Welcome back to Cover Snark!
Elyse: Did they just glue someone else’s head onto this body ?
Tara: I’d need a drink, too, if that happened to me.
Sarah: “And you may ask yourself, how did I get here?”
Sneezy: Remember when Roman men used to sculptures of their heads on top of whichever sculpture of young, buff, homoerotic bodies that took their fancy? Well, they at least got the same lighting?
From Emily: All I can think of when I see this cover is the time my dad was watching a variety show circa 1980 with a “whistling bellybutton” act. I never forgot it. Amazingly, I have found a documentary about the performer on Youtube.
Sarah: Imagine if the cover belly buttons all started whistling!
Amanda: The true wonders of the human body never cease to amaze.
Sarah: It’s the human form of a surprise emoji.
Sneezy: Awww man! Why didn’t he paint his belly? Commit to the belly face, come on!
From DiscoDollyDeb: Whoever did the typesetting for this title needs to turn in their Adobe license while writing “people read from left to right” 100 times. Not gonna lie, I originally read the title as THE FLUFFY STALLION, and I had images of a beribboned pony gamboling through the fields. The book’s actual title is FLUFFING THE STALLION—which engendered a series of thoroughly different images.
Sarah: The title is FLUFFING the STALLIOn?! NO it is NOT. That’s not what the cover says!
Amanda: The FL points directly at his nip and the FFs going into his armpit.
Sarah: Nips and pits. Also that FL looks like Pi. The Pi-ffing stallion!
Amanda: Okay but DiscoDollyDeb said it is what it says on the tin and I’m curious.
Sneezy: Maybe he’s a horse shifter? A centaur’s lover? The fluffer working on the set of a kelpie porn star?
From Jen: Are those green rocks growing out of his shoulder and arm? Is it gangrene? So confusing.
Susan: Wait, is that green lyrium, instead of red lyrium, like from Dragon Age?
Amanda: I just imagine the love interest trying to run their hands over his shoulders and getting sliced up on those radioactive crystals.
Sarah: His aesthetician must HATE when he books a brow wax.
Sneezy: “My usual aesthetician couldn’t see me before my vacation, and the person who waxed me wasn’t experienced in crystal brows. Ripped out both shards on one side. It’s going to take so long to grow back. 🙁 “
@Amanda: Based on the blurb for FLUFFING THE STALLION (even I didn’t feel prepared to take one for the team by actually reading it, lol), the storyline is EXACTLY what it says (or at least what it thinks it says) on the tin: a p*rn star and his fluffer fall in love.
Is dude #1 wearing an illusion tank top?
The second Maggie Hemlock cover made me do a doubltake–It legit felt like two bodies have been glued together. does anyone else see it?
I was going to say the same thing about the Maggie Hemlock cover! Does the guy have two sets of elbows and an extra long neck? This distracted me from the belly button.
On the Maggie Hemlock cover, I didn’t notice anything odd about the belly button, but I can’t get over those ghostly hands coming up out of his pants and going for his boobs.
@Juhi and @Kate Rose – yes! There is something very odd about the arms and elbows on the Maggie Hemlock cover. It definitely looks like two bodies glued together to me too.
I really, really, really need everyone to know that one of the Amazon reviews for “Fluffing the Stallion” praises the stable relationship achieved by the main characters.
I tried to leave a comment from my phone, but a spinning ad in the lower right got in the way of typing. And I accidentally clicked it and lost the comment. lolol
So I’m back from the laptop.
Boss: chest hair color doesn’t match the beard, too
Guardian: just not a bare chest pose I find attractive–would rather the head be cut off
Fluffing: somehow I saw an H and thought it was The Huffing Stallion
Alien: those waves emitting from his shoulder are just unnecessary
Totally thought it was Huffing the Stallion, in its own way potentially even worse.
“I don’t always pose for romance novel covers, but when I do I make sure to borrow a body that looks better than mine. Gaze deeply, my friends.”
Re the whistling belly button, in 2018 there was a very funny act on America’s Got Talent called Yumbo Dump. The look on Simon’s face after the first sound is priceless!
@DiscoDollyDeb, thanks for the laugh, that cover and your comment made my day!
According to one of the most memorable episodes of “Bluey”, “fluffing” is an entirely different action than the one used on porn movie sets (as one can imagine…). Bluey, Bingo and Mom Chilli are totally grossed out when Dad (Bandit) fluffs them in a small space. Aussies, what did YOU think when you saw the title “Fluffing the Stallion”?
Boss of Attraction: definitely a head-swap, as the chest hair doesn’t match the head hair (however, bonus points for actually having chest hair on a cover model!).
@Betsydub, I’d forgotten about that sense of the word “fluffing”! As it was, I didn’t immediately think of the po-n sense of the word and had a mental image of someone giving a shaggy horse a blow-dry.
When I was a kid, we called a squeaky fart a “fluff”. So that gives “fluffing the stallion” another meaning
It also looks like The Flubbing Stallion. Poor blundering pony.