Smart Podcast, Trashy Books, May 12, 2017

[music]

Sarah Wendell: Hello, and welcome to episode number 246 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, and with me today are all the Bitches again! This is our at-RT recap. I’m calling this Sleepy Bitches at RT. Not, not that different from when we were sleepy and we talked about it, then we talked about it while we were at it. This is our impressions of the 2017 RT convention in Atlanta. We gathered in a hotel room like we do every year, and we talk about RT. We talk about Romantic Times, what we liked, what we noticed, what we enjoyed most. We start by talking about meeting so many of you, which easily is the best part. It was so cool to meet so many of you. We talk about Arthur, who manages the lines at RT in very brilliant and organized ways. We talk about our favorite events, including the incredibly fun and positive energy of our Reader Recommendation Party, which could not have happened without all of you coming and being so awesome, and we talk about some of the panels we attended or, in some cases, were on. My mind is repeatedly occupied during this episode with my theory of effective swag, which is a continually evolving theory, and when we all start snacking during this episode, we get a little punchy discussing our wish list of future panels and workshops, and we also discover how many bath bombs is too many bath bombs. I don’t know if you needed to know the answer to this question, but we’re going to answer it for you nonetheless.

Now this is only the first of several episodes that I have that I recorded at RT. I’m definitely going to have three, possibly four, including our live show, which was so much fun. If you attended RT and you came to the live show, oh, I hope you enjoy the episode, ‘cause I’m having the best time editing it.

Which moves me to my next item on the intro list. I have a list, ‘cause I have a list for everything. Pretty much all things are controlled in my life by lists. So first thing: I want to give an enormous, massive, ample thank you to every Patreon supporter for making our live show possible. I will have special cuts and outtakes and some bonus content for the Patreon supporters as I edit, and if you want to get in on the fun or you want to have a look and see what’s going on with the Patreon, have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches. For a dollar a month or even a little more, you make a huge difference in keeping this podcast increasing in its awesomeness as fast as I can possibly manage. All of the equipment that I used for the live show and the, the microphones, the cables, the multitrack digital recorder, all of that was possible because of Patreon supporters, so if you’re a Patreon supporter of this podcast, thank you. If I knew where you lived and it was feasible, I would bake you all the best cookies.

Now this episode is brought to you by Audible. Audible has things they need you to know, and I kind of need you to know these things too, ‘cause Audible’s rad! Audible has an unmatched selection of audiobooks, and if you have, if you travel a lot, having someone tell you a story is a brilliant way to use up travel time. Now, last week I did some recommendations of audiobooks that I know are pretty rad. This time I wanted to recommend some narrators that I know are superb, and they’re names that I look for when I’m shopping for audiobooks to listen to.

First of all, Renee Raudman: I did a two-part interview with her a few years ago. She talked about developing Curran’s growl for the Ilona Andrews series, and she’s terrific at it. Her narration of all of Ilona Andrews’ books is just, it’s terrific.

The late Anna Fields narrated Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ books, and Fields was exceptionally good, especially at comic timing, which is really difficult when it’s your own words, let alone someone else’s words. She was a brilliant, brilliant narrator.

And finally – you’ve probably heard this mentioned before – Nicholas Boulton narrates and performs Laura Kinsale’s books, and you should find a sample, because, wow.

And you know, that was two women, so I’ll nar-, I’ll, I’ll recommend two male narrators. They are abridged. It is the only sad thing about these. There are, I believe, four Georgette Heyer novels narrated by Richard Armitage, and I think I’ve listened to each of them at least three times.  They’re awesome! And, like, if you need ear candy, if, it’s the ultimate in ear candy. Richard Armitage reading Georgette Heyer: wow. Yeah, it’s great.

You can get a free audiobook with a thirty-day trial at audible.com/SmartPodcast. That’s audible.com/SmartPodcast. Once you sign up, you get exclusive programming like Authorized, which this season is all about sex and romance, and it’s a terrific season. I’ve been saving them up and then listening while I walk the dogs. And if you decide to sign up and you use this URL, double and triple thank you, because you’re letting them know that advertising on podcasts like this one is an effective way to advertise. So audible.com/SmartPodcast, and if you have recommendations for audiobooks that you think people should know about, email me at [email protected]. Thank you, Audible, for sponsoring this episode.

Now, I, of course, will have links to all of the books that we talk about, and I will have links to pictures of us when this episode goes up on Friday, May – it’s 2017, right? That much I know – Friday, May 12th. Yay! Good job, Sarah. On Friday, May 12th, I will also have an entry at smartbitchestrashybooks.com with pictures and our own recaps of the things we liked best, plus a reader and also a reader. A reader and a reader. A reader and her mom, who are both readers, so it’s two readers, but they’re related. They did not have the best time at RT, and while we had a, a great time, and I realize this is my ninth RT, I also want to make sure that, you know, people who didn’t have a great time get to share what they thought, ‘cause their experience and their reactions are equally valid. So if you’re curious, you want to see pictures of some of the things we’re talking about, including a picture of us recording this episode – [laughs] – go to smartbitchestrashybooks.com. It’ll be in there, along with the podcast entry.

The music you’re listening to is provided by Sassy Outwater. I will have information at the end of the show as to who this is.

Currently, I have one dog and two cats running around my office, so if you were thinking, gosh, you know, recording at RT means you didn’t bring your pets, yes! I did not bring my pets, but they are, they are helping now, because, well, I’m recording, they know it, it’s time to chase each other and knock boxes over. I should just get them a cat toy with, like, bells on it, right? Like, I’ll start recording and they’ll be like, woohoo, it’s bell time!

I have one more thing on my list for the intro here, and this is a little bit technical. I’m, I’m actually a little worried about sharing this, because maybe this is just way too much information, but normally when I’m editing the podcast, I’m editing one audio track that contains both my voice and the voice of whomever else I am interviewing, which is why sometimes you’ll hear us talk over one another, and I can’t really separate that out. So because of the equipment that I used, which was so high grade, I was, I will be honest, I was a little intimidated by this equipment when I was unpacking it. I was kind of like, wow, this is, this is very professional, and I am not…that. Yeah, not that. So what I’m working with here is actually five separate tracks, which is really cool. There’s one for each of the microphones, and we pass the microphones around, plus the recorder itself had a sort of omnidirectional ambient mic that was picking up all of us. Now, the good news is, it creates a much bigger, fuller sound. When I was editing with headphones on it was really nice quality; I was very impressed. But this also calls upon my skills to level out the volume. Some of us are louder than others. I am a very loud voice. Carrie is a loud voice. Elyse is a quiet voice. So I did my best to modulate the volume, because I do – although I tell people not to read their reviews, I do read the reviews of the podcast, because I want to know how I can improve your listening experience, and I know for some of you, especially when I am laughing, that it’s too loud. So I have done my best to modulate the volume so that we will make the super loud parts more quiet and make the quiet parts more loud so that it should be relatively even, or at least just not eardrum rupturingly painful. If I’ve actually ruptured someone’s eardrums, I’m going to feel guilty for, like, ages. I don’t think that I have, though.

