general, but, but there are definitely, when it comes to mental health things, I want to handle them as delicately and as respectfully as possible, so I do spend a lot of time making sure that, you know, I’ve, I’ve represented the character to the best of my ability. I have a lot of experience with anxiety, as you may or may not know – [laughs] – and I have –

Sarah: Funny enough, me too?

Alisha: – yes – I, I have a lot of experience with, you know, not having sort of a neurotypical brain? So I have, you know, that’s personal experience, but, but also, you know, I have, I have a lot of very great friends and, and family who, you know, talk to me about, you know, what’s going on with them, and, and that sort of, when I’m shaping a character, you know, I, I just, I take a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but I, I do do it very consciously and very deliberately. So – and, and I do think, especially, like, you know, adults today are very, very conscious, you know, of their mental health and of how they were raised and the trauma they carry from that and how it plays out in their life and with their new, you know, with their families, their found families, their friends –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Alisha: – their loved ones. I think it’s, it’s something that it weighs on a lot of people, and so I think it’s important to create characters who are adults now who, who also, you know, handle that. They also have to deal with that and, and have to come to some sort of, some sort of acknowledgement of that within themselves.

Sarah: Yeah. It provides a, it provides a foundation for the characters to grow, but also exhibit how much they’ve already grown.

Alisha: Mm-hmm. Yes.

Sarah: You’re, you, these are characters that are already working on finding their own best way to be, and then –

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: – the story is part of that, but it doesn’t start at the very beginning.

Alisha: Right. And it doesn’t start at the end, either.

Sarah: No!

Alisha: Like, we’re all, we’re all works in progress, and one thing that always used to bug me when I was single and which I will never ever say to any single person is that, oh, well, you have to work on yourself, you know, before you can get in a relationship, or you have to, you have to be okay with being single, or you have to be okay with being lonely. Like, you have to be, you have to be perfect before you can find somebody who loves you as you are, and that’s two contradictory messages.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Alisha: Somebody should be able to meet you where you are –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: – wherever that might be in your journey, and – as well as your mental health journey, so that’s really important for me to show is that, you know, they, they might have coping mechanisms, and they might be consciously going to therapy, but, you know, these are, these are just normal people who have normal people problems, and nobody is perfect.

Sarah: Nope. And nobody’s immune –

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: – from feeling anxious, either.

Alisha: Right, yes, absolutely.

Sarah: So, are any of the characters in this book going to become a sequel?

Alisha: Uh –

Sarah: You left, you left some sequel-bait doors open; don’t think I didn’t notice.

Alisha: There, there are some sequel-bait doors. Who do you think is going to become a sequel? [Laughs]

Sarah: Okay, sequel-bait characters – let’s see, can I say without spoiling? Just thinking about the plot –

Alisha: Maybe, maybe don’t say the name? Just say the relation.

Sarah: Okay, so there are, there is a sibling who could become a sequel bait?

Alisha: Mm-hmm. Correct.

Sarah: There is a, a, a friend –

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – who could become sequel bait? I mean, heck, I would read about the matchmaker. She sounds like a terror.

Alisha: [Laughs]

Sarah: She sounds like a terror!

Alisha: I think, she might be retiring soon, so we’ll see about her! [Laughs] So the, the sibling is who is slated for the next book, so I’m writing that now.

Sarah: Oh, and the, and the friend on both, there’s friends on both sides that could be sequel bait.

Alisha: There are friends on both sides.

Sarah: Her friend and his friend.

Alisha: Yes! Yes, yes! Yes. But it’s the sibling, it’s the sibling and possibly some other characters who are in there; you might see them. Yeah! [Laughs]

Sarah: Awesome!

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: Was Naveen inspired by Prince Naveen from The Princess and the Frog?

Alisha: [Laughs] No! But I, I have held for a long time that Prince Naveen from The Princess and the Frog isn’t Indian, you know, Rajah or whatever. You know, he is –

Sarah: Yeah! I thought that was established!

