Just a Little DDOS Fun, Dildos, and Finding the Mystery Cowboy

No Ordinary Duchess
A | BN | K | AB
If you’ve noticed CloudFlare verifying that you’re human, that’s because I had to enable extra security because of a DDOS attack.

I also woke up to 1500+ spam email messages sent through contact forms on the site, too. The poor server is having A Time of it.

If it's Tuesday There Must be Dildos - computer generated dude with a goofy grin looking down at a woman whose neck is rotated more than 180 degrees

At least it’s not Tuesday, I guess? Then I’d have all those dildos to contend with.

(Also: every time I see that cover, my brain wants to read it as “Elizabeth Lowell,” which it is not.)

So apologies for the strange screen when you visit. We’re trying to convince bozos with nothing better to do to move on to better hobbies. And, honestly, it’s a romance website. What do you win by knocking it offline? Like what even is the point, here?

The Playboy Sheikh’s Virgin Stable-Girl
A | BN | K
Tariq, the Playboy Sheikh with the Virgin Stable Girl, would be very disappointed to know of this behavior.

I’m pausing content that would have gone up, and rescheduling other things, and it’s a boring holding pattern. So it seems like a good opportunity to ask: Hayadoin?

I’m very excited because while doing some housekeeping in the archives, I found the cover that features the illustration of the cowboy I couldn’t identify but knew I’d seen before.

Back in the December 1997 issue of Romantic Times, there was a full color collage of cover models as part of a contest to find new ones. And this cowboy was really familiar to me.

A shirtless man in a leather vest and long leather gloves, flexing his abs over low cut jeans and chaps. He has floppy blonde hair

I knew I recognized him. We snarked the cover in March 2005. 

It’s Leigh Greenwood’s Jake. 

In related news, I feel very, very old.

Here’s the French cover, which is delightful.

The French cover of Jake by Leigh Greenwood which features a shirtless man with a cowboy hat down on his upper back kneeling and leaning into a blonde woman in a blue dress hiked up to her thighs, and the sky is BRIGHT red behind them.

Either the sunset is really opulent, or there’s a wildfire nearby and they might want to pick another location to go to bonetown.

Speaking of older covers, tomorrow the podcast and visual aids for the Ads & Features of the 1988 issue of Romantic Times goes up, and WOW was it fun to go trawling for 80s romance covers. The expressions on the models’ faces make it seem like sex is really unpleasant and uncomfortable, but it was indeed the style.

Take this one for example:

A blonde woman with a lot of split ends wearing the puffy shirt from Seinfeld and a long skirt is sitting on the lap of a guy whose shirt she is grabbing, and both of them look miserable.

Is it O Face or is it Indigestion? Who can tell?

You could make a pretty awesome set of pepto bismol ads with old O Face covers, I think. Jake definitely wants to help with your upset stomach.

It’s a really fun episode and accompanying post – wait until you see the swamp aerobics couple.

Thank you for being patient with the extra security. I’m hoping to turn it off next week. (And I wish Diarrhoea, with the UK spelling because it has extra vowels, upon whoever is making the server sad!)

So what’s new with you? Hayadoin? 

Add Your Comment →

  1. flchen1 says:

    Hugs! So sorry you’re having to deal with this frustration! Another set of people who really should be turning their irritating powers to good instead of this!

    And LOL at all the old school covers! I still have a few of those in my piles!

  2. Jazzlet says:

    A scifi fan site I visit from time to time was having DDOS attack recently too, in the scheme of possible targets neither of you seem obvious. Sorry for the trouble it is causing you.
    ,
    I’m doing pretty well I think, my meds are being adjusted and so far this is a Good Thing, I’m far less sleepy when I’m awake and am sleeping far less too – more time to read! Well when I’m not devising new ways to make anything edible inaccessible to our newish-to-us dog, who is very good at getting at food where ever it is; she was found straying so she is pretty food focused. She hasn’t managed to get hold of anything dangerous to her, but we now have a fridge lock after the great cheese heist, and we can’t leave anything on the counters or table unless we are in the room.

  3. JoAnn says:

    So sorry! Hate spam emails. On a positive note just read Devil’s Cub by Georgette Heyer. What a great story. I read These Old Shades a while back and plan to find more of her books.

