Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Rachael: I have so many questions:
Does she not want him to save her from what looks to be an alligator?
Is that alligator okay? His hips seem off.
Should his gun be that close to the water?
Why are they casually having a moment in this clearly dangerous water??!!
Did they keep their shoes on?
Sarah: She’s a shifter. So is the gator. That’s her brother and she has to talk him out of shooting the gator because again, brother.
Also, how come his shirt is wet at the neck and pits but his pants, which are IN WATER, are dry?
Sneezy: I respect alligators and crocodiles the same way I respect bears and moose – from far, far away.
Sarah: That cover is so disturbing to me. Every time I look at it I get a low-grade ick.
Amanda: Yeah, the shoulder area in particular.
Sarah: Looking again, yup, still ick.
Sneezy: My ick is how OBVIOUSLY COPY AND PASTE they are! THIS IS LITERALLY THE LARGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS DESIGN!
From Lillian P: Green with fish scales? Red belly and abs? Floating in space? And red and yellow font for the title.
Sarah: Someone got reeeeally excited about learning how to use textures in Photoshop.
Amanda: As someone who owned snakes and has touched many a reptile, I don’t know how I’d feel about sexy time with someone with scales.
Sneezy: I’m really into snake people, but only if they have hemi-penises. What’s the point otherwise?
Also from Lillian P: Not one, not two, but three floating aliens all checking themselves out?
Sarah: I’m so sorry I cannot stop laughing at this. It’s so funny. They’re all so pensive! Glowing swords and kilts and a wee-wee stare-off.
Claudia: Oh man I feel we’ve done this one but maybe all the wee-wee staring is blending together!!
Amanda: They all look like they’ve fallen asleep standing up. Like horses.
Are the double dare women conjoined twins? That would be new, I guess.
Why does fish-guy not have scales on his abs‽‽
@Kate Rose – that was my thought as well. I mean, it worked for Chang and Eng Bunker.
At first I thought that was a giant pickle in the water with the bodyguard, until I saw the legs.
My problem with Double Dare is not so much the copypaste ladies as what is that house doing there? And what is she doing with the house?
So that last one, are those three guys the mates, and it’s a triple M/M/M? Is it a menage with the three of them and one mate? Is it three separate stories? How many mates are we talking here, mate?
Ok, did anyone else think that the shoulder strap on “wed to the alien warlord” is a sly snake?
I also just read the author’s name and I don’t know why but January bell somehow…. disturbs me? Idk
Oh, is that SUPPOSED to be a sly snake? Huh. Ok. I guess that’s why the strange scales? :p
sorry! I should have commented all in one!! but that last cover about all three checking themselves out is just lolol.
Did anyone else get ninja turtles vibes with the alien guy? Like I feel if he turns around there’d be a shell?
No, she is not Safe In Her Bodyguard’s Arms If that’s not a gator shifter, that bodyguard sucks at his job. However, the guys in Captive Mates look like they’re checking what’s in the water before they wade on in -or looking down at the gator that the front guy has just dealt to with that glowing green sword.
And what exactly is the “wee wee stare off” pose supposed to convey on covers? From the number of them out there the publishers must think that’s what we want? I don’t know whether to be amused or bemused!
The three guys are looking in their pants to see if the titular captive has escaped.
That poor alligator on the 1st cover has no hind feet. His legs just taper away to points.
I strongly suspect the guard on Alien Warlord’s sword would constantly gouge the hand of anyone holding the hilt, which might just affect their concentration and ability to maintain a grip on it.
The front dude’s sword on Captive Mates is obviously the kind of ridiculous plastic sword you get at toy stores or with cheap and cheesy Halloween costumes. If the other 2 guys have the same sort of rubbish, they might all be looking down in mortification.
re: Captive Mates
This is the pose immediately before the marching band show commences at a major competition. This is the color guard. I would totally pay ten bucks to watch these guys toss their swords around.
Captive Mates–does anyone see the middle guy as Michael Phelps?