Personal Ad Contest, Part Whatever

Yadda yadda yadda IT’S FRIDAY and it just so happens that my steel sieve of a mind is not quite as sieve-y as normal, so we get a personal ad contest today. WOOOOOOOOOT. First person to correctly guess the title, author and heroine’s name will get a brand-spankin’ new Smart Bitch aristocratic title—and for a small fee, a brand-new spankin’ is also available to go with the title. We’re generous like that, we are.

Ready, set…GO!


Scarred young miss with a talent for horses seeks OMGHOT man for one night of passion. Why? Because my husband obeys the Law of the First Husband’s Wang, which states that any non-hero dude married to the heroine in a romance novel must suffer from some sort of erectile disorder. I need to get pregnant FAST, because if I don’t, my husband’s heir will inherit and he’s in a creepy cult. (Seriously, if we were in an episode of The Simpsons instead of a Georgian era romance, the dude would totally be humming “Nananananananananananananananana LEADER, LEADER.”) Are you the right man for me? I prefer them cute and heavily concussed from carriage accidents.

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General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Kelly B. says:

    Is it Secrets of the Night by Jo Beverley??

  2. 2
    Kate says:

    Secrets of the Night by Jo Beverly and the heroine’s name is Rosamunde Overton

  3. 3
    bam says:

    Okay, I should get this one because it’s Secrets of the Night by Jo BeverlEy

    and the heroine is Rosamunde Overton.

    (does the first entry not count because Kate misspelled Beverley? *grin*

  4. 4
    sleeky says:

    I would be bummed, if I hadn’t already gotten a title with Beverley’s _Devilish_.

  5. 5
    Kate says:

    I would dispute that my correct answer should be disqualified for want of a vowel. It didn’t say anywhere in the rules that the Title, Author, or Heroine’s Name actually had to be spelled correctly.

  6. 6
    darlynne says:

    Finally, a book I’ve read. But could I THINK of the title or anything else? N-O-O-O-O.

  7. 7
    bam says:

    I would dispute that my correct answer should be disqualified for want of a vowel. It didn’t say anywhere in the rules that the Title, Author, or Heroine’s Name actually had to be spelled correctly.

    *stroking chin* Hmm…

    JUDGE!

  8. 8
    Lisa says:

    It is not misspelled to the point that we can’t identify which author she was talking about, though… hm… Reminds me of the art teacher who took off 5 points for each instance in an essay test that we misspelled chiaroscuro. 80% of the class flunked, btw. Because of that one word.

  9. 9
    Kate says:

    I think we should all get credit for spelling the heroine’s name correctly. Jo BeverlEy’s novel was the first and only time I encountered someone named Rosamunde

  10. 10
    Candy says:

    Dude, Kate’s our Winnah! Wooooo Kate!

    (Spelling errors count in this contest only if they’re egregious.)

  11. 11
    bam says:

    *sobbing into hands*

    I’ll never win!

  12. 12
    Carrie Lofty says:

    I love the word egregious now because of Johnny Depp. And I don’t love the word chiaroscuro. Congrats to Kate!

    Baroness Huntinne-Muffine

  13. 13
    Sarah Frantz says:

    I love the word Chiaroscuro because of that amazing Paula Cole song of the same name. 

    Congrats to our new peer.

    -Baroness Bacqueseate

  14. 14
    Tania HC says:

    I love the word cuntmonkey. heh heh.

    Congratulations Kate!!

    Marquisse de Swissheboucle

  15. 15
    Candy says:

    Bam: Baby, you’re a winner—IN MY PANTS. Where it counts the most. You hot Pinay bitch.

  16. 16
    Emily says:

    Just once, can’t the non-hero-hubby get a break? And a boner? Please? Even just a little one? Doesn’t even have to last all that long. Give him a chance.

    Congrats Kate!

    -Principessa de la Flarte/Baroness Bumpton-Ugleye

  17. 17
    bam says:

    Bam: Baby, you’re a winner—IN MY PANTS. Where it counts the most. You hot Pinay bitch.

    Awww, you’re just saying that.

    Candy, you say the nicest things to me. I love you. *sniff*

  18. 18
    Kate says:

    Oh WoW! I’m honored, humbled, and beyond excited! The only thing that would could me happier was if the Hoff came to San Diego for a book signing!

  19. 19
    bam says:

    Kate, I live in San Diego too. 🙂

  20. 20
    Lisa says:

    Bam, I will NEVER win because SBTB is firewalled at my work, so by the time the ads are posted and I get to them, someone else has already guessed it! My life SUCKS!

  21. 21

    Congrats, Kate!

    And bam, never fear.  Someday you’ll leave the unwashed masses and join the ranks of the peerage. 

    Graciously,

    Darlene, Duchess Twitterpants

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