Caption This Cover: Cow Edition Winners!

I can't tell you the number of times I heard or read, “Sarah, that isn't the REAL COVER, is it?”

Oh, yes, it is, cow and all. Nothing says erotic romance like a stress cow, and nothing relieves big stress like the captions you came up with!

Honorable Mention goes to:


Everyone said “Why buy the cow when the milk's free?” but Buck knew that there was more to Elsie than just dairy. There was BEEF!! – Inez Kelley


Gotta love a man who is not lactose intolerant! Even if he has to carry a plastic cow to prove it. – Carol


Seared by the fire of his passion, would he ever get enough of her tender loins? – Ceci


His milkshake brought all the girls to the yard. – Sabbyc72


They say milk helps strengthen bones, but it was the cow that had Frank's bone growing strong. – LJmysticowl


If you rub it, I will come. In herds. – Jenny Lyn


The Kobe spa day was getting better and better. – MissB2U

Save a horse…ride a cow. – Melonie Johnson

She'd save the horse for later, for now she'd ride the 'cow'boy for all he was worth. – Kael

Ferdinand wasn't sure what was happening but he was going to make sure that the dude knew he didn't swing that way. No way was he grabbing this bull by the horns. – Marc


First runners up, who are so close to the awesome:

I carry this cow around to show that I am hung like a bull! – Gwenkirchner

Other djinn had caves, lamps, or even bottles to rest within between wish-granting gigs. Omyad had a plastic cow. Sometimes, a genie stranded on a sweet widow's dairy farm in the middle of Wisconsin has to do what, and who, a genie has to do. – Tina C.


Rafe was pretty sure “moo-ning” meant dropping your drawers, and he tucked his thumb in the waistband of his boxers to get ready. But he brought along a cow just in case. – Booklight


Great cheese comes from happy cows. Happy cows come from him. – Christina


Well played Christina! Please email me at sarahATsmartbitchestrashybooksDOTcom to claim your winnings, a $25 gift card to the bookstore of your moo-sing, I mean, choosing. 

And thank you to Joanne, who sent me the cover and helped us create the hilarity up in here. It was mooovelous! 

Comments are Closed

  1. Beggar1015 says:

    If you think about it, whoever did do this cover was pretty smart. It certainly caught all of our attention, it stayed in our memory, and I wouldn’t doubt there were some who had to buy the book just to find out what the hell the cow had to do with the story. Brilliant marketing.

    (And thank goodness no troll patrol had to fling buffalo chips around because we were having a little fun snarking at a book cover.)

  2. April says:

    Great job, everyone! I’ll remember this contest for a long time to come. Thanks for the mammaries.

  3. Lindleepw says:

    So I didn’t get around to commenting on the originial post but I did read this book way back when. I really liked it. And for those who were wondering yes, the cow is a prominent theme throughout so the cover makes sense.

  4. DAMMIT! I’m only just now realizing I could have totally made a joke about the hero of the story damn well proving he is NOT all hat, no cattle.

  5. Christina says:

    Woohoo! Thank you! I’m udderly delighted to be in such great company of winners.

  6. Laura says:

    Thank you to all who contributed, that thread made me laugh harder and louder than I have in ages.  I snorted, I inhaled beverages, I giggled until it hurt.

  7. Asia Morela says:

    Congratulations to the winner!! A very funny edition 😉

  8. Jenny Dolton says:

    I laughed. Really hard. Thank you, lovely captioners. Definitely needed that tonight!

  9. Tina Chaney says:

    Thanks for my 1st runner up and CONGRATULATIONS to Christina!  May you be as happy as a cow with your new books!

  10. MissB2U says:

    This stuff makes my day!  Thanks for the chucklefest!

  11. JoanneF says:

    You’re welcome, Sarah.  My first reaction at seeing this cover was WTF?  Second reaction?  Must share with the Bitchery!  Thanks for the moo-mories, ladies!  As usual, you have surpassed all expectations.  I was very moo-ved.

  12. This cover reminds me of a storyline on All My Children (1970-2011).  A few years back, this girl named Babe joined the show and she loved cows, so Jamie stole her a cow doll.  I just picture this guy as Jamie.

  13. Melonie Johnson says:

    This was so much fun! I loved reading all the comments, they provided plenty of giggle-snort moments.

    Whoever said the cover works because it sticks in your mind is right – while in the shower today another caption came to mind…it was too late to add it the list, but I still must share:
    “Mommas don’t let your babies grow up to do cow porn.”

    And yes, I should be embarrassed to admit I was thinking about 1/2 nekkid men carrying around toy cows while I’m in the shower – but most of my strange thoughts happen in there.


  14. The Other Susan says:

    Shoot, Melonie.  Now I’m hearing Willie Nelson singing “Mommas don’t let your babies grow up to do cow porn” in my head! 

  15. rebeccaJ says:

    Did anybody read this book because I’m wondering the ‘significance’ of the cow (if there is such a thing;) has been explained? If so, PUHLEEZE explain it to me!

  16. Jenny Lyn says:

    Oh, I’m “udderly” delighted with my honorable mention. 😉 Sorry, I just had to go there. I was curious about the book too so I went to Jana’s website.

    “Jana’s first book with Ellora’s Cave is called Her Last Fling and is a fun tale of a woman who no longer wants to be ‘free milk’. Katy’s looking for the real thing—a gorgeous hunk to buy the cow. Her hero is just that guy—or is he? Because truth is, all Noah’s looking for is a good time fling. So how’s Katy going to convince him to wipe off his milk mustache and realize what they have is so much more than just sexual attraction?”

    A twist on “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. It’s brilliant, and funny!


  17. Maria510maria says:

    I will freely admit I had to download a sample based on the truly wtf cover if only to discover why ol Bessie was so prominently featured.

  18. SB Sarah says:

    How are you liking the sample, Maria? Have you read it yet?

  19. MissFifi says:

    I read an excerpt and the whole cow explanation is in the first few pages.

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