Romantic Times Rewind: July 2004 Ads and Features

Smart Podcast Trashy Books Romantic Times RewindIn this week’s podcast episode, we’re looking at the advertisements and features inside the July 2004 issue of Romantic Times, aka RT Book Reviews. Or, in this issue, Romantic Times Book Club.

How many names did this magazine have?!

Special and massive thanks to Kay Sisk for sending me this issue!

Ready for an absolute mile and a half of WTFery from nearly 20 years ago? Oh, this is a weird memory lane, y’all. Brace yourself, hold on to your butt, and maybe also grab hold of someone else’s butt to get ready.

You can also find all the RTRW content at our category page for Romantic Times Rewind. And if you want to read the whole issue, if you join the Patreon, you’ll get access to the entire magazine as a PDF.

And, most importantly, if you want to listen and follow along with this entry, you can click play and listen and read and absorb all the visual goodness:


Not only are we taking a nice long look at this cover. There’s a whole entire unicorn.

Oh my gosh. This is going to be something. Ok. so at the top against a green patterned background is the masthead in yellow which reads Romantic Times BOOK club. above in a peach banner with green lettering it reads the magazine for women who love books. then there is, I kid you not, a woman in an iridescent taffeta dress in shades of peach and yellow with wide dark embroidered trim at the neck around the edges of her cape, and at the waist. She's also wearing a pearl I think medallion on her forehead over her dark hair and bangs. Then there is I absolutely am NOT joking, a unicorn. with sparkles in his eyes. The headlines are Medallion Press debuts teen fiction for all ages! mystery road trip to armchair travel with America's favorite sleuths, and over 250 new books reviewed in every issue. WOW.

But to quote Amanda, “Peep those French tips!”

A close up of the very wide, white square french tips on the models hand on the cover

I haven’t seen nails in that style in a long, long time.

This ad for a Diana Palmer was absolutely confusing to us both.

An Ad for HQN with Diana Palmer books, multiple copies, falling off a shelf? Or flying? It's weird the pages are all fanned open and they're falling? We're so confused.

It’s only page 3, but we’re still stuck on the ads.

This ad for I’m No Angel brought back memories. This was such a common illustration style back in the early-mid 2000s, right?

Ad for Patti Berg's I'm not Angel featuring an illustration of a blonde White woman with the thinnest legs and arms and a stretched out angular face.

The illustration is so sharp and thin and stretched out and pointy! So many covers with this style.

And here we go. This is an AD.

The ad for Jewel and the Sword The text reads AN ANCESTRAL SWORD HAS BEEN STOLEN As Meghan Douglas tends to the wounds of her fathers' forces, she discovers she cannot deny the powerful attraction she feels for the captive tied to the bed... The captive who so stubbornly refuses to give up his name. She knows only that he is an English knight, and, an enemy. Prisoner Devlin Barnett finds himself being cared for by a beautiful young woman. Not just any young woman, however, but the daughter of his treacherous foster brother. To make matters worse, he finds his traitorous, vulnerable body responding to the woman's tender ministrations in a most alarming, and conspicuous, manner. When Devlin manages to escape his imprisonment Meghan insists he take her with him. She has yet to learn the identity of her former prisoner. Or of the forces of evil that will be unleashed to separate and destroy.. The Jewel and the Sword There's a lot of filigree and a big bejeweled sword and it's just extremely opulent

ALLIGATOR PANTS AND KNEE ARMOR.

Jewel and the Sword by Marjorie Jones has as green marbled background with a gold filigree frame around two photographed people who were not in the same room when the picture was taken. The guy is shirtless with long brown hair and Pink white skin and a lot of hair, with vambraces on his arms and knee armor but the texture of his pants is alligator? Behind him is a woman with long red hair pushing her hair back, and she's wearing a veyr shiny light blue 'historical-style' gown.

What a gift of a cover, huh?

Oh, hey, remember author blogs? Sorry, WEBLOGS?