  4. Taylor says:

    Booooo that spam! Hope it gets resolved soon.
    We’re in a stress zone of upcoming US elections and four grants due around then, and turns out kids still need dinner most days, and elderly parent still needs care. Being in the sandwich generation is FUN.
    Fingers and toes crossed that we still have a function country in a month.

  5. Ely says:

    How am I doing?

    This feels like the place where I can share something that I managed to avoid for 4 forking years during COVID, but somehow finally did last week. I thought I’d turned off screen share on zoom, so I was clicking around in my internet browser and closed some browser tabs, thus showing off read.amazon.com. Which was open to my extensive kindle collection of shirtless men, aliens & monsters. Thankfully (I think), it wasn’t a work zoom call – it was office hours for my master’s degree. And I had been showing the professor of my subject a problem I was having with an assignment. So my professor and multiple students in my course saw it. I’m really, really trying to be all I’M NOT ASHAMED TO READ SMUT, but I also really don’t want the person grading my assignments to know that I was most recently reading “Wrangled by the Alien Rancher”.

    So yeah, that’s how I’m doing.

  6. Kareni says:

    How frustrating to be subject to a spam attack, SB Sarah; my sympathies to you.

    I am well. Any fellow players of the National League version mah jongg here? After the Charleston, my first tile drawn today gave me a mah jongg. That was fun!

  7. Susan/Dc says:

    I always thought the cover of Hanya Yanagirhara’s A LITTLE LIFE showed someone who had stomach flu, but turns out it’s a photo of someone experiencing an orgasm. Never would have guessed.

  8. wingednike says:

    Doing well, but tired. Work has been a little extra in the office but I like most of my coworkers and have been trying to do some morale-building activities.

    Mammogram went well and got the all clear email in just a few days.

    I’m listening to “Happily Never After” and enjoying it very much.

  9. Kris Bock says:

    The mammogram of comment reminded me – This is pretty cool. You can join a breast health study that includes free genetics testing if you choose the personalized recommendations options. You have to fill out some questionnaires and give them access to your mammograms, but for those of us who have “dense breasts” or other risk factors (like never breast-feeding children because we don’t have them) it could be helpful for us, as well as helping others with the science. It was in Dr. Jen’s Vajenda Substack. It’s explained here with the link to join at WISDOM study.

    https://www.thewisdomstudy.org/learn-more/

  10. Sarah says:

    I am doing okay. Stressed an upcoming procedure. Unsure what color to paint my fingernails!

    Sorry about the DDOS thing. What a pain!

  11. Jiobal says:

    What a fun way to react to a really stupid situation! As to how I’m doing: I Just received official confirmation of disability die to migraine. This is both helpful and affirming, in a surprisingly surprising way: wait, I’m actually sick and it’s not lazyness or Something! So, I’m doing fine being chronically ill, I guess? Cuddling cats in the sun, right now, actually.

  12. gerund808 says:

    Ugh how frustrating. My life is the usual work/kids/life business. However, I discovered &Juliet the musical and it’s delightful. It’s coming to our area next summer and I can’t wait to take the hubby and girls to see it. I’m listening to the original Broadway cast recording until then and it’s a great mood booster.

  13. Vicki says:

    Sorry you are dealing with this. Though it is reassuring every time they decide I am human.

    I recently had a 70 something birthday and your dildo cover reminded me of it. I went to the Bay Area and spent the night/day with a good friend (who was also my late husband’s first wife). We got to talking as we elder women do and she found out I’d never been to a sex shop. She took me over to Good Vibrations where this absolutely darling young man showed us around. It was so educational! I learned so much which, given that I have spent a certain amount of my life talking with teens about sex, consent, contraception, was really great. She also bought me my first dildo! I guess I should bronze it and keep it on a shelf in my bedroom?

  14. Melody Prime says:

    I read the last line to my partner and he said “I hope they have an extra bad vowel movement”

    Not even a dad and he’s so strong in the dad jokes. Lol.

  15. Kareni says:

    @Vicki: happy belated birthday! The birthday jaunt with your friend sounds like great fun.

    @Melody Prime: he is strong indeed!

  16. denise says:

    How awful about the DDOS attack.

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