619. RT Rewind: September 2002 Reviews

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Sarah Wendell: Hello and welcome to episode number 619 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell, Amanda is with me, and it’s time to go back in time to September 2002. We asked our Patreon community to vote on this month’s issue, and September 2002 won by a wide margin, so we’re starting with the book reviews! There are strange subcategories and overlapping genres and color-conscious aliens, which cannot be a good thing. Plus we talk about one of the best lines that Avon ever produced. Do not miss the visual aids, because the covers are something.

You can find the visual aids through the link in the show notes in the little tiny file that you are listening to in your podcast player, or go to smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast and look for episode 619.

Hello and, as always, big, big thank-you, huge, massive, enormous thank-you to the Patreon community. The Patreon community makes episodes like this possible. They help make sure that every episode, including ones like this, have a transcript – hey, garlicknitter! – [hey, Sarah!] – and they keep us going! Plus, if you join the Patreon you get full PDF scans of every Romantic Times issue, and some of these are not available online, so that’s kind of a fun time travel, time capsule, both to go through. Plus you get bonus episodes and a truly lovely Discord. If you are interested, have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches. We would love to have you.

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Are you ready to go back to September 2002? Let’s do this – on with the podcast.

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Sarah: So the September 2002 issue was voted on by the Patreon. The headline is Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and the Female Fascination, because clearly we like alliteration here. We’ll talk about the cover more in the ads and features, but this cover is very clip art, and it’s like, Here are some books and Dara Joy with an armpit pose. Whoo!

Amanda: Yeah. And this is not the Patreon community’s fault, because we were –

Sarah: Nooo!

Amanda: – we were not very excited –

Sarah: Absolutely not! The cover –

Amanda: – about this one.

Sarah: Yeah, I’m sorry to report we are not boring, but this issue is not so exciting.

Amanda: This issue is a snoozefest. This issue is so boring, everybody.

Sarah: Sorry!

Amanda: So sorry.

Sarah: Maybe we should do an edible –

Amanda: I felt –

Sarah: – as we’re recording –

[Laughter]

Sarah: – so it gets sillier and sillier.

So the first review section, as always, is Historical Romance, and I was really excited to see a particular subgenre that doesn’t exist anymore that I wish would come back? I think there’s some writers that would do really good books in this subgenre? Page 47 of the magazine, we have Catherine and the Pirate by Karen Hawkins, who also wrote a bunch of historical romances. This is a Young Adult, and it is from the Avon True Romance line. Now, the Avon True Romance line was an, a line of YA romances, and I put a little link in the sidebar to some of, to the, to the list of them on Goodreads, and they all have things like, you know, Victoria and the Rogue by Meg Cabot, Amelia and the Outlaw by Lorraine Heath, and Josephine and the Soldier by Beverly Jenkins. There’s also Belle and the Beau by Beverly Jenkins, and if I remember correctly, she has talked on, on social media about how finding a, these are very hard to find, and collectors really want them. These were historical romances written for a YA audience, but by authors like Meg Cabot and Bev Jenkins and Lorraine Heath, which is amazing. I think that it would be really cool if there were a line like this where you had, especially with, with diverse history, YA historical romances. I think that would be so cool. I don’t know if anyone –

Amanda: So there’s –

Sarah: – would be interested in that, but I think it’s really neat that it once existed.

Amanda: There’s something similar like that that’s out now, and it’s the Remixed Classics series?

Sarah: Ohhh yeah!

Amanda: And so it’s retellings of, like, The Great Gatsby –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – and I think Jane Eyre and Little Women and all of these, like, classics, but it’s remixed with, like, diversity in mind?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: And there are some, like, romances in there, but it’s not like strictly historical romance for a younger audience, but it is like historical classics for a younger audience with a focus on diverse storytelling. And they’re pretty good; the covers are gorgeous.

Sarah: I don’t know, I mean, I don’t think these line up, because I think the Avon True Romances were meant for an older young, Young Adult reader? But I know Disney has the Disney Twisted Tales series, which I think is aimed at middle grade, which is actually, as a, as a subgenre, a lot of middle-grade librarians and school librarians and authors have been talking about middle grade being hard to sell and getting hard, very hard to sell to publishers. Disney doing the Twisted Tales is doing very well with those, and Farrah Rochon has written a couple that have become New York Times bestsellers, which is awesome.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: But those are like retellings of, I think Farrah’s was What if Tiana had taken a deal with the Shadow Man in The Princess and the Frog, and what would that have looked like? It’s very cool!

So here’s the review for Catherine and the Pirate:

>> Four stars. Setting: 1700s Boston. Catherine and Royce Markham’s parents died when they were very young. Since Royce is twelve years older than Catherine, he was able to retain custody as Catherine and raise her.

As Catherine and raise her. I imagine that was supposed to be “of”? Or he just took her identity; either way.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: >> Their relationship grew to the point where they were best friends as well as family. When Catherine is told by her uncle that Royce is dead, she doesn’t believe it. She has a gut feeling he is still alive, and she is proven right when a ransom note is sent. Catherine must bring fifty gold pieces to a faraway place to get Royce back. To get her there, she enlists the help of Derrick St. John, Royce’s best friend. He agrees to help her, never expecting to fall in love. Now they must battle the sea, pirates, and their raging feelings.

