623. RT Rewind: December 1997 Reviews

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Sarah Wendell: Hello and welcome to episode 623 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell, with me is Amanda Diehl, and we are going back to December 1997. If you’ve seen the cover for this episode or for this issue, you know that it is SHEIK! The book reviews in 1997 are fewer in number, but they are ample in, well, a lot of things. We’ve got prizefighter younger sons getting kicked out of brothels on their wedding night, we’ve got nicknames following you around the globe in the 1880s, we’ve got Regency cats, and my favorite, former mercenaries turned existential martial arts philosophers. Yes, that is a real thing. Do not miss the visual aids; the covers in 1997 are a glorious treat for every part of your eye, and your retina deserves love today; it especially deserves covers from 1997.

Hello and thank you to our Patreon community. Hello especially to Cora S., who is one of our newest Patreon members. Welcome, Cora! If you are supporting the show, well, you get the whole issue of Romantic Times, the full PDF scan, plus bonus episodes and a delightful Discord where we hang out every day and we talk about books. Like, what could be better? If you are interested in supporting the show, monthly pledges start at one dollars a month. One dollars! One dollars a month. I’m not even doing that again. One whole dollars a month, and, in addition, you get ad-free episodes. You get a special feed. Now, I want to be clear: the ads that I read in the intro, like the one you’re about to hear, those are included, but the in-, what, they’re called dynamically inserted ad, the ads that come in at the end of the episode and the beginning? Those are from the host, and you can opt out of those by joining the Patreon, ‘cause you will get your own personalized RSS feed just for you, and it will deliver only this audio part here that I do. If you would like to have a look at our Patreon, it is patreon.com/SmartBitches, and you can spend your one dollars – [laughs].

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All right, are you ready to go back to 1997? It was a long time ago. My hair was really, really big. On with the podcast.

[music]

Sarah: Are you ready to talk about SHEIK!?

Amanda Diehl: Yeah.

Sarah: SHEIK!

Amanda: This was an interesting one!

Sarah: I had so much fun with this one. Like, I kept reading it and thinking – [gasps] – There’s more fun shit!

Amanda: Yeah, this was an interesting one.

Sarah: This was a lot.

Amanda: Is this the earliest one we’ve done? No, I feel like we’ve done like a 1994 one, right?

Sarah: We did a 1994 and –

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: – I believe that the – I’m going to look right now in my inventory – the earliest I have – so we did May 1994, and I have March 1992, and then I have October/November of 1988, and those are the earliest issues that I have.

Amanda: M’kay.

Sarah: Yeah. So we could be going back to when you were a toddler.

Amanda: Or not even born!

Sarah: Or not even born.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Big fun for everyone, including me, ‘cause I feel real old.

Shall we get started with the reviews?

Amanda: Yes! Yeah, review time. So for those who are listening, Sarah and I decided to do something different this time around.

Sarah: Dun-dun-duh! Yeah, we’re mixing it up.

Amanda: We kept our review picks and, like, notes separate.

Sarah: Yeah, so we don’t know which, what each other has picked. So if we picked –

Amanda: Yeah, we don’t –

Sarah: – the same thing, great; we’re going to have to, like, duel.

Amanda: You can have it; I’m too hot.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: I’m too hot to duel.

Sarah: So shall we get started with Historical Romance?

Amanda: Yes! I will note that there aren’t a lot of categories.

Sarah: There really are not a lot of review categories, and I was thinking about that –

Amanda: There’s like five!

Sarah: – this morning. I think that this is sort of of the time when there just weren’t that many books being published, and so we are now used to an absolute ton of books being published every day –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – on the hour, but at this point, in 1997, there were just fewer books published.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: And a lot of publishers, I, that don’t exist anymore. But there just, there were fewer books published, so, like Steve Ammidown said on the podcast we did, if you published a book at this time, it was going to get read by somebody, because there weren’t that many books published.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: So what did you pick for Historical Rrromance?

Amanda: So Historical Romance, on page 40 of the magazine, 42 of the PDF –

Sarah: Yes?

Amanda: – I picked Crimson Lace by Linda Francis Lee, published by Jove, four and a half stars. I know –

Sarah: What a title! Oof!

Amanda: Well, previous titles in the series were Emerald Rain, Blue Waltz, so.

Sarah: Damn!

Amanda: [Laughs] The setting is New York 1886, so not England. And these reviews are longer, by the way. They’re like –

Sarah: Oh yeah! This is, what, one, two, three, four, five, six paragraphs, but it’s a lot of plot summary, right?

Amanda: Yeah, yeah. So the review/summary reads:

>> After ten years of banishment and hiding from the shame of being known as “Crimson Lily,” Lily Blakemore is coming home to care for her orphaned nieces and nephew. She hides her fear behind a mask of eccentricity and flamboyance –

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: >> – that only one man can penetrate.

Please don’t penetrate my flamboyance.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: >> Morgan Elliot is determined to bring down John Crandall, Lily’s supposed lover. He takes a job as the repairman at the dilapidated Blakemore mansion and discovers Lily is not the woman he imagined. Yes, she is flamboyant and seemingly wild, but it is her love of life and adventure combined with her vulnerability that captivates Morgan. The children come to depend on him as much as Lily, and Morgan finds himself caught in his own trap. The longer he works at Blake-, at Blakemore house, the more he questions Crimson Lily’s scandalous past and begins to unravel the truth about the long-ago disgrace that gave her the notorious reputation. Lily’s inherent goodness, caring, and compassion win Morgan over, and when others arrive to claim the children, only Morgan holds the key to helping Lily gain custody and reclaim her life. But betrayal, insecurities, and mistrust nearly ruin Lily’s one chance for happiness.

>> Linda Francis Lee is a master at bringing 18-, 1880s New York to life, the glittering façade that hides the cruel reality of society. Her remarkable characters and the poignancy of her writing are marks of an exemplary writer whose understanding of the human heart goes beyond the ordinary.

Sarah: Oh!

Amanda: Also, Sensual, by the way.

Sarah: Sensual!

Amanda: The cover price of this book is $5.99. [Laughs]

Sarah: Aww!

Amanda: $5.99! I can’t even get a coffee…$5.99 anymore! I picked this one because I’m like, Crimson Lily, like, they make reference to some scandal and some now, you know, shady nickname. They don’t tell you what it is. I’m assuming it’s like some kind of scarlet letter scenario.

