Paul Tolme: “I’ve been properly spanked.”

I was working on a list of questions submitted by Bitchery readers for an interview with freelance writer Paul Tolme, but unfortunately, Mr. Tolme is on deadline, and has found that he does not have the time for an interview with us as originally thought. Major bummer! He has, however, written the following letter.

First off, thanks for all the kind comments. The response to my story has been overwhelming. You romance novel readers and writers are a passionate bunch. I’ve been applauded, castigated, criticized and propositioned.

Now let me apologize. I poked fun at the entire genre of romance novels in my story, and that was wrong. For this I have been disciplined. I was a bad boy, and I’ve been properly spanked. Not all romance novels are created equal.

Lastly, the outpouring of financial support for black-footed ferrets by romance readers and writers including Nora Roberts and Smart Bitches is extremely heartening. This crazy saga of plagiarism and hot romance has done more to highlight the plight of black-footed ferrets than any event in recent history.

Through the efforts of individuals such as Travis Livieri and others, the species is slowly returning. There are now 1,000 in the wild, and captive breeding programs are helping to reintroduce ferrets to more portions of their former range every year. The big obstacle is habitat loss. The vast prairie ecosystem that once covered the heartland of our nation has been almost entirely converted to human uses. Surely we can save a few small corners of the prairie for black-footed ferrets, prairie dogs and other threatened species such as burrowing owls and mountain plovers. It is a test of our humanity.

Best wishes and lots of love to all you romance readers. Your passion is sorely needed in the effort to save not just black-footed ferrets but all endangered species. I urge you to learn more by visiting sites such as, and Having my work copied in a romance novel has introduced me to an audience of readers I knew little about, and for that I am glad.

Now if you will excuse me I have to get to work on my sexy wildlife romance novel.


Paul Tolme


General Bitching...

Comments are Closed

  1. That rocks!  I hope he enjoyed being spanked.

  2. Katie W. says:

    I’ve got a bit of a crush on the guy, now.  He’s sexy. Rowr.

    And fess up: Which Bitchery reader propositioned him? Because you have fantastic taste.

    I love how he is so devoted to those adorable ferrets. Sexy.

  3. Mel-O-Drama says:


    Bit of a crush here, frankly.

  4. I’m not really thinking about ferrets right now….

  5. Is that a ferret in his trousers or is he just glad to see us?

  6. azteclady says:

    Katie W, I think it was more like a shower of propositions…

    And this guy is definitely a class act.

    Hopefully the SBs will be able to entice him to mosey on over for an interview later on? *hint hint nudge nudge*

  7. SB Sarah says:

    Trust me, azteclady, I’m working on it.

  8. Nora Roberts says:

    Okay, the guy is officially adorable.

  9. Susan says:

    What a great guy. I’m in love.

  10. Liz C. says:

    Whew. Glad I’m not the only one with a small crush on the guy.

    And if I hadn’t just stupidly paid an extra student loan payment I’d donate to the ferrets, too.

  11. Katie W. says:

    azteclady: Great observation. You’re probably right. In fact, this comment thread is definitely look like a shower of propositions 🙂

    His email is on his Paul Tolme website, maybe the Bitchery can help entice him to come back for an interview when he has the time. If I weren’t married, I might even throw in a proposition of my own.

    And Nora, is your next hero going to be a witty, sexy, ferret-saving journalist perchance? *wink wink nudge nudge*

  12. azteclady says:


    *waiting (im)patiently for Mr Tolmé‘s visit to the Bitchery*

    (That weird sound you hear is my gleefully wicked laughter, by the way)

  13. R. says:

    It is a test of our humanity.

    The man has a huge heart and a deep soul, and—to repeat myself—he definitely knows how to turn a phrase.

    Here’s wishing him success in all his endeavors, and not just in his sexy wildlife romance novel.  Where can we pre-order that one?

  14. SB Sarah says:

    As a voracious reader of romance, can I expect romances in the coming year or so about hot dedicated wildlife researchers and writers?

    I can has wildlife romance pls?

  15. S says:

    He has a lovely way with words. And I bet there will be a LOT more romance novels about kind, brave savers of ferrets.

  16. Ocy says:

    “You romance novel readers and writers are a passionate bunch. I’ve been applauded, castigated, criticized and propositioned.”

    He sounds rather pleased by all of the above.

    If they weren’t before, Paul Tolme has made ferrets sexy.

  17. Trollop says:

    Re: And fess up: Which Bitchery reader propositioned him? Because you have fantastic taste.

    I don’t know who else “propositioned” him but I wrote him a gushing email and a love declaration post in my blog LOL

    This guy is beyond adorable *sigh*

  18. JaneyD says:

    For my donation may I please have a plushy of HIM instead of a ferret?

    I feel like having a bit of a cuddle.