Alisha: No, they, like, I believe in the movie they gave him, like, some fake country? Like, he’s not Indian in the movie, but he has an Indian name and he looks Indian, but –

Sarah: That’s what I thought!

Alisha: – [laughs] – he’s not, yeah!

Sarah: Clearly, clearly I wasn’t paying attention to that name at all –

Alisha: No –

Sarah: – because I was like, oh, Naveen?

Alisha: Yeah!

Sarah: Naveen from –

Alisha: Yeah, it was like, oh my God –

Sarah: Because they have the same energy!

Alisha: Yeah, they do have the same energy. It’s, it’s, maybe subconsciously, sure, I did – [laughs] – ‘cause he is one of my favorite princes; I think he’s very cool.

Sarah: He’s, he’s just a relentlessly cheerful guy who screws up?

Alisha: Yes. Yeah.

Sarah: And they have that positive sort of, okay, I’m going to keep going, I’m going to keep going; I’m going to do things for other people; I’m going to figure this out; I’m going to keep going. And, and he’s very optimistic. They have very similar energy.

Alisha: Naveen is probably more, like, inspired by a lot of attorneys I know who –

Sarah: Really!

Alisha: – have, you know, like, he has kind of a silver tongue; like, he can kind of talk his way out of any situation. When he can’t talk his way, I mean, that’s when Mira comes in –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: – so, like – [laughs] – you know, to get the big guns out. But he, he has very much a silver tongue, and I do know, you know, he has had to deal with stuff in the past that I think a lot of attorneys have to deal with, in terms of –

Sarah: Yep.

Alisha: – mental health and –

Sarah: Yep.

Alisha: – in terms of substance abuse and things like that? It is one of the professions that has the highest rates of alcoholism, so – and, and it’s not, it’s, like, functional, right? Like, he’s still functional, and, and he had to sort of go through that. So yeah, I would say he’s, he’s probably inspired by a lot of attorneys – maybe sexier than – [laughs] –

Sarah: Little bit.

Alisha: So, so yeah, I think, I think a lot of that was pulled from my legal experience, so, of knowing that that’s what a lot of attorneys have to deal with, and the high burn out and everything like that, so.

Sarah: Oh yeah. And Prince Naveen.

Alisha: And Prince Naveen possibly, yes.

Sarah: I think so. Just say it was.

Alisha: [Laughs]

Sarah: Oh yeah, absolutely.

All right, so, wedding questions.

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: What were your favorite memories of the wedding?

Alisha: Favorite memories of the wedding.

Sarah: Do you remember it? I swear it happened; I saw the whole thing.

Alisha: I do. I have – no, no, I have so many – before the wedding you told me to take a snapshot –

Sarah: Mental snapshot, yeah; I give this advice to a lot of people.

Alisha: – of, like, one, of one moment –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: – and I took, I tried to take so many? Like, I got greedy?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Alisha: And so I think one of my favorite moments was when we, our grand entrance where we came in and there’s a tradition – Kai is Liberian – there’s a tradition – and Ghanaian – and there’s a tradition with, it’s called the lapa, where, like, you know, the aunts come forward with, like, their cloths and, you know, they kind of rub, yeah.

Sarah: Yeah, they rub you with their cloths.

Alisha: And we, like, we, like, dance with them, we walk on the cloth, and so it’s, it was like a, it was such a, like, warm and loving tradition that I hadn’t really experienced before, and I was like, wow, this is amazing, ‘cause I love, I love to dance. You know, like, we all became pretty close over the weekend, and so I was like, this is so, like, such a loving, accepting tradition, and I loved it so much. I think our first dance is a memory that we’re going to keep?

Sarah: Uh, that was incredible?

Alisha: [Laughs] Yeah!

Sarah: It was a whole montage? You did a montage.

Alisha: We did a, we did a medley of three songs, and it was choreographed, and I’m sad that we don’t get to practice that dance anymore, ‘cause we practiced for months for that dance.

Sarah: Oh yeah, absolutely; it showed!

Alisha: So we were like, we should take, we should take dance lessons now so we can keep, like, dancing or something, ‘cause we really enjoyed it.