Sarah: Scandalous past –

Amanda: Scandalous.

Sarah: – long-ago disgrace that gave her a notorious reputation?

Amanda: Yeah. And, also the use of the word flamboyant/flamboyance multiple times.

Sarah: Yeah, it –

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: – apparently this book is very flamboyant. What do you mean?

Amanda: Yeah, and I’m trying to, like, figure out what kind of person the heroine is, because she has a disgraceful past, this mysterious moniker, but she’s eccentric and flamboyant, and now she’s the sole guardian of her nieces and nephew. [Laughs]

Sarah: And she has inherent goodness, caring, and compassion. Wasn’t that like, wasn’t there a, an old trope like hooker with a heart of gold? That sounds like –

Amanda: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – what this is leaning on.

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: There was a lot of weird deployment of sex work in romances at this time. Like, it was –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – really a weird, weird time for portrayals of sex work; not a good time.

Amanda: [Laughs] No.

Sarah: So I chose, on page 46, The Wild One by Danelle Harmon. Now, the previous titles in this series are Wicked at Heart and Pirate in My Arms, but this, I picked this one because I thought, Oh, I know this title, but I thought the title was different. She had a whole series: The Defiant One, The Wild One, and The Beloved One, and I think this was Candy’s favorite historical romance cover? I just put it in the document: Danelle Harmon’s The Beloved One. So –

Amanda: Oh my goodness.

Sarah: So this woman – this isn’t even this book, but the minute I saw the title I was like, Oh, the one with the pillars that are really erect? This guy has, like, a ponytail, and his shirt’s half off, but still tucked in!

Amanda: And she’s staring up at his boobs?

Sarah: She’s staring at his underboob. She’s on her knees in, like, an off-the-shoulder teal gown that’s really about to, like, have a nipple slip? And behind them are these two extremely upright, erect pillars with planters on top, and they’ve got, like, no purpose being there except to be erections. Like, that’s the whole point.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: So the minute I saw the title I’m like, Oh, the erection cover! This is not the erection cover, but it sounds pretty great. It got four stars. The setting is England in 1776, so some shit’s going down.

Amanda: [Laughs] I know!

Sarah: Things are happening.

>> Lord Gareth de Montforte has no idea what responsibility really means. His idea of living is having fun, and thus he has been dubbed “the Wild One” by friends and family.

Now, they really didn’t work very hard on that nickname, did they? There were, that was –

Amanda: It’s no, it’s no Crimson Lily, I’ll tell you that.

Sarah: Right? Like, if, if we’re going to go for nicknames, they really phoned it in.

>> But when his recently deceased brother’s fiancée arrives with her infant daughter, he has a sudden change of heart. With nowhere to turn, Juliet Paige makes the harrowing journey from colonial Boston to England in hopes of finding a home for her child. When her stagecoach is set upon by highwaymen, Juliet –

Amanda: Hate it when that happens.

Sarah: And all the time I romance; seriously!

>> – Juliet courageously fights them off with help from a passing nobleman, Gareth.

[Gasps]

>> Gareth is appalled when his, that when his eldest brother, Lucien, wants to turn Juliet and little Charlotte away. He follows her, planning to wed her himself and find a way to support his instant family! This is something new for the black sheep of the family and just what Lucien wanted.

That’s another thing there were a lot of in historical romance: extremely manipulative older brothers.

Amanda: But also it’s weird: I’m very curious that Gareth is the wild one, but all of a sudden he has this weird protective instinct the second he –

Sarah: Meets this –

Amanda: – meets this woman and her daughter and was like, I’ll marry her; it’s fine!

Sarah: It’s fine. Yeah, it’s fine. This sounds great.

>> However, after spending their wedding night in a bordello and being evicted after Gareth gets involved in a brawl –

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: >> – Juliet begins to wonder how they will manage.

Girl. This is like a, this, this is like a historical Am I the Asshole?

[Laughter]

Sarah: So I, I went across the sea to meet my, my late fiancé’s family, but then I married his brother and we had our wedding night in a bordello, and then he got in a fight –

Amanda: He got us kicked out.

Sarah: – he got us kicked out. Should I stay? No. No, you should not.

>> Then Gareth take –

Okay, I’m sorry. [Laughs] Are you ready for this?

Amanda: Also, pause for a second –

Sarah: Good, good –

Amanda: – for –

Sarah:  – ‘cause it’s about to get really crazy over here.

Amanda: So I think it would be fun if we, sort of like a reverse HaBO in a way, where we know what the book is, but we craft, like, an r/relationships post or like an Am I the Asshole post and people try to guess what popular romance novel it is.

Sarah: So you know about Guess that Lonely Heart, right?

Amanda: No!

Sarah: So in the original like first three years of the site, we had Guess that Lonely Heart, where we would write a personal ad from the perspective of a romance hero or heroine, and the first to guess it in the comments got a title, and we would make these little title graphics like The Smart Bitches Dub Thee Duchess of Cuntington or whatever.

Amanda: I remember the titles just for the HaBO solving.

Sarah: Yeah, then. Before that it was Guess that Lonely Heart, and we would write lonely hearts ads based on heroes and heroines, so I kind of love the Am I the Asshole, should I stay in this relationship –

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: – like r/relationships, but it’s romance novels? I love this idea –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – that would be so fun.

Okay, so are you ready for this to get really weird?

Amanda: I’m ready. I just took a giant sip of my White Claw.

Sarah: So, to recap: comes ‘cross the ocean, marries the wild one, wedding night in a bordello, he gets in a fight, they get kicked out.

>> Then Gareth takes a job as a prizefighter for an unscrupulous villain and discovers the courage to fight for his family and his life.

[Laughs] He’s just some rando nobleman who came across this woman and, who was being robbed, who was engaged to his brother, and now he’s a prizefighter. Lucien’s going to have a litter of kittens when he finds this out.

Amanda: And also, fight for your family – you’ve known this woman and her daughter for what, a week?

Sarah: This is, wow. So there’s, like, insta-love, and now there’s, like, instant family. It’s like instant coffee: just add baby.

Amanda: I mean, historical romance loves a prizefighter.

Sarah: Oh, yeah! Oh yeah, for sure. Everyone’s always going to Gentleman Jackson’s and getting the crap beat out of them. So here’s the rest of the review, because that’s just plot summary! These reviews are so much plot summary; like, you don’t need to read this book.