>> Catherine and the Pirate, written with intelligence, is a wonderful book for teenagers. Catherine is a great role model. She is strong and does not allow anyone, even someone she loves, to tell her what to do. She fights her own battles and refuses to be a damsel in distress. This book is so well written, even adults will enjoy reading it.

Amanda: I want to know how old the love interest is. I’m assuming the love interest is possibly Derrick St. John, who is her brother’s best friend, but –

Sarah: So –

Amanda: – her brother is twelve years older than her?

Sarah: So maybe he’s like ten years older than her, yeah.

Amanda: I’m not an age-gap gal.

Sarah: Not an age-gap kind of girl? This –

Amanda: No.

Sarah: – of all of the books that were in this issue, this was the one where I was like, Oh, I could, I could read that. That sounds kind of cool! So what was your pick?

Amanda: So on page 44 of the magazine –

Sarah: Yes, ma’am.

Amanda: – I picked one of the lower-rated reviews in this section.

Sarah: And I love it when you do that, ‘cause sometimes that’s my choice –

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: – so bring it on!

Amanda: This is Season of Splendor by Liz Madison, published by Zebra. Setting is 19th century London? It looks like it’s also part of a series, ‘cause they list, the previous title is Delighted. I love it when they –

Sarah: Isn’t that so smart?

Amanda: I know! I love that they list previous titles. So the review is:

>> In order to find the man who beat his best friend to death –

Sarah: Ahhh!

Amanda: >> – Devon Blake gets a job as a servant in Lord Kendal Rushmoor, the Earl of Bedington’s home, since Devon believes that it was his eldest daughter Claire who may have seen something that night.

Wow, that is a long sentence.

Sarah: That’s one sentence!

Amanda: That is one whole sentence, everyone, if we’re keeping track.

Sarah: Oof!

Amanda: He needs to get her alone to be able to talk to her, but Claire is very aware of the differences in their stations and tries to keep her distance. Though she is being courted by the Marquess of Westbury, she’s still attracted to Devon, but her class consciousness makes her pull back each time they get closer. When Devon uncovers the killer’s identity, he places his life in jeopardy and is unjustly accused of stealing a family heirloom. Claire realizes how much she loves Devon and vows to find the proof she so desperately needs to free him.

>> Unfortunately, this single-title effort by Miss Madison doesn’t live up to the enchanting short story in the Delighted anthology that was her debut. I found the pacing in Season of Splendor to be sluggish. In fact, the story doesn’t pick up until after chapter fifteen.

Sarah: Oof!

Amanda: >> Claire is snobbish, and I have no idea why Devon falls in love with her. Once the story picked up, though, it moved along and was enjoyable. Miss Madison has the potential to be a fine storyteller. It will be a pleasure to see her really tap into her talent. Sensual!

Sarah: [Laughs] Sensual! Wow.

Amanda: In case you forgot.

Sarah: Okay, so first of all, how much do you want to bet that the first three paragraphs give away most of the book? That was a book report.

Amanda: It’s a lot.

Sarah: That was a book report of a lot of plot deals.

Amanda: It’s a long review compared to some of the other ones.

Sarah: Yeah. But it, in terms of a low-scoring review, it tells you why!

Amanda: Yeah. And I find it interesting, ‘cause I feel like in other editions of the magazine, the reviews don’t often center the reviewer?

Sarah: No.

Amanda: I can’t remember the last time we read one that says like, I felt this way, or I was not blah-blah-blah.

Sarah: Yeah!

Amanda: And so I found it interesting that this one also did that, ‘cause I, I don’t remember most of the reviews that we read using that sort of language.

Sarah: So moving on to Sci-Fi and Fantasy – it’s interesting that you bring up the I, because that’s actually one of my biggest editorial notes when I’m editing for the site is, I need you to put the, not you, I. Not You will find; I found. I want to hear about your experience with the book. You can’t predict someone else’s experience, but I want you to talk about your experience with the book. That is the most valuable and valid way of evaluating your experience having read this book.

Amanda: But it, it’s interesting because in other places that I review for –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – they feel the opposite. They’re like –

Sarah: Yes!

Amanda: – we don’t want an I. But, you know, like, some places don’t – like, I feel like our site is different in that people get a really good opportunity to get to know the reviewers?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: And get to know what the reviewers like, what they don’t like, and can kind of match to a reviewer –

Sarah: Yes.

Amanda: – who likes the same things they do? Whereas some places, they don’t really have bylines, so they don’t really want your personality, ‘cause it doesn’t really matter. But yeah, so, like, sometimes it’s tricky; some places don’t want, like –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – the personal connection to the story? But in any reviewing that you do, I feel like it’s always subjective.

Sarah: Mm-hmm!

Amanda: Like, no review is like the definitive objective statement on a book.

Sarah: And it’s interesting to see something like Kirkus, no bylines. All of these reviews are Kirkus reviews. They are all from an entity known as Kirkus. I imagine Kirkus wears vests and tweed pants; that is my guess.