That’s a memory. I think – yeah, there’s just so many great memories I can’t – it was, like, just dancing with everyone, like, I, our goal in the beginning was to have a wedding where people were dancing till the end, and we got that.

Sarah: Yes, you did.

Alisha: Like, people were on, on the dance floor, on their feet, from beginning to end, and that was –

Sarah: Yep.

Alisha: – really, really cool. Just to have that dance floor packed was so fun. Watching, watching Kai do the Kid N Play dance with his brother I think was – [laughs] –

Sarah: That was adorable!

Alisha: Or watching my nephew, like, he was, he was doing, I don’t know, he was doing some dance, and it was the cute –

Sarah: Whip and Nae Nae.

Alisha: Oh yeah, he was doing Whip and Nae Nae, yeah. And he was –

Sarah: And he didn’t realize, ‘cause he was facing the DJ –

Alisha: So he didn’t know he was –

Sarah: – he didn’t realize that everyone was watching him.

Alisha: In a semicircle, yeah.

Sarah: He was the, he was the showcase, and we were all –

Alisha: Yeah!

Sarah: – he didn’t have, he just, he was just getting down!

Alisha: Yeah, yeah, he loves it! I mean, he’s, he’s like nine years old and he, he was just, like, killing it on the dance floor.

Sarah: Oh, it was amazing!

Alisha: But yeah, there’s so many minute, like, moments. Or, like my older nephew doesn’t, like, he’s very somber and serious, like he’s like a little man in, in, you know, kid’s clothes, and at one point, like, we were doing, we were doing some dance, and I looked over at him and I smiled, and he, like, gave me the biggest, cheesiest grin back –

Sarah: Aw!

Alisha: – and I was like, oh! That’s, like, something I’m going to remember forever, I think.

Sarah: So I have to tell you something about –

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – the mehndi and the Hindu service.

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: So we were at a mansion –

Alisha: Yes. [Laughs]

Sarah: – and you found this on Airbnb?

Alisha: Okay, so I found this on Peerspace.

Sarah: Peerspace?

Alisha: Yeah, so Peerspace –

Sarah: What the hell is a Peerspace?

Alisha: Peerspace is like Airbnb for events. So you can’t have events at Airbnbs –

Sarah: Ohhh!

Alisha: And so Peerspace or Giggster, like, they are services designed to let you rent a place for a party for a specific amount of time. And –

Sarah: Ahhh!

Alisha: – I found this mansion on there, and I thought it was wildly, like, it was like three hundred dollars an hour, which for the market in, in the other comparable –

Sarah: That’s very reasonable.

Alisha: Very reasonable for that, for that area, for the size of the house. I mean, the house was –

Sarah: Full kitchen.

Alisha: Full kitchen that we – and no rules, really. It was like, you know, seventy-five people max was kind of like a loosey-goosey guideline. No age restrictions; no, nothing about, like, serving, like, no restrictions on serving alcohol, which we didn’t really serve, but it was fine; no restrictions on anything! Like, you could do whatever you wanted, and it charged like kind of a hefty cleaning fee, but I was like, well, it’s a mansion in Vegas; I’m sure they have to clean up a lot of stuff, so –

Sarah: And it was white. White floor –

Alisha: White –

Sarah: – white walls –

Alisha: – white everything.

Sarah: – white everything!

Alisha: Everything was white.

Sarah: Everything was white!

Alisha: Everything was white, and, like, when we got there it was almost like somebody – like, a lot of these places are, like, staged places; like, they’re not places people live?

Sarah: Oh yeah. Staging, when my house was staged to sell it was like aliens that matched their patterns lived in my house with me –

Alisha: Right!

Sarah: – and it was really weird.

