Caption This Cover: Carpet Edition

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by SB Sarah | November 29, 2011 | Tuesday at 3:02 am | 166 Comments

Jan Oda sent me this cover, and all the possible jokes ran to the front of my brain and pushed each other like the doors just opened at Target and everything was 65% off.I'm not sure if there's been a better candidate for "Caption That Cover" - well, of course there have, but not this week!

I mean, from jokes about munching carpet to whether the rug matches the drapes to what REALLY goes on in NJ, there's no shortage (heh) of opportunities here. So here we go! It's Caption That Cover time!

Leave your caption in the comments, and I'll pick the best one. The champion captioner will win a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of his or her choosing.

Standard disclaimers apply. I'm not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to those 18 years of age and older. Slippery When Wet. You Give Love a Bad Name. Janie, Don't Take Your Love to Town. We Gotta Get out of This Place.

You've got 24 hours - and feel free to use that "like" button to signal which comments you think ought to win.

Ready, set, caption that giant rug!

Filed: Caption This Cover, Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition), General Bitching

Tagged: wtfery, mighty wang, make the burning stop, ellora's cave, cover snark, caption that cover

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When a regular-sized bath towel just isn't big enough...
Posted by Crysta Swarts on 2011-11-30 14:09:02 Marvin couldn't quite figure out why the Naturalist Garden Club was having such a hard time giving away its extra zucchinis.
Posted by Geekamicus on 2011-11-30 13:49:18 She said no speedos, she didn't say anything about camouflage banana hammocks.
Posted by D Cross on 2011-11-30 13:43:52 Whoa, mama told me I might get some hair on my palm, but this is ridiculous.
Posted by mwildfire on 2011-11-30 13:13:11 Funny. I was under the impression that his you-know-what was the piece of unwrapped pork tenderloin.
Posted by Ashley on 2011-11-30 12:35:41 Soon after Nick made it as a Greek billionaire he knew jerking off into cheap paper towels would no longer suffice.
Posted by Ashley Leann on 2011-11-30 12:02:29 No, Tom your carpet is not magic and it does not make you invisible.
Posted by maureen on 2011-11-30 11:27:44 C'mon, man, this pork loin is heavier than it looks.
Posted by Darlynne on 2011-11-30 10:58:55 I didn't start without you...I swear...
Posted by Peaches 749 on 2011-11-30 10:38:59 To all those fellas with ladies to impress
It's easy to do, just follow these steps:
Go get a scarf
Put your junk in that scarf
Make her move that scarf
And that's the way you do it!
It's my dick in a scarf! (Oooh!)

(You could assume I've been emphatically not studying by watching the Lonely Island videos. You'd be right.)
Posted by Nuha Mulk on 2011-11-30 10:28:45 Tinkler, Tailer, Soldier, Spy
Posted by Jan O'Hara|Tartitude on 2011-11-30 10:12:33 Don misunderstood the sexy lab tech when she asked for a sample of his genetic material.

Posted by Jan O'Hara|Tartitude on 2011-11-30 10:10:58 "Come here, baby. I'm gonna warp your weft."

Posted by Jan O'Hara|Tartitude on 2011-11-30 10:09:02 Modesty becomes him.
Posted by Cate Morgan on 2011-11-30 10:07:04 I think being married for so long warped my brain. My first thought:

"Wow is she going to get pissed when she sees Mr. 'But I Couldn't Find a Towel'."
Posted by Lara Amber on 2011-11-30 10:04:43 "Gee, Maria, thanks for the embroidered Penis cover!"
Posted by LadyRhian on 2011-11-30 10:00:19 His partner insists on protection...his latex allergy requires carpet...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
He's gonna tapestry that ass...watch out for rug burn!
Posted by Sabrinad1977 on 2011-11-30 09:50:16 "Pay no attention to the ham behind the curtain..."
Posted by Jessica Banks on 2011-11-30 09:48:10 Somewhere beneath Paris a thousand Gobelins tapestry weavers are rolling in their graves.
Posted by Hjsilversonic on 2011-11-30 09:44:39 Does this make me look fat?
Posted by Joan on 2011-11-30 09:23:13 "Now...blow!"
Posted by tortietabbie on 2011-11-30 09:21:41 "Carpet is made with orginal ManMade fibers to give you that extra pile you have always wanted"
Posted by Kathleen O'Donnell on 2011-11-30 09:16:54 A novel so hot it leaves Rug burns on more than just your knees
Posted by Jamtoast on 2011-11-30 09:07:09 "Why is Reggie so upset? He told me to lay the carpet!"
Posted by Andieg on 2011-11-30 09:06:01 Is that a rug beater under there or are you just happy to see me?
Posted by aimee on 2011-11-30 09:00:58 They say that for erections lasting more than four hours you should head to the ER, not attempt a magic carpet ride.
Posted by VandyJ on 2011-11-30 08:47:34 Drapery Recycling: Scarlett O'Hara and Sister Maria were amateurs.
Posted by snarkhunter on 2011-11-30 08:15:39 "I got your magic carpet ride right here, baby"
Posted by MeghanMcC on 2011-11-30 08:10:15 1) cut a hole in a rug
2) put your junk in that rug
3) make her open that rug
and that's the way you do it
Posted by Maggie on 2011-11-30 08:03:07 A man is judged by the cut of his cloth, not the size of his jib.

marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
Posted by Marypres on 2011-11-30 07:40:17 Now what will we do with all that static electricity?? :-)
Posted by Judy on 2011-11-30 07:39:31 Too Easy.

(Yeah, that's my entry. So to speak)
Posted by Sarah W on 2011-11-30 07:22:43 Wild, wet ... and woolly!
Posted by tin cc-ong on 2011-11-30 07:00:45 Gives an entirely new meaning to "Rug Burn."
Posted by Lindz on 2011-11-30 06:41:15 "How 'bout a haunch of Persian meat, baby?"
Posted by pa1822 on 2011-11-30 05:56:45 He thought he'd try a hot new brand - 'Woven for her pleasure'
Posted by dusty on 2011-11-30 05:50:31 Choosing the fabric for his new codpiece was not easy... would it be soft and cozy, or turn out to be rough and chafe?
Posted by DivineKittyCat on 2011-11-30 05:47:05 Yes. Absolutely.
Posted by Frauke on 2011-11-30 04:28:52 my carpet burneth for you, m'lady.
Posted by Allison on 2011-11-30 03:48:46 I'm wiping off the wine bottle. You ready to pop this cork?
Posted by Alusandrea on 2011-11-30 02:19:27 More surprises from the orange box! (so say Hermes).
Posted by Bookwormbabe on 2011-11-30 02:11:18 "What He Holds in His Hands"
She thought he came to clean the carpet, but it was the other way around.
Posted by Emily on 2011-11-30 01:41:41 Woven Dreamy Tapestries: A novel about experimentation with alternative condom materials.
Posted by Staplegun on 2011-11-30 01:29:24 The misunderstanding that resulted when he told his new girlfriend he liked carpet munchers was resolved when he took off his pants.
Posted by Tina S on 2011-11-30 01:26:52 After seeing Wanda thoroughly Hoover the rug, Chuck had an idea.
Posted by kathleen on 2011-11-30 01:20:01 And so HE said he was "making a new path for the Roomba."
Posted by Apey on 2011-11-30 01:05:30 Courtesy of the hubby: The Burger King always keeps his Whopper wrapped.
Posted by Shelisa on 2011-11-29 23:37:22 Mr. Mighty never needs an excuse to encase his wong in something soft, vibrant and capable of absorbing excess fluids.
Posted by Zara on 2011-11-29 23:23:20 The Genie had granted him three wishes for polishing Aladdin's lamp with a magic carpet; now, he just needed wait for second skin from the pharmacy to be delivered.
Posted by DStom on 2011-11-29 23:22:37 No snazzy comments from me -- though the cover and then the comments had me laughing out loud. My only thought: as if the guy in the front isn't bad enough, what the heck is going on with the guy in the back? Is he checking out his package? Does he have carpet envy?
Posted by Terrie on 2011-11-29 23:15:23 See this rug? I wove it with my own hair...and not from my head!
Posted by Ezreader on 2011-11-29 23:11:37 Oh my. Has anyone else noticed the other naked dude in the background? Or is that just a mirror? Because that makes this a party cover.
Posted by SnarkInfestedWaters on 2011-11-29 22:41:51 Forever lazy? Ha! More like, forever dreamy.
Posted by Christina on 2011-11-29 22:40:43 Just let go of the damn carpet. Please let me see you.
Posted by Gloriamarie on 2011-11-29 22:02:26 I thought it looked like an enormous, pulsating penis. That he had to hold up. Did anyone else see this??
Posted by Elizabeth on 2011-11-29 21:58:15 Dear Santa...
Posted by Antje on 2011-11-29 21:28:39 "When she asked him to air the carpet by smacking it, this isn't what she had in mind..."
Posted by MarieC on 2011-11-29 21:23:45 That is what I saw too! I was going to make a "yet another yankee misunderstood what stuffed mirliton really is" but...alas, it's just a rug. alligator would have made this ulitmate caption of all time!
Posted by Lily White LeFevre on 2011-11-29 21:00:10 How about you rub this magic lamp and we can see what pops up?
Posted by bookluvr4life on 2011-11-29 20:48:56 "Cover me, I'm going in."
Posted by Kelly S. Bishop on 2011-11-29 20:34:42 Hey, look what I found..a BARE skin rug!

