It’s here! It’s finally open! Now all I need is $200,000! This month’s Romance Wanderlust takes you to The Maldives, where The Conrad Maldives Rangali Island Hotel Muraka Villa is open. The Conrad Maldives includes beach villas and water villas, but The Muraka features an underwater bedroom. As ever, this is not a review nor an endorsement, and in real life if I had this much money I hope I’d use at least some of it for the greater good, but that will not stop me from daydreaming about staying at The Muraka which looks AMAZEBALLS.
The Muraka is actually two stories, with the upper story being above water. The above water part has two bedroom suites, each with their own bathrooms, and something called a “nanny room,” a phrase I had never heard before today. There also quarters for a butler and a “security detail.” Apparently The Muraka can fit nine people not counting staff but how do the nine people choose who sleeps downstairs?
- The answer is ME. I SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS. I DO.
The “downstairs” is about 16 feet underwater. It’s basically a bedroom and a bathroom inside an acrylic bubble. It has a coffee maker and wifi, but why does it not have a copy of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas? Honestly, I think they dropped the ball there. However, they make up for it by allegedly putting the best view in the bathroom. It’s like they know me.
In order to book a room, you have to fill out a contact form, after which “a representative will be in touch to discuss your experience.” Technically rooms are around $50,000 per night but you have to get a four-night $200,000 package which includes a butler, a personal chef at your service, transport via private sea plane to the main resort and then via speedboat to The Muraka, and other things that I can’t think of because I’m not sufficiently rich (see: “nanny room” for something I would not have thought of). The actual details vary because your people call their people and set up an individualized package tailored to your whims.
I was feeling a tad superior about the inclusion of a TV set because who would go there and watch TV? Then I realized that you could watch Jaws, or, for that matter, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (not a typo – the book and the movie actually have slightly different titles). You have to book the place for four days, after all. You probably HAVE to watch Jaws. I bet it’s in the fine print when their people send the contract to your people.
For a cheaper package, the rest of the resort is nothing to sneeze at. Note: there’s a sea turtle at 7:40 min into the below video. Just so you know.
There are, as I mentioned, beach villas and water villas, which are built on stilts over the water, so DUH of course I’d like the water one, please. In addition to being able to walk down a few steps into the water straight from your private villa (YASSSSS) you get free chocolate. Each villa has its own butler. What would I possibly need one for? I don’t know. I’m not rich enough to know.
In closely perusing the video above, I believe I saw ocean sunsets as well as, HELLO, Nutella waffles? Also you can eat at the underwater restaurant without staying in the underwater room. Lunch is $210. Mere pocket change.
I told my husband that I need $200,000 and he looked in his wallet and found $60. We are currently looking under couch cushions. I’m sure we’ll collect the funds at any moment. Stand by.
Other than videos and assorted news clips, my sources were:
https://www.conradmaldives.com
See you next time with another dream destination!
Before I book this vacation, I’m going to need their people to contact my people and explain what the underwater security is like. Because I don’t want to be soaking naked in the tub while watching Finding Nemo only to look up and see a scuba diver with an underwater camera outside my acrylic bathroom bubble.
Also, is there a discount if I book it for a full year, or would I have to pay $18,250,000?
Amazeballs is the perfect word. Even though the video is for promotional purposes, my first thought was, “But there’s no one to share it with.” And my second thought was, “How great that a woman booked this place all for herself, you go, girl.” And now I want to watch FINDING NEMO along with Deborah and Carrie S, after helping hoover up the spare change, because that would be whatever follows amazeballs.
I think I’d need assurance that their underground Windows are well caulked! I think if I go, I’d most likely be quartered in the nanny room.
Jaws 3 would be the film of choice, along with Deep Blue Sea, as each film features a scene in which a shark breaks through an underwater window (Deep Blue Sea has better effects; Jaws 3 has a romance subplot featuring a young Dennis Quaid)
You just know that someone who is homesick for the Slytherin Common Room has already stayed there .