>> Danelle Harmon’s new series about the de Montforte men is sure to win readers’ enthusiasm. You’ll be intrigued by these men and the world in which they live. Ms. Harmon brings an England at war to readers in a new and exciting light, with characters who shine and a story that enthralls. I’ll be eagerly looking forward to the next volume in this chronicle.

So to recap that review: not a word about the romance, not a word about the plot, not a thing to say about the book itself; just, hey, new series and enthralling and shine. Oh boy!

Amanda: Yeah. Which is, honestly –

Sarah: Not doing a lot.

Amanda: Not…

Sarah: Not doing a lot! But I will say Danelle Harmon writes a great historical novel.

Amanda: I never read any of her books, but I did see later on she had, does have a feature with Julia Quinn!

Sarah: I know. I actually sent that to Julia Quinn. I was like, Hey, I’m scanning this magazine! Do you remember this? She’s like, Oh my God, that was so long ago, and I do remember that.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: We’ll get to an ads and features; do not worry.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: All right, so let’s move on to Mainstream Fiction and New Reality, which, again, encompasses so many things.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: And because there aren’t that many books published, there’s so much more features in this magazine than reviews.

Amanda: There are a lot, yeah.

Sarah: Like, you had, like, huge sections of pages between the reviews? So Mainstream and New Reality comes with another category key on PDF page 75. So here are the categories, and I just need someone to explain how this makes a tiny bit of sense. The first three are Contemporary, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary Saga. What the shit? [Laughs]

Amanda: I feel like this is the old math thing where, like –

Sarah: [Laughs] Old math!

Amanda: – a square, it’s like a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t a square, or however – it’s like a contemporary romance can be a contemporary saga, but can a contemporary saga be a contemporary romance?

Sarah: What’s the difference –

Amanda: Like, I don’t –

Sarah: – between contemporary and contemporary romance? Are they just saying, like, contemporary like this is women’s fiction? That it’s not a romance?

Amanda: I’m assuming contemporary is more women’s fiction. Contemporary saga is where I’m a little fuzzy. Like, maybe contemporary saga would be like Beverly Jenkins’, like, Blessings series?

Sarah: Maybe. Well, the – maybe! That, that could be it. I, see, the thing is, they have the category key, but I don’t see any Contemporary Sagas listed here, ‘cause I could be like, Oh, this book is this, so that’s what that means, although it would be weird to have a rubric and then have to see, like, the books ranked –

Amanda: I’m looking.

Sarah: – to be able to understand what they’re talking about.

Amanda: No. There is no Contemporary Saga reviewed in this one.

Sarah: So the other categories are Erotica, Fantasy, Futuristic, Ghost, Multicultural – all the Black people get their own category; mm, great.

Amanda: I like Ghost as a designation ‘cause I just picture, it’s just books about Patrick Swayze.

Sarah: [Snorts] And pottery.

Amanda: [Laughs] And pottery.

Sarah: Multicultural, Paranormal, Romantic Mystery, Romantic Suspense, Suspense, Time Travel, and Vampire. I, oh boy. If you’re curious, the Time Travel includes Diana Gabaldon’s Drums of Autumn. If you’re trying to place this in terms of major releases, that’s where we are; we’re at Drums of Autumn.

So what book –

Amanda: Well, good thing they didn’t la-, label her as a Romance, ‘cause she would have been pissed.

Sarah: She doesn’t like that; gets her a little mad.

So what book did you pick?

Amanda: I picked – oh boy, where is it? On page 75 of the magazine, 77 of the PDF, I picked Deep Waters by Jayne Ann Krentz. And it’s four and a half stars, and it’s listed as a Contemporary Romance paperback release.

Sarah: Interesting!

Amanda: Yes.

>> Just before, just before as she announces her engagement/merger, CEO Charity Truitt realizes she can’t do it. She turns the business over to her stepsiblings and opens a bookstore in Whispering Waters Cove.

And then, I read that sentence, I was like, Okay! End of story; we’re done, right? [Laughs] That’s all there is to the book: she quits as CEO and opens a bookstore and there we go!

Sarah: In Whispering Waters Cove.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: What do you think the locals call it?

Amanda: I don’t know!

Sarah: W2C?

Amanda: WW-, WWC?

Sarah: WWC, it’s just, okay.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: It’s a really long town name. All right!

Amanda: >> She fits in with the yuppie and hippy types –

Sarah: Oh boy.

Amanda: >> – but Charity and the other shop owners on Crazy Otis Landing –

Sarah: Wait, what?

Amanda: >> – worry –

Yep. [Laughs] Everything has a three-word title. Yeah, Crazy Otis Landing. I wonder if Crazy Otis Landing is like a – probably not, but I envision it as like a strip mall? And you know how they give strip malls like weird, fancy names sometimes?

Sarah: Yeah, there’s always like a Crossing.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Orchard something, yeah.

Amanda: Yeah. [Laughs]

>> But Charity and the other shop owners on Crazy Otis Landing worry about new landlord Elias Winter renewing their leases. After years of cultivating revenge, Elias has the man responsible for his father’s death in his grasp, but he realizes that passing judgment will devastate his psyche and walks away. He recently lost his mentor Hayden Stone, a mercenary turned existential martial arts philosopher –

Sarah: Okay, I’m sorry, but – [laughs] – he’s in, what does his, what does his LinkedIn look like?

Amanda: I don’t know!

Sarah: [Still laughing] He’s a mercenary turned existential martial arts philosopher! Oh my God!

Amanda: I feel like in this day and age he’d be one of those guys, like, hosting a fake podcast, where, like, the mic isn’t plugged into anything, and trying to sell, like, mindset courses.

Sarah: This guy posts Reels in a too-small tank top, one hundred percent.

Amanda: Yeah.

>> Inheriting Hayden’s property –

What property? What do you think this man owns that he’s willing to his mentee?

>> Inheriting Hayden’s property brings Elias to Crazy Otis Landing, and feisty Charity stirs his long-submerged emotions.

Sarah: Okay, so he’s emotionally immature and – [laughs] – his mentor was a mercenary turned existential martial arts – I’m sorry; I’m stuck on this job title!

Amanda: Well, get ready, ‘cause it gets even weirder.

Sarah: I can’t wait; bring it.