All of this is to say, I am learning with this new equipment, and I’m learning with multiple tracks, and I am doing my best to make it a good listening experience. If I can improve it in any way, would you please tell me? I want to make it better. I want to make each episode better, especially better than that one early on where it sounds like I’m running around the microphone in circles. That was, that was bad. I should not have done that. I don’t know how that ended up happening, but whatever it was, I really apologize. So if I can make this better, if I can make the listening experience better, would you please tell me at [email protected]? As I said, this is a learning progress – progress? Process! It’s a learning, I am making progress in my process of learning, but yeah, it’s just me, Garage Band, and a couple of really nifty pieces of equipment.

And one last thing – I know, I know, you want to hear the interview already. I’m, I’m getting there, I promise! It’s a long intro. I’m getting there. I mentioned before that I read the reviews of the podcast, and I learned over the past week at RT a little bit about podcasting reviews and how word of mouth is extremely effective in promoting a podcast. Now, this show is, you know, for, for us. This is our romance community show, but I also know a lot of you who are listening are not necessarily romance readers, which is totally rad! So however you found out about this show, thank you for joining us, and if you have told someone about the show or recommended it or left a review or left a rating wherever you listen to it, I want to say a big, massive, you know, supercell-cloud-sized thank you because you are helping more people discover the show, and I met more listeners this year at Romantic Times than I have in the past few years of doing the show. So thank you for being part of the podcast, and thank you for reviewing it and listening and for your feedback and for just generally being awesome! If you’re walking around today being awesome, you’re making the world a better place. Well done!

And I am going to shut up now! You ready? I’m going to shut up. Really. Just in, in a second. Well, after I say these words, and then I’m going to shut up: thank you for joining us, and now, on with the podcast!

[music]

Elyse: So, I have two quick things to share: one, when I was in line for coffee, this woman was looking at my badge and looking at my badge, and I’m like, fuck, right?

Amanda: I know.

Elyse: ‘Cause this could go one of two ways –

Redheadedgirl: Right, yeah.

Elyse: – and then she told me that we got her back into knitting, and she made, like, twenty-five pussy hats as a result of us getting her back into knitting.

RHG or Sarah: Aww!

Sarah: Good job, Elyse!

Elyse: And then Amanda and I went to this really nice restaurant for lunch, and people were looking at us funny because we had a lengthy conversation about child hoboes.

Sarah: Well, why don’t you have a conversation about child hoboes?

Elyse: Because there was, I think it was Alabama, some lawmaker who wants to end compulsory schooling and not “force school down people’s throats,” and we were like, do you just become a child hobo then? Like, what’s the alternative, learna trade?

Amanda: Roam the train tracks looking for unopened cans of beans.

Sarah: So I have two things to tell all of you. First, I had lunch with some people from Grand Central today, and they were counting up which ones of you they hadn’t met yet.

[Laughter]

Elyse: We’re like Pokémon!

Sarah: Yes!

[Laughter]

Sarah: You’re like your own PokeStop.

Carrie: I’m a Pokémon!

Sarah: Like, she, oh, I met Elyse! [Gasps!] You met Elyse! I haven’t met Elyse yet!

Elyse: [Snorts]

Sarah: They were so cute! So then, here’s the cool thing: so I had a meeting with Emily from Wax, who’s the head of Waxcreative who does the site.

Someones: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Sarah: So she gives me this printout of, these are the site stats from when they redesigned the site until now, so she could look at the top ten pages and then identify opportunities for additional advertisement or inter-site, like, house ads and inter-house promotions.

Someone: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: So this is the top ten over June 2015 to today, so, like, a little over, a little under two years. So obviously number one is, like, the main page, and then number two is page two, then Reviews by Grade, reviews that are for specifically books, the podcast, the Reviews page, a More page – which we’re going to work on, because that’s actually on the tablet and the phone only, and it’s like, when, when you shrink down the site, the top menu and things drop off, the word More appears, and people really like that – page three, which is nice, Grades, A+, and then number ten: in under, just under two years, the number ten most popular page on the site with 32,437 page views is “Mad Max: Fury Road Makes Your Rape Arguments Invalid.”

[Laughter]

Elyse: No!

Carrie: Yay!

Sarah: Yup.

Carrie: [Screams]

Sarah: Isn’t that amazing?

Carrie: Yes!

Sarah: So, technically, like, very, very for real? That’s viral.

Carrie: No!

RHG: Yeah.

Sarah: For my site? Yeah!

Carrie: Whooo!

Amanda or Elyse: Whoo!

Sarah: This is, this is nearly two years. So, Carrie?

Carrie: Yeah?

Sarah: Nice job!

Carrie: Thank you!

Sarah: Yay! So, guys, how is RT this year so far?

Elyse: It’s awesome.

RHG: It’s been great.

Carrie: Woohoo!

RHG: Okay, so I’ve been having a fairly comparatively chill RT, which is made much easier by the fact that this hotel is so much better than Vegas!

Multiple people: Ahh!

Someone: It really is.

RHG: So much better. It’s better in that everything is sort of centralized along a tube, so you can get back to your room and drop off bags or change your shoes, which I’ve been doing three times a day.

Sarah: These are important things.

RHG: Yeah. And so, like, you will run into people in the elevators and wander around the lobby and find friends, and it’s just so much less stressful to get down to the actual convention site that doesn’t involve a hike –

Sarah: Walking a mile and a half.

RHG: – that may require a Sherpa or two.

Sarah: I hit my step goal in Vegas by, like, 10 a.m.

RHG: Yeah, exactly.

Sarah: ‘Cause it was so far from the hotel to the conference –

RHG: Yeah.

Sarah: – and this, it’s all in one place.

RHG: Yes. Also, the food options are much more varied and just better.

Sarah: And you can leave, and there’s, like, a food court and restaurants –

RHG: Yeah. Exactly.

Sarah: – and, like, you can actually eat a healthy thing like a, like a vegetable? Which is pretty rad?

RHG: You can eat a vegetable; you can also get cinnamon roll French toast across the street.

Sarah: Corner Bakery?

RHG: Yeah.

Sarah: It’s pretty good, isn’t it?

RHG: It’s really fricking good.

Sarah: So, what have you thought about the conference this year itself? Is it better than last year? Is it about the same? How are you enjoying the conference itself?

RHG: I mean, just the circumstances surrounding the conference is so much better. I’m just enjoying myself more?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

RHG: And it’s so much more relaxed. I’ve been to some really great panels. We just, I just, like, literally ran here from a panel on Regency and Georgian historicals with Julia Quinn and Valerie Bowman and Elizabeth Hoyt –

Sarah: As you do.

RHG: – and Anna Bradley, who is like, oh, Smart Bitches! I love them! I read you every day! That’s how I found out that some of my books were on sale, so good job, Amanda!

[Laughter]

Sarah: That’s actually very common. Like, when Amanda schedules the tweets for books on sale –

RHG: Yeah.

Sarah: – I’ll see an author go, oh, hey! That’s great!

RHG: Oh, hey, I had no idea! And the conversation got briefly derailed into, another author had her, her taxonomy of romance husbands.

Elyse: There’s a taxonomy?

RHG: There is a taxonomy. There are four types. There’s the one that shows up after you have gotten successful and mysteriously disappears after a baby. There’s the one who is threatened by his wife’s success. There’s the one who wraps himself up in the wife’s success – this is our book; this is our contract – and –

Amanda: That sounds gross.

