I don’t remember when I met Petra Mayer in person for the first time. It was probably a really large convention or other gathering of The Book People in Media. I’ve met her dozens of times since then. But I do remember the first time I heard her voice.
When Beyond Heaving Bosoms was published in 2009, publishing was a different, weirder place, and promotion of titles was shifting. We’d received news via our agent that publisher-driven media placement with local outlets would only be happening if the author(s) were going on a publisher-supported book tour, which we weren’t. Our publicist had no resources for our book, but once stayed after work to print color post cards for the book, then snuck them uptown to me at my then-job in Manhattan. Like I said, it was weird.
So when we received an invitation to be on NPR’s Weekend All Things Considered, I was confused.
It was Petra.
She was the producer and wanted to do a segment on romance and on the Bosoms. I remember it was during Passover, so they found an NPR member station near my in-laws’ home in Connecticut for me to record from. I was, for the first time, sitting in one of those radio studios where it was so quiet I could hear my own blood pressure. The walls were foam-lined, like I had been packed in a box for a very long shipment somewhere. And then there were voices in my ears.
It was Petra. She was so funny, and engaged, and very excited to have us on the show. I learned then that the producers who create and arrange segments for media outlets are often the most interesting, the most energetic, and the most fabulous people. They are the behind-the-scenes geniuses who put people together to talk about a topic, and support that conversation before, during, and after, to make it really interesting. Petra was exactly that, and I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was like that with everything and everyone she loved.
Our segment aired April 11, 2009, where we were challenged to convince the host, Rebecca Roberts, to read a romance. There were a few instances during the recording of, “I’ve never read one of those books,” and after we were done, Petra joined our conversation to insist that Rebecca now absolutely had to read one, and she was going to make sure it happened.
We recommended Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie, and some weeks later I received an email from Rebecca saying, essentially, that was delightful, it was like a perfect chocolate donut, what other romances like that one do you recommend?
I didn’t expect to hear from Petra again, but the thing about Petra was that once she recognized that you were on a similar wavelength, that you liked a thing in common, or that you shared a deepest, nerdy love for something, well, you heard from her again.
Petra was an editor at NPR Books, and she died suddenly on Saturday, November 13, at 46. I found out Saturday night via Twitter, and I have been crying off and on since then. There have been many people who have talked about how wonderful she was. Glen Weldon called her “the best…species of nerd” who loved things and wanted you to love those things as much as she did. She was warm and welcoming and smart and silly and intelligent and creative and everything.
And whoo, howdy, was she determined. She wanted genre fiction coverage at NPR. And there was.
The Summer of Love at NPR in 2015? That was Petra. (She is also the reason Warrior’s Woman is on the list; each judge got a pick and she loved that book in all its over-the-top glory. If there is a romance that embodies Petra, it might be that one: completely, unabashedly unique, hilarious, and unmistakably itself.)
The Books Concierge at the end of the year? That was also a Petra-involved project. She asked me to write a few of the entries and the absolute thrill of being asked to contribute is not measurable by current methods at this time.
Petra was also a masterful editor. Each time I wrote about romance for NPR, her editing made my writing immeasurably better. Most of the time, I’m editing myself. I’ve been edited by other people a handful of times. I very clearly remember receiving her comments and edits on my essay about Judith McNaught, Jude Deveraux, and Julie Garwood, and thinking, Oooooh, wow. She’s right. That’s SO much better.
You may have heard Petra talking about books on NPR radio programs and podcasts, and specifically about romance on the Pop Culture Happy Hour Romance Special. She moderated probably thousands of conference panels, and this may seem like a silly thing to praise someone for, but it’s not at all: she was a fucking fantastic moderator and panelist. Moderating a panel is not easy. It’s not a simple thing to make a conversation happen in front of people, and she was brilliant at it.
She was brilliant at talking about books, too, like it was her job. She was a guest on my podcast to talk about how books are selected for coverage and about the Summer of Romance. She yelled about summer reading in July, and recently did a segment on Here & Now about cozy fall reading – scroll to the end to meet Godfrey.
When I moved to Maryland almost six years ago, she was the first person to contact me and invite me out to dinner. It’s astonishing to me that I moved from email friend to in-person friend, but that was Petra. I think I’d lived here for less than a month when we met; it was the night before a massive snowstorm and we were two of maybe eight people in the restaurant.
Since then, we had meals together regularly, and when I say she was the perfect brunch friend, it’s not a light compliment. A brunch friend is the person for whom I will without hesitation put on real pants, shoes, and a whole bra, and leave the house before I’ve had coffee. I loved meeting Petra for brunch. It was like we had a conversation that we’d carry for hours, then pause, then pick up the next time when there was coffee and a basket of pastries. We’d yell at each other about books, and make recommendations, and talk about upcoming releases and how many more titles she wanted to cover on NPR. Any conversation resulted in a (very) long note on my phone of titles, shows, and ideas I wanted to remember.
Every time we met it would be like that: hug, sit down, eat, nonstop talking about books and stories and everything, pause, then press record again a few months later like we’d never left that first table.