Fatin's email to RT! A BLOG A DAY I enjoyed reading Katie MacAlister's "Look Who's Talking" article in the May issue (page 19) on authors and their blogs/journals. Is there any chance RT BOOKclub will do one next for readers and their blogs/journals? For anyone interested, I keep one at mad4rom-bks.blogspot.com. Fatin (last name withheld) via e-mail Thanks for the suggestion, Fatin. Al some point in the future, RT would like to cover how both readers and authors are laking advantage of new web and digital technologies. Readers, of course, can dish about favorite authors on countless message boards, including www.romantictimes.com. and share their deepest musings via personalized weblogs. And thanks to the accessibility of small presses and e-publishers, aspiring authors can take better control over their publishing future by releasing their own novels. Anyone who'd like RT to spotlight their weblog in the magazine is welcome to write us at editorial/@romantictimes.com.

And look who wrote in – hey, Fatin!!

When you track your ship using your Nipple GPS.

An ad for Kresley Cole's The Price of Pleasure which features an illustration of a muscular White man with a semi-mullet and his shirt over one shoulder looking out at a masted ship in full sail but it's in the surf which seems bad from a sailing perspective

Pew pew!

Remember author cruises? Wow, weblogs and cruises.

An Ad for Cruisin with the Authors - Sign up now for a book lovers cruise of a lifetime with a picture of a massive Carnival cruiseship, and the names of the authors attending including Victoria Alexander Catherine Anderson Jo Beverley Connie Brockway Christina Dodd Tim Dorsey Eileen Dryer Christina Feehan Get caught reading at sea October 17-24, 2004

A romance cruise would be VERY fun. We’d all be sacked out in lounge chairs reading and peeking at the covers of everyone’s books, and then drinking. Or both at the same time.

One of several ads for digital presses that no longer exist: Awe-Struck E-Books.

Awe-Struck E-Books, Inc. ∞ www.awe-struck.net The Fourth of July! Firecrackers! Long evenings under the stars...Sparkling lights.. WE haVE hOT summer romances for you fo read in between the celebrations... Sample our sparkling firecracker romances for fun summer reading in the hammock... You can order our trade quality print books directly from www.booksurge.com or from links on our sire: www.awe-struck.net Or call this toll-free number: 1-866-308-6235, ext. 20. Our electronic books are available in any format your romantic heart desires. Just visit: www.awe-struck.ner so see our 100 titles:

At this time, RT was coordinating Booklovers Day at bookstores around the country, and I think one result of that effort was a large number of bookstores featured in this and other issues.

BOoKLOVERS DAY iS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER! If you're a longtime subscriber to Romantic Times BOOKclub, you'll remember that back in the mid-90s RT first organized Booklovers Day. The idea was to bring together readers and their favorite booksellers to celebrate our passion for books. This year it's bock, and we ve set it for NOVEMBER 13 fo help independent bookstores get o jump start on the holiday season. It will be o perfect opportunity for readers to buy lots of books for stocking stuffers and gifts. For years booksellers around the country held Booklovers Day celebrations. The main attraction was local authors, who were invited to autograph their latest books while stores provided balloons and decorations for o festive atmosphere. Diehard customers (the regulars) and local authors helped out by contributing goodies like cookies, cakes and beveroges, and everyone got involved to help the store plan a fun and exciting event to celebrate books and support bookseliers. This year we are declaring November 13, 2004 Booklovers Day, and we urge booksellers, authors and readers to begin planning! BOOKSELLERS WHO WANT TO PARTICIPATE CAN CONTACT KATHRYN FALK AT BARROWLADY@AOL.COM.

And yet, SO many bookstores that are still going strong! Including BooksNMore in Denton, Texas, which I am absolutely going to visit. Look at their website!!

LOOK! Here’s a screen cap. LOOK AT THIS IT IS PERFECT.