RHG: Yes.

Elyse: Mm-hmm.

RHG: Yes, these first three types are gross. And then there is the lovely kind who is – she says that she has found that they are often left brain oriented careers? So, like, engineers, computer guys, scientists, and so nothing they do is involved in their wife’s career, so they’re lovely and supportive and, like, bring the tea, or as Julia Quinn says, I don’t let him bring me coffee ‘cause he doesn’t make it right, but he would if I would let him.

Elyse: Three out of –

RHG: I’m, I’m looking up this, this other author right now. Eileen Dreyer.

Sarah: Eileen Dreyer.

RHG: Eileen Dreyer.

Sarah: That makes sense.

RHG: Yes.

Sarah: That makes sense.

RHG: But she, she came up with this at an RT long since past. She was hanging with Nora Roberts and a few other people who were not nominated for awards, so they were in the back of the awards ceremony – [laughs] –

Sarah: There are times –

RHG: – talking about everybody else. So that was a really excellent panel, and we also talked about history, and then there was a girl who was like, I’m having – in the, in the audience – who said, I’m having trouble finding sources for history that aren’t, like, a list of battles, and me and Julia and Melody, all the, all the authors were like, here are some ideas, and me and Julia and Melody, the Swedish podcasters, were like, girl, we got you. [Laughs]

Sarah: Yep, we’re here with you.

RHG: We’re going to send you here, here, and here. Email me. It was a good time.

Sarah: That’s very cool. Elyse? How’s RT been for you?

Elyse: RT’s been really good. I’ve been – as I think everyone knows, ‘cause everyone keeps looking at me and being like, you okay? I’ve been kind of like RTing in a fibro fog, and then I also drunkenly babbled at Damon Suede for, like, five minutes, but he kept touching me, so I think we were okay. We were kind of like –

Sarah: Oh, you were fine.

Elyse: – we were drunk-babbling at each other.

Sarah: I was talking to him in passing on my way between two sessions, and this, the – I’ve seen this kind of guy a couple of times at different romance conferences. It’s an older dude in a windbreaker and jeans who looks completely ill at ease by the number of women and the number of shirtless pictures on the wall around him, but he’s pretty sure he could write a really good romance novel, and he wants to talk to an agent.

Elyse: Oh, great!

Sarah: I’ve met that guy, like, that type of person a couple of times.

Elyse: Yeah, fuck that guy.

Sarah: And I’m like – so he walks up to me and Damon Suede, ‘cause we’re having this conversation about, I don’t even know what the hell we were talking about, and Damon Suede’s like a foot whole taller than me.

Elyse: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: And this guy walks up and he goes, are you guys agents? And we’re like, no. He’s like, ‘cause I really think I could be very good at historical romance, and I was like, okay?

RHG: Bro. Bro.

[Laughter]

Sarah: Bro. So I was, I was, like, sort of trying to think very quickly how to gently disengage from this person who clearly wanted the opportunity –

Elyse or RHG: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – to tell me all about his book, and I did not want to know, and I was like, I am sorry, we are not agents or editors, and, and Damon’s like, yeah, I do not publish books, and, and I was like, don’t say you write them, because he’s going to ask you or tell you about his, and Damon just stopped right there, and I was like, oh, thank God!

[Laughter]

Sarah: He has, he’s met this guy before too. [Laughs] And I’m like, but if you go over there to the registration, you can probably find out about buying a day pass and seeing if there are any agent pitch appointments open, because they do have agents here being pitched. You could just get a day pass, but you want to talk to that woman over there, and then I was, like, mentally thinking, lady, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry, ‘cause he walked right on over. But I am going to bet you that he does not buy a day pass, because that would mean actual investment. He just wants to walk up and pitch somebody in the lobby of a hotel.

RHG: Right, and get a five million dollar contract.

Sarah: Because that’s how that works, right?

RHG: Oh, yeah!

Sarah: Totally. So, if, if, if he was, like, touching you and engaged in the conversation, you were very fine –

Elyse: Okay, well, that’s good to know.

Sarah: – ‘cause I watched him talk to the most awkward and intrusive person.

Elyse: That’s, that’s good to know. No, it’s been really good. The hotel’s definitely better. It feels smaller this year, though? Like, the overall attendance feels –

Sarah: It’s not!

Elyse: It is not, okay!

Sarah: It is not! I will tell you –

Elyse: I think they just did a better job of managing things then. There’s this guy who works for RT. His name is Arthur; he’s an older gentleman; he’s bald; he wears suspenders. Arthur gets shit done in line. Like, he’s, like, you’re going to sit there, you’re going to sit there, you’re going to sit there. Now you people face this way. Now you people face this way. We’re going to do this like – we, he, he’s ready for, like, the invasion of Normandy.

[Laughter]

Elyse: Right. We’re –

Sarah: If there’s an apocalypse –

Elyse: We’re going to –

Sarah: – here at RT, he’s in charge.

Elyse: We’re going to get you in that ballroom; you’re going to get your books signed; we’re going to do this in an orderly fashion. I love Arthur. I saw him in the, the elevator today. I’m like, hey –

Sarah: People who fear crowds and chaos love dudes like him.

Elyse: He’s amazing!

Sarah: So here’s a thing I learned: so, New Orleans, four years ago, had really high attendance because –

Elyse: It’s New Orleans.

Sarah: – New Orleans. The following year, Atlanta did not. Was not as – or not, not Atlanta; this is Atlanta – Dallas. Remember, Dallas was smaller. Then it was Vegas, and Vegas had a high attendance because it’s Vegas.

Elyse: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: And my understanding is, was that RT was expecting a little bit of a drop, but they didn’t get one.

Elyse: Hmm!

Sarah: For one thing, Atlanta is cheap as fuck to fly to from most major airports. There are a lot of people who would drive in, which they did, and so as a result, I’ve seen a lot more readers of color, I’ve seen a lot more women of color, I’ve seen a lot more expressions of gender fluidity. There are a lot of people who are clearly openly genderfluid and genderqueer, and have –

Someone: Yes.

Sarah: – this huge, wide range of gender expression! And I haven’t seen that as much in previous RTs, which means that this is a safe place, and that makes me so happy.

Elyse: I think the, the buttons were a really good idea, Redheadedgirl, because the number of people who have come up to me and been like, oh, you’re from Smart Bitches, and then we wind up, like, going to dinner with –

RHG: Yeah.

Elyse: – people who read the site or just hang out in the bar.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Elyse: Like, it’s very –

Sarah: Yes.

Elyse: – it’s very chill.

RHG: Yeah, I –

Sarah: Redheadedgirl –

RHG: I keep switching bags, because I got this beautiful, gorgeous bag from the Bollywood panel, which was the best! But I keep switching bags, and then people are like, do you have pins? And I’m like, I don’t – here, just take mine.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

RHG: So I’ve been through several rounds of pins, actually, on my badge.

Sarah: And this, this supports my, my developing theory of swag. There’s swag for at the conference that helps you identify what group you’re in –

Elyse: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – and helps you identify what you love so that other people can identify the things that you love that they love too, and then there’s swag for after the conference, which is what the stickers are for, because that you’re going to put on your laptop or put on your book or put on your car if you’re me.