Amanda: >> According to the “Voyagers” and cult leader Gwendolyn Pitt, the small town is the future landing site for visiting extraterrestrials, and next Monday is D Day.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: >> The whole town turns out for the unexpected show, but instead murder transpires!

Sarah: Hate that!

Amanda: >> A second killing muddies the waters even more, forcing Charity and Elias to interrupt their offbeat courtship to solve the murders.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: >> Ready for quirky humor, passionate romance with a touch of suspense thrown in? Then you are ready for superb author Jayne Ann Krentz’s hot Deep Waters. Happy reading!

Sarah: There’s no review! [Laughs]

Amanda: Yep.

Sarah: It’s quirky!

Amanda: But what a, what a jump, ‘cause I could slightly buy into this weirdo who wants revenge for his martial arts philosopher mentor’s death finds himself in a small town and has to deal with Charity, who is like a CEO who’s now running a small-town business. Sure. I’m on board. And then introduce, like, some kind of alien cult into this who thinks the small town is going to be, like, the arrival site for their alien overlords. And then murders begin!

Sarah: As they do. Wow.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Truly incredible.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: What a treasure that is.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: I’m, I’m going to, I’m going to wake up in the middle of the night, and when my brain is, like, really, really going and I need something fun to think about, I’m going to think about mercenary turned existential martial arts philosopher. What the hell is existential martial arts philosopher? What does that even mean? The mercenary part I get. What does that mean?

Amanda: I don’t know! But, you know, if you’re ever in the mood, like, for a career change –

Sarah: Yes!

Amanda: – keep your options open.

Sarah: Yeah! I could start –

Amanda: Also, the cover is weird.

Sarah: Oh really?

Amanda: It’s like, it’s not exciting weird; it’s just, like, boring weird. It’s like this weird art deco –

Sarah: Oh!

Amanda: – water design.

Sarah: Yeah, look at –

Amanda: You look at this and you –

Sarah: – art deco –

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: – waterfall.

Amanda: There, nothing about this cover tells me that there’s going to be a mercenary turned martial artist philosopher or an alien cult, or murder, for that matter.

Sarah: My goodness.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: What is happening? I just want to know what the editor who got that review was thinking. Like, he’s a what now? Like, imagine that resume! What the hell? Amazing. Truly amazing.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: So I picked, on PDF page 82, Dear Enemy by Maxine Barry, published by Scarlet, three stars, Contemporary Romance. This has some names. Like, we’ve, we’ve, it’s been a while since we’ve had some really great names, and this review is so bland. It’s like plain yogurt, this review.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: >> Keira Westcombe –

With an E on the end.

>> – decides to marry her friend, elderly Lucas Harwood, to help him fend off his controlling daughter and out of an old-fashioned sense of duty to her family’s nature reserve and her inability to finance it.

So, she’s going to marry this old guy because his daughter’s controlling, and she’s got a nature reserve. So she can’t be a, she can’t be a gold-digger, she can’t be a predatory person here. She’s got a nature reserve; makes her good, ‘cause she likes squirrels.

>> As Keira and Lucas walk away from the altar, Keira sees Fane, her husband’s son. The two experience love at first sight in the church, followed in both by consummate resistance.

Followed in both? By consummate resistance. So they, like, really want to go to Bone Town, and then are going to resist is my reading of that –

Amanda: Yes.

Sarah: – very clumsy sentence.

Amanda: Yes.

Sarah: >> Artist Blaise Clayton moves –

Amanda: I thought his name was Blaise Canyon at first…

Sarah: [Laughs] Blazin’ Canyon!

>> Blaise Clayton –

That’s a lot of A sounds.

>> – moves to Westcombe to study a Stonehenge-like ruin. Keira’s commitment –

Amanda: Wait, so he moves to Westcombe, but her last name is Westcombe.

Sarah: Yes. Apparently – I don’t – okay. I mean, it, it must be weird to have the same last name as the town you live in, but I may be –

Amanda: Or is it, is it like Pemberley? Right? Like –

Sarah: Oh, maybe!

Amanda: Like an estate?

Sarah: Maybe it’s an estate. Well, there’s a Stonehenge-like ruin and Blaise Clayton is here to study it.

>> Keira’s commitment to save the nature reserve also appeals to her.

Oh, is Blaise a woman? Maybe?

>> She soon meets earthy Aidan Shaw, whose idea of paradise is living and working on a farm remote from the daily heartache of dealing with others.

Amanda: I wouldn’t call dealing with others a daily heartache! Maybe a headache.

Sarah: Kind of a pain in the ass.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: But I don’t understand this whole paragraph about Blaise and Aidan, but apparently they’re in here too. Okay. Back to Keira!

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: >> Keira and Fane’s –

F-A-N-E, by the way.

>> – Fane’s intense attraction, and the problems it presents, remains central, but the pagan ruins, the story of Blaise and Aidan –

Blazin’ Aidan.

>> – plus the environmental themes provide point-counterpoint in Maxine Barry’s pleasant narrative.

Amanda: What does that mean?

Sarah: What does that mean? It’s pleasant?

Amanda: What does point-counterpoint mean?

Sarah: Like, are we bouncing back and forth? Is this too, too fact-driven? Is that what we’re saying? Like, what does –

Amanda: But they both –

Sarah: – that mean?

Amanda: I mean, I thought at first it was like, oh, point-counterpoint, one, like, one wants the nature reserve and the other doesn’t, but they both seem committed to, like, preserving the land in some way, so I feel like one is not necessarily a counterpoint to the other. I don’t know. This one’s a weird one.

Sarah: It’s a –

Amanda: I mean, they’ve all been weird, but this one’s especially weird.

Sarah: What does this even mean? And why is it called Dear Enemy? Who’s the enemy?

Amanda: I don’t know!

Sarah: It doesn’t make any sense, but okay. It’s a pleasant narrative. If we wrote a review and published it and said it was a pleasant narrative –

Amanda: Yeah, if I wrote that, Sarah’d be like, What does this mean?

Sarah: What does this even mean?

Amanda: What are you doing?

Sarah: I don’t understand.

So the next –

Amanda: Sarah does this thing, by the way, if anyone wants to know how the sausage is made –

Sarah: Uh-oh.

