Breaking News: Sarah Faints Over Grudge Match

Not only did four people forward me The News Story Of The Day To End All News Stories Ever, but a friend of mine texted me to tell me about George Clooney and Fabio getting into a shoving match at a NY restaurant.

According to the variety of sources carrying the story, Fabio and some lady friends were having dinner, when Clooney asked them to stop taking pictures – sources theorize that Clooney thought they were taking pictures of him.

Fabio got up and went over to George’s table — not to apologize, but to explain that the photos weren’t of George. “I thought you were a nice guy,” Fabio, 48, said to George, 46. “Stop being a diva.” Those were apparently fighting words, because George stood up and the two started arguing until George went to push Fabio.

“Stop Being a Diva!” might be the new battle cry of the Smart Bitches, certainly. At least, this one.

As Lizzie said in her email, “Who is famous-er? Whose manager talks more smack? Who assumes anyone with a camera out is pointing it at him? Who you calling a diva? Who will YOU root for in Fabio v. George Clooney?”

Good question! Who is your money on in a grudge match: Clooney or Fabio? I have to say, I like both men. I find Clooney fascinating because he’s talented and smart and has a sense of humor – but I have a soft spot for Fabio because he doesn’t take himself so seriously. Any man that can walk around with giant manboobs and shill for margarine is a man for me to have a beer with any time. But in terms of a fight? My money’s on Fabio.

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  1. Kimberly Anne says:

    Clooney, for sure.  Fabio may be bigger and stronger, but I bet old Georgy boy fights dirty.  After all, with all of that Fabiolicious hair to pull, who wouldn’t?

  2. sara says:

    I dunno, George has a bad back. But I’m sure he could rally an army of angry, lusty women to attack Fabio on his behalf.

  3. Ann Aguirre says:

    I am dying here. Fabio said, “Stop being a diva”?

    Too. Much. Awesome.

    I must hie myself to the Kitchen of Love to make a poem commemorating this occasion. And I’m back! Fabio’s magnets say to George:

    Fork you
    Take your dinner to the kitchen
    Melon head.

  4. Wry Hag says:

    Ann, can you really compose poetry with your refrigerator magnets?  Shee-it, I am sunk in a quagmire of envy right now.

  5. Jackie says:

    Fabio! Fabio!

  6. Ann Aguirre says:

    Wry Hag, they’re not MY magnets. They’re Fabio’s! Go make your own poem here. Click on the refrigerator magnets, once the site loads.

  7. Becky says:

    I doubt there’d be hair pulling.  Clooney values his rep as a manly man too much.  But I bet he’d go for a kidney punch or a kick to the knee.

  8. ardith says:

    I read about that this morning on Oh No They Didn’t (Live Journal community). It was all I could do to not cry from laughing.

    It must have been allll kinds of awesome.

  9. Laura says:

    Fabio was so in the right here. He stood up for his gal pal, called George a diva, and got cursed at and shoved for his trouble. Did you notice who ended up leaving the restaurant?  George did.

    I can’t wait for someone to parody this on Utube.

  10. Teddy Pig says:

    Stop Being A Diva!

    Fabio is full of win.

  11. Lorelie says:

    No, no, the real fun is imagining George calling up his pal Brad and telling him that Fabio ran him out of a restaurant.

  12. Angelina says:

    I’m in the Go Fabio camp! George doesn’t stand a chance.

  13. denni says:

    God I love this website, poetry for all occasions, even a diva dust up.

    Fabio should watch his backside, in case they sic Angelina on him.  Any woman that skinny has to be mean from lack of food

  14. Lizzie (greeneyed fem) says:

    I also love how George was on a date while Fabio was at a table with a “group” of women. Can we get numbers? How many women does it take to handle the man that is Fabio?

    And yes, from all accounts, George is the one who acted the douche. Not everyone wants your photo, George! Diva.

  15. dillene says:

    Oh God, now I’m thinking of Angelina and Fabio.  You people, of all people, know what happens when a beautiful, high-spirited (crazy) woman like Angelina attacks a giant manslab like Fabio!

    “They began as bitter rivals…”

  16. Fabio is still around?

  17. Dak says:

    I couldn’t resist Ann’s poetry challenge.

    Hot friction over meal
    You push
    I pull
    It’s time
    To hug it out

    Wow.  It’s even awesomer when Fabio reads it to me. Hee!

  18. Rachel says:

    In terms of brute mantitty, I’d say Fabio… but George is smart and scrappy, I could see him dodging until the last minute, then winning in some brilliant turn-about. But really, in a fight between George and Fabio, aren’t we ALL the winners?