Alisha: And this was like a staged place, but there was also, like, when we walked in on, in the front of the bar, all of these, like, bottles of very fancy liquor were, like, arranged, and they were like half drunk, and I was like, that’s kind of weird. So we put those liquors away, ‘cause we’re like, I don’t think we’re allowed to touch these. I don’t want to deal with, like, someone drinking it by accident, so we put them, like, to the side, ‘cause I didn’t want any issues with it. They were really accommodating; they let us come in early to set up at like 7 a.m., and then we went and changed afterwards, which is its own stress.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Alisha: But they let us come in early to, to, you know, set up; they didn’t charge us for that time. We, we were supposed to leave by 4; we didn’t leave by, until 5 because, you know, it took a while for, to get everybody out the door and clean up and everything, and I had texted them around 3:30 and I was like, hey, we’re going to be an extra hour; if you want to add an hour to our booking that’s fine with me.

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: And the guy texted me back and he was like, ah, yeah, no problem. I’m going to be there in like twenty minutes, so you guys just do your thing. And I was like, okay. All right, cool. And so it was all like a little weird. Like, everything was a little bit like, this seems odd, and the guy just introduced himself as the property manager, and that was it.

Sarah: Yes! He didn’t even tell, tell me his name, ‘cause –

Alisha: No.

Sarah: – I was there very early; I was there early –

Alisha: Yes, you were!

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: You were like our, you were like our chief coordinator that day –

Sarah: [Laughs]

Alisha: – ‘cause you were the only one – I was like, and I was so glad I had told you to go early, ‘cause, like, we had some family drama, there were fights, and so, like, we were late, and Sarah was there, like, directing our caterer. I was like, I heard Sarah in the background; my priest called; the priest called and he was like, hi, I’m here to set up; I don’t see you; I don’t see your sister yet; and – ‘cause we were the two points of contact for him – and I hear Sarah in the background going, hi, I’m Sarah; I’m in charge.

Sarah: [Laughs] Until you got there, yeah!

Alisha: And, and as he –

Sarah: Well, the thing is, if you tell Adam be somewhere at 11:30? He will be there.

Alisha: He will be – yeah, you were like –

Sarah: At 11:30.

Alisha: – I called you at 11:20 and you were like, I am eight minutes away. I will be there.

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: And so he, Sarah, like, got him set up, and I, and I said to the priest, yep, that is Sarah, and she is in charge.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Alisha: He’s like, okay, I’ll talk to Sarah. And, and he, like, you, you set him up beautifully and showed him where to go and everything, so I was very, I was very grateful for that. I was so glad you were there. And then by, at the end of the party, my brother-in-law comes out, and, like, we were not – like, there was a mud room there that we were using the fridge in because something had happened with the fridge in the kitchen, and so –

Sarah: Oh, they, I asked: they cut the water line? The water line to –

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: – the main fridge got – and for the record, the space for the fridge was, like, massive. This, this was, this had to have been two fridges.

Alisha: Oh, I wish that fridge – yeah. I was –

Sarah: It was, it was enormous, the space available for the fridge.

Alisha: I wish, like – and, and he was, like, really apologetic. He’s like, I’m so sorry you have to use this back fridge, and we’re like, that’s fine. And so my brother-in-law went in there and, like, happened to notice – or was snooping; I don’t know; he’s a curious guy – happened to notice a, a flyer, like, tossed in the recycling bin, and he noticed the name on it, and I will not say the name on it –

Sarah: Yes.

Alisha: – because I, I do not want to blow anything up, but it was a rather famous sports person –

Sarah: Very famous sports person.

Alisha: – that, like, even I, like, even I know who it is –

Sarah: Yes.

Alisha: – and so he came out, like, running. He’s like, have you seen this? And we’re all, like, gathered around looking at it, and then my friend Ali goes, guys, there’s Ring cameras all around here. They were, like, hearing and, you know, seeing what we’re doing right now. And so I was like, drop it!

[Laughter]

Alisha: So he dropped the thing on the floor. There’s, like, a photo of it on the floor. But, but yeah! Like, I don’t know, I don’t know if –

Sarah: We were partying in a famous person’s house!

Alisha: Ooh, I got married – well, religiously married – in a famous person’s house! [Laughs] So –

Sarah: Yes! Conveniently –

Alisha: – it was –

Sarah: – with a lot of taxidermy and Ganesha!