Amanda: [Laughs] It’s not a bad thing! But in terms of grading, you know, if you’re at, Oh, it was a pleasant narrative, she will go through and highlight, like, the negative and positive statements –

Sarah: Mm-hmm!

Amanda: – in your review –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – and be like, Hey, scales are tipping more one way than the other.

Sarah: Yep. I counted that a lot where someone really didn’t like a book and has a lot of reasons why? But then doesn’t want to give it a negative grade. Doesn’t, it, it, it’s a struggle to get past like B or C+ sometimes, and I’m like, Hey, you didn’t like this, and that’s okay! Someone else might really dig all the things you hate.

So next is Science Fiction. I struggled with this section because it is one page.

Amanda: It’s four books?

Sarah: It’s four books, and there’s not –

Amanda: They’re all cont- –

Sarah: – there’s not a summer –

Amanda: They’re all continuations!

Sarah: They’re all continuations, and we know how you feel about continuations.

Amanda: I don’t care about any of this stuff.

Sarah: Yeah, so I didn’t actually pick one of these because I couldn’t figure –

Amanda: I didn’t either!

Sarah: All right, so this is our pass! Love it! Pass!

Amanda: I wrote, Eh, no thanks! In – [laughs] – in…spot!

Sarah: Like, there’s like four books! Like, it’s – and there’s a gold medal, which is different – I…we’re just going to move on; it’s just silly.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: So moving on to Series.

Amanda: Yes.

Sarah: This was very interesting. So on PDF page 97 is the Series romance reviews, and did you see how many lines there are, and what the hell are they?

Amanda: I recognize some of them, obviously.

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: But then there are other ones that I’ve never heard of, like Harlequin Delta Justice –

Sarah: Yep, Harlequin Delta Justice?

Amanda: – Silhouette 36 Hours.

Sarah: I actually looked that up. Okay, so the book that I picked is actually part of Harlequin, or, excuse me, it was Silhouette 36 Hours? So I will tell you more about that when we get to the book that I picked, but there’s also –

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: – Silhouette Yours Truly? Silhouette Special Edition, Silhouette Romance.

Amanda: Harlequin Love & Laughter?

Sarah: That, I remember that going under. I remember that when it was falling down. Like, Silhouette Intimate Moments, Silhouette Desires – one of them, one of the Silhouette Desires is called Look What the Stork Brought.

Amanda: I will also say that the reviews are very holiday-romance-heavy, because this is a December issue?

Sarah: Yes.

Amanda: And it took me a while to be like, Oh, that’s right, it’s a December issue, ‘cause I was like, Why the fuck are there so many Santa, Christmas –

Sarah: Santa –

Amanda: – titles here?

Sarah: – Scrooge, Marley –

Amanda: What’s happening?

Sarah: – bells, angel wings, mistletoe, Santa in his –

Amanda: Grinch? There’s a Grinch in there?

Sarah: The Grinch Makes Good, My Jingle Bell Baby.

Amanda: And I’m like, Oh yeah, that’s right: holiday romance. [Laughs]

Sarah: It’s – The Mistletoe Kiss? Yeah.

So, what did you pick?

Amanda: So before I go to the one that I picked, there is something on page 99 that stood out to me, that I don’t know what this means, and maybe you do.

Sarah: M’kay.

Amanda: So 99, at the end of the last paragraph, there’s a review for All She Wants for Christmas by Liz Fielding, and at the end of the review it says “Book club only.”

Sarah: Ohhh, that’s interesting!

Amanda: Does that mean, like, this book is only distributed if you are part of the Harlequin Romance Book Club?

Sarah: Yep. Probably!

Amanda: Okay!

Sarah: Also, if you look at PDF page 101, page 99, the same page, over on the left?

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Sharon Kendrick, who is the author of The Playboy Sheikh’s Virgin Stable-Girl, has a book in, reviewed. Unfortunately, it got two stars, but it’s His Baby! – exclamation point.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: His Baby! SHEIK! [Laughs]

Amanda: So I picked a book on the next page that I have to find, because these are all smooshed together.

Sarah: Yeah, it’s like columns with one paragraph leading into another paragraph, and each book gets a paragraph. These are probably –

Amanda: Yes.

Sarah: – what, thirty-five-word, forty-word reviews?

Amanda: Yeah. If that.

Sarah: If you don’t count the title and the author. Yeah, they’re very short.

Amanda: So I picked Santa Cowboy.

Sarah: Okay!

Amanda: [Laughs] It’s the second paragraph from the bottom on the right-hand side.

Sarah: Ah, yep, I found it!

Amanda: Two stars.

>> Bestselling author Barbara McMahon sends the sensual sparks flying high when a fiery-tempered rancher clashes with a lovely banker over the foreclosure on a neighboring property in Santa Cowboy. Although as opposites they attract, can this unlikely couple overcome the disillusionments of the past to find happiness together? Although the hero’s intentions toward the heroine are not particularly admirable, Miss McMahon knows how to make things snap, crackle, and pop between her vibrant lovers.

I want to back up and ask, What the fuck does that mean? His intentions are not admirable. Is he a sex pest? Or is he, like, does he hate women? Like, that’s where my brain goes.

Sarah: A fiery-tempered rancher clashes with a lovely banker over the foreclosure of a neighboring property. So what are, why are his intentions not particularly admirable? Is he – I mean, it sounds like he’s kind of gross!

Amanda: Going back to our reviews that we do on the site, I feel like in, in this day and age we take good care to put in content warnings of, like, Hey, this guy’s a creep, or This character experiences some form of harassment or, you know, whatever it might be.

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: But, like, I think, like, some of these of these reviews allude to some very potentially bad things –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – and you really don’t know what you’re walking into? And I feel like, me as a 2024 romance reader, I see those phrases and I’m automatically, like, thinking the worst and being like, I’m good.

Sarah: Yeah, I don’t think this sounds like I, something I want to put in my brain.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: I, I just want you to know that I almost selected, on the same page, a book called The Best Little Joeville Christmas, J-O-E-V-I-L-L-E, but I figure it’s some twee town name, so.

I actually went for PDF page105, from Silhouette 36 Hours; it’s the only review in that section. So here is the review:

>> An interior designer has returned home for her brother’s wedding. Instead, she finds herself having to bury her mother and deal with the fact that she was murdered. She also has to deal with an ex-love, now an investigative reporter, and handle his reunion –

Excuse me.