So moving on to Science Fiction: I picked a one-star review for a book called Evil Seed. This is romantic science fiction.

Amanda: Hate it for us.

Sarah: It’s just a gross name. By C. G. McGovern-Bowen. Okay, strap in: this is a really weird, meandering, strange summary here. All right.

>> Earth’s persona, Gaia, needs help to remove this latest batch of humanity before their negative energy destroys her.

Amanda: Get it.

Sarah: Yeah, right?

Amanda: I understand it.

Sarah: I, I understand. I’m with you.

Amanda: You’re, you’re, you’re harshing the vibe, humans.

Sarah: Yeah, you, you fucking it up. Please, please leave.

>> Eons ago, Rypan, a psychic sexual predator, was drawn to the powerful negative vibes of Gaia’s inhabitants and continually instigates misery and suffering in order to feed. After proto-humans ruined Mars and Venus, they were seeded to Earth to hopefully evolve past their brutal warlike tendencies, but they rarely improved. The legends of Atlantis, Mu, and Lemuria chronicled the rise and fall of earlier civilizations wiped out by Gaia when they became too contaminated by the evil one’s essence. Only a handful of enlightened souls and benevolent aliens will be able to contain Rypan’s evil in order to protect Gaia.

>> Highly recommended to me as a sexy science fiction adventure, I was surprised I could barely finish Evil Seed. The premise of Gaia fighting back against her hopelessly ignoble human infestation was excellent. Higher evolved allies, both human and alien, joining to combat an evil entity should have been intriguing, but unfortunately was stilted and contrived. Ms. McGovern-Bowen’s exhaustive research created a narrative reading more like a combined pedantic history/New Age lesson than entertaining fiction. One star.

Now again, there’s I: I couldn’t finish it; this was boring. I’m digging this review. Like, I, I didn’t love the features in this magazine, but the reviews are very useful! I was into this! What did you pick?

Amanda: So I picked another romantic science fiction on page 52. It’s called EarthRise by William C. Dietz, and four stars.

Sarah: Woo-hoo!

Amanda: I also don’t understand where the romance comes in for romantic science fiction in this one, but who knows?

>> EarthRise is the stunning conclusion to the Sauron invasion begun in DeathDay.

And immediately I’m like, Sauron.

Sarah: Sauron?

Amanda: What is this, Lord of the Rings?

Sarah: Like Eye of?

Amanda: [Laughs] Yeah, like Eye of!

Sarah: Okay!

Amanda: >> The clock is ticking as human slaves complete huge birthing citadels for their captors.

Sarah: Ugh.

Amanda: Yuck.

>> President Alex Franklin and his Security Chief Jack Manning are plotting rebellion with their new alien allies, members of the technically superior Ra’Na race. Pockets of human resistance are slowly consolidating towards Bellingham, Washington, until a renegade human warns the Saurons of the upcoming revolution. Independence Day with a twist –

I’m assuming they’re referring to the sci-fi alien classic Independence Day, the movie –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – [laughs] – with Will Smith and Randy Quaid? Or is it – I think it’s Randy, not Dennis, or maybe it is Dennis Quaid. Who’s the bad one? The bad Quaid is in Independence Day.

>> Independence Day with a twist –

Sarah: Randy Quaid.

Amanda: It’s Randy, yeah.

Sarah: Yeah, it’s Randy Quaid.

Amanda: >> Independence Day with a twist, Mr. Dietz delivers a rousing finale to his apocalyptic vision of Earth’s invasion by color-conscious aliens.

We’ll get back to that.

>> His portrayal of ordinary people fighting for their lives and freedom is a touching tribute to the human spirit, demonstrating that life goes on and love doesn’t die.

What does that mean, color-conscious aliens?

Sarah: I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s anything good.

Amanda: I don’t think it’s a good thing –

Sarah: No. I think it’s not a good thing.

Amanda: – but I want to know what the hell they mean.

Sarah: Well, there’s only one way to find out.

Amanda: I’m not reading it; there’s no way. Sorry, I was looking up what color-conscious aliens mean.

Sarah: I don’t, I, I just did a quick google, and I could not tell you, but it makes my stomach hurt, so I don’t actually want to know. [Laughs]

Amanda: Someone said this – [laughs] – sorry – I’ll read the first paragraph of this review that I saw on Goodreads from Alger Smythe-Hopkins.

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: One star.

>> What the hell was this book?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: >> It’s like Dietz entered in a “Write a Worse Novel than George R. R. Martin Contest” and was like, “Oh yeah, I can do that.”

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: >> This novel is insane, it is sub-pulp, it is Vogon poetry. Obviously there are reasons I object to this terrible book, so let’s try to explain with minimal spoilers. Trust me, none of what follows will ruin anything for you because this book is that unoriginal, but it will be detailed and maybe it will warn you off if you haven’t already read it.”

Sarah: Wow. This sucked, and I hated it.

Amanda: Okay. Here’s where the color-conscious stuff comes in. This person mentions that in the book is, contains the first all-Black presidential team in American history? And someone said there is a, a racial subplot.

Sarah: Oooh! That’s not going to be handled well, I’m willing to bet. Oooh!