RHG: Or your brand-new Kindle Fire. [Laughs]

Sarah: Yay, Kindle Fire! What about the individual events? Have there been books at events?

Amanda: Some? We went to, me and another reader went to the rockabilly festival, and they had all of these booths around the edge, and some you could play games to get a book, some of them were giving out books, and then you would wait in line to play a game, and they had books on the table and posters of book covers. You would assume that there’d be a book to win. No. If you –

Sarah: Not always.

Amanda: – if you won the game you’d get, like, a pair of sunglasses or – like, after waiting in line for fifteen minutes, so the person I was with – I won’t say her name, just in case it’s not okay, but she’s like, the booth should be labeled –

Sarah: Win a book here.

Amanda: – no shit, work for your shit, free shit.

[Laughter]

Elyse: Right. And we were talking, I, we both went to separate events where they did the same thing, where you walked in the door and you got a piece of paper that had authors’ book covers on it, and you had to collect all ten signatures in order to get a bag with books or to be entered into a raffle to potentially win a bag with books. So all this did was it made you, the entire event, wait in line, and then there was so much pressure to get all ten signatures by the time the event was over in an hour that authors, you know, you could tell, they weren’t spending the time they wanted to with the readers. Like, readers actually wanted to interact with them; they couldn’t. People in line would get annoyed if someone wanted to, you know –

Sarah: Take a picture, get a hug, right.

Elyse: – can you take a picture? It was such a, it was such a bad plan. It, it, all it did was really irritate everyone in that room.

Sarah: And it changed the focus, because if the focus is come and meet the authors you want to meet, then it’s okay, can I take a picture? I mean, at the RWA signing, Nora Roberts’ table line will go out the door and down the hall, and they’ll start giving out tickets at RT signings for tables that are crowded because readers want to tell you all the things and take a picture –

Elyse: Right.

Sarah: – and just, you know, you got this thirty-second to one-minute time span to meet this author who rocked your world. If you change the focus from meeting the author to getting a signature, then the point isn’t meeting the author, the point is for the author to write her name on a piece of paper, and then you move on. And if, and if I was, if I was determined to get some books, there was a book I really wanted and it was an author I didn’t know, I mean, that’s super awkward. Hi, I don’t know you, I don’t really care, can you sign my paper, bye.

Elyse: Right, and then the whole idea is that you win books by the author, which would have been better to just give me the book so that I can get my book signed, not this stupid piece of paper.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Elyse: Because now the event is done; I can’t get my book signed.

Sarah: Part of the problem, though, is that books are more and more of an expensive commodity, and publishers generally can’t be like, yeah, let’s ship three thousand books! That’s no big deal. That’s too much of a price loss.

Amanda: Well, Elyse and I were talking at lunch, and we were curious. We were, you know, speculating, but I remember going to BEA, Book Expo America, one year, which is an industry convention –

Sarah: Right, that’s for booksellers and book buyers.

Amanda: – for booksellers and stuff like that, but I went, and I was really disappointed there weren’t any romance publishers on the floor with booths, and I reached out to a publicist and I was like, hey, you going to be at BEA? And they reserve all of their stuff for BookCon, which is the fan, like, weekend following BEA because it’s such a consumer-driven genre. And so I’m very curious, because at the end of RT, the last two days, Saturday and Sunday, are the FAN-tastic Day –

Sarah: Oh, yeah.

Amanda: – so I –

Sarah: I know what’s in the bag for FAN-tastic Day.

Amanda: So I’m wondering if publishers are saving –

Sarah: Yes.

Amanda: – their books for the –

Sarah: FAN-tastic Day.

Amanda: – the reader-focused, dedicated days rather than, you know, the industry stuff, the librarian stuff. I mean there are reader events during the week –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – but those two days are specifically for readers. It’s not, the, the time isn’t shared with, you know, aspiring writers and agents –

Sarah: Right.

Amanda: – and stuff like that. So I’m, I’m wondering if the shift for books is going more towards the weekend days rather than providing them for the stuff during the week.

Sarah: Yes, and I also know that for the panels that I have been on that have had authors on the panel, all of them brought two or three copies of their books to give away to people in the audience. Even at librarians, the librarians day panel I did, they, everyone brought books, and that’s a particularly, that can be a really high-ticket item when the presses that specialize in gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/etc. literature, those books are digitally nine dollars and up, in print, fourteen dollars and up, so that’s a really high-ticket item. They will bring their copies to panels that they’re on, and then that turns into a signing opportunity. Like, if you ask a question and you get a book from that author, then you come up and sign it, and that’s a bigger, that’s a bigger deal.

What about you, Carrie? How are you enjoying RT this year?

Carrie: I am having a blast at RT. Not everybody can tell because, like Elyse, I am in this major fibro fog. I am recording this podcast with my head back against the wall, and all I’ve eaten today is, like, two Fig Newtons and some chocolate, and I’m sort of staring into space.

Sarah: You know I have snacks? I got snacks here.

Carrie: You got snacks. I’ll grab a snack later. So another – so, dear listeners, now they’re, like, all feeding me. So, yes, so I am in a big fibro fog, but I am having a really good time. I really appreciate the mobility access in this hotel, because I am getting my steps in every day, but I don’t feel as exhausted as I did at Vegas. I super appreciate that I don’t have to walk through clouds of smoke that make me violently ill every day. That was a big Vegas problem.

Elyse: Meanwhile, at the Kensington thing, Sonali Dev had her ARC of her newest book that is coming out, and I think it doesn’t come out till December?

Sarah: Yep. And I know Alyssa Cole –

Elyse: Yes.

Sarah: – ran out of books.

RHG: Yep.

Sarah: And those are signings you don’t have to pay for the books.

Elyse: Right.

Sarah: Those are, those, so the, so the way it happens usually at RT is that there’re publisher signings where you get in line and you, maybe you get a book signed by the author that you don’t have to pay for, but the big signing on Saturday, you pay for those books. So if you come to the conference, because you – somebody listening might be like, well, if I sign up for fan day and I get a big reg bag full of books, then why would I come to the rest of the conference? ‘Cause the rest of the conference has the publisher-specific signings.

So, what sessions have you guys been to that you thought were outstandingly good and fun?

Amanda: Our own? Can we say that?

Everybody: Yeah!

Sarah: Yes, of course!

Amanda: The energy was so great in that room –

Everybody: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – the Reader Recommendation Party, and a lot of people, I’m sure, have been coming up to –

RHG: Yeah.

Amanda: the other Bitches, but me as well, and, you know, they were saying how great it was and all the recommendations, and I think on Instagram someone tagged us. They took a photo of their notebook with all the recommendations that they liked written down, and it was, like, a page and a half that they had written. There were –

Sarah: There was so much –

Amanda: I know!

Sarah: – Goodreads Add to Your Shelf going on on people’s phones.

Amanda: Unfortunately, someone had asked on Instagram if we wrote down the recommendations, and we didn’t; I don’t know why we didn’t think of it.

Sarah: Next year we have to.

RHG:  Next year.