A picture of the BOOKS & MORE website which is still up and located in Denton Texas. There is an illustrtion of DeSalvo and a woman in a wide-necked blue gown from a romance cover, below a castle, of course, and buttons for navigation that read home, record hound, romance reader, trade policy, about us Books & More Specializes in Romance Romance readers, we've got you covered! One entire room at Books & More is devoted to romance novels. To make it easier to find exactly what you are looking for, romance books are further grouped by sub-genre including historical, contemporary, suspense, paranormal and category romances by Harlequin or Silhouette. Love historical romance? We have thousands of them. Vampire romances are hot right now. You'll find them in our paranormal section along with werewolves, time travel, urban fantasy and more. Check out our large selection of Romantic Suspense where you'll find favorites such as Sandra Brown, Linda Howard, Kay Hooper and Iris Johansen.

I shall be visiting. I shall be visiting and I shall be checking my suitcase home. Vinyl and Romance.

There was a whole gossip column in this issue! Check this section out:

From the gossip page? NOT JUMPING FOR... Dara Joy's worried fans can relax. The self-published book, That Familiar Touch, which the author was selling on her website back in December for a spring release is final-Iv almost ready. The compilation of stories, fan letters and poetry, was expected to ship earlier this year, but Joy's webmistress reports the novel is still in production. Joy, who's mired in legal battles with former publisher Dorchester and recovering from the recent death of her father, thanked fans for their support and patience. Copies will ship in approximately four weeks. LOW BLOW TO EROTICA Erotic romance publishers could be hurting after the recent announcement by online company PasPal, that they will no longer facilitate sales of erotic romance. PaPal, which handles secure credit card payments, is used by many popular small presses that sell erotic romance, including Ellora's Cave and Liquid Silver. Fans of erotica are crying censorship and wondering if Janet Jackson's infamous Super Bowl

boob-boo has something to do with the decision.

Erotic romance publishers were limited by PayPal – was it because of Janet Jackson’s breast?! Holy time capsule.

That Familiar Touch was indeed released, and then updated with a COVER.  One of the most memorable covers.

The Series Rap Sheet page had this sidebar about Authors on Location. A book release party on the Atlantic City boardwalk casino, and book signings at intermission of I Love You. You’re Perfect. Now Change – what a different time it was.

Authors on location EVERYONE kHOWS thot dedicated readers take their books everywhere. But this summer, you won't have to - some of your favorite authors are signing in unusual locations. Carly Phillips recently celebrated the release of her June hardcover, Under the Boardwalk (Warner), with a "pillow drop" at the Trump Plaza & Casino on a Saturday night and a signing the folloving Sunday. The first book of her Costas Sisters series features heroine Ariana, a Vermont col lege professor posing as a cocktail waitress in an Atlantic City casino to find her kidnapped twin sister. Throughout the summer, Manhattan's long-running off-Broadway musical I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Chonge will host book signings with free champagne before curtain time and during intermission at select Tuesday night per-formances. At press time, Melissa Senate (See Jane Date), Valerie Frankel (The Hot-So-Perfect Man) and Leslie Carroll (Temporary Insanity) were slated to sign on June 1, 8 and 29, respectively. Meri Kassner of SRO Marketing came up with the clever idea to tie the show, a comedy about the ups and downs of relationships, to humorous ficion and nonfiction books that explore that theme. "Everyone has a lot of fun and often the older people will buy the books for their still single kids," she confides. For more information, watch the website: www.loveperfectchange.com

There’s one book being sought that led us to some real-time volunteering: YACHT LIBRARIAN.

Book Sleuth! Seeking and solved! Seeking... A young red-hoired woman goes to work for the mother of a millionaire as a librarian and to help out on his yacht. The woman and the millionaire marry, despite each thinking the other is not in love. The unhappy couple moves to a remote island, where she's isolated from everyone, and ha's almays traveling. In one scene, there's a birthday party for the hero. In the end, she attempts to leave the island via the only boat. He stops her and they reconcile.

The text, since the type is so small:

Book Sleuth! Seeking…

A young red-haired woman goes to work for the mother of a millionaire as a librarian and to help out on his yacht. The woman and the millionaire marry, despite each thinking the other is not in love.

The unhappy couple moves to a remote island, where she’s isolated from everyone, and he’s always traveling. In one scene, there’s a birthday party for the hero. In the end, she attempts to leave the island via the only boat. He stops her and they reconcile.

