All right, everybodies, are you ready for what the real
fake title was out of the mind-boggling list?
*drumroll*
It was….
SILKEN SAVAGERY!
I was tricksy with this title, because there IS a Harlequin Presents entitled Silken Barbarity by none other than that inimitable doyenne of Harlequin Presents, Violet Winspear. But as far as I could determine (by the Power of Google, I have the powerrrrrrrr… to look up moronic titles), there’s no HP—nor ANY book—called Silken Savagery.
So: Good job, Shayera, Nicole and Angelle! I assigned numbers to the three of them, and using a random Javascript number generator, the winner is….
Angelle!
I’ll e-mail you the gift certificate later today to the e-mail address you provided. Unless you want me to e-mail it to another address, in which case, contact me (candy @ smartbitchestrashybook.com) before 12 p.m. Pacific time today.
One of the other titles was a fake-in-disguise, though, and it was entirely my fault. See, when I was looking up titles, I saw The Boss’s Virgin, but Amazon.com had it listed as Boss’ Virgin. Stupid me, I didn’t bother to check the cover to confirm the title. They’ve since added the ‘s to the title, but notice how the possesive ‘s is capitalized. Ha. I’ve noticed that other “The Boss’s [insert female sexual state or occupation here]” titles have also been amended using the same weird capitalized S at the end. Heh.
Anyway, I feel really, really bad about that title, so there’s a runner-up prize of a Smart Bitch title for one of the five people who made it their guess. And the winner is….
Katy! Yay Katy! Behold, thou art crowned:
Those of you going “NUH UH! NO WAY is that title real!” here are assorted links to all the others, proving that yes, at some point in time, the marketing department at Harlequin thought it was a k-rad idea to name a book “Bedding His Virgin Mistress.” Go ahead and boggle your minds some more, my pretties.
Enter My Jungle
Thai Triangle
Dearest Demon
Angry Desire
Bedding His Virgin Mistress
Blackmailing the Society Bride
The City-Girl Bride
The Sheikh’s Virgin Bride
Brittle Bondage
Time of the Temptress
Tender is the Tyrant
The Deserving Mistress
His Virgin Mistress
The Judas Trap
Strange Intimacy
Boardroom to Bedroom
The Sex War
Satan’s Contract
Satan’s Master
Gold Ring of Revenge
Adam’s Rib
Thanks to all for playing, and try not to keel over laughing at some the covers, eh?
I just want to say? That Tender is the Tyrant is totally the sweetest title ever. It? Makes. No. Sense.
What’s next? Gentle is the Rapist? Happy is the Pedophile? Jocular is the Terrorist? Jovial is the Serial Killer?
Sweeeeeet.
All everybodies, are you ready for what the real title was out of the mind-boggling list?
You mean fake title?
Sorry. Thoughts of little Freebird have us all discombobulated. I got a really bad night’s sleep in Sarah’s honor.
Congrats to the winners, but color me stunned over some of the titles that turned out to be all too real.
The man titty covers are bad enough, but how would you like to ‘splain to people that your newest book is titled Bedding His Virgin Mistress?
Arrrrrggghhhh.
I meant real fake title.
Yes.
Uh-huh.
That’s what I meant.
‘Scuse me. I need to go hit my head repeatedly against the wall now until I learn the definition of “real” and “fake.”
And E.D’Trix: YES. It belongs to the same category as those gawdawful oxymoron titles, like “Gentle Rogue,” “Tender Savage” and “Considerate Megalomaniacal Fascist Dictator.”
Congrats Angelle!
Ooph…those are ALL bad titles!
how would you like to ‘splain to people that your newest book is titled Bedding His Virgin Mistress?
Darlene –
So with you. Had the same horrified reaction. Yikes.
E.D’Trix, you’re missing the whole subtext of the title. You see Tender is the Tyrant is totally supposed to be one of those “office romance” books where he’s supposed to be her boss and all, and she’s supposed to be this shy little mouse of a secretary, but in reality he likes to be dominated (but with silk bonds, dahlin’) and she has a thing for leather garters. The editor or the marketing department head for this book was having an affair just like that when s/he got the manuscript and said, “Hey, perfect title! My submissive loves to call me Tender Tyrant. It’s perrrrrfect!”
When in reality, Violet Winspear (which cannot be a real name), was screaming no! How will they ever see that it is really about “…Young Lauri Garner [who] had been with the renowned di Corte Ballet Company only a short time when she fell in love with its powerful director, Maxim di Corte. But Maxim was only interested in making her his prima ballerina – no matter what the cost. (#1208)” and Maxim is into being dominant! (And using Lauri’s toe shoes for naughty, naughty things beyond just tying her up with the laces.)
Sadly, neither point came across and in the the year 2005 (28 years after its release) we’re left wondering, “Hey, is this the dictator lit we’ve all been hearing so much about?”
L
I have no words. None. At all.
Congrats to the winners!
terri
I’m still smirking that Enter My Jungle was an actual title. I allllmost guessed that one, but then figured it was so bad it had to be real. (Same thing goes for Thai Triangle).
Is there someone at Harlequin employed with the job of making up titles? ‘Cause it would be hilarious, don’t you think, to have these little words and suggestive things you sneak by the censors and laugh about when you see them actually in print at the store. I’d be congratulating myself for years for getting Enter My Jungle out there.
Violet Winspear (which cannot be a real name)
I’ve always thought that, too – even when I was a kid and had no idea what kind of books she wrote. It’s vaguely suggestive, isn’t it? Kind of like a watered down version of a porn star’s pseudonym.
I figured Tender is the Tyrant had to be real, because it’s such a horrid rip-off of the Fitzgerald novel, Tender is the Night. The literary snob in me is still not completely over the shudder I get when some of the categories try for that kind of echo, but at least I’m over the surprise.
I’m right there with you, Robin. I had the exact same thinking process over that title as well as for Adam’s Rib.
“Is there someone at Harlequin employed with the job of making up titles?”
I hope so because I want to apply. I used to think the most fun job in the world would be coming up with names for lipstick and nailpolish colors but this sounds even more fun!
Off to practice now…
“Love’s Golden Shower”
“The Modest Dictator”
“His Savage Secretary”
“Climbing Bliss Mountain”
“Sweet Sociopath”
“The Pregnant Virgin Quaker Dominatrix”
Congrats on your win, Angelle!
Shoot, DebR, I wanted to apply, but I see from your list that your titles would be so much better than mine. I think if there’s a person with that job now she is totally missing out on a golden (shower) opportunity – what a waste!
How exciting! I never thought I would get a title. I spend too much time reading about viticulture, biochemistry and other assorted fun-ness to read many romances any more. Almost every Friday though, I treat myself to a trip to the bookstore, and a couple of hours of trash reading. Its research, I swear, for when I don’t earn enough at a real job and start writing.
I feel very special….
I appreciate that one of the links had a short excerpt:
How has this not been reprinted yet?? How?
And…sorry to break it to the Sheik… but that ain’t no virgin.
Thanks, Candy! I’ll be using that GC to buy something raunchy. 😉
I saw that one, too, Michelle R and I was stunned. I mean, WTF – that was at one time considered romantic? Also, I loved the bit a little further on, “did she care?”
I bet Candy could write a kickass chunk of Javascript that would make oh-so-lovely Harlequin titles.
On the “The Sheikh’s Virgin Bride” did anyone notice that the reader comments said that “The Arabian Love-Child” by Michelle Reid was much better than the Virgin Bride?
FYI: The Arabian Love-Child is part of the Presents line under . . . Hot-Blooded Husbands.
I gotta ask: Is Angelle Trieste a real name? ‘Cause I just love it. If I was picking out a good romance writerly kind of name, “Angelle Trieste” would be near the top of my list.
Darlene,
FYI – Angelle Trieste is my pen name. 🙂
See? I told you it was a great name for a romance writer! Good choice![g]
Thanks, Darlene.
Congrats Angelle and Katy!
I didn’t win, but I’m still looking forward to reading Brittle Bondage. I’m going to see if I can find it at the UBS.
I was doing some grocery shopping last night and passed by the book aisle. Harlequin had one out titled Revenge Pregnancy. Nearly made my eyes bug out.