Amanda: Yeah. So we’ll, hopefully, like, we, we can just keep track of it and then, you know, we’ll do a post in –

Elyse: Well, garlicknitter’s going to be there next year.

Sarah: Yeah –

Amanda: – on the site.

RHG: Ah, there we go! She can –

Amanda: Poor garlicknitter! Don’t put her to work! Oh, my God.

Sarah: So, you realize what that is is a live version of the blog.

RHG: Yeah.

Sarah: it’s a live, in-person blog post, and it, and I was convinced when we first did it that it was not going to work, and it totally works! The other thing I love is that you get different auditory reactions from people? Like, and you get like, oh, I love that book. [Gasps!] Or – and then there’s, I want to recommend Book Title by Author Title, and it’s about a mermaid and a Viking, and they’re lesbians, and there’s a – and people are like, what, what?! What, what?! Give me the name again! Like, you have to say it over again –

Someone: Yeah.

Sarah: – because people get upset that they didn’t hear it!

[Laughter]

Elyse: It, seriously, it’s like a, a, like a revival tent. Everyone’s like –

[Laughter]

Amanda: Hands are in the air.

Elyse: Right.

Someone: Yeah.

Sarah: And the other is – did you guys know, by the way that Meg Tilly is here?

Amanda: Yeah! Yes, I saw her. Jennifer Tilly’s sister and romance author.

RHG: Yes!

Amanda: And award-winning actress.

RHG: But she, but she’s in Valmont. She, what –

Amanda: Yeah, she’s here. She wrote a book, yeah.

Sarah: She’s here; she’s an author. She was at our Reader Recommendation Party. She made a recommendation.

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: I talked to her.

Amanda: She has this lovely, like, silver bob.

Sarah: She’s, oh, yeah.

Elyse: RHG is not okay right now.

Sarah: Oh, yeah. Yeah, she’s here.

RHG: [Laughs]

Sarah: She writes under Sara something. Oh, yeah, she’s, she’s here as an author.

RHG: You have to introduce me! [Laughs]

Sarah: I will, if I see her again, I’ll be like, hey, person I don’t know –

[Laughter]

Sarah: – come over here! The, the other cool thing about the Reader Rec Party that I love is that there are publicists in the room, and they want to tell you about books that they’ve read that aren’t from their own houses? So like, one of them, it wasn’t Erin, the other one flipped her badge so people wouldn’t see her publishing house –

[Laughter]

Sarah: – and she’s like, I want to recommend this book I just finished.

Amanda: I think in the art, I think one of, the art director of Sourcebooks came to the thing.

Sarah: Yes. Yeah, the art director –

Amanda: She stopped me, and she’s like, you recommended A Promise of Fire!

Sarah: Yep, art director was there.

Amanda: Also, speaking of panels there –

Sarah: Yeah?

Amanda: – several people have come up to me to say how amazing that inspirational panel was.

Sarah: Oh, that’s so awesome!

Amanda: They said it was so good.

Sarah: I’m so glad.

Amanda: It was so, so good.

Sarah: Moderating is hard, ‘cause I want to make sure everyone talks, and I don’t want to, I don’t want to talk, but I also have to sort of link together all the questions, and the people who were on that panel were so great. It was such a good panel.

Amanda: Also, Meg Tilly’s writing name is Sara Flynn, no –

Sarah: Flynn!

Amanda: – no H on Sara.

Sarah: Carrie, what about you? What, what sessions have you found the most fun that you were hoping happen again next year?

Carrie: Okay, so, other than ours, which is, I’m sorry, always the most fun, the –

Sarah: I’m not paying anyone to say that – don’t knock over your Coke – I’m not paying anyone in this room to say –

RHG: [Laughs]

Sarah: I’m offering snacks and water; it’s all I got here.

Carrie: The, the only thing about ours is it feels so rushed. Like –

Sarah: I want an hour and a half next year.

Carrie: I want an hour and a half.

Sarah: I’m going to ask –

Carrie: I think two hours would be too long, but one hour is just too short.

RHG: Yeah.

Amanda: I don’t think any panels go two hours.

Sarah: No, I want an hour and a half.

Carrie: Hour and a half. Anyway, other than ours, which I adore, the Bollywood –

Everybody else: Mm-hmm.

Carrie: – thing was so much fun!

Sarah: What did you guys do?

Carrie: Oh, my God.

[Laughter]

Carrie: So, so – what did we do? So we saw these trailers from Bollywood movies, and then a, a male actor who was in some of the movies and different authors acted out different tropes. We had to guess what the tropes were.

RHG: Yeah.

Carrie: And there were also –

RHG: And he was super pretty.

Carrie: Oh, my gosh, he is super pretty. Very pretty. And they also had rather lavish prizes and gorgeous gift bags, and, yes, they did give out books. So, like, it was satisfying on every level. It was, like, fun, and it was social, and at the same time it was kind of informative, ‘cause I learned about a lot of authors who I did not necessarily know about, and it was really hilarious, and from a mercenary standpoint, you know, you got these incredible –

RHG: Mm-hmm.

Carrie: – beautiful things.

Sarah: And that supports my swag theory! You have a book and a bag that you’re going to use, and when someone asks you, oh, that bag is beautiful; where’d you get it? I got it at this really cool panel at RT!

Carrie: Right, yes.

RHG: Right.

Carrie: I mean, that was, and it was all, it was all, like, beautifully tied together and hilarious, and then the, the, the last trailer, they didn’t get the subtitles turned on, and then at the end they’re like, should we do it again with the subtitles turned on? The whole audience was like, no, we got it. Right? Like, we got the entire plot in Hindi. We fig-, you know, we, we’re on it now. Like, by then you kind of just knew how this works, and it was great.

RHG: Also, we’re going to add some Bollywood movies to our movie matinee list.

Sarah: I love this plan. Yes.

Elyse: Right.

RHG: There was at least a couple from the panel we wanted to do, but yeah.

Carrie: Yes. We –

Elyse: I learned that I need two hundred percent more shirtless Ranveer Singh in my life. This was a thing I didn’t know about. We watched, I don’t know what movie it was, but he was lying shirtless on the edge of a balcony. He was smoking both literally and figuratively.

[Laughter]

Elyse: We, we briefly discussed that someone is paid to oil his naked torso. Right, like that’s someone’s job. Get over there and oil that torso! And Sonali Dev is hilarious. She is so funny. She actually said in the, the panel, my characters fuck with their hearts.

[Laughter]

Carrie: Aw!

Amanda: So, I have a great cover model story, and I feel like I –

Sarah: No one wants to hear those!

Amanda: – I don’t usually have those, ‘cause I don’t interact with a lot of the cover models. It’s not –

RHG: No. Remember Charles?

Amanda: Yeah, I do remember Charles.

[Laughter]

Amanda: I was drunk, though, so please excuse me.

Elyse: Can I touch your beard, Charles?

Amanda: He was very nice, and the beard was very soft. Elyse and I took a photo – Carrie as well – with these two cover models at an event. I don’t – oh, it was Petticoats & Pistols.

Someone: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: They were so tall and so nice, and we’re all on the shorter side.

Sarah: The shorter side.