Do you remember the book with the yacht librarian? I feel like that’s a profession that’s pretty rare. The libraries in this post on Boat International seem in need of professional assistance, oh, for sure.

Sidenote: do you know how fast I’d consume a series about a yacht librarian?

Look at this marvelous profile of The Book Barn!

An Article about the Book Barn in niantic, CT, with an image of the building, and the text reads ONCE INA WILE you stumble across a place that's so extraordinary you're torn between wanting to keep it secret and taking out a 30-second spot during the Super Bowl to let everyone know about it. ThE Book Barn in Niantic, Connecticut, is that amazing, and a big reason it's so special is the paperback selection of romances.

RT BOOKclub got this answer so right:

A letter to the editor about ebooks: Where the e-books Are Dear RT BOOKclub I want to thank vou for your report on Ellora's Cave (February). I have found so many wonderful stories. Is Ellora's Cave the only e-publishing company that you review, or are there others? Amber Harris via e-mail Ellora's Cave, a successful erotica -book company that's looking to expand into other fictional genres, isn't the only e-book publisher we review. We've been reviewing e-books of all genres since their inception several years ago. Readers won't find them listed separately because our book reviews are categorized according to genre, not format. But within our review sections, -books are indicated in review beads and on our ratings pages. Also, you can search for e-books via our online review database. www.romantictimes.com. You can also find e-books by visiting the websites of e-book publishers. Check out Hard Shell Word Factory (www.hardshell.com), New Concepts Publishing (www.newconcepts.com), LTD Books (www.ltdbooks. com), Awe-Struck (www.awe-struck.net), Wings ePress (www.wings-press.com) and Liquid Silver (www.liquidsilver.com) to name a few.

“Our reviews are categorized by genre, not format.” Remember when that was a big debate?

Also, moment of silence for presses which no longer exist.

I also remember this promotion from Kensington:

A Kensington ad with a purple background and the text. Falling in love has never been this easy Remember discovering that very special author before anyone else? Take a chance each month and fall in love with these dazzling new stars of tomorrow--all endorsed by New York Times bestselling authors, available at an affordable price of $3.99. The books feautred are Paula Reed, Into His Arms Kate Rothwell, Somebody Wonderful Flo Fitzpatrick, Ghost of a Chance Sandy Blair - Man in a Kilt Barbara Plum, Prince of Frogs Kristina Cook, Unlaced All have very simple covers with a small image or illustration and mostly title and author name as text

$3.99 debut authors! Endorsed by NYT bestselling authors!

And then, the ad we could have done a whole episode on:

Ellora's Cave presents MANACONDA. We could do one single episode about this one ad. There's a naked muscly White guy from the back with a silver snake wrapped around him and his bum is covered by the words Now Available in Print and eBook There are images for some of the books I've screencapped in other images all of them are computer generated images of people. The text reads ELLORA'S CAVE PRESEnTS MANACONDA SHERRI L. KING The Horde Wars: Sacred Eden LORA LEIGH Knight Stalker JAID BLACK Trek Mi Q'am: Devilish Dot NOW AVAILABLE IN PRINT AND EBOOK AN ANTHOLOGY OF EPIC PROPORTIONS the Congratulations to these award winning authors

Here are some of the covers so you can get an extensive look:

Sarah McCarty - Promises Keep with shiny computer generated naked people in a bathtub together, the man has brown skin (YIKES) and a big cowboy hat, and the woman is very pale and blonde except for her knees, which are sticking out of the water and are bright red

An image of two Ellora's Cave covers. King of Hearts by Cheyenne McCray features a computer generated Poser image of a very pale white woman with wide eyes and her finger touching her chin with her hand splayed open as she gazes at a shirtless naked man with a red scarf over his bits Arda the Sailmaster's woman by Annie Windsor is a blonde Poser Computer generated White woman with long white hair, red lips and a lace up top barely containing her extremely large and round breasts dancing I think? With a dark haired shirtless White guy with black pants and a massive belt it's very weird they look like they are doing a tango in space except her arm is bent and reaching up behind his neck but with the angle her arm is about nine yards long

Remember when so, so many covers were like these?