OK, I know that was bad...but I didn't see anyone else go there yet... :)

Posted by Prauccio on 2011-11-29 20:23:13 This has to be among the top contenders. You cracked me up!
Posted by MissB2U on 2011-11-29 20:18:19 I'll second that Darlene! You all rock!
Posted by MissB2U on 2011-11-29 20:16:28 Hey, honey, want a piece of my Turkish delight?
Posted by PamG on 2011-11-29 20:14:09 Yes and well larded too!
Posted by Pam G on 2011-11-29 20:00:01 I love a well-played Big Lebowski reference!
Posted by Lily on 2011-11-29 19:43:06 What's up with the OTHER naked dude in the background?? And are they in a bathhouse or what? Male harem? I don't see a tapestry by the second man, but his hand would suggest he likes what he sees across the room!
Posted by Jenyfer on 2011-11-29 19:28:33 He was so hard, you could wash a rug on him.
Posted by Arloa on 2011-11-29 19:21:29 Can I just add that this is one of the best "Caption the Cover" events ever? Thank you, bitchery, for keeping it real and awesome!
Posted by Darlene Marshall on 2011-11-29 19:19:14 OMG so glad I got home from work before reading these comments.

1) Come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride.

And has their art director been reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Because obviously someone has found another use for their towel. With that in mind...

2) Mostly Harmless...wasn't quite truth in advertising.
Posted by Sheila on 2011-11-29 19:17:10 I knew I'd seen this before!
http://smartbitchestrashybooks...
What can I say, I have a strong visual memory. And that is a strong visual memory...
Posted by Tweedy Tattersall on 2011-11-29 19:15:32 Woot! Points for Lebowski reference!
Posted by Darlene Marshall on 2011-11-29 19:09:35 "Steel wrapped in woven silk, he invited her to walk on him"
Posted by emkw on 2011-11-29 19:05:39 Rick thought Ada would be be touched to receive his lucky bowling pin as a gift, but let's just say the unwrapping was...disappointing.
Posted by kathleen on 2011-11-29 18:57:36 "Dirk, I know we're out of condoms, but I'm not that desperate!"
Posted by gail on 2011-11-29 18:55:49 First there was the Snuggie. Then came the Forever Lazy. But was the world ready for something higher in...I mean higher end?
Posted by Booklight on 2011-11-29 18:55:03 I bet when his G.F./wife gets home and sees the strange & large wet spot on the livingroom rug he blames it on the dog.
Posted by Underwater Attack Cat on 2011-11-29 18:45:34 Pay no attention to that manmeat behind the curtain!!
Posted by Melissandre on 2011-11-29 18:42:24 As a realtor, Nathan James was prepared to please his client...whether she wanted carpet or hardwood.
Posted by quidling on 2011-11-29 18:39:43 "Darling, I thought we had discussed testing the no residue cleaner a bit differently..."
Posted by chelsea on 2011-11-29 18:35:44 On the byways and bridges of glorious Venice roamed the dreaded headless zombie weavers, luring the unwary with their siren call of "Rugs on a stick.... Get yer fresh rugs on a stick!"

That's my caption, but I gotta admit the first thing I thought of when I saw that cover was: "Is that a piece of MEAT?!?" (And, why is the butcher naked?)
Posted by PamG on 2011-11-29 18:20:43 I don't know if you'd want to save that one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
Posted by Joanne on 2011-11-29 17:53:07 Ah, I had forgotten about that old comic book until you reminded me.
Posted by L. Sumrall on 2011-11-29 17:52:20 Woven Dreams Tapestries: No decor or theme too creepy for our expert carpet and wood handlers. Put yourself in our capable hands and call now. Operators are standing by.

