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You had me at Dear Bitches, Jarah and Jandy! Then the wereducks and elephant vampires got the rest of me.
gone34
I believed the EC article could be true, too! Hey, if you can have a were-tree (someone on one of the loops said that)- why NOT a were-duck?????
Too too funny! Thanks for the much needed laugh!
Would vampire elephants have their fangs in their mouths, or – at the front of their trunks? I guess that wouldn’t be anatomically correct, but, oh, the possibilities!!!!
Word verification stood36 – the vampire elephant stood too close to me for comfort…
Ladies,
I had a moment of supreme panic (until I remembered the date!), then my naughty bits practically burst into flames at the idea of Vischous and Butch finally consummating their man-love (you’re such teases!). And, finally, I laughed myself silly over Phido.
Y’all are the bestest! And don’t think I won’t forward that letter to JR Ward for a future book idea, true.
Oh – and were-ducks as “sexy fowl beasts”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *wipes eyes*
I was raised to appreciate a good pun, so ladies, BRAVO!
[eyes wide in alarm] “Were-duck?!”
[pointing into forest] “There duck.”
[pointing forward of cart] “There castle.”
“Why are you talking like that?”
[uneven shrug] “Thought you wanted to.”
That should SO come with a spew alert.
Aw…I was looking forward to ‘Year of the Penguin’!
1:30am, feeding the 4mo old to sleep, while checking the Bitchery….
My shaking, while trying to stop myself from doing some form of a yelping cackle, woke her back up.
Were-Ducks and Vampire Elephants-Fucking brilliant!!!
Count me in as somebody who TOTALLY BOUGHT that Ellora’s Cave would put out were-duck erotica. The obligatory crappy cover art alone would be something to behold.
Titles for new line of Were-Duck romances:
Fowl Play
Personal Fowl
Situation Normal, All Fowled Up
April Fowl’s Day
Just Ducky
The Private Duck
Artemis Fowl’s Younger Brother
Okay, I’m stopping here. I seem to be on a Gene Wilder kick, today.
taken62—must-resist-pun-impulse
*snort*
Love the JR WARD review. That’s a book I might be willing to read . . .
Reforming a Drake
Once a Drake
Never Romance a Drake
The Perfect Drake
The Dutiful Drake
Drakes and Rogues
This Drake of Mine
Notorious Drake, Innocent Lady
The Drake’s Revenge
Mallardy and the Drake
Mallardy in Love
In Mallardy’s Chambers
Mallardy’s Revenge
Too funny. Wouldn’t elephants work out better though? Just saying
Absolutely fabulous! Had me in stitches! Thanks for a great laugh, ladies! 🙂
LOL Miri – actualy I keep hearing Ducktales (Woo Hoo). Holy Hannah Montana, I am never going to be able to look at ducks the same way.
Thanks Bitches – you guys rock so hard you should have umlauts.
OMG I LOVE you guys.
Srsly.
I LOVE that version ^^. It’s so spot on. Your two blogs are the only romance blogs I read regularly. Actually I just came from them and was thinking I had hit the wrong bookmark *hearts*
Ah.
Mah.
Gah.
Totally fished in. For at least 30 seconds.
(until I saw the eyeglasses)
Too funny. Wouldn’t elephants work out better though? Just saying
Ask, and lookit what happens –
Synopsis for My Lady’s Rogue:
New to London, Mr Oliphant quickly became the Explorers Club’s latest gossip fodder. It was reputed that his memory [and his member] were as long as his trunk. And his trunk was proof-enough that Mr Olipant were a well-travelled gent, indeed.
And Mr Oliphant was a rogue at heart who loved having his ivories tickled.
But there was a mysterious attempt on his life. Would he discover the plotter’s identity in time – and find true love along the way [or at least deflower her] – to prevent himself from becoming the newest resident of the Oliphant’s graveyard?
hell76 – yer joshin’ me, right?
Perhaps this trend will carry into other lines? From Harlequin:
The Drake Tycoon and His Mistress
Marrying the Mallard
The Pachyderm’s Promise
The Desert Elephant’s Baby
spam blocker: high 12 – but I could only think of 4
Where do Italian vampire elephants unlive?
Tuskany
[and can you imagine the size of the coffin for the required dirt-naps]
Where do vampire elephants go for dental repair?
Tuskaloosa
[probably would have to pay through the nose for those costs; and what would a grill look like on a vampire elephant, any way?]
stage92 – at this stage it’s too late for me,… save yourselves, run away, run away, ah-hhhhhh, scream, scream, run away
It is so hard keeping a straight face here at work after reading the April Fool’s day page. Snort, that was soo hilarious.
Hysterical!!!
The main thing that propelled me out of bed this morning was to see what you ladies had done to the site this year.
🙂
… corkscrew … OMG …
saw22: my eyes! my eyes!
I can’t wait for Phugeddaboutit’s book!
Bitches, we forgot those She-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless-But-Her-Initials -Are-CE classics –
Savage Tusks
Savage Trunk
Savage Mallard
Running Drake
Thunder Duck
Were-duck.
Three days ago someone linked me to an article referred to in the Annals of Improbable Research magazine on homosexual necrophilia in the duck.
They’re stalking me, I swear.
The scary thing is that I actually might have bought the BDB spoof if it hadn’t been preceded by the were-duck piece.
Thanks for the laugh and Happy April Fools Day!
“Collections of Rather Fowl Poetry”,
by the Dead Duck Society.
Dammit, dammit, dammit. I’m not gonna get any real work done today, am I?
Eeeeeeebol… and oh my gawd so funny!
“It was a duck and stormy night. Suddenly a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed.
Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!
While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was
growing up.”
Mr Oliphant, the Duck of Earl, closed the novel with no small amount of disgust that anyone would allow a were-beagle access to a typewriter.
OK, kids: archived the fake front page in its own April Fools Folder. Glad y’all found it amusing. These things are a blast to work on. I think my favorite part was coming up with related post titles for the main entries. (I’m shocked nobody asked me about the anatomically correct animal penis dildoes. SHOCKED, I tell you.)
Here are our previous years, if you didn’t experience them yourselves:
2005
2006
2007
(I’m shocked nobody asked me about the anatomically correct animal penis dildoes. SHOCKED, I tell you.)
Candy, there’s no need to ask – my brain has already been scarred on a previous occasion. (For the curious, though, you can follow this seriously NSFW link: anatomically correct animal penis dildoes. I take no responsibility for those who click.)
On a happier note, I love the were-duck titles. Hilarious!
OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!! Danielle…that’s just… *scrubs eyes*
What does it say about me that the thing I found most disturbing was the :)s, typos, and misspellings?
you and April fools are the best combination since …. ever, ever.
if i’d had that animal dildo link this morning i coulda used that for an april fools link with my prayer/ bible reading group!
(if i belonged to such a thing LOL
be worth joining one just to pass that link along and watch satan giggle.)
OMG! I remembered it is April Fool’s Day (it is my sister’s birthday so I actually always remember) and I was reading along, giggling at the joke but maintaining my composure. I almost made it through to the end but for some reason I just didn’t see “Phido” coming and THAT is what made me shoot tea through my nose. Ouch.
Crap. Just the day that my computer decides to purge itself of all my links. I had one that, no joke, was titled ‘homosexual necrophiliac duck rape’. The article it lead to was a somewhat dry scientific writeup on, er, pretty much what you think it’s about. It even won a Ig-Noble a few years back.