The thing I will miss most of all is the knowledge that I’d see her again. The last pause was a full stop, and I am heartbroken. And as more people share their memories of Petra, I realize just how many literal thousands of people Petra connected. How many conversations and mountainous TBRs started through her ability to love stories so much that she instinctively knew who to connect with whom to talk more. She was generous with her time and her energy, her affection for books and for connecting people with stories they’d love.
I have met so many behind-the-scenes people through running this site, the people you don’t see when a book releases, who have box cutters and editing precision, production smarts and coordination prowess. These are the people who have an idea that changes someone’s life in an immediate, lasting way, who love the things and the people they love so loudly, and with so much ferocity, that the silence they leave behind makes for terrible room tone. I am going to miss Petra so much.
Oh Sarah. What a beautiful tribute and I’m so sorry for your loss.
@SBSarah- I am so sorry for the loss of your friend! My deepest condolences to you.
Petra’s voice came across the radio as such an incredible ally to writers and readers. She always emoted the most unabashed enthusiasm for the things she loved. You could hear it in her reporting and it made you feel that whatever you loved was valid, regardless of if it was what anyone else loved and for whatever reason was right to you. I was so sad to hear about her death yesterday. NPR and arts journalism in general really lost a beautiful and unique voice. As a listener and fellow reader she will be missed.
I just saw her obit at NPR this morning. Such a tragic loss—and so young. My condolences for the loss of a dear friend.
My deepest condolences!
I saw a notice on the news this morning. This was a lovely tribute to your friend. I’m so sorry for your loss.
May her memory be a blessing: no doubt about that. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My condolences to you on the loss of a dear friend. I’m so sad to hear this news. I only knew her through her wonderful work at NPR – it was always fun when she was on Pop Culture Happy Hour and every year I use the NPR book concierge to discover any great books that I might have missed. She was a terrific arts journalists and wonderful book person, someone who could help you discover that perfect book that you didn’t even know you needed. I agree with Emily C. above – we have lost a beautiful and unique voice at NPR.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Because the DMV is a small place in many ways, she was a friend of friend, and your words, the way you describe her, have the same emotion and feeling as when my other friend speaks about her. It’s rare to find someone who shines that way for multiple people. Her memory most certainly will be a blessing.
I was so sad when I saw this news Saturday night. Even though I never met her, she seemed exactly like someone who would be a “brunch friend” (which is a wonderful description). She had such joie de vivre, and I was always delighted when she popped up on PCHH or any other NPR show because I knew she’d have ideas and recommendations that would be thought-provoking and entertaining. I will miss hearing her voice and reading her essays.
Beautiful tribute, Sarah. She truly was one of a kind and special beyond words. Here’s the link to the NPR obit for any interested. I suspect she’s out there somewhere, educating people on books.
https://www.npr.org/2021/11/13/1055585327/npr-books-editor-petra-mayer-has-died
I’m so sorry you lost your friend, and what a lovely tribute you’ve written for her. I did not know her, but the outpouring of love and grief show how much her loss will be felt. She sounds like a wonderful person.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Although I didn’t know her personally, I’d listened to her many times on NPR and she was always wonderful.
Oh wow this one hit me hard. I am so very sorry for your loss, Sarah. I remember first hearing her on Pop Culture Happy Hour and she recommended the His Fair Assassin trilogy by Robin La Fevers so convincingly that I immediately bought the first book (I adored it and the whole trilogy, which I very highly recommend as well as the related duology). She was just so excited about books in a way that was infectious and I can absolutely see how she would be an awesome brunch friend. I am so sad that such a special person is no longer with us.
I only heard her on NPR, and not very often, but even so, I remembered the sound of her voice. More importantly, I’ve heard the Pop Culture Happy Hour episode on romance novels, and I remember the feeling you describe of having a fun great conversation.
I’m so sorry to hear this. For you Sarah for the loss of a friend, and all of us for losing such a wonderful person. I remember listening to you two on the radio and thinking, SO glad someone is talking about romance books in public! I saw her once in person at a book discussion with Eloisa James, Beverly Jenkins, Lisa Kleypas and Mia Sosa where she was the moderator. She was so great and you could tell she loved books and literature and talking about books and to authors, and her enthusiasm was super infectious. She will be missed.
I am so sorry for your loss. She really does sound like the best kind of nerd; I love people who are unabashedly enthusiastic about what they love. She always sounded so smart and so engaged — I’m happy that she was a lovely person IRL and I’m so sad that she is gone.
May her memory be a blessing.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend. Sending love to her many loved ones.
This is so very sad. I cherish my friends where we can just pick up with the comfort and affection, even after not being together for a while. Petra sounds like someone who has left a beautiful legacy.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. I enjoyed listening to Petra when she was on PCHH and knew I’d hear about some fantastic book that I absolutely must pick up and read. A bright light gone far too soon.
Oh Sarah, the world is a bit less bright without Petra’s presence, and for those who, like you, knew her personally, I’m sure the pain is real and deep. May your memories of her provide some light in the darkness, and may you take comfort in reading books she recommended. These are clearly not as good as seeing your brunch friend across a cup of tea and a basket of croissants, but in times like these we take our comfort where we can.
That is a beautiful eulogy, what a treat she must have been! I’m sorry for your loss.
How