  19. Teddy Pig says:

    This calls for mud wrestling in g-strings!

  20. MamaNice says:

    My vote is for the butterboy. Like the SB said, I love me a man that can make fun of himself. George takes his Diva-self way too seriously. I find nothing remotely sexy about him – so I wouldn’t bother snapping pics of him either. If I was the next table over it’d be, “Um, dude? Could you move out of the way? I’m trying to get a picture of Fabio!”

  21. asrai says:

    “Oh God, now I’m thinking of Angelina and Fabio.  You people, of all people, know what happens when a beautiful, high-spirited (crazy) woman like Angelina attacks a giant manslab like Fabio!

    “They began as bitter rivals…””

    Somehow that makes me want to write it into fanfic. Starts off as bitter rivals … ends up with Fabio stealing her away from Brad. I mean, who can compete with his Fabioness?

  22. Mel L. says:

    Oh no, MamaNice. We’re about to fight.

    I don’t care who I was with, if I had a camera and saw George Clooney at the table next to me, you can bet I’d be snapping away. George is tall, dark and sexy as a mother fucker. Fabio is laughable. Those chicks at the table with him were probably just happy to get out of the house, and would have thrown him over for George in a heartbeat.

    My money’s on Clooney, but Rachel’s right. In a fight like this, when the truly nasty fur flies and George takes off his shirt, we ARE all winners!

  23. Arethusa says:

    ‘Oh God, now I’m thinking of Angelina and Fabio.  You people, of all people, know what happens when a beautiful, high-spirited (crazy) woman like Angelina attacks a giant manslab like Fabio!

    “They began as bitter rivals…”’

    Someone must write a romance of this right now! I’d totally buy it. I am also 100% behind Fabio because I’ve known him since I was a wee pre-teen pilfering romances from my mother’s bookshelf. Also that diva line is hilarious.

  24. Josie says:

    Go Fabio!
    I have to know though – why, oh why is there no footage of this?
    *cries*

  25. SB Sarah says:

    Afternoon radio was ALL OVER this story today, since it’s New York and the unofficial self(Centered) center of the universe. Just about everyone I heard talking about it said Fabio would break Clooney like a twig.

    Fabio’s liability would be his hair. Clooney would pull it and hard, too.

    But I’m still putting my hot dollar on Fabio.

  26. Heidi says:

    Fabio, of course!!

    I don’t know who George thinks he is, but anyone who sees a camera and automatically assumes it is aimed at him is a little diva-ish to me. Yo George, you aren’t all that!

    And that Fabio site!! Ann, thanks so much for the link 🙂 It is muy fabuloso!

  27. Qadesh says:

    I seem to be thinking on a bit bigger scale than the rest of you.  I’m thinking, “Let’s get ready to ruuummmbblee!”

    George puts a call out to Brad, Matt Damon and the rest of the Ocean’s 11, 12, and 13 cast.  While Fabio rings up the rest of his romance cover buddies. And it’s chains, fists, and hair spray at midnight.  And we all know, divas fight dirty.

    I wonder if they would sell tickets.  I couldn’t have cared less about Kid Rock and Tommy Lee, but George and Fabio?  I’d buy tickets.

  28. TracyS says:

    I have to say that from the details Fabio called it right, George was acting like a diva.  Dude, not everyone wants your picture!

    And did you read the comments? The one about the beard? Killed me. srsly.

  29. I loves me some Fabio!  Man can laugh at himself, salvages his career by moving into comedy ads and has the balls to call George Clooney a diva!

    The Fabster can be on the cover of my books anytime!

  30. Robyn says:

    Fabio. No contest. I’ve loved George for a long time, but he sounds like a tool.

  31. Nancy Beck says:

    “Stop being a diva!”

    and

    Fork you, George!

    Oh, I’m dying here.  This is TOO TOO much.  And I’m loving every minute of it.

  32. JaneyD says:

    My money’s on George.  He’s survived being in a Tarentino film.

    (Hell, Uma Thurman could win against Fabio.)

    George did the right thing walking away from Diva-Man.

    Had Diva-Man ANY real class, he would have gone to George’s table, apologized for the annoyance, and insisted on paying for the meal.  Good feelings all around, then George and Fabio end up doing a buddy-movie to the joy of their fans.

  33. Susan Cody says:

    Is it kismet that yesterday I ran across my personally autographed 1993 FABIO calendar?

    I’m on my way to eBay right now!

  34. SonicLe says:

    Faaabioooooo!!! 

    George Clooney can try, but I bet he gets his diva-ass smacked down by our margarine-luvin’ guy Fabio.

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