Amanda: Yeah. Well, now we know.

Sarah: Well, now we know. A racial subplot with, yeah, okay. So –

Amanda: [Laughs] Moving on. We’re…

Sarah: Moving, moving on! We’re just, nope! We’re just going to leave that there. Ooh, boy.

Next is Mystery, Suspense, and Thrillers, and one of the things that I noted was that they have a category key. So in the big summary there are little brackets with letters, and the categories are Amateur Sleuth, Anthology, Espionage, Hard-Boiled, Historical, Legal Thriller, Medical Thriller, Private Eye, Procedural, Reference – eh? – Suspense, and Traditional. What the hell is re-, a Reference?

Amanda: There are no reference ones reviewed in this…either.

Sarah: In this – I don’t know what Reference means. But that is a very interesting category delineation, and I think you could apply that to a lot of books now, except that you’d need to explain what Traditional means, and you’d need to add Cozy.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: So page 68 was the one that I wanted to talk about. It is called The Body, A Body in the Bath House. This is a historical; it is a series; it is humorous, according to the heading; by Lindsey Davis from Mysterious Press, three stars. Now, I, I pulled this one because you think, Oh, historical, maybe Victorian. Oh no, no, no! No, no. We’re going to ancient Rome.

>> Life is hectic for Marcus Didius Falco, ancient Rome’s Philip Marlowe. While her children run wild, his sister Maia is flirting with the spy Anacrites and avoiding the amorous advances of Petronius. Then there’s his bath house. A horrible stench is coming from it, and the workmen have dis-, disappeared. It turns out there’s a decayed corpse in the bath house, and some think Falco’s father is responsible. There’s also the trouble with the palace being built in Britain and the emperor wants Falco to investigate. At first he’s unwilling – everyone knows how bad the British weather is – but when things heat up with Maia and, and Anacrites, Falco takes the entire family to Britain, where he runs into another murder and the missing workmen!

>> Lindsey Davis presents us with another ancient screwball comedy in A Body in the Bath House. The action is fast and furious, and readers will divide their time between being mystified and laughing out loud. Three stars.

[Laughs] I love the idea of being mystified; like, what the hell is happening?

Amanda: I don’t know if I, that one sold me on that one.

Sarah: That is, I just, I just love historical – ancient Rome – and the weather is bad in Britain, and everyone in Rome knows it! [Laughs]

Amanda: I love that in this, in the Mystery section, there’s always a mystery with a dog? Like, an animal pun?

Sarah: Oh, absolutely! There has to be a dog one.

Amanda: There is one here. I spotted a lot of, like, racially motivated crimes –

Sarah: Yes.

Amanda: – in this section.

Sarah: Yes.

Amanda: It’s just like, Oh boy. But I picked a book called Labyrinth by Mark T. Sullivan on 76. It’s listed as Suspense, Romantic –

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: – and it has four stars.

>> The year is 2007.

[Laughs]

Sarah: Ooh, that five years in the future –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – for this magazine.

Amanda: Yeah!

>> The year 2007 brings the most important caving expedition in US history –

Sarah: Huh?

Amanda: >> – a grueling hundred-and-twenty-five-mile underground trek through Labyrinth Cave to prepare NASA’s astronauts to mine on the moon in an attempt to lessen our reliance on foreign fuel. Renowned caver Tom Burke and his fourteen-year-old daughter Cricket will spearhead the expedition.

Sarah: Nooo!

Amanda: Yes.

Sarah: No!

Amanda: They’re allowing a teenager to spearhead this expedition into a hundred-and-twenty-five-mile underground labyrinth.

Sarah: I can’t, I cannot convey to you to the degree of Nope that is for me.

Amanda: Can you imagine showing up to this expedition and one of, like, the co-leads is a fourteen-year-old girl?

Sarah: Good God. First of all, I wouldn’t show up, ‘cause I’m not doing this. There’s no way.

Amanda: No.

Sarah: Mm-mm.

Amanda: >> They both desperately miss Cricket’s mom Whitney, who’s been traumatized by a tragic accident and vowed never to enter a cave again.

Sarah: Can I just say that seems like sound judgment?

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: >> But now she doesn’t have a choice. A band of vicious criminals have escaped, and they’re headed for Labyrinth, led by a madman searching for a stone that turns metal into gold. When Tom and Cricket are taken hostage –

[Laughter]

Amanda: >> – Whitney must overcome her paralyzing fear and enter the subterranean depths to save them, racing against time and the forces of nature.

Sarah: Again, NO! [Laughs]

Amanda: >> After a slightly slow information-packed start, Labyrinth becomes a studding, a stunning, nail-biting read with as many unexpected twists and turns as the cave itself. All of the characters have depth and complexity, and the Burke family is wonderful! Their love for each other is palpable, and Cricket especially is a smart, strong, yet realistic young heroine.

And that’s it, and I don’t think it’s very realistic that an expedition designed to help prepare NASA astronauts to mine on the moon would be co-led by a fourteen-year-old girl.

Sarah: I mean, think about it: on one hand we have the decreased reliance on foreign fuel, and on the other hand we have –

Amanda: Sure.

