Caption That Cover: The Last Airbiscuit

So thanks to many people on Twitter and in my email inbox who helped me with my lost cover image of blue flames from naked man ass. It’s honestly surprising that I would misplace such an epic piece of WTFery. But you know what’s even more surprising? How many flames emerge from various asses on book covers! There are a lot of combustible backsides in romance cover land, y’all. I’m not sure what that says about us, other than we like Hot Ass.

There’s regular flame:


And blue smoke:


Blue and green smoke in the front, but not the back:

Book Cover

And swirly gas that’s sort of greenish (I think when you can see your own farts, it’s time to see a doctor):

Book Cover

But alas, none of these were the blue flaming naked man ass that I was looking for. It was blue! It was flaming! And it was most definitely naked man ass. Then, thanks to @quellthesparkle and @lauren_fraser, I have FOUND the cover now permanently known in my brain as The Last Airbiscuit. You ready?

Feast your eyes on this!


Book Cover

There are blue flames shooting out of a naked man ass! I am so glad my memory didn’t do me wrong, though my eyeballs are really quite put out with me. So, what is there left to do but have a contest!

It’s time for Caption That Cover! In the comments, leave your best caption for the Blue Flames of Naked Man Ass (aka The Last Airbiscuit) and I’ll pick the winner. Winner will get $25 gift credit at the book store of her choice, and, of course, the people’s ovation and fame forever.

Comments will close in 24 hours. You’re welcome to pimp your favorite in the comments and yes, you can enter the contest more than once. What, with blue flaming ass gas, I would limit you to one entry per person? Puh-leez. Standard disclaimers apply: I am not being compensated for this giveaway. Rode hard, put away wet. If there was a problem, yo, I solved it – or Twitter did. Contest open to international entries. Void where prohibited by law. Void where inhibited by raw.

Have at it – and thank you to everyone who pitched in to help me find the flaming blue naked man ass. You have my eternal flaming gratitude.


General Bitching...

Comments are Closed

  1. Deb Kinnard says:

    Does this guy also have a lavender arrow on his forehead? One wants to know!

    And what is it with EC and all these dayglow flatulence covers? Sheesh.

  2. Finally! The fact that I basically live with ebooks comes to something.

  3. RebyJ says:

    Wolf ” No way they can blame ME!”

  4. Jessica D says:

    “Gargamel’s Triumph.”

  5. Kellie says:

    His “Blue Man Group” audition was a little ‘over the top’…

  6. Marty says:

    “Better Out than In, I say”

  7. Susan Reader says:

    “Blue Halloo”

    also works as

    “Blew Halloo”

  8. Castiron says:

    Every wolf bitch taught her cubs that blue flame is good, but yellow flame means debris in the pipe.

  9. Amanda in Baltimore says:

    As Kevin searched through the methane swamp for his lost love, he wished he hadn’t had that second helping of beans.

  10. Marty says:

    Oh Here’s a Menudo flavored Capshun

    It’s an EXPLOSION, my Love for you! That keeps my love ALIIIIVE!
    It can even be this pics theme song

  11. Lori says:

    “Dude, I may be your best friend, but even I’m not sniffing your ass.”

  12. Chris says:

    Feel the burn! So strangely, soothingly blue…

  13. Linda Henderson says:

    I kind of like “A Crack Of Blue” or “Blue Smoky Ridge”

  14. Jason says:

    The Jewels of Ursus cover should be renamed ‘Silent but Deadly’

  15. M says:

    Wolf: Yo quiero Taco Bell my flaming blue ass!

  16. queenmama says:

    Natural gas: clean, economical, and sexy.

  17. KimberlyR says:

    What happens when wolf and man are bound by a mysterious arctic anal flame…

  18. ironlesbian2 says:

    Dude, you are not sleeping In the cave with the pack tonight! No more blue corn tortillas with beans for you.

  19. Pamelia says:

    Great, just great.  How am I supposed to put THIS out?

  20. Sarah W says:


    Breaking the Blue Zephyr

    Gas Lamping Romances presents: Lord Zorch and the Blue Angel

    Breaking Badder

    Buns of Fire

    The Devil Takes the Hindmost

    The Wind in the Willows

    Cold Hearts, Hot Winds

    Music of the Night

    Colons of Love

  21. First thing that popped into my champagne befuddled head—hey, don’t judge, it’s my birthday—is this:

    Blue Moon

    As in “Bluuuue moooooon, you saw me standing alone….”

    Sorry. Someone had to sing it.

  22. ev says:

    Beans, Beans the musical fruit…

  23. mlsky says:

    Man: Dammit! I was going for rainbows and unicorns, not this blue flame of whatzit.

    Wolf: Yeah, dude. Whatever.

  24. AlyssaCole says:

    When the alpha saw the blue ass flames erupt into the cold winter’s night, he knew that the prophecy of Montezuma’s Revenge had come to pass…

  25. JaiKaies says:

    I want to read The Last Airbiscuit now *L0L*

    Here’s the best I’ve got for a caption:

    Man: I’m so ashamed…
    Wolf: Sorry, what? I was sidetracked by the blue flames shooting out of your @$$

  26. hapax says:

    @Maree Anderson—

    Okay, now you’ve inspired me:

    Devil with a blue ass, blue ass, blue ass
    Devil with a blue ass-gun!

  27. Wolf says, “If you think the rear view is bad, you should see the mess going on in front.”

  28. Sarah W says:

    Love it!
    I think my caption has got to be:

    “Yes, I’m so hot I sh*t flame!”

    He does sort of seem like he is admiring himself in the lake.

  29. Vicki says:

    He knew, if he could just find his lost ice princess, that he could make sure she was Never Cold Again.

    The cure for frigidity: a hot ass.

    On a sadder note, one of my brother’s friends burned his own butt trying to light his own methane….

  30. Meg says:

    “Six foot two, ass of blue, flamin’ for you, love me true…”

  31. WooHoo! and women complain about a Brazilian wax!

  32. Tamiris says:

    He turned away so she wouldn’t notice his blue balls, but little did he realize…

  33. Jen K. says:

    The source of ultimate power of protection against wolfkind comes from a spell I call gluteous gassius.

  34. Lynz says:

    I knew I should have passed on eating that Tinkerbell…

  35. nate says:

    That’s not hemorrhoids; that’s blue love, baby!

  36. Circebee says:

    OK, how about “sure, blame the dog”. Or “Flame Mullet- business in front, party in the back”!

  37. hapax says:

    Oh, jiminy Christmas, I just skimmed the reviews at Amazon, and found the author’s response to negative ratings.  So I have to add another caption:

    “Only one star?  Behold my butthurt!”

  38. JaiKaies says:

    …It seems that blue flame cannot be extinguished by water of the same shade. *scribbles madly in scientific notebook*

  39. Andee says:

    The Mating:  Skipping all that smaltzy romance crap and going straight to the electric blue dutch oven. 

    Bonus Wolf caption:  Dude, I think you got some on me.  Not cool.

  40. Sophie Taylor says:

    “John, this is an intervention. You’ve gone a little too far with this whole lighting-your-farts-on-fire thing.”

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