  19. Lisa says:

    OMG.  If I didn’t have the most perfect man in the world already in the form of my not-a-chief-but-love-him-anyway Navajo fiance, I would SO GO FOR PAUL TOLME!!!

    But for you single girls out there—keep saving those ferrets.  I bet he thinks that’s hawt! 🙂

  20. Gennita Low says:

    How do you know he’s single?  😉

    You know, it’d have made more sense had he written a romance novel and during the love scene, a family of ferrets popped out of nowhere and his characters started spouting wildlife research data.  Then we’d have said, “Oh, that Tolme, he just have to sneak his beloved ferrets in somehow!”

  21. Goblin says:

    First off, thanks for all the kind comments. The response to my story has been overwhelming. You romance novel readers and writers are a passionate bunch. I’ve been applauded, castigated, criticized and propositioned.

    The snappy writing style demonstrated in that paragraph alone validates everyone who said non-fiction writers have as much talent, put as much effort into their writing, and deserve as much credit for their work as fiction writers do.

    That guy writes well. That guy cares about the subjects he writes about. That guy does not deserve to have his words stolen.

  22. jessica says:

    Okay I admit it, I have a crush on him too.

  23. Goblin says:

    Hee! Look what I just saw on Fandom Wank (this is a user picture for Pfeffermuse.)

  24. Katie W. says:

    Ooh! I want that userpic! But I’m no thief so I’ll have to come up with my own spin on it.

    Thanks Goblin for posting it! It’s great.

  25. Catherine Grace says:

    Katie W. maybe you can ask Pfeffermuse if you can use it with proper credit? I know on livejournal icon swapping happens all the time (and with proper credit most icon makers usually don’t mind).

    As for Paul Tolme, he’s one sexy dude. Has someone been converted to Romance Novel Land?

    hah, recent41, for a recent convert. 🙂

  26. mstater says:

    I’ve been wondering about what to ask for for my upcoming birthday, and this sounds just perfect.

    Uhm, adopting a ferret that is, not Mr. Tolme. Though he is quite sexy, an adoption certificate would probably be easier to mail across the Atlantic than he would be.

  27. Catherine Grace says:

    er, make that journalfen. I knew that.

  28. TracyS says:

    LOL I love his writing “voice”!

  29. ttthomas says:

    Ok this guy is so cool! Notice how he talks about passion with such…ease. Those t-shirt designs are great (hope it’s OK I linked to them on my own blog). I love how this has turned into such a positive experience, as well as a learning experience for all of us. I know I’ve learned a lot. Thanks everyone, this has been a really unbelievable and memorable event.

  30. talpianna says:

    Let’s have kudos (and perhaps donations) for The Nature Conservancy, which is buying up land in the prairie/plains states to restore the grasslands of the high prairies.  They are also reintroducing species like the buffalo, the prairie dog, and the black-footed ferret, now that they have re-created their habitats.

    Guess the Ghost Dances finally worked.

    Word Verification:  not26—but oh! how I wish I were!

  31. Oooh, Mr. Tolme says naughty things about romance novels and gets spanked!

    Is it just me, or is it hot in here?

    And Janet M? If I can find a way to work “trouser ferret” into one of my historicals, I’ll be sure to credit you.

  32. sandyLou says:

    I fall more in love with this guy every time he says something.

  33. dragonette says:

    awesome; what a sweetheart he is.  but… I wanted to spank him!!!!!


  34. Ehren says:

    —For my donation may I please have a plushy of HIM instead of a ferret?

    I feel like having a bit of a cuddle.—

    HERE HERE! I want a plushy too! XD Or maybe just HIM. *shifty eyes*

  35. Personally, I’m blown away by how well he’s handled the whole situation.  Plus, yes, he’s good looking.  That usually helps.

    And hey, without him, I would never have adopted Clover, the black footed ferret.


  36. Kristie(J) says:

    I read the Newsweek article and thought it was a hoot.  I liked him then with his sense of humour and now I like him even better.

  37. laurad says:

    “The King of the Ferret Leggers” by Donald Katz.  Read at your own risk. (If my link works, that is.)

  38. Barb Ferrer says:

    Okay, that officially rocked.  What a cool guy.

    (And how tickled am I that my security word is volume83?)

  39. desertwillow says:

    He is too cool! This is one of the better kerfluffles in recent years. I wish all of them would turn out so well.

    Ferret hugs all around! Do they hug?

    Or do they nuzzle?

  40. azteclady says:

    They nuzzle, and they are absolutely adorable, dessertwillow.

    It helps, though, if you are not bothered by their musk—some people say that ferrets stink. Me, I think it’s a warm scent, and love it.

Comments are closed.

By posting a comment, you consent to have your personally identifiable information collected and used in accordance with our privacy policy.

↑ Back to Top