And speaking of covers.

Are these people mid-coitus?

Julia Keaton's Stranger in my bed. There's a naked man face down on top of a woman who is on her side and looking over her shoulder at him but it looks like they are absolutely mid-coitus. Behind them is an open window and a full moon

I almost subtitled this episode, “The hypotenuse of the fucking triangle.”

This cover was part of an ad for New Concepts publishing, and the other covers are equally wild:

Jaide Fox's Intergalactice Bad Boys has a purple background, a woman with sheer fabric over her boobs and her groin, and her hair blowing to the side. Behind her is this absolutely gigantic man with a dark mahogany chest, some kind of diving suit tht's open to his ribs, and hair that's mostly covering his face and also blowing to the side. It's so weird. and uncanny valley

Are these Jonas brothers??!

A cover for His Wicked Ways by Jaide FOx, with an illutstration of two men in regency wear who look at LOT like two of the Jonas brothers, both groping a woman with red hair and a blue gown

Amanda thinks this looks like Matt Dillon:

The cover of Tears of the Dragon by Angelique Anjou, which has a weird photoshopped illustration of a mostly naked muscly white man with long hair and like steel girders stuck to his shoulders, forearms and waist? It's wild

There were SO many articles on writing, craft, prose, etiquette.

And Clip Art.

The start of an article titled How to Stop SHooting your writing career in the foot, with a clip art image of a very intense white Woman with gritted teeth in a red skirt and heels and a red and yellow striped tie (?) holding a manila envelope and RUNNING. The text reads HOW TO STOP SHOOTING YOUR WRITING CAREER IN THE FOOT No. 7: Never Submit Less Than Your Best Work By Alice Orr Stop! Let go of that manila envelope this instant! You're not ready for a dash to the post office. ThE PROOF is in the pudding, and dessert time is here. It had better be as creamy delicious as you can make it. I'm talking about your manuscript, the one you submit to book editors and literary agents. You've just finished that manuscript. You type "The End" on screen and are rewarded with an incredible burst of enthusiasm. The person who set the spire atop the Empire State Building could not have experienced a greater sense of accomplishment than you are experiencing now. Rethink those notes as you read through your manuscript, looking for ways to increase its appeal. Use the following questions to guide this process. How can I give my story a stronger narrative hook? Make my initial idea more intriguing? The opening more dramatic? How can I make my protagonist more sympathetic to the reader? More admirable or heroic?

The Sex, Lies, and Videotape ad – promoting three authors, their books, and and book tour:

This is an ad for Deborah Donnelly, Roberta Isleib and Libby Hellmann doing book tours as the "Sex, Lies & Videotape trio." There are four sections with a header and then the books May The Best Man Die by Deborah Donnelly, Putt to Death by Robert Isleib, and An Image of Death by Libby Fischer Hellmann The text of the ad reads Sex, Lies, and Videotape Deborah Donnelly Roberta Isleib Libby Fischer Hellmann What do you call three amateur sleuths who work as a wedding planner, a pro golfer, and a video producer? Sex, Lies, and Videotape, of course. SEX Long, tall Carnegie Kincaid, wedding planner extraordinaire, ventures off her Seattle houseboat to deal with a drowned best man, a stripper in a Santa suit, and a murderous chase through a coffee roasting plant. Meanwhile, with a beguiling new suitor on the scene, will reporter Aaron Gold win his way back into Carnegie's heart? Read more at http://www.deborahdonnelly.org LIES Golf pro Cassie Burdette hires on at an exclusive country club, hoping to ride out a career slump and brighten her lackluster love life. When she stumbles over the body of an unpopular member, she suspects that more than women's golf privileges must be at stake. VIDEOTAPE Chicago video producer and single mom Ellie Foreman receives a surveillance tape that shows the murder of a young woman. Subsequent sleuthing brings Ellie up against disreputable bankers, the Russian mafia.. and her disgruntled boyfriend. Read more at bellmann.com

And high fives to Deborah Donnelly, whose book was made into a Hallmark movie!