Sarah: – fourteen-year-old team leader.

Amanda: What is this, a summer camp?

Sarah: Apparently! Cricket. Cricket, no! Oh my goodness.

Amanda: Boy.

Sarah: Oh boy is, is right.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Now, Mainstream Fiction, we both, we, we have said in previous episodes that we will, like, look at a section; if there’s really nothing, nothing speaking to us we will just pass, and we both passed on this one. There is a category key. This is what’s inside Mainstream Fiction: Contemporary, Chick Lit, Fantasy, Futuristic, Multicultural, Paranormal, Reincarnation, Suspense, Time Travel, and Vampire.

Amanda: Here’s the thing: that, like, oh, this is just Mainstream Fiction –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – but why is Mainstream Fiction Suspense here and not in the, like, Mystery, Thriller? Like, what’s the difference between suspense fiction and suspense label in the Mystery, Suspense, and Thriller category?

Sarah: And suspense mainstream versus, yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know either! It’s really, really weird.

Amanda: Okay! [Laughs]

Sarah: But nothing, nothing really spoke to us. I will say that – [laughs] – as I wrote in the document that we share, Nicholas Sparks’s Nights in Rodanthe got a four and a half star Top Pick, and I was, I saw that and my appetite was gone. I was like, Well, no, not really interested in –

Amanda: We don’t need to be here.

Sarah: We just, we just passed. Like, nothing here really spoke to any of us, and I don’t think any of these books have really – with the exception of Rodanthe – I don’t think any of these books have really stood any kind of endurance test.

Amanda: No. I, like, skimmed the names, and I’m like, I don’t recognize any of these.

Sarah: No. Now, what’s weird is the next section is Mainstream Romance! Again with the category key.

Amanda: That must just be like contemporary.

Sarah: Right? So can you read the category for, the category key for this one, which is alarmingly similar to the Mainstream Fiction? This is very strange delineations here.

Amanda: Yeah. So in Mainstream there’s Contemporary Romance, Erotica, Fantasy Romance – which I don’t know why they wouldn’t put that in Sci-Fi/Fantasy – Futuristic, Ghost, Multicultural, Paranormal – I feel like Ghost and Paranormal, or Ghost is part of Paranormal, but sure – Reincarnation – how often does that happen to where it needs its own designation? – Romantic Adventure, Romantic Suspense!

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: I’m – this is my villain origin story. I’m turning into the Joker over here is what’s happening. Time Travel –

Sarah: Yep.

Amanda: – and Vampire –

Sarah: Sure!

Amanda:  – which is also a subseries or subcategory of Paranormal!

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: What are we doing here?

Sarah: I honestly don’t know. This is so disorganized.

Amanda: And also there’s an Avon True Romance in here!

Sarah: Yeah! But that one’s a contemporary. The Avon True Romance –

Amanda: Oh yeah.

Sarah: – that was before was historical, ‘cause there were some contemporary ones and some historical ones. But there’s also some very well known names in here. There’s JoAnn Ross; J. D. Robb’s Purity in Death is in this issue. A couple of, like, mainstays like Shannon McKenna and Debbie Macomber are in here. Debbie Macomber got three stars, by the way.

And that is actually the book that I chose to talk about. Page 80 is, this is, this is the definition of a lukewarm review. And, and this is the start of this, the, the beginnings of the Cedar Cove series for Debbie Macomber, which turned into a TV series, which turned into a knitting pattern line, and I think she had a – ‘cause I remember she won a lifetime achievement award at RWA, and she thanked her literary agent, her film agent, and her knitting agent. So that was like a whole –

Amanda: Wow, a knitting agent?

Sarah: Yeah – a whole industry built out of this series, but in this particular issue, they gave it three stars. Contemporary romance, 204 Rosewood Lane by Debbie Macomber.

>> When Ms. Macomber’s second installment of her Cedar Cove series kicks off, Grace Sherman’s husband Dan has been missing for six months. He simply disappeared. Different signs point to him leaving her for another woman, and Grace and her two daughters find themselves in various emotional states. Youngest daughter Kelly recently had a baby, and she refuses to believe that her father will not see his first grandchild. The older daughter, Maryellen, is facing the fact that men sometimes leave. Her own past leaves her, leads her to mistrust where men are concerned. To top it all off, a new man has entered Grace’s life, and she is torn between finding her past and moving on with her future.

>> Ms. Macomber has made a niche for herself with her series of small-town stories. Like a literary soap opera, she manages to continue stories in such a way that whether you are visiting Cedar Cove again or coming for the first time, you will find yourselves interested in the lives of the people in this little town.

That is the most lukewarm review. Like, why is it getting three stars? Were you bored? What – this is like, it’s, this is one of those reviews where I’m like, Is this code? Am I meant to, like, am I meant to deconstruct what this means? This tells me nothing. Yep.

Amanda: I mean, no, no shade to Miss Macomber, but her books have never appealed to me, and her book covers give me the same feeling of, like, taking an afternoon nap on a porch. Like, it’s fine and nice and a little cozy, but not very exciting.