Alisha: Yeah! Oh yeah! That was the other thing! Like, when we walked in, I had bought like a little Ganesha, like, cutout for, for the actual ceremony, like, as décor? And we walked in and there’s a huge, giant stone one just sitting in the –

Sarah: Massive! I was like, did you put this in the car? This is really heavy! Who’s carrying this out?

Alisha: Yeah! And, like, I was like, does an Indian person own this house? And then my friend goes, there’s, like, taxidermied animals anywhere, everywhere. I think it’s just –

Sarah: There was so much taxidermy.

Alisha: I think it’s just – yeah.

Sarah: There was an absolutely astonishing amount of taxidermy involved in this house.

Alisha: [Laughs] I think so! So I was, she was like, I think it’s a white guy who just thought it was cool, and sure enough, that’s probably what it was.

Sarah: Yes, yes, it was.

Alisha: I mean that was the, the thing that we were talking about later is that, in a lot of ways, like, our parents, like, actively hindered us in a lot of ways, like in getting this done? Just because of their own anxieties.

Sarah: Of course!

Alisha: Like, it’s not because they were trying to sabotage us or anything like that, but their own anxieties about us being able to pull this off and, and their doubts about us really –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: – were challenging? But the only reason, like, both days came out perfect, our Hindu ceremony and our, you know, Western ceremony, were because of our friends. Like our friends showed up, like, showed out, like, helped us in every way. You especially, Sarah; like, you – [laughs] – like, you were our day-of coordinator that day. Like, we don’t know how we would have done it. Because I think I assumed that there wouldn’t be like somebody trying to, like, hold us, you know, trying to throw wrenches in the process, and there were a few people trying to throw wrenches in the process?

Sarah: Yep. And because –

Alisha: But –

Sarah: – we’re friends, I’m not a member of your family, I don’t care!

Alisha: Yeah, yeah.

Sarah: I’ll just be like, I need – I think Adam took the trash out like twelve times.

Alisha: Yeah, he was very much on top of the trash. [Laughs] Which was very helpful!

Sarah: And, and, like, he was like, I’m going to put this in here. ‘Cause, you know, he’s, he’s, we’ve done enough entertaining, and his mother’s always entertained?

Alisha: Yeah!

Sarah: He always talks to his mom on Sundays, so I actually took the earpiece out of his ear and stuck it in my ear and was like, Charlene! Hey, it’s Sarah. Now, first of all, I don’t talk on the phone, so there’s this long pause, and she goes, Sarah? I’m like, yeah! I have to tell you, I have to tell you how proud you should be of your son, because he went in –

Alisha: Yes!

Sarah: – we set up the food, we cleaned up, he took out the trash. He was, he was just doing everything, didn’t need to be asked –

Alisha: He was a rock star, yeah.

Sarah: – didn’t even, like, what do I need to do? He just, like, stepped in, took out the trash.

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: Well, then we told her that, whose, whose trash we were taking out –

Alisha: [Laughs]

Sarah: – in this house, and then I remember: so the hotel was very, very nice. The toilet paper at the hotel, not so great. Not great toilet –

Alisha: Oh really!

Sarah: – the toilet paper in the hotel –

Alisha: Oh, okay! I didn’t notice that!

Sarah: – not my favorite –

Alisha: Okay, all right!

Sarah: It was very, very thin. But the toilet paper at the celebrity’s house, that was some high quality Charmin. So I just want you to know, we stole toilet paper. We, we just rolled –

Alisha: You!

Sarah: – some toilet paper, took it back to the hotel –

Alisha: I’m so proud of you!

Sarah: – and, and it was my idea! Like, of course, you know, I’m married to an attorney; he would never think of minor larceny of toilet paper. I’m like –

Alisha: Hmmm.

Sarah: – we should take some of the toilet paper. Yes!

Alisha: That’s –

Sarah: So we now have a square of commemorative toilet paper –

Alisha: [Laughs]

Sarah: – in our house.

Alisha: I, I will be honest: we did keep that recycle mailer.