Seriously, I kept thinking the whatever-it-is was a naked, upside down, tattooed torso with most of the flesh and skin missing. Ye gods.
Posted by Darlynne on 2011-11-29 17:32:43 I really don't think that will help remove the stain.....
Posted by Raine on 2011-11-29 17:15:14 I have the wierdest boner right now...
Posted by Katie Topping on 2011-11-29 17:10:49 Marcus was renowned the world over for his beautiful hand reproduction of Medieval tapestries. Many coveted his secrets and begged for apprenticeship, but Marcus would only say that his secret lay in the way he loved every single tapestry.
Posted by MaddBookish on 2011-11-29 17:08:59 OMG! the person who chose the cover was really really drunk at the time. He seems to be petting the rug or something else? mmm....... ROFL
Posted by Clau on 2011-11-29 17:08:58 That rug really pulled the room together.
Posted by Maria Litsas on 2011-11-29 16:57:59 I thought it was a tortoise or something reptilian as well.
Posted by MaddBookish on 2011-11-29 16:55:12 So pretty! I really must stop buying my towel racks at IKEA.
Posted by AuntieKristin on 2011-11-29 16:49:41 You see an alligator, I saw the disembodied limbs of a tattooed woman.
Posted by Anony Miss on 2011-11-29 16:47:20 "I said I wanted a shag rug, not a shagged rug!"
Posted by everstar on 2011-11-29 16:24:34 What he had done to the carpet redefined the term "doggie style."
or
Kitten finally found the purr-fect scratching post.
Posted by Emily on 2011-11-29 16:17:55 I hooted so loud at this one, it scared the cats!
Posted by Jody Wallace on 2011-11-29 16:14:31 I wonder if I could try this folding technique on those damned fitted sheets?
Posted by Jody Wallace on 2011-11-29 16:10:15 I was trying to come up with something about the Bayeux Tapestry and unicorns but the joke potential is too high for my meager talents!
Posted by Olivia Waite on 2011-11-29 15:59:00 6'3'', 185 lbs, 14 inches, 1000 thread count.
Posted by Olivia Waite on 2011-11-29 15:54:59 I'll take a yard. Oh, and I'll have some of the fabric, too.
Posted by Jennifer Armintrout on 2011-11-29 15:53:03 "Crewel Passion"
For most of his life, Harold thought his luxurious, multicolored pubic hair was something to be ashamed of. Certainly it had stunted his love life, as he allowed no woman to see his disfigurement. Finally, he could stand it no more - he went in search of a prostitute to slake his thirsts, damn the consequences! Who could have known she was also a knitter of extraordinary talent?...
Posted by Deb G. on 2011-11-29 15:44:52 "I know a tapestry paper towel is a bit much, but we're hoping to compete with Quilted Northern."
Posted by Emily on 2011-11-29 15:42:07 He realized too late that the lady of the tapestry wasn't interested in him, that was just a moth hole.
Posted by Gayle Lord on 2011-11-29 15:38:44 "Wow! That's totally not what I expected. When you said you were wearing a rug, I was picturing a toupee."
Posted by Emily on 2011-11-29 15:32:49 With a groan, Biff stared at the boy he'd been dreaming about since that crazy game of touch football senior year. "I said Turkish baths, Rafe, not Turkish rugs!"
Posted by Jocelynnesimone on 2011-11-29 15:20:05 Lay down the tapestry and get laid! Sheer genius!
Posted by TinaDee on 2011-11-29 14:45:53 Forget tapestry...tap this!
Posted by delphia2000 on 2011-11-29 14:40:57 "When I told you to mount the tapestry... this isn't what I meant."

"It's a well hung tapestry."
Posted by StarOpal on 2011-11-29 14:38:37 At Randy's Rug Emporium, we're all about the warp!
Posted by Marnie on 2011-11-29 14:32:04 Roll back the rug
Pile driver
May I warp your weft?
Yes, Madam; this is top quality shag...
Posted by Philippa on 2011-11-29 14:28:57 You can leave you rug on...

(Apologies to Randy Newman)
Posted by Rij on 2011-11-29 14:27:57 Okay, one more (and it's all Maya's fault--see comment 29)

It's 42 and a towel, not 8 and a rug
Posted by azteclady on 2011-11-29 14:24:13 Uh, maybe it's my crappy screen, but what I see is ... a nekkid man playing air guitar with a tattooed alligator.
Posted by P. Kirby on 2011-11-29 13:45:47 I ALWAYS wear fruit of the loom.
Posted by Toddson on 2011-11-29 13:44:42 Mom was getting increasingly suspicious of all the dirty socks....
Posted by It'sbiggerontheinside on 2011-11-29 13:35:24 How do you tie the damn kilt on?!

or

After being injured during a terrible misunderstanding with his tattoo artist, Byron liked to drape himself with matching scarves waiting for the right man to uncover the root of his problems.