>> – and handle his reaction to a Father and Child Reunion. Four stars. Christine Flynn delves well into her characters and gives readers a well-rounded story.

What the hell does any of that mean? I have no damn clue. But here is where this gets –

Amanda: Also, leave this woman alone.

Sarah: Right?

Amanda: She’s got enough to deal with.

Sarah: Her mom just got murdered! There’s no time for sexypants! Like, you know what, if grief makes you horny, that’s great, but the idea that someone could be going through life-changing grief and find out their parent was murdered and then have, like, time to have a romance and go to Bone Town? I’m not buying it! I’m just, those are two very intense emotional experiences. I don’t know about going through them at the same time. I mean, if it happened to you, great, I’m happy for your happiness –

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: – but I’m not buying this as a fiction plot.

So here’s what Silhouette 36 Hours are. This is from the Brown –

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: – Popular Culture Library. I’m guessing from the date of this information this was Steve Ammidown?

>> It was books that are part of Silhouette’s 36 Hours series. It’s a cross-author shared plot collection that centered on a thirty-six-hour-long power outage in a Colorado town and the aftermath.

So the reason why she’s got this, you know, all of this shit going on, in addition, thirty-six hours without power. And if you’re thinking, Wow, how many books can be written about a thirty-six-hour power outage, the answer is nineteen, apparently.

Amanda: So it’s just like all different authors writing stories that occur in the same event –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – of this power outage.

Sarah: Yeah, so no one has any power for thirty-six hours, and we’ve got murders and – if you look at some of the other titles? – I will put a link in the Slack – some of the other titles include A Thanksgiving to Remember, where there’s a killer on the loose, and a man with no memory is accused, and a nurse puts her life on the line. Prior to that, Susan Mallery, who you may recognize that name, Susan Mallery wrote Cinderella for a Night:

>> A masquerade ball is plunged into darkness, a woman is poisonous, a millionaire bachelor becomes a father.

It’s thirty-six hours!

Amanda: A lot can happen, apparently. I love some of these titles and covers.

Sarah: Aren’t they wild?

Amanda: There’s one by Diana Whitney named Ooh Baby, Baby. [Laughs]

Sarah: Yeah!

Amanda: Yeah, and then Kasey Michaels has Strange Bedfellows? I kind of like this cover of this woman undressing a man in the sky.

Sarah: Over a mountain.

Amanda: [Laughs] Over a mountain!

Sarah: I used to wish that my hair would look like that, that I could do that long, wavy, not-frizzy look with a deep side part. My hair doesn’t do that.

Amanda: You and me, you and me both.

Sarah: And then if you look at the top, Lynn, Lightning Strikes by Mary Lynn Baxter, they’re growing out of trees on that cover.

Amanda: Yes.

Sarah: They’re just growing out of some trees. So yeah, thirty-six-hour power outage, and this poor woman is dealing with having her brother’s wedding, coming home and finding her mother is dead, and then finding out she was murdered, and her ex is an investigative reporter, and she apparently has a kid and he has to meet the kid, and it’s thirty-six hours. Good God!

Amanda: It looks like the series went to 2001?

Sarah: I’m not sure, because the books with the little logo on the cover end in 2000, but then there’s a November –

Amanda: Mmm.

Sarah: – 2000 anthology, Christmas Bonus: The Christmas That Changed Everything.

Amanda: But the farther ones down that are included in this list –

Sarah: Oh, they do have it, yeah! 20-, 2001 –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – it does have a little badge of people looming over a house.

Amanda: Yeah, it’s smaller now, instead of – it looks like this is part of Silhouette’s Intimate Moments now? And it’s not, like –

Sarah: Yes. It changed its framing.

Amanda: – the imprint in, anymore.

Sarah: Look at A Very…Pregnant New Year’s.

Amanda: I’m going, I’m going.

Sarah: Very bottom, second from the bottom.

Amanda: Oh, very, very bottom. No.

Sarah: A Very (dot, dot, dot) Pregnant New Year’s. So what we’re saying is they went to Bone Town.

Amanda: Okay, if it all – [laughs] – like to explain this. In a day and a half –

Sarah: Right?

Amanda: – is this, is the power outage on New Year’s?

Sarah: I honestly don’t know! I mean, there’s all kinds of mayhem during these thirty-six hours.

Amanda: ‘Cause there’s a process to getting pregnant, finding out you’re pregnant, and being pregnant.

Sarah: You know, we might have a second power outage here –

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: – because book two, Strange Bedfellows by Kasey Michaels – Kasey Michaels and Sharon Sala both wrote books for the series, which is kind of wild – thirty-six hours that changed everything one April weekend in the community of Grand Springs, Colorado. They, oh, and there’s a mudslide and a storm-induced blackout, and the mayor is dead, and a baby is – this is, this sounds terrible. I bet everybody was like, I’m leaving this town; I’m out of here; forget it.

Amanda: Yeah, if this town is experiencing frequent thirty-six-hour power outages –

Sarah: I mean –

Amanda: – there’s a misappropriation of funds or something –

Sarah: You, you got…

Amanda: – ‘cause…needs to get replaced.

Sarah: You need to devote all the way down the ballot who, on whoever’s into infrastructure, ‘cause this is not it. I mean, and then if there’s another one at Christmas, we’ve got multiple rolling thirty-six-hour blackouts, that’s a really long time! All your food’s gone bad?

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: There’s going to be a run at the, at the Kroger to replace all your food? Like, oy!

Amanda: Yeah, don’t open the fridge.

Sarah: Don’t open the –

Amanda: Don’t let all the cold air out.

Sarah: Nope. Holy cow! So yeah, that’s Silhouette 36 Hours, and this poor woman is having a bad time!

Amanda: Yep.

Sarah: That sounds really stressful, by the way. This, not even the whole Let’s have a romance while I’m grieving my mother who was murdered? It’s just, that’s a, that’s a lot in one book? Like, that sounds, for me as a reader, like I would be very tired by the end of it. [Laughs]

Amanda: Yeah, and for thirty-six hours, you have to think, like, that’s a stressful time. ‘Cause you’re like, I don’t know when my power’s going to come back on.

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: My AC is not working anymore; I’m slowly getting warmer. My food might go bad. Is my water running? Like, I don’t want people to bother me. [Laughs]

Sarah: I certainly don’t want to go to Bone Town. ‘Cause you don’t have any hot water!