Inside the article outlining what sleuths are in what parts of the country or the world:

A clip from an article about mysteries by region, that reads As you travel west through PennsvIvania, don't count on Bubbles Yablonsky slotting you in for a quick wash and cut. Sarah Strohmeyer's Lehigh hairdresser has been honing her reporting skills in hopes of a full-time career change. But you should be able

A sleuth named Bubbles Yablonsky, from Lehigh, PA. As a person raised in western Pennsylvania, this struck a particular warm nostalgia in my heart that I can’t articulate. The first book is Bubbles Unbound.

“Fueled by Velveeta, Doritos, and Diet Pepsi.”

Hand on my heart, I love this so much.

Men. With. Pens.

The headline from the MEN WITH PENS (ew) column in RT. There's a clip art lion with red and orange mane and a crown on his head and the text reads Kings of the Jungle In thE WORLD of publishing, il's a jungle out therel From a spellbinding thriller to a sweet love story, from comic lad lit to the retelling of a biblical story, the male species is showing off its prowess of the pen this month. Here's a look at two leaders of the pack and two hot up-and-comers making a mighty (up)roar.

Kings of the Jungle. OK. Oh, and another reference to “Lad Lit.”

This is the original masthead font for SBTB!

This ad headline is in the same font as the original SBTB masthead. I cannot remember what the name of the font is. below are three books Pink Slip Party, Clearing the Aisle, and Do Me Do My Roots. The headline reads Books that are better than boyfriends. (Hey, at least they 'll still be there in the morning!)

And another bit of SBTB nostalgia:

An ad for BookFree, Borrow Romance Novels SAVE TIME AND MONEY' Books on CD also available! It was a mail order lending library basically of paperbacks. I subscribed at the time we started SBTB.

BooksFree, which is now BookLender.com, was one of the reasons I had romance novels to review when the site started. I was reading the romances I had from BooksFree.

What. Does this even. MEAN.

A New Look for Temptation's Heat What does this mean. HARLEQUIN TEMPTATION'S INLINE Subseries Heat gets a hot new cover look beginning in September. Covers will feature contemporary clinch photographs surrounded by a sizzling red border and bold fonts. Temptation Senior Editor Brenda Chin says the new covers reflect the intensity of the books: "The Heat miniseries showcases the hottest, sexiest books in Temptation. They're young and hip, reflecting the atfitude and energy of the series, and a great means of tempting new readers to discover our very talented author base." Leslie Kelly, whose Temptation novel Wickedly Hot will be the first of three books trying the new covers, loves the sexier look. "When the reader sees it on the shelf, she's going to know exadly the kind of read she's getting - one that's wickedly hot!" The books featured are Wickedly Hot by Leslie Kelly, Seduce me by Jill Shalvis, and Unforgettable by Rhonda Nelson

“Harlequin Temptation’s inline subseries Heat…” A sizzling red border!

And speaking of publishing announcements:

A screenshot of an article about Steeple Hill cafe with a big purple clip art tea cup with a curl coming out of it, and HIP LIT and STEEPLE HILL CAFE are all stylized in this very curly font that's very early 2000s. The text reads INSPIRATIONAL "HiP Lit" TO BE SERVED'AT steeple hill café HARLEQUIN'S INSPIRATIONAL IMPRINT, Steeple Hill, is hoping its readers' appetite for chick lit is still insatiable. In October, the imprint launches Steeple Hill Café, a new trade paperback line presenting one book every other month that features "current, capable and mainstream-saw Christian heroines" for twenty-, thirty- and fortysomethings. (She can be anything from a hairdresser to a tightrope walker, as long as she regularly attends church.) Steeple Hill is comparing its new venture to popular TV shows like Seventh Heaven and Joan of Arcadia, which are mainstream but still showcase Christian values. The slogan for the new line is "life, faith and getting it right."

Do you remember when SO MANY THINGS had that loopy font?