Sarah: Yes! Excellent! I’m very proud of you!

Alisha: [Laughs] So you’re in good company; we all did it a little bit, but we were just like, oh my God. It was, I, I was so, like, that day was probably the most stressful day for me, and I was so happy when it was done, and I thought, the next day will be smooth sailing, and then it started out –

Sarah: DIY is hard! It’s very hard!

Alisha: DIY, DIY is very hard, and, and like I said, I think if, you know, it hadn’t been made so challenging, I think it would have – like, we were, we had planned; we had over-planned, like, everything, like including going there so early in the morning. Like, we had the chips set in the bowls; like, we had everything ready to go.

Sarah: Oh yeah!

Alisha: Yeah, like, everything – so I was like –

Sarah: We walked in, and it was like five people, and everything was like eighty percent done. We just needed to –

Alisha: Yeah, yeah!

Sarah: – put chips in –

Alisha: You just – and then, and then greet everybody, which is like thing –

Sarah: Yeah!

Alisha: – which is a huge thing, so, like, so grateful again that you were there. It was quite an event. It was quite a weekend.

Sarah: It was beautiful!

Alisha: But the events were made possible by our friends. Like, we are one hundred percent like, yeah. I, I said, we are so lucky in the friends, and the friends and the siblings we have. Like, my older sister, Kai’s older brother, like they really, really were like big siblings this time. Like, they really took over and did a lot of stuff.

Sarah: Oh, I want to tell you, you had the temporary tattoos at the, at the mehndi?

Alisha: Oh, yeah, these were good!

Sarah: These are so good! These are so good!

Alisha: Yeah, aren’t they amazing? So I got those from an independent henna artist in San Diego. Her name’s Gopi Henna, G-O-P-I H-E-N-N-A, and she sells those on Etsy, and they’re her own artwork, and they’re really amazing. I’m glad you used one, ‘cause I thought nobody used them. I was like, there’s so many left!

Sarah: Oh no, me and, me and Sasha did, both of us.

Alisha: Oh good! That’s good to hear.

Sarah: I didn’t want to take too many ‘cause I wanted other people to have, but I love this thing!

Alisha: Oh great!

Sarah: I love it so much!

Alisha: Oh good. I’m so glad you like it, and it’s lasted a long time, huh? It looks like a real tattoo –

Sarah: It does!

Alisha: – actually.

Sarah: It does; it looks really good.

Alisha: Yeah, it looks really kind of –

Sarah: Yeah!

Alisha: Oh wow! Okay, cool!

Sarah: Is your henna still on?

Alisha: Yeah, mine is still on. It’s starting to fade now –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: – but it’s still, still there.

Sarah: Gorgeous.

Alisha: I, like, I’m going to be a little bit sad when it’s gone. I was thinking maybe taking like an element from it and, and make, having like a real tattoo on my wrist or something from it?

Sarah: Oooh!

Alisha: Just as, like, a memory, but we’ll, we’ll see. I’m, I’m trying to figure out which piece I like or what I would want from it.

Sarah: Ooh!

Alisha: Yeah. I, I mean, I have photographs from it for my wedding though, so it’s not an issue of someone recreating it, but yeah, my henna artist was fantastic. Her name was Jasmine in, in Las Vegas; like, Divine Henna I think is their – I couldn’t post anything that week ‘cause I was so stressed out and tired and everything, but now that I’m back I’m going to share things, and I’m really excited to share the vendors that we really loved, ‘cause I think that they were mostly independent and, and all, to a fault, like, amazing. Like, all, all small businesses, family-owned things, except for our main wedding venue, and except for the – well, I guess even the place we Peerspaced was – [laughs] –

Sarah: Well –

Alisha: – just not owned by, maybe not owned by somebody who needs the money? But maybe not getting –

Sarah: Yeah!

Alisha: – maybe not getting, maybe not getting that money as we possibly –

Sarah: I did google the address and found it on a wedding website for someone who’s getting married on the 28th of October?

Alisha: Oh, okay!