Sarah: Mm-hmm. I wonder if there’s a name for that kind of a book, like that kind of a series, ‘cause there’s a lot of series where you’re just going to visit with people. Maybe it’s like visiting series –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – so you’re just going to visit with people for a little while. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s not going to be, it’s not going to be sticky or grabby! It’s not going to absorb you! You’re not going to have your heart racing. It’s not going to give you big feelings; it’s just going to be like, Here’s – literary soap opera an interesting way to describe it, because soap operas try to be dramatic! They’re extremely dramatic!

Amanda: Yeah. Well, like, there’s a, a cozy fantasy novella that I’m featuring in my next edition of Get Rec’d.

Sarah: Which is such a great series, by the way.

Amanda: It comes out Sunday.

Sarah: It’s so fun.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: It’s so great.

Amanda: And one of the biggest complaints that I saw, ‘cause it was, like, recommended to me on, like, my Libro.fm, and I didn’t wind up picking it up, but I thought it would be of interest to the site, and one of the biggest complaints was that, like, nothing happens? That it’s just kind of meandering?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: And I feel like some people, especially in cozy books, whether it’s like a cozy mystery, a cozy fantasy, nothing sometimes has to happen. It’s just like a meandering book, and you’re there for a while, and then it just ends.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: I personally don’t like those books. I need stuff to happen, and I need some high stakes for me personally, but I think some people enjoy the, like, dip in, hang out, and dip out, and then you just kind of forget about it.

Sarah: Yeah! I also think a lot of books being published right now, ‘cause you linked to that really interesting Twitter thread about how marketing books by trope means that you’re sacrificing emphasis on plot. It’s very hard to sell a plot; it’s very easy, easy to promote a trope in a micro-format like social media, Instagram, whatever, you have a time limit or a word limit? Or a character limit? But we’ve also talked about how a lot of books being published right now seem like they’re just vibes.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: And this is –

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: – this is, this is – maybe that’s what this is! Maybe that’s the best way to describe Debbie Macomber’s books.

Amanda: It’s just vibes.

Sarah: Debbie Macomber has a vibe!

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: And that vibe is knitting. [Laughs]

Amanda: I mean, I feel like, the lang-, yeah, the language of social media is very vibe, aesthetic, aesthetic-focused –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – right? I also go back to, Carrie wrote a review, and I think it was for a historical romance, and I can’t remember which one, but she described it as a soap bubble book.

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: It’s light, and you’re, you’re kind, you’re, you’re in it, right; you’re in this little bubble; but once it pops it’s like you forget all about it, and it, you know, you move on with your life.

Sarah: Yeah, that was –

Amanda: Like…the vibe I get.

Sarah: – How to Manage a Marquess by Sally MacKenzie.

Amanda: Yep!

Sarah: And it’s:

>> a Soap Bubble Romance: it’s light, it’s pretty, it makes me happy, and I forget about it the minute it’s over. It takes considerable skill to write a decent soap bubble, and if you’re stressed or sick or tired, the book might cheer you up. If you want pesky things like consistent behavior, then this is not going to work.

I, I have described Julia Quinn’s novels as mineral water: wonderful and bubbly and fresh when it’s cold, but the minute it reaches room temperature and you’ve thought about it for a minute, it just kind of fades away.

Amanda: Yep.

Sarah: So in Mainstream Romance, what was your pick?

Amanda: So I picked a book called Side Effect by Francis Eaden, and it’s on page 90.

Sarah: I saw this one, and I was super curious about it because it’s taking place in Cape May.

Amanda: It has one star –

Sarah: Oooh.

Amanda: – and it’s romantic suspense.

>> A series of gruesome murders lead FBI agent Ryan Berrigan to the restored Victorian town of Cape May, New Jersey.

Sarah: Yep.

Amanda: >> Two women have been brutally slain in a manner eerily reminiscent of the 19th-century Jack the Ripper killings, and Ryan is determined to bring the twisted perpetrator to justice. When psychologist Maggie Emory hears of her friend’s disappearance, she ruches, she rushes to Cape May. Maggie and Ryan team up to track the killer and soon find their professional partnership evolving into a much more intimate relationship.

>> Side Effect has the making of a chilling thriller, but never lives up to its intriguing premise. The murderer, a truly scary figure, is the only fully developed character in the novel. So much time is spent with the villains that it becomes difficult to follow Maggie and Ryan’s developing romance, let alone care about the lives of the two-dimensional characters.

Sarah: Oof!

Amanda: >> Rushed and underplayed, the climactic final scenes fail to rescue the sagging plot.

And I specifically called out the phrase “sagging plot,” ‘cause, Ooh boy!

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: That’s a read!

Sarah: Oof.

Amanda: This is one of the few one-star reviews where I’m like, This is a, a decent one-star review here.

Sarah: Yeah, I understand why this got one star. And it’s, God, it’s published right next to four and a half star Top Pick for Purity in Death.

Amanda: [Laughs] I know, by J. D. Robb!

Sarah: Ouch! Wow. Sagging plot.

Amanda: Yeah. Sagging plot.

Sarah: That’s brutal! That is quite –

Amanda: I know.