Amanda: No! And you have to deal with a funeral while the power’s out?

Sarah: No. There’s no way!

Amanda: Fuck off.

Sarah: Nobody can go anywhere –

Amanda: Like, leave me alone.

Sarah: – because gas pumps are electric, so if you don’t have any power you can’t get gas?

Amanda: This is a terrible idea.

Sarah: This is a really wild series.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: We’re, I mean, it was twenty-something years ago, and we’re both like, No, this is terrible! We shouldn’t do this!

Amanda: Terrible idea.

Sarah: [Laughs] Moving on to Regency.

Amanda: Yes, this is the last category!

Sarah: This is the last category! There aren’t any more review sections. I have a truly – I’m so excited; this is my favorite pick of the magazine, so I want to know, what did you pick?

Amanda: So I picked page 105 of the magazine, 107 of the PDF, The Changeable Rose by Jessie Watson? And it’s three stars, published by Zebra, and I picked this because, I’ll read like the first paragraph or so, and I thought, Hey, maybe this is a cool, subversive Regency romance for 1997, and this is going to be a lesbian romance. That’s where I thought this was going, and I’m like, This I know would be someone’s catnip, but spoiler: turns out it’s not a lesbian romance, and we don’t even get to know the hero’s name, either. He’s not worthy of a mention by his full name.

Sarah: [Sighs] Well, that’s how you know he’s got no point.

Amanda: [Laughs] I know! So it starts with –

Sarah: What are you even doing here, sir? [Laughs]

Amanda: I know. They just refer to him as the Earl of Northrup, and that’s it.

>> Zebra introduces a sparkling new talent to divert Regency aficionados with a charming tale of love on the Town. Despite the protestations of her aunt, Miss Clare Winchester leads a retired life in the city after her father’s disastrous loss of fortune and subsequent death. But her quiet existence is disrupted when she takes pity on a swooning young lady and takes her back to her modest home to recuperate.

I think that would make a little meet-cute of, like, this kind of reclusive spinster lady enjoying her life alone rescues a young woman, and then maybe stuff happens! But that’s not what happens.

>> To her surprise, the young lady turns out to be the niece and ward of the gallant Earl of Northrup, who has just returned home from the Peninsula! Impressed with her ability to exert at least some discipline over his wayward young relative, the earl persuades Clare to sponsor the girl for the upcoming season. But will whispers from the past destroy the growing harmony between, between Clare and the earl?

Once again, he doesn’t get a name.

Sarah: He doesn’t need a name.

Amanda: >> And what about the scheming beauty determined to sink her claws into Northrup one more time?

As if Northrup has no agency here. Okay.

>> Aside from a few errors in matters of address, as found in the uncorrected page proofs –

Sarah: [Gasps]

Amanda: What?

Sarah: They, people are using the wrong form of address for titled or noble people.

Amanda: >> – this lively drawing-room romance will more than please the demanding Regency audience.

Sarah: [Snorts] Okay.

Amanda: Hear that, Regency audience?

Sarah: That would have been a really good story if it were in fact a lesbian historical.

Amanda: Right?

Sarah: That sounds great!

Amanda: I thought it would be too! And then, of course, you know, the Earl of Northrup enters –

Sarah: What do you think his actual given name is?

Amanda: – stage left.

Sarah: Do you think it’s like Chad?

Amanda: John or William is my guess –

Sarah: Brent.

Amanda: – if I have to –

Sarah: Bront. It’s Bront. I’ve decided.

Amanda: I’m, I’m going to look it up. The Changeable Rose.

Sarah: Does the hero –

Amanda: Everyone in the comments –

Sarah: – have a name?

Amanda: Yeah, yeah, place your, place your bets in the comments.

Sarah: I’m saying it’s –

Amanda: The Changeable Rose.

Sarah: – I’m, I’m betting it’s Blaine.

Amanda: [Laughs] Blaine. Blaise! Will, will, can we find it? Oh wow, the author lives in Massachusetts, apparently. Nothing about the hero’s name in this review.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: We may never know! Am I going to have to peek inside this book?

Sarah: Yeah!

Amanda: I can’t, ‘cause there’s no digital version!

Sarah: Oh there’s, oh, there’s very likely not! Okay.

Amanda: I’m going to keep searching –

Sarah: Oh my –

Amanda: – while you’re –

Sarah: – goodness! Look at this cover!

Amanda: [Laughs] I know!

Sarah: He’s, like, leaning his face onto her cheek, and she’s just like, Could you –

Amanda: He’s, like, smelling her, that’s what’s happening.

Sarah: – could you, could you not, could you not, like, wipe your nose on my eyebrow? Like, would that, would you mind not doing that? No, it’s just the Earl of Northrup. Is that literally all it – his name is, I’m going to say his name is Chet.

Amanda: I can’t – ooh, okay –

Sarah: I know I keep changing what I say, but it, I’ve decided it’s Chet.

Amanda: I’m looking at the tags on –

Sarah: Ohhh, that’s very smart.

Amanda: – Google Books, and the only – I see a couple men’s names. One is Evan –

Sarah: Hmm.

Amanda: – and one is Peter. So.

Sarah: What the hell is this guy’s name?

Amanda: [Laughs] If anyone has a copy of this book, please tell us what this man’s name is!

Sarah: Wow. All right. So I picked a book on the same page –

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: – and I just, I’m –

Amanda: Did you panic for a second when I said that…

Sarah: No, I was really excited, but I picked the one just before you, and this led me down the most delightful frigging rabbit hole, and I am so excited to talk about this book. Okay. Four stars, from Fawcett, Lord and Master by Rosemary Stevens. Are you ready for the first line of a review that you could legitimately cross-stitch onto a sampler?

Amanda: I’m ready.

Sarah: >> The rising star of Rosemary Stevens shines brightly in this spirited tale of love, laughter, and the importance of cats.

[Laughs]

Amanda: Okay. Okay!

Sarah: [Extra dramatically] >> It is, after all, a cat who is responsible for the first meeting of Miss Daphne Kendall with the simply handsome Earl of Ravenswood. Her heart touched by the plight of the “world’s smallest tiger” –

Amanda: Ohhh!

Sarah: >> – at the Astley Royal Amphitheatre, Daphne takes on the cat’s rascally owner in an attempt to purchase the suffering beast. Only the intervention of the earl, however, persuades the scoundrel to part with his showpiece.