Amanda: Yeah, Carrie, Elyse, and I, so it was lovely, and they were so nice, and I posted it on Instagram, and an author, Edie Harris, mentioned it. She’s like, I think one of them is on my next cover. She wasn’t sure, though, so I looked, and it looked like him, and I saw him at the, like, 1920s event last night, and I asked. I was like, if I showed you a cover, would you be able to tell me if that’s you or not, and surprisingly, he’s like, I don’t know. He’s like, most of the time, no one gives us a copy of the cover. Like, if we’re friends with the authors, they’ll let us know, but it’s mainly just us stumbling across the covers, and we’re like, oh, that’s me. I was like, well, I’m going to show you the cover, and you can tell me if that’s you or not. And I showed him and he was looking, and he was like, yeah, that is me! He’s like, that’s my tie! He’s like, you just made my night, ‘cause I never get to see these covers!

Sarah: That’s so cool!

Amanda: And, so the pho-, so his name’s Sean Hampton, he’s 6’2”, so sweet, and –

Sarah: Is this the monk guy or the kilt guy?

Amanda: The monk guy.

Sarah: The monk guy.

Amanda: The kilt guy is 6’6”, his name, his name is Mike Foster, and Sean Hampton told me that he and Mike have a blog where they review the romance nov-, the romance novels that they’ve been on for the cover. It’s called –

Sarah: I trust you got a link.

Amanda: It’s called Cover2Cover, C-V-R, 2 as in the number, C-V-R [cvr2cvr]. We’ll put a link up, but he gave me, like, a book mark, and he’s on one side dressed as an Olympian, and Mike is on the other side, like, dirty and in a tank top, and it has their blog on it, and I’m like –

Sarah: I –

Amanda: – this is amazing.

Sarah: I can’t close my mouth right now, I’m so excited!

Amanda: I know! He was so nice!

[Laughter]

Elyse: Carrie needs to tell the story about, though –

Carrie: I’ve got to tell a story. So, I don’t know if this is fair or unfair, but at previous RTs I didn’t interact with cover models at all, and I kind of avoided events they were at because I felt kind of like, it felt a little skeevy sometimes. Like, I’m kind of the prude of the group, and I’m not comfortable with, like, that kind of, the kind of objectification that sometimes occurs, so I was like, okay, but this time it’s been, like, really chill and friendly and awesome, and I’ve, it’s been great. So I go to, I, I go to take my picture with the two super tall cover models, and what our listeners need to know is that Elyse and Amanda are pretty petite, but I am four foot nine. There is petite, and there is me. I’m teeny-tiny, and I go up, and this is like, I think people think, oh, when you interact with the cover models it’s going to be, like, all sexy? This was the least sexy moment of my life. I go hopping up, and I go, I’m the shortest person you’ll see here! I’m four foot nine! And the kilted dude goes, oh, my grandmother was four foot nine! [Laughs]

Sarah: Oh, no!

Everyone else: Ohhh!

Sarah: And in the picture, like, you barely come up past his massive kilt belt buckle.

Carrie: I don’t think I do come up past his belt buckle. Somebody –

Sarah: We have pictures of this, right?

Carrie: – somebody on Facebook –

RHG: Yeah.

Carrie: – said I looked pocket-size. Like, like a little pocket-size Carrie.

Sarah: Hey, there’s a, there’s a term from a couple decades ago called a pocket goddess? Like, a petite, beautiful – you could be their pocket goddess.

Carrie: Ooh! Pocket goddess!

Elyse: I feel like if Carrie, Amanda, and I sat on each other’s shoulders inside a trench coat, we still would not be as tall as Mike.

[Laughter]

Sarah: If you would pitch, if you were going to pitch a panel for next year, either to be in or be on, what would you, what would you like to see or do, totally your choice? You can be onstage or in the audience.

RHG: There, there’s actually a plot afoot with me and Joanna Shupe and Jennifer Hallock and Alyssa Cole, and we’re talking about doing a panel on writing history that’s not sexy and fluffy and fun.

Sarah: So writing the more difficult, angsty, complicated, and painful parts of history?

RHG: Right, or recognizing that, yes, even in your fluffy Regencies, where do you think those dukes were getting their money?

Amanda: My career goal is I would love to do more speaking things? So I’d love to do a panel on Instagram. I really love that medium; I’m always looking for more ways to interact with it. I, for, like, the cocktails posts that I do, I built a photo box out of cardboard and paper just to make it look prettier, and I regularly stalk the Michael’s bargain bins for cute little stickers to use in photos, so I would love to both attend and be on a panel for that. That sounds awesome. In terms of a panel I want to see, I want to see, I know they do BDSM panels here about, like, what’s new in BDSM romance, but I would like one totally dedicated to Domme heroines or, like, switch or submissive heroes, like, some bisexual –

Someone: Dumb or Domme?

RHG: I heard dumb.

[Laughter]

Amanda: Oh, Domme.

Sarah: Amanda liked –

[Laughter]

Amanda: I want a good dumb heroine. My voice is going, sorry!

Carrie: I was so confused!

Amanda: No, I know! Hopefully context clues with BDSM, people will understand. So, bisexual heroes –

Sarah: She wants them so stupid they’re dead.

Amanda: I know. That would be amazing, and I’ve gotten some great recommendations for those too while I’ve been here, like, talking to the right people, so.

Sarah: Someone told you about Natural Law by Joey Hill, right?

Amanda: No?

Sarah: That’s an older one. That was one of the first BDSM novels that I read. The hero is an undercover cop who goes undercover in a club where there’s been a string of suspicious deaths outside and inside the club, and he’s trying to figure out what’s happening. And he, he is a Dom, but he goes undercover as a sub.

Amanda: Dumb?

Sarah: Dom.

Amanda: Dumb.

Sarah: He’s big and stupid.

[Laughter]

Sarah: He’s real dumb. He’s a real dumb Dom. That’s going to be a series real soon. And he goes undercover as a submissive, and the female is also, she’s a Domme over him. There’s this awesome twist in the middle. It’s really very cool.

Amanda: Well, a lot of the Do- –

Sarah: The end is not as strong, but the story itself is hot!

Amanda: A lot of the Domme heroines that I read –

Sarah: Dumb?

Amanda: – by the end of the book, they’re not Dommes anymore.

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: They’re switches, and I was like, that’s not what I want. While I’ve been here, the, Kristen Ashley’s new series, I believe it’s, The Deep End is the first one –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – the heroine is a Domme, and the hero’s described as an alpha submissive, so outside of the bedroom he’s an alpha hero, but inside of the bedroom he’s a submissive, and –

Sarah: That’s all your catnip!

Amanda: I know! And the Domme heroine gets, like, she likes nurture, being able to nurture the hero and stuff like that, so I’m, I bought it, ‘cause I, I didn’t get it, an ARC of it, as much as I prayed and sacrificed and did things under a full moon that I don’t want to talk about.

[Laughter]

Sarah: Were they dumb or Domme?

Amanda: Domme!

[Laughter]

Amanda: I couldn’t get, like, a copy, and there, there have been no copies floating around here, and I’m leaving before the signing, so I bought it, and it will be waiting for me on my doorstep when I get back to Boston on Saturday.

Sarah: Nice! Elyse?