Sarah: – brutal. There were also some one-stars in Series Romance. Did you notice that? There were a couple one-stars –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – especially in Harlequin Intrigue. I have the feeling that whoever is reviewing the Harlequin, Harlequin Intrigue has some standards that are not being met by these Intrigues. There’s not enough intrigue is what I’m guessing.

[Laughter]

Sarah: But mine was, my pick was one star: A Man Worth Remembering by Delores Fossen, and to recap, if you don’t remember from previous ep-, iss-, episodes, all of the series reviews are written in sections, so it’s like a long column, one book after the other, and each in its new paragraph, so they’re only a little paragraph, and then each line has its own little column. So this is part of Harlequin Intrigue:

>> Leigh has amnesia! And doesn’t realize that she, like Gabe Sanchez, the man that pulled her out of the lake, is a special agent. She also doesn’t recall that Gabe is her estranged husband, only that someone tried to kill her, and she isn’t trusting anyone. In an uneasy alliance, she and Gabe team up to figure out who is trying to kill her and why. Delores Fossen creates predictable characters with unbelievable conflicts. The lackluster dialogue and weak turning points make A Man Worth Remembering a disappointing read.

So clearly he wasn’t worth remembering. [Laughs]

Amanda: No –

Sarah: I wonder if she gets her memory back –

Amanda: – he was not.

Sarah: – and was like, Yeah, nope, I’m out. [Laughs]

Amanda: I also picked a one-star, the one right after this one. [Laughs]

Sarah: Tell me all about it!

Amanda: Two things happen: my brain goes a hundred miles an hour, and I am a person who, I feel like when I read something I automatically start associating it with things that don’t really fit, and I’ll explain what I mean.

Sarah: M’kay!

Amanda: So the title’s called When Lightning Strikes by Aimee Thurlo on page 98, and also from Harlequin Intrigue.

>> Daniel Lightning Eagle –

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: So I read that first, and my mind conjured Sam Eagle from the Muppets?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: And so from then on I’m imagining Sam Eagle, which is what I mean where my brain just is like a runaway train? Just constantly associating, like, pop culture references to things?

Sarah: Oh no.

Amanda: So now I’m on Sam Eagle. So:

>> Daniel “Lightning” –

That’s his nickname.

>> – Eagle, PI for Gray Wolf Pack, has been hired by Hannah Jones’s uncle to locate his “emotionally unstable” –

In quotes.

>> – niece and the money she has stolen from the church building fund.

Sarah: Ooh.

Amanda: >> When Daniel catches up with her, he’s not prepared to fall in love with this beautiful woman who can’t recall the details needed to vindicate herself.

Sarah: Oops!

Amanda: >> Readers will find When Lightning Strikes by Aimee Thurlo a predictable story with a tired plot, dull characters, and a romance that lacks sparkle and charm.

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: >> Hannah and Daniel don’t have much personality at all, and the action seems always to hinge on Hannah making silly decisions.

But going back to Daniel “Lightning” Eagle, PI for Gray Wolf Pack, gives me, like, twelve-year-old boy trying to write a book vibes?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: And I don’t know if anyone’s had this experience, but I have a younger brother, and growing up he became obsessed with the name Spike and thought it was the coolest, toughest name? So any pet that he had was named Spike. He had a guinea pig named Spike; he had a rabbit named Spike. Any, like, imagination, like, character that he played – we were, like, you know, play fighting or whatever – always named Spike. Any videogame character that he made, always named Spike. So this just gives me, like, fourteen-year-old vibe of, like, My name is Daniel “Lightning” Eagle, and I work for the Gray Wolf Pack! Like, real Mountain Dew Code Red, body odor energy, like, teen, preteen boy. Like –

Sarah: Axe Body Spray.

Amanda: Axe Body Spray, so much. That’s what – [laughs] – me up. But then picture that teen boy also being Sam Eagle from the Muppets.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: So that’s where my brain went. It’s –

Sarah: Thank you for that journey into your brain. I’m entirely delighted!

[Laughter]

Amanda: It’s entertaining to be here, for sure, in this brain.

[Laughter]

Sarah: So the next and final section is Inspirational and –

Amanda: We’re ready to get inspired.

Sarah: – we’re ready to get inspired. This, again, is laid out like Series, where each publisher just has one paragraph per book, so Bethany House, Fleming, Revell, Tyndale, Zondervan.

The one that I picked is called Firstborn, and I have to find it on this page, because it’s not laid – oh, there we go. Okay. This is from Tyndale House:

>> In Firstborn, three stars, Erika, her husband Steven, and their teenage son have a blessed life, until one day a letter arrives for Erika. Slowly her life begins to unravel. Steven is concerned and wonders what’s in the envelope. When she finally tells him the truth, it’s more than he can bear, and he forgets all –

Amanda: What’s in the envelope?

Sarah: Right? You don’t find out, I’m sorry to say; spoilers.

Amanda: Dang it.

Sarah: >> He forgets all he’s learned since becoming a Christian. Robin Lee Hatcher pens an intense story with flashbacks guaranteed to make you cry. Erika is an incredible character who faces her past head on. Very true to life with a strong message.

