Welcome back to Cover Snark!
Sarah: I am cry laughing at this expression.
Lara: No lord why! That’s not the vibe, Julie Anne Long!
Elyse: He totally farted just now
Kiki: Ew.
Not at farts, farts are fine. This facial expression on the other hand…
Claudia: Oh man the series is good but they also had the uncanny valley cover (woman in a green dress) not too long ago, what gives!!
Kiki: This is particularly disappointing because she looks so beautiful. It was so close to being a really wonderful cover and then…face.
Elyse: Have we done this one?
Amanda; The peek-a-boo nips all blur together after a while.
Sarah: Spoiler: the nipple is the one who fights dirty. #pew #pew
From PamG: No pecs on this one, but he’s smokin’ anyway.
Sarah: Taking my glasses off would probably not be my priority if my facial hair and forehead were on fire, but hey, what do I know?
Carrie: Glasses are expensive and usually not covered by health insurance in America so maybe he’s just really budget conscious.
Lara: I realise there are bigger issues going on in this cover but that flimsy bit of building in the top left corner is not up to code.
Tara: This one is so stupid that I actually love it. I hope the book’s contents are just as bonkers as its cover.
Shana: This is what happens when the heroine is so hot that she melts your face off.
Amanda: This reminds me of the other biker cover where his name was Poodle.
Pocus.
Elyse: This makes me think about how when we get two kittens at the rescue we give them cutesy names like Hocus and Pocus. So I can only speculate that Hocus was already adopted.
Sarah: His eyebrows are working so hard.
Kiki: Pocus. Poke us? I’m realizing this is the first time I’ve ever seen the word pocus all by itself.
Season of Scandal dude has a strange blob on the middle of his forehead that sort of looks like hair but doesn’t look like hair.
Mr The Nine has really wrinkly hands, like chimpanzee hands. Perhaps a side effect of the burnination? Anyway, I find them offputting.
Thanks to all! These made my morning – especially the wooden pose and (partial) facial expression of the guy on the Fight Dirty cover. A guffaw, that would be embarrassing in public, is always welcome!
Thankfully I had swallowed my coffee!
Fight Dirty. “Look! Dis is my nipple. And that is my belly button. It glows in the dark.”
My Season of Scandal: I don’t know the dramatic date–somehow I always assume it’s Regency unless there is a very obvious hoop skirt–but I am quite certain the lipstick brush had not been invented yet. Puts me in mind of those Bernadette Banner videos where she fixes romance-novel covers to make them match the text.
Fight Dirty: Seriously, now, did some publisher commission a marketing survey and thereby learn that an exposed male nipple makes any book jump off the shelf and into the buyer’s cart? The way that all gothic novels are required to show a distant house in the night with a light in just one window? No, I tend to think it’s more akin to those makers of TV ads who fervently believe that any mention of a percentage, no matter how implausible–“47% less blowback!” “72% whiter!”–will wipe out the viewer’s critical faculties.
The Nine: The Judas Files Book One: If book one is nine, what is book two? Eighteen? Ten? Eight? Eighty-one? Ocean’s Nine, anyone?
Pocus: I’m with Elyse. Does the back cover say Hocus, and if so does the spine say Dominocus? Or does POCUS stand for some black-ops quasi-governmental entity?
Is it just me, but does Mr. Pocus remind people of Ringo Starr?
Re Fight Dirty’s series title: Blood, Sweat & Kisses. Thanks but no thanks. What makes him think grotty is sexy? Shower first, dude.
My friend’s husband has what I call Resting Douche Face. I’ve never met him in person and I have no reason to think he’s anything but a good guy, but in every picture I’ve ever seen he looks like a half-tanked frat boy laughing at his own idiotic prank. Not quite the same expression as the JAL cover, but the exact same vibe.
Mr Scandal remind anyone else of Jeff Foxworthy? “You might be a rake if…” In any event that face suggests he’s “up to sumpin’.”
Maybe POCUS is the object here; that biker is in the competition to take down Donald Trump, the official Piece Of Crap of the US.
My Season of Scandal: Maybe his smirk has something to do with the fact that no arm is coming out of his sleeve. “Wait till she finds out she’s holding a severed hand.”
“The Nine” is like a morph of Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake’s “D**k In a Box” bros. So that would make “The Nine” a reference to Mr. Burning Man’s…?
That Season of Scandal smirk is for “Wait ’til she finds out about…”
• My regimen for mercury salts — every hour, on the hour
• My history as a not-so-dashing-at-all highwayman
• My lower-class origins (I stole the identity of a shipmate who drowned)
• My illiteracy and opium addiction
My Season of Scandal: his head looks unnatural in placement and size, probably photoshopped.
Fight Dirty: Want a peek? (he probably has that creepy laugh)
The Nine: he’ll set you on fire just like the building he torched.
Pocus: Glamour Shots yearbook photo for bikers.
“My Season of Scandal” is just an eyebrow tragedy all around. Her brows are inexplicably choppy while his appear to have been microbladed by a novice brow artiste who hadn’t learned yet when enough is enough. So sad.
Does anyone know the name of the cover model for “The Nine?” 100% serious, I’m fairly certain its a Tinder guy I, ahem, met with once.
Omg, these comments are killin’ me! I just found this site and it is fantastic! I am crying I am laughing so hard.