Elyse: I don’t know what I would do for a panel. I, I think it would be really cool to just get a –

Amanda: What would you do for a Klondike bar, though?

Elyse: What would I do for a Klon- –

[Laughter]

Amanda: It took a minute for her –

Elyse: God, for a minute I’m like, what the fuck are you talking about? No, I don’t know. I was really happy with the panels this year. There was a Gothic panel, and then you went to the trends panel where they talked about Gothic romance maybe making a resurgence, and that would be really amazing.

Sarah: That was so cool. There are so many retellings of Rebecca in different periods of time coming out soon.

Elyse: How did I not – so, if you look at the cover for Cocoa Beach by Beatriz Williams, it’s like this sunny, bright, beautiful cover with this woman in a swimsuit, and it’s a fucking retelling of Rebecca. How did I not know this? I one-click bought that so hard. I pre-ordered so many books here. Zero self control. I want more Gothic! I want Crimson Peak with Tom Hiddleston, but with a happy ending and nothing happens to the dog.

Carrie: So I would also like more Gothic, but one of the things I think would be really cool would be to look at genre ma-, mix, mashups. Like, it occurred to me last night at, like, four in the morning – I don’t know why – that Psycho, the movie Psycho, is a war between Gothic and noir. So Norman Bates is all Gothic. From Norman Bates’ point of view, he lives in a creepy-ass house on the top of a creepy-ass hill with creepy-ass weather, and he literally – in his mind – keeps a crazy lady locked in the attic, and sometimes she escapes and prowls around the house and kills people, right? On the other hand –

Sarah: Huh.

Carrie: – we’ve got, the encounter with the noir, you’ve got the ice blonde with the murky past and the suitcase full of stolen money. So Norman Bates is living a Gothic life, but he’s in a noir plot. And that, obviously, is not a romance, but!

Sarah: Wow, what, what else happens when you take Norco?

Carrie: Oh, oh, so many things. So –

[Laughter]

Carrie: I don’t know. But, but, yeah! Or, or, like, somebody mentioned The Circle as being an unusual Gothic movie in that it’s sort of this techno-thriller, but it has a lot of really Gothic elements, which had not occurred to me at all, but based on the trailers, now I’m like, well, yeah! You’ve got this vulnerable young woman who wears light colors a lot who’s sort of wandering around these spooky corridors unfolding a mystery. It’s, it doesn’t have the Gothic look with her big wide eyes. It has kind of a Gothic plot. If you were to switch out a lot of the nouns you would find yourself with a very Gothic-type plot. So I find that kind of stuff really interesting, so I would like to either incorporate that more into a Gothic panel or have a whole separate thing on mixing up genres and subverting tropes. I think that’d be a lot of fun.

Sarah: So what John Charles has said about Gothics was that they’re scheduled, in his opinion, to become a new trend, not only because of the number of retellings of Rebecca, but because if you think about the books that have been huge hits in the past two years, they’re all involving psychological thriller plotlines with extremely unreliable heroine narrators.

Elyse: Told from the first person, there’s a lot of gaslighting.

Sarah: Yep. And so the female psychological thriller is a thing that is really popular. If you add that to the Gothic where you have the possible victimization, the, the very old tropes of the innocent heroine and the menacing house and the menacing guy and what’s happening, and then you add the psychological, unreliable narrator and the idea that a psychological trick is being played on you as the reader, those two would be very good together. They are the chocolate and, and peanut butter.

Elyse: I’m down for this.

Sarah: You just want all of them to be written immediately, right?

Elyse: I want them now.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Elyse: Right now.

Sarah: So what else would you guys like to talk about in terms of RT? Is there anything else you want to tell people about?

Elyse: So, just, like, consumer warning, I don’t have a bathtub at home, we have a steam shower, and someone gave us really cool green bath bombs to, as swag, so last night I took a bath, and when you put all the bath bombs in the one bath, you kind of turn a greenish color.

[Laughter]

Sarah: So how easy is it being green?

Elyse: Well, it washed off right away, so we were okay, but I smelled very heathery.

Sarah: Like a person named Heather?

Elyse: No, the heath-, heather was the scent of the – like I thought –

Sarah: How many bath bombs did you put in the –

Elyse: Four!

[Laughter]

Amanda: Well, that’s your problem!

Elyse: I would like –

Sarah: Also, bath bombs are great swag. That’s a great –

RHG: Yeah.

Carrie: That is great swag.

Sarah: Who gave those out?

Elyse: It was at one of the historical panels, but –

Sarah: That’s brilliant.

Elyse: – I, I mean, I would like to point out, I was, like, two rum and Cokes and a glass of wine into this process –

[Laughter]

Elyse: – and I seriously, like, I came out of this thing smelling like after you get your dog groomed and they put the perfume on it? Like, I thought Carrie was going to come in here and be like, have you been grooming a Schnauzer while I’ve been away?

We got the announcement that the tornado warning was over, but we never got the announcement –

Sarah: At two in the morning.

Elyse: – that there was a tornado warning.

Amanda: Well, I mean the tornado warning is just like a state of being, so –

Someone: [Laughs]

Sarah: Tornado watch means it’s there.

Amanda: – you, you exist always in a tornado warning –

[Laughter]

RHG: No, it’s the other way around.

Amanda: – and they let you know when it, when you’re okay.

Elyse: No, that’s, that’s the watch.

Sarah: I was out last night for dinner and –

Elyse: You were out at two in the morning?

Sarah: No, no, no, that was, there were multiple tornado warnings.

Elyse: Oh, okay.

Amanda: This was, like, a third dinner at 2 a.m.

Sarah: Yeah, at, at a conference, we eat like hobbits.

[Laughter]

Sarah: I got a coffee and a breakfast and an elevenses and a lunch, and at two o’clock I’m going to get a drink, and then I get another drink, and then I got appetizers, and then I got dinner, and then I got second dinner, and I got third dinner, and then I just roll into bed! So, first of all, I have to tell you, on the way back from dinner there was a tornado watch, and I – warning. There was not an actual tornado on the ground to my knowledge, and I could hear the sirens, and I’d never heard that before, and it, and I was in –

RHG: You missed the sirens?

Sarah: I was, it was freaking me out. I was in Decatur. I was a little outside of Atlanta, but it was freaky. I’d never heard that before? And then at two in the morning there was an, an automated computer loudspeaker announcement: The warning is now over. You may return to your rooms. And I was like, I wasn’t anywhere else but in my room. Where was I supposed to have been? And then –

Amanda: In a bathtub!

RHG: [Laughs]

Amanda: That’s what you’re supposed to do!

Sarah: You’re supposed to go get in the bathtub?

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: Interior wall, bathtub.

RHG: Yeah.

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: Okay. How many bath bombs go in the tub before the tornado hits?

[Laughter]

Elyse: Four.

Amanda: Every bath bomb you have, because you might not make it out, so –

Elyse: You’re trying to, but you have to –

Amanda: – just use it.

Elyse: – time it correctly, because you’re going to try and counterbalance the pressure system.

Someone: This is –

[Laughter]

Sarah: Okay, so I’ve told you all I have the disease, right, where I talk about somebody and they’re behind me?

Elyse and RHG: Yes.