Did you know there were people writing fantasy? WOMEN writing fantasy!

An ad from Tor books with pictures of four novels The Wayfarer Redeption and Threshold by Sara Douglass and Wolfskin and Foxmask by Juliet Marillier. The text at the top reads DISCOVER THE ACCLAIMED VOICES OF WOMEN IN FANTASY NEW FROM TOR BOOKS So romantasy has been a thing for a while - just has a new name.

I had to grab this ad because Amanda loves Juliet Marillier.

Continuing our exploration of FONTS OH MY.

This ad for Geralyn Dawson's books is hilarious. The font for the titles is EXTREMELY LOOPY with lots of loops and curls and it makes the text look distorted or mis-spelled. There's a gold boot in the foreground with yellow roses and a texas flag sticking out. The text reads NEW FROM THE USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHOR GERALYN DAWSON My Long Tall, Texas Heartthrob But the font looks like it reads TEAEAS Heartthrob When Tess Anderson leaves her glamorous life to help her sister give birth in a one-horse Texas town, she doesn't plan on staying for long. But a certain handsome Texas hunk might have other ideas..

Teæas!

Time out for “The Wishin’ Boot!” 

We had a lot of questions about this ad:

A column ad for a book IN YOUR EYES by Laura Moore, showing a woman in a sheer nightgown with one leg up on a wood fence against a sunset of orange, pink, and purple. The text reads NEW_ FROM THE ACCLAIMED AUTHOR OF NIGHT SWIMMING One rai IN YOUR EYES LAURA MOORE "It is always a thrill to discover a marvelous new talent in romantic fiction. Laura Moore is] a star on the rise!" Romantic Times On sale now in paperback Seeing is believing in love.

That is the most generic romance ad.

This ad is also a time capsule!

An ad for Romance Writing for Dummies by Harlequin Executive Editor Leslie Wainger. After nearly 25 years of experience acquiring and editing bestselling authors such as Linda Howard, Heather Graham and Sharon Sala. Leslie Winger offers her expertise to jumpstart your writing career in this definitive romance writing guide for beginners! Writinga Romance Novel Get a 20% Discount With purchase from dummies.com. Use the promo code: NOVEL - expires 12/31/2004

 

There was a tiny, tiny picture of this cover in the magazine, but seeing it in a larger image doesn’t help.

The cover for Linda HOwards KISS ME WHILE I SLEEP which, no thank you. The majority of the cover is purple with black letters for the author name and white for the title but at the bottom is a fuzzy horizontal image of a woman laying on top of a guy, and she's naked but her nipple has been photoshopped out? It's wild

Classifieds!

A classified ad for BOOK QUEST BOOK QUEST- We specialize in hard-to-find romances. Send us your list & SASE and we'll send you prices for the books we have and search for any we don't. Reasonable rates, no obligation. So stop wishing you had those books and start making sour wishes come rue! Book Quest, P.O. Box 132, Bountiful,

Book Quest would find hard-to-locate romances for you – what a neat service.

Classified Ad "BOOKS I°VE READ"_ A journal for avid readers. Keep track of books you have read. Organize vour favorite authors. Includes binder, tabs, 100 author pages & a readers shopping list. $14.99 + $3.00 s+h. Books I've Read, PO. Box 195265, Winter Springs, FL 32719. or visit www.booksiveread.com. Classified Ad ONLINEUSED BOOKSTORE Rereadables awww.rereadables.com.sells used books for as low as 50 cents. Choose from thousands of authors and titles in the online catalog. Categories include romance, Harlequin, Gothic, mystery and more. Orders are shipped within 48 hours of receipt of payment.

Rereadables.com is still going!

This ad is bizarre.