Okay, we’re going to take a turn into some Er!

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: >> Both the earl’s Egyptian manservant and Daphne’s new companion are convinced that their principles are meant for each other, but disillusioned by his father’s second marriage to a scheming younger beauty, Ravenswood is determined to avoid passion and wed for convenience. When it comes to the test, will he really be able to walk away from love?

>> Miss Stevens tickles our fancy –

That phrase just makes my skin crawl.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: >> – tickles our fancy with this delicious cat caper featuring an intricate subplot that captures the imagination with its dash and verve.

‘Kay, so first of all, all of us at Smart Bitches need to start using dash and verve in our reviews, followed by zesty; I’ve seen zesty a few times.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: But –

Amanda: Also, typo! They didn’t end the sentence with a period…

Sarah: No, it’s a comma. You don’t need a, you don’t need a, you don’t need a, a whole, like, period.

Amanda: But all the, all the other reviews end in a period.

Sarah: Yeah, I wonder if they thought that a period was going to end after the parentheses, ‘cause it’s like December, 198 pages, four dollars, fifty cents –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – but I don’t know. So here’s the cover for Lord and Master. It’s a little dark, this image, but if you, if you see, he’s holding a little tiger-striped cat.

Amanda: [Gasps]

Sarah: This –

Amanda: Ooh, look at it!

Sarah: This book is part of a series called Cats of Mayfair. There are four books in the series Cats of Mayfair: A Crime of Manners, Miss Pymbroke’s Rules, Lord and Master, and How the Rogue Stole Christmas, and all of these books – I will send you a link to Goodreads – all of the covers –

Amanda: I’m ready.

Sarah: – feature cats.

Amanda: Cats.

Sarah: And they’re –

Amanda: Ohhh!

Sarah: – so cute. Like, I kind of want to find the original covers, because they are flipping adorable.

Amanda: I want a better – Open image in new tab, and of course it’s, like, a –

Sarah: Yeah, it’s like –

Amanda: – the size of a postage stamp.

Sarah: Yeah, these are not going to get well scanned. I would have to find these used to get good scans of the covers? But if you look at Miss Pymbroke’s Rules, it looks like the cat is standing behind him. He’s, like, bending over this woman, and she’s reaching out for his ear, and the cat is behind them like, What are you doing –

Amanda: Yes!

Sarah: – and why am I not getting a treat right now? You, you are –

Amanda: Please pet me.

Sarah: Pet me. Stop doing that. Like, if they try to, like, lie down on the bed, the cat’s just going to walk on them in a circle: bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Cats of Mayfair! I kind of want –

Amanda: That’s so cute.

Sarah: I want to read these! I mean, they don’t get good reviews, but I – all right, I don’t necessarily want to read them. I want to see the covers.

Amanda: [Laughs] I just want to look at them.

Sarah: I just want to look at them, and I might have to order them, because – oh, I think I might have found a larger – oh, yes, I did. Okay.

Amanda: Scan it.

Sarah: Copy. So here’s the first one, A Crime of Manners, and there’s a cat behind the couple, and the cat has a little –

Amanda: Has a little bandit mask on!

Sarah: He’s got a little bandit mask on! Or maybe that’s its fur, but it’s very cute. Let me find Miss Pymbroke’s Rules. All right, this is not going to be as good of a scan? The cat looks a little ghostly, but there’s a little cat –

Amanda: It looks like a statue.

Sarah: Yeah, it looks like it’s a statue, and it’s like, What the hell is happening here? How the Rogue Stole Christmas is actually a good title, I have to say. Let’s see, How the Rogue Stole – ooh! And let’s see, is there a cat on this cover?

Amanda: Show me the cat!

Sarah: I don’t see a cat. [Gasps] How is there no rogue stealing Christmas with no cat? It’s part of Cats of Mayfair! Where’s the cat, people? Ugh!

Amanda: The rogue steals Christmas?

Sarah: This was published in 1998, and I need everyone involved to go back to the drawing board because there is no cat in the cover of, cover image of this book, and I’m very disappointed, and that guy on the cover also looks like a soap opera star; he’s got soap opera guy haircut.

Amanda: Yeah, I don’t see a cat!

Sarah: There’s no cat! How dare you not have a cat?

Amanda: I’m, like, looking real close. Well, there’s technically, like, a lion head in the design of, like, the mantel, but that’s not –

Sarah: That’s true, there is a lion’s head in the mantel, but that’s not the same as an, a cat.

Amanda: We want an actual cat!

Sarah: I mean, these are adorable, aren’t they? I want to read about the crime of manners. I want to read that one.

Amanda: Oh, the bandit cat.

Sarah: Yeah! Yeah, that’s the one that I want. I want the bandit cat. Lord and Master looks very dark as a, as a scan, but I wonder if I can find A Crime of Manners for sale. Oh my God! There’s a mint copy with the original, original cover, and it’s twenty-five dollars! [Laughs]

Amanda: I mean, still cheaper than a new hardcover.

Sarah: That is true.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: How cute is that?

Amanda: It’s very cute.

Sarah: I was so excited; a whole historical series with cats.

Amanda: We ended on a high note.

Sarah: Yeah! I mean, there weren’t a lot of books, but let me tell you guys –

Amanda: It’s true! [Laughs]

Sarah: – the ads, the ads and features are, oh my God –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – is this a time capsule. Y’all are really going to enjoy that, the next episode.

[music]

Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this week’s episode. I want to know what books you’re going to read from this issue. Are there any that grabbed you? Are you thinking Regency cats like me, or are you thinking former mercenary turned existential martial art philosopher? Because, I mean, all of the possibilities are wonderful. [Laughs]

You can find us on smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast under episode 623. We will have links to all of the books and especially the visual aids post, which is linked in this episode. If you open it up on your little podcast player, there’s going to be a link, and the link will tell you where to go for all of the visual aids; they’re fabulous.

As always, I end with a bad joke, and this joke is from Bull. Hi, Bull!

How old is James Bond supposed to be?

Give up? How old is James Bond supposed to be?

Eh, no one knows! He’s a secret agent.

Get it? Age-nt? Age-nt? [Laughs] Thank you, Bull!

On behalf of everyone here, we wish you the very best of reading. Have a wonderful weekend, and we will see you back here next week.

Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.

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