What was in the letter? I’m guessing from the title Firstborn it’s that she had a child before she met Steven? But, like –

Amanda: Maybe.

Sarah: Or maybe she’s the firstborn and is set to inherit a planet? Like, what, what is, what is, what is the story here? Does she have to go into a cave –

Amanda: I…read that book.

Sarah: – with Cricket? Like, what is going on?

Amanda: [Laughs] She just found out that her NASA expedition is going to be led by a fourteen-year-old girl!

Sarah: [Laughs] That’s what’s in the letter, and he forgets everything he learned since becoming a Christian. Like, What?! What happened? What’s in the letter? They don’t tell you; can you believe? [Growls]

Amanda: I was hoping they would tell you in this review.

Sarah: But they do not tell you!

What did you pick?

Amanda: So I didn’t pick one – I picked a, a two-star review, but I picked it mainly to talk about language and how language has changed.

Sarah: Please tell me –

Amanda: So this is, this is –

Sarah: – everything.

Amanda: Yeah, this is not a Sam Eagle bit – sorry, everybody. But I picked a book called The Covenant, and it was published by Bethany House.

>> The Covenant initially appeared to be about Leah Ebersol, one of four sisters. However, numerous unnecessary points of view are problematic and cause the story to seem unfocused. Leah is the tenderhearted daughter who strives to please everyone. She cares about her older sister Sadie and has grave concerns about the way she is behaving. But Leah turns sixteen soon and will begin her own courting.

Yuck.

>> Her father wants her to marry someone she does not truly love. Her heart belongs to Jonas Mast. If she obeys her heart, what will happen to her relationship with her father and family? You’ll have to wait for subsequent books from Beverly Lewis to find out the answers.

So, one thing that I caught was the use of the word “problematic.”

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: And how they said numerous unnecessary points of view are problematic, as in this creates a problem! However, in our modern parlance, “problematic” means something a little different, where, like, Yes, this creates a problem, but usually using the phrase “problematic” harkens up differences for me than just like, Oh, these details make this reading experience difficult. Not in a triggering way, but in a, like, hard-to-follow way. So I thought it was interesting, and I’m like, Oh yeah, that word.

Sarah: Yep. And “problematic” as a descriptor used to make me so mad. I’m like, What is the problem? I need you to be specific. Is the problem that –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – that someone smells bad, or is the problem that someone’s actively racist? What’s the problem? I need you to be more specific.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Here it’s actually being specific!

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: It’s confusing ‘cause too many people are talking. Oh! That makes sense. That is very interesting, though, because the minute you drop “problematic,” someone’s going to go like, Oh! And it’s, it’s very, “problematic” now is very, like a euphemism. And it’s not –

Amanda: Yeah, like, my brain immediately goes to, like, someone’s racist, someone’s a sex pest. Like –

Sarah: Mm-hmm! Yeah.

Amanda: – that sort of problematic. Not, like, multiple points of view!

Sarah: And here it’s just too many people talking, and we’re confused!

Amanda: It’s confusing!

Sarah: Yeah, it’s confusing.

So yeah, I don’t see any books in here that I’m super into reading, except for the first one about Catherine and the pirate.

Amanda: Yeah, none for me, really.

Sarah: Whoa.

Amanda: And, like, thankfully there’s Goodreads, so, like, we can look up the book with the envelope and it’ll probably tell us.

Sarah: Yeah! Wait –

Amanda: What’s in that envelope?

Sarah: Let me look it up real quick. Firstborn, Robin Lee –

Amanda: I think you’re right in that, like, she probably had another child.

Sarah: Oh! It’s in the description on Amazon.

>> A powerful contemporary novel from award-winning author Robin Lee Hatcher. Erika’s worst fear is realized when her well-kept secret shows up on her doorstep. As she reaches out to a daughter she gave up for adoption twenty-one years ago, her husband pulls away, leaving Erika with an impossible choice. This…

Amanda: So the envelope is also with a person.

Sarah: Yeah! Like –

Amanda: The person is also there.

Sarah: – just rolled up with a person like, Here’s an envelope and also me.

>> Wholesome writing with a good ending. Was a very quick read. The emotions are powerful and real.

Well, I mean, Robin Lee Hatcher’s fans liked it, but the husband sounds kind of like a piece of shit.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: All right.

Amanda: He does.

Sarah: Well, there you go! Those were the books.

Amanda: Those were the books.

Sarah: Those were the books. It was all right.

[music]

Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this week’s episode. Thank you again to Amanda. I will link to all of the books we talked about – at least the ones that are still in print – and I’ll have a whole list of the Avon True Romances if you want to check those out as well.

We will be back in two weeks with the ads and features of this episode, so, you know, hit Subscribe, tell a friend, come hang out with us in 2002.

As always, I end with a terrible joke. This week’s joke comes from BlueDevilGirl, and it’s terrible, which is why I’m telling it to you.

What do overhead compartments and vultures have in common?

Give up? What do overhead compartments and vultures have in common?

They both get filled with carryon.

[Laughs] It’s so silly, I love it! Thank you, BlueDevilGirl!

On behalf of everyone here, we wish you the very best of reading. Have a wonderful weekend, and we will see you back here next week.

Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.

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