Sarah: I could talk about somebody from second grade; they’ll knock on the door. So I’m at dinner last night, and as often happens, I tell the, we talk to the waitress about why we’re here, why we’re in town, and she’s like, oh, I love romance novels! And I’m like, well, are you aware that on Saturday there’s a massive book signing? And she’s like, I love Kristen Ashley! Is Kristen Ashley going to be there? I’m like, Kristen Ashley is here, and she’s like – [gasps] – I’m bringing my mom, and we are, we are coming, and I’m like, this is great! So we give her a list of book recommendations. Now we had happened to notice during dinner that Charlaine Harris was at the next table, and they had gone, and the other parties had gone, and we were having dessert, and this woman was like, I love Charlaine Harris, and I’m like, you know she was right there, and she was like, WHAT?! And then she goes in the kitchen, and I hear her scream at everyone in the kitchen –

[Laughter]

Sarah: – Y’ALL, THAT WAS CHARLAINE HARRIS! So I am, this morning, I am, this morning, telling somebody from, a group of people from Grand Central over breakfast about this, and I’m like, this woman walked in the kitchen and started screaming about Charlaine Harris being there, and the woman taps me. You know Charlaine Harris is sitting behind you right now. This happened to me twice! Twice in a row, Charlaine Harris is behind –

Amanda: She’s in your orbit!

Sarah: She’s, she’s my Mercury, and she knows I’m talking about her. So then this woman is – I had to ask where the bathroom was, and she’s like, let me walk you over there, so we’re walking over there and telling me about all the books she read. She loved Charlaine Harris. We recommended Kresley Cole, Shelly Laurenston, Nalini Singh. Like, we gave her a very substantial list, and she’s like, do you know that there was a book I once read, and I couldn’t remember the title or the author, and I was afraid –

Amanda: Come sit by me!

Sarah: I was like, I can help you very quickly. She’s like, nononono, I found it, but I was afraid to tell booksellers what book I was looking for. We’ve got a lot of used book stores, and I could not tell anybody about this book because the men had hymens, and they were virgins, and they had barbed penises, and I’m like, oh, my God –

Amanda: We know this, but we’ve had this on the site before; we’ve discussed it.

Sarah: And I’m like, Dara Joy? And she’s like, yes! I love Dara Joy!

[Laughter]

RHG: Ohhh!

Sarah: And I was like, I have not heard someone say the words Dara Joy to me in, like, five years. Like, she was one of the earliest to do the super-crazy, out-there, erotic paranormals, and she was like, I was afraid to tell booksellers that I was looking for this book with barbed penises and hymens, and she’s like, that book gave me life, and I finally found it in a used bookstore, and I’m like, you are so our people, it’s not even funny.

Amanda: I lost my house keys while I’ve been here. That was a fun time. I didn’t even know they were lost!

Elyse: But Christina Lauren found them!

Amanda: Yeah, I got a tweet that’s like, we have your keys, and we’re holding them for ransom. I was like, I didn’t even know they weren’t in my purse anymore!

Sarah: [Laughs]

RHG: Do they have, like, your name on them?

Amanda: No! No, I, I went to their meet-and-greet earlier and I left, and their publicist knows that I live in Boston and I have a Harvard Book Store keychain –

RHG: Ah.

Amanda: – and I’ve got a, you know, Florida State University keychain on there. They were like, I know Amanda’s from Florida; I know she now lives in Boston. These are her keys.

RHG: [Laughs]

Elyse: Plot twist –

RHG: That story –

Elyse: Plot twist: what if one of the authors, like, could touch objects and, like, psychically intuit things, like she’s got a paranormal power. She’s like, these are Amanda’s keys.

Amanda: That would be amazing! Someone write that book!

Elyse: But just about finding lost keys.

Amanda: Yeah, that’s all she does. She doesn’t, like, use it to solve crime, just –

Elyse: No, just keys.

Amanda: – finding lost keys, glasses, maybe that sock that’s been missing for a while from your drawer.

[music]

Sarah: And that is all for this week’s episode. I want to thank Amanda, Carrie, Elyse, and Redheadedgirl for hanging out with me in my room. Recording this episode was an onsite test of all of the podcast equipment for the live show, which I record later that same day. So you’re going to hear this one, and then next week I have an interview with some Swedish podcasters from Romance Podden. Then I’m going to be editing the live show, which is really, really, really fun, and I cannot wait to share it with you. It’s going to be so exciting! But they helped me test all the equipment and all the cables and all the things, so thank you, guys. I really, really appreciate it!

I also want to thank everyone who supported the show and has supported the show and continues to do so on Patreon, patreon.com/SmartBitches. If you would like to help the show out, for as little as a dollar a month, you are making an enormous difference in my ability to upgrade things and also learn newer, better, more gooder skills, so thank you for being a supporter of the show, and if you’ve had a look and you’ve shared the link, that’s amazing. Thank you! I am very, very grateful.

I got more thanks! ‘Cause I should just thank everybody, right? Yeah, that’s good! Gratitude’s nice! Some people write all, write down all their gratitude. I’m just going to put it in a podcast. Actually, that would be kind of a cool idea, a gratitude podcast where you just sort of go around and be like, what are you thankful for? Not just at Thanksgiving, outside of turkey, what are you thankful for? Lots of ideas. Not enough time. Anyway.

Our music is from Sassy Outwater. Thank you, Sassy Outwater! She produced it or connected to most of these albums that I feature, and I love having original different music in every episode, ‘cause it saves me from having to make the decision of picking just one song. I get to have all the songs! This is Caravan Palace. This is from their double album, which contains both their self-titled album, Caravan Palace, and Panic. A lot of the songs have some vocals, so I don’t feature them as the, the bed. Did you know that’s what that’s called? I hope I’m right about this. The music that plays underneath someone speaking I believe is called the bed. So I’m not going to use music with a vocal as the bed because it can make the narration, or my talky part, a little bit more difficult to understand, but Caravan Palace is so great, and I’m really excited that I get to feature them, so thank you, Sassy! You can find Caravan Palace on their website, caravanpalace.com, and on Facebook. I don’t think they’re on MySpace. Some of the artists I feature are on MySpace, and it still gives me great joy. Somebody’s going to be on Friendster, and my day will be made, totally made!

If you’re looking for any of the pictures we took or some of the books we talked about, please have a happy journey over to smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast, because I can say the name of my site really quickly, and that’s where all the podcast information is, so if you want show notes or the transcript, ‘cause the transcript’s totally rad and it’s created by garlicknitter, who’s listening to this right now – hi, garlicknitter! [gk: Hi, Sarah! Hi, SPTB fans!] – you could have a look at each transcript or read or listen or find books. I mean, we’ve got lots of things for you to do. So if you’re looking for more information, smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast!

Maybe that’s all. I think that’s all I’ve got. I have a long list. I think I hit everything on the list. Hmm. All right, well, next week we’ll be back with Romance Podden, Swedish romance podcasters, more discussion about romance, because that’s kind of how we roll.

In the meantime, on behalf of everyone here, including Orville and Wilbur, who are fighting over a box – gosh! – we wish you the very best of reading. Have an excellent weekend!

[beautiful music]