Posted by henofthewoods on 2011-11-29 13:32:29 After Cleopatra smuggled herself into his palace rolled in a carpet, Antony wanted to return the favor. Unfortunately the rug he chose wasn't quite large enough...
Posted by ECSpurlock on 2011-11-29 13:31:46 From a distance it looked a lot like this cane my husband got a few years back:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Cane-m...

Posted by Lovecow2000 on 2011-11-29 13:17:56 I think Beau Brummel would recommend a Mathematical or Waterfall.
Posted by Lovecow2000 on 2011-11-29 13:16:02 After unintentionally weaving his pubic hair into the carpet, Lloyd decided that weaving in the buff was a bad idea.

/aside: what is the dude doing in the shadows up there?
Posted by Lovecow2000 on 2011-11-29 13:14:38 hmmm..... As a hobby weaver, I've all sorts of ideas that only I would find funny. Also, wouldn't using that carpet to clean up after sex be a bit scratchy?
Posted by Lovecow2000 on 2011-11-29 13:10:11 "Since you've come home early, now you know the real reason why my favorite album is "Tapestry" by Carole King"
Posted by Jennifer on 2011-11-29 13:09:55 "When an ordinary gym sock won't do..."
Posted by Lily on 2011-11-29 13:00:39 From Steppenwolf,

Well, you don't know what
We can find
Why don't you come with me little girl
On a magic carpet ride
Posted by Kim in Hawaii on 2011-11-29 12:49:58 wait what do you mean "self adhesive"?
Posted by Laursfey on 2011-11-29 12:47:43 No caption here but oddly this is the second cover I've seen this week from EC where there's been some sort of phallus-like object very near to the cover models crotch area. And both are HUGE.

Here's the link to the second, and I kid you not, it's an honest to goodness log. Yes, I giggled when I typed that.

http://www.jasminejade.com/p-9...
Posted by Jenny Lyn on 2011-11-29 12:46:07 "Dude, why are you wiping off your spooge with my PRICELESS TWELFTH CENTURY TAPESTRY?!"
Posted by Darcy on 2011-11-29 12:41:07 There, I knew my woobie would keep it nice and warm...
Posted by Prauccio on 2011-11-29 12:34:38 Gives binky a whole new meaning...
Posted by Helen on 2011-11-29 12:11:39 The delicate pattern, rich colors and plush woven wool. Maximus held the beginnings of this new fetish in his warm hands and waited patiently for Cyrus to exit from the shower.
Posted by MissFifi on 2011-11-29 12:06:28 Is that silk or a dead animal? >.< My first thought was, "Why would they put a dead animal on the cover?"
Posted by CK on 2011-11-29 12:04:52 The best bottle of wine you'll ever sip from...
Posted by Therinia on 2011-11-29 11:43:44 Never has "does the carpet match the drapes?" had a more complicated answer.
Posted by Jennifer on 2011-11-29 11:27:16 Can there be any caption other than:

"I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways, and under
On a magic carpet ride.

A whole new world!!!!!"
Posted by Sarah S on 2011-11-29 11:23:30 Hurry! Jump on my magic carpet and ride! "You have to get out of here, your vagina is haunted!"
Posted by MissB2U on 2011-11-29 11:01:16 OMG...I can't stop laughing. Which is really bad here at work because people will want to know about the noises coming out of my office. And we have visitors.
Posted by R.Savage on 2011-11-29 10:57:46 Forget walls--if rugs could talk...

-----------------------------------------

No, Pete, the carpet is not "wash and wear."

-----------------------------------------

Posted by azteclady on 2011-11-29 10:44:18 Don't try to save money by installing your own carpet. Hire Expert Layers: Getting the rug burn so you don't have to since 1990.
Posted by Appomattoxco on 2011-11-29 10:34:09 Never go anywhere without your towel.
Posted by Maya on 2011-11-29 10:05:00 OMG, Toni! I totally thought it was an alligator too...
Posted by Laura (in PA) on 2011-11-29 10:01:29 Craig liked to do embroidery in a different manner.
Posted by Ladyof Lostshadows on 2011-11-29 09:58:16 Sarah V. based on the other man in the back ground I think that should go something like...

Oh, hello Mr. Smith, you're son and I were just practicing our Greco-Roman wrestling.