THIS AD IS SO WEIRD. Seriously it's so strange. There's an image of an illustrated dragon in green and burgundy making sexy eyes at the reader with a tiny photo of I think Helen Rosburg resting against his chest, and then another image of a smiling Rosburg in a green historical gown with a square neckline and a large white apron or column on the front of the skirt. And the text is absolutely wild. Buckle up. "I'm so glad you're here, Faiggor." the princess sighed, leaning into the dragon's scaly embrace. "It's been so long since I've seen you." "Yes, it has been a long time, and you've grown, little one. You've become, ah, quite... lumpy, I see." The princess grimaced unroyally. "Indeed, I have. And ever since l have, there's been an unending stream of annoying suitors. Thanks, by the way, for taking care of that one" she added, pointing at the mangled remains of armor and chain mail. "He was such a nerd. "No problem." Faiggor picked a morsel of flesh from between his teeth. "Glad to be of service. *I just hope you can be as helpful to Mom and the Veep. There isn't enough cheese in all of Medallion Land to go with their whine: "So I've heard. "Yeah, that's why they sent for you. They think you can help. "I'm a dragon, love, not a magician, Faggor drawled. "Nevertheless Casi "So, how may I be of service, your royal hindness... er, highnesses?" Faiggor executed an more impressive bow. "About time you got here," the queen pouted. "I'm sad and lonely and you have to do something about it. I need a new husband." *I suppose the same goes for you, your royal viceness?" "Uh, yeah," the vice queen muttered, vaguely confused "And how do you propose I go about this, o majestic ones?" The queen made an impatient little moue. *You're a dragon, stupid Just go pluck a couple of likely looking candidates out of wherever you find em and bring 'em here for inspection.! "And if they don't pass inspection? *Well, the queen replied, the ghost of a smile tugging at her normally down.turned mouth. "Here's the plan Jo Be Continued live Your Dreams With Medallion Press Books. www.medallionpress.com

We think this is an ad for the press? Like the horny dragon was doing acquisitions?

And in the section for RT Book Lovers Convention, check out all the PARTIES.

A list of parties at RT in 2005! We missed some good ones WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27 7~SoM RT WELCOME PARTY 3•#-12.30M SIRE DON AND DEVILISH DoT DEMONSTRATIONS AND SALES 9FM-12:30AM ELLORA'S CAVE FANTASY PARTY THURSDAY, APRiL 28 8:30-10aM MIXER 19-30-230pM RT AWARDS LUNCHEON 5-7PM. NOVELBOOKS, INC. COCKTAIL MIXER 8PIA~12:30AM COSTUME EXTRAVAGANZA AND ROSBURG COSTUME BAL (FRENCH THEME) FRIDAY, APRIL 29 8:30-10AM MIXER 12:30-2:30PM SALUTE THE TOP BUYERS LUNCHEON 5 7PM SF ROMANCE COCKTAIL MIXER 9p~ 12:30AM HEATHER GRAHAM'S OZ PARTY SATURDAY, APRIL 30 8:30-10AM MIXER 9-11AM YOUNG ADULT WRITERS WORKSHOPS FOR TEENS 9:30-10:30Am MILITARY PANEL 11AN-3PM. BOOK FAIR 3-4PM SALUTE TO MILITARY SPOUSES MIXER 3~5рм YOUNG ADULT MIXER 5-7PM COVER MODEL COMPETITION 7:30-9PM AUSSIE PARTY [INVITATION ONLY) 8 9PM CONNIE MASON PARTY (INVITATION ONLY) 9PM- 12:30AM DORCHESTER SPEAKEAsY 9~11ри CASINO /CARD GAMES

And these panel discussion topic divisions are really odd: Paranormal, Mystery & Suspense, Chick Lit…

Genre programs for the 2005 RT Convention include PARANORMAL, Mystery and suspense, Chick Lit and Vampire. It's weird.

…and Vampire.

Meanwhile, in the reviews for this issue, there wasn’t even a paranormal section. It was ‘New Reality.’

Wow, that was a trip back through time!

And remember, if you join the Patreon, you’ll get access to the entire issue as a PDF. ALL THE UNICORN COVER PDF YOU CAN HANDLE.

What do you think? Do you remember all these digital presses? And all the Poser covers? 

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  1. Kim says:

    Those Ellora’s Cave ads are making me want to go play The Sims 2!

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