Sarah: It said, venue change, and then that he’s – I, I almost emailed them and I was like, listen –

Alisha: Be careful!

Sarah: – it’s going to be great, but just be prepared that you have to use the fridge in the laundry room; otherwise, everything’s great.

Alisha: Yeah! [Laughs]

Sarah: What books are you reading, if any, that you want to talk about?

Alisha: Mm-hmm. So my next book is The Christmas Wish by Lindsey Kelk? I’m doing an event with her in December; I’m very excited about that. She seems very lovely.

Sarah: Is it weird that there are things that happen after your wedding?

Alisha: Yeah! It is a little weird that things are, like, the world continues to turn and –

Sarah: Yeah.

Alisha: – I’m not at the center of it anymore. [Laughs]

Sarah: No. I remember very clearly, I got married on May 28th, and I remember very clearly saying to Adam at one point, do you know there’s going to be a May 29th? Like, that’s literally a day! [Laughs]

Alisha: Yeah! There’s going to be a whole week after this. And then a month, and then a year? Like, the world’s going to keep on turning; it’s weird. But yeah, so that’s happening in December. I’m very excited about that; she seems lovely online. We’re, like, Instagram buds, so I’m going to read that next.

I also have Sally Thorne’s Angelika Frankenstein Makes Her Match, which I just got. It came in the mail during, during my wedding, and it looks adorable. It’s based on her – or her inspiration was her little Gothic mini dollhouse?

Sarah: Yes. I’ve seen it on Instagram –

Alisha: Which I –

Sarah: – it’s amazing.

Alisha: But the last book that I read that was amazing was Sonali Dev’s The Emma Project, and it’s part of her, her four-book kind of Pride and Prejudice series, and it’s, it’s very good and very excellent.

And oh! And also Elissa Sussman’s Funny You Should Ask, which is, I know, like a BookTok sensation, but it’s, it’s great. I really love it.

Sarah: Awesome!

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: Where can people find you if you wish to be found? And then I have one more thing to tell you.

Alisha: I always wish to be found! And they can find me on Instagram @alisharaiwrites, they can find me on TikTok @therealalisharai, and less so now, but they can find me on Twitter @alisharai.

Sarah: Okay.

Alisha: Or just go to my website.

Sarah: That’s fine.

Alisha: Yeah.

Sarah: All right, so you know I end every podcast episode with a bad joke.

Alisha: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: I have a very specific joke that I’m going to tell now instead of doing it in the outro.

Alisha: Okay!

Sarah: You ready?

Alisha: Yeah, tell me.

Sarah: Did you hear about the Indian restaurant that has their employees sign a legal agreement that they won’t share any recipes?

Alisha: No. [Laughs]

Sarah: It’s their naan disclosure agreement.

Alisha: [Laughs] Sarah!

Sarah: I know, it’s so bad, isn’t it?

Alisha: Oh, groan! Groan, groan, groan.

[Laughter]

Sarah: I found that and was like, ooh! I have to use that for Alisha’s episode! Oh, I could tell it to her while we’re recording so someone can hear the groan as opposed to just making the groan noise themselves!

Alisha: Groooaan!

[Laughter]

Sarah: Thank you for doing a podcast so soon after your wedding!

Alisha: Oh, no problem! You know I love to talk to you. Thank you for being, helping solve multiple fires! [Laughs]

Sarah: No problem!

[music]

Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this week’s episode. I already did the joke. How bad was the joke? Did it make you groan? I mean, it made Alisha groan; that’s why I saved it for her. [Evil laugh]

I will have links to all of the books we talked about and all of the places where you can find Alisha in the show notes at smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast, and I will link to her Instagram and her TikTok videos if you would like to see her henna up close. It’s really gorgeous; like, I couldn’t stop looking at her hands, which is a really creepy when you’re having, like, drinks with somebody and you just stare at their hands the whole time? I couldn’t help it; it’s really gorgeous. And I will like to all of those places in the show notes as well.

On behalf of everyone here, we wish you the very best of reading. We will see you back here next week.

Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.

[end of music]