(Also, no matter how many times I look at it, I still see a bloody wolf skin and that just brings up some hygiene issues)
Posted by morwen on 2011-11-29 09:47:46 No ordinary boxers or briefs were fit to enrobe his Mighty Wang.
Posted by JosieM on 2011-11-29 09:42:58 Carpeted for her pleasure...
Posted by JennyB on 2011-11-29 09:35:07 Uhhh, Good evening Mrs. Smith... you're daughter and I were just studying, uhh, anatomy.
Posted by Sarah V. on 2011-11-29 09:31:40 Darling... I'm unveiling the manscaping you requested...
Posted by Honey on 2011-11-29 09:27:44 If you want to be well laid, carry a carpet!
Posted by Jane Lovering on 2011-11-29 09:25:30 I can't tell jokes for beans, but I just wanted to say the minute I saw that picture, I gasped out loud. O___O Looked like he was holding a piece of unwrapped pork tenderloin in front of his you-know-what.
Posted by Fiona Shin on 2011-11-29 09:20:31 Wangs-R-Us might have sent Lance the wrong size, but he sure liked the wrapping.
Posted by LeslieB on 2011-11-29 09:15:21 How to wrap the perfect gift? Windsor Knot? Four In Hand? Nevermind, I'll just tie it in a bow.
Posted by Patty H. on 2011-11-29 09:12:39 I don't have a sassy caption - I just wanted to say that, at first glance, it looked like he was wrestling an alligator....or making sweet, sweet love to one.
Posted by Toni B on 2011-11-29 09:05:38 Not even a sassy scarf could camouflage his problem, no matter how many ways he tied it.
Posted by Randy on 2011-11-29 09:00:29 (While leering) "Hey, baby; my magic carpet can take you more places than Aladdin... hop on & I'll take you for a ride!"
Posted by JenniferP on 2011-11-29 08:58:35 It's going to be hard to beat Kaetrin. All I've got is, "That gives new meaning to rug burn."
Posted by Darlene Marshall on 2011-11-29 08:46:05 Ann Somerville's Linus comment! (5th comment) I love it. I'm not even going to try to make up my own after that.
Posted by Carin on 2011-11-29 08:33:06 not even the invisibility cloak could hide his err...excitement
Posted by megsan on 2011-11-29 08:09:02 (With thanks to the World Floor Covering Association)

Warrior Cut Pile proved his versatility with his well-defined tuft tip until a plush Saxony Princess walked all over him. Now his honor is as stained as a cheap rug. Will Cut rise again, or be crushed forever beneath the princess's dainty booted foot?

Posted by Maggie Robinson/Margaret Rowe on 2011-11-29 07:13:10 Cold winter nights causing shrinkage? Worry no more!

New from the makers of the Snuggie comes the Woodie.

Protect your package with the all new Woodie and the disparaging gossip will be a thing of the past.

Your special someone won't be able to resist you when you:

"Keep it warm with a Woodie!!"
Posted by Kaetrin on 2011-11-29 07:08:57 "Is that a cannon in your carpet or are you just happy to see me?"
Posted by Dede on 2011-11-29 07:02:12 I'm gonna kill that damn George, him and his damn superglue!
Posted by Carolyn on 2011-11-29 06:56:13 He's the ideal member for your male harem, and he can cut a rug, too.
Posted by Faellie on 2011-11-29 06:41:40 Giving hand-weave a whole new meaning.
Posted by Milena Benini on 2011-11-29 06:21:57 Linus grew up into a fine figure of a man, but he never did manage to get rid of his blanket.
Posted by Ann Somerville on 2011-11-29 06:20:16 Never mind the quality, feel the length!
Posted by Ann Somerville on 2011-11-29 06:18:17 Six months after opening shop, Brenden's nude interior decorating business was really looking up...
Posted by Reneesance on 2011-11-29 06:02:19 " Making a willy warmer is much harder than it looks " thought Cyril ......
Posted by nurcat on 2011-11-29 05:58:19 "Ashamed of the size of your dick?"
"Yes."
"Your wife or girlfriend wont' sleep with you?"
"Yes."
"Then have no fear! Enlarge towel is here to save your day!"
"Thank you!"
"For a price of 99 dollars, the Enlarge towel will turn your wimpy dick into a dick of strength. Limited offer."

(This is my first time doing something like this; please go easy on me.)

Posted by Aurora on 2011-11-29 05:49:30

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Caption This Cover: Carpet Edition