Oh, you guys. I have to review this book for you because I laughed so loud and so long that my husband had to kick me out of the room. This is the third Dahlia Moss book and every one seems to get better and better. In these stressful times who doesn’t need a book that makes you laugh out loudly and often?

Dahlia Moss is NOT a private detective because she doesn’t have her license yet. This has not stopped her from solving two mysteries (see: The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss and The Questionable Behavior of Dahlia Moss). Previous books have established her geek cred, her propensity for coming across recently murdered corpses, and her role in a love triangle, although, as she explains,

I’m not really involved in a love triangle so much as I’m involved in a ‘like triangle’. Which is sort of like a love triangle, but without people acting like idiots. And besides which, unless someone involved here is bisexual, it’s never really a triangle anyway, is it? It’s a love V.

Those who loathe love V’s will be pleased to know that in this book the love V is finally resolved so we can all move on with our lives.

Dahlia is hired to steal code from a small company that is trying to develop a game. Everyone is terribly stressed and sleep-deprived. Dahlia’s mission quickly becomes a secondary mission when she finds a dead body in the office. Now she has to commit espionage and solve a mystery. The rest of the plot is so delightfully chaotic that I dare not try to sum it up. At various points it involves false identities, a knitting club, a goth club, a lot of alcohol, the search for a stolen collection of Christmas tea, marriage proposals, and a pet grooming salon. I stress that this is only a small selection of elements in a book that is only 309 pages long.

The problem with reviewing a book this funny is that I just want to quote all the funny parts, which would not, technically speaking, be a review and which would probably damage your reading experience. Here’s an early sum up of the plot, spoken to a baker, by Dahlia:

“Hey, Colleen,” I said to the woman behind the counter.

“You again? You’re becoming one of our best customers.”

“I’m trying to bring up morale at work. With baked goods.”

“How much do you need to bring it up?”

“Well,” I said, “right now we have firings, a saboteur, and possibly a murderer.”

“I’ll put together the bag,” said Colleen.

The story is racially inclusive and includes a lesbian couple. One of my favorite things about this series is that it portrays geek culture as being full of a lot of different kinds of people, most of whom don’t fit stereotypes about geeks.

By far the best thing about the book is the dialogue, which often includes multiple conversations happening at once, between people who are sleep-deprived and/or drunk. I swore I wouldn’t inundate you with quotes, but your love or hate for this book will rest almost entirely on how you feel about these conversations, not to mention descriptions like this:

Masako, in fairness, might have passed for sober were it not for the presence of Tyler, who scaled the basement stairwell with the grace and focus of gelatinous ooze. That is to say, he was not using the steps as such, but was making more of a full body experience out of them with the handrails and walls.

Here’s Gary, an overworked programmer:

“Didn’t get quality shut-eye, Gary?” I asked.

“No,” said Gary. He sounded not exactly angry, but certainly very peeved.

“Too upset about the murder to sleep?” I asked.

“Up all night with an eight-month-old,” said Gary.

“You have an eight-month old?” I asked.

“Apparently,” said Gary. “I really should get home more.”

I tried to type in more dialogue for you, but it was all full of spoilers plus I started laughing again and snorted tea out my nose. So don’t do that. As you can see, it’s not really the destination that matters in this book, it’s the journey, although, as Gary points out, “This code will someday die, just like all of us. The past is the past. You can’t go home again.” I’d be more depressed about that insight from Gary if I wasn’t busy laughing over the book. If you laughed at the excerpts, you will like the book, and if not just back away, slowly, without making eye contact. And whatever you do, don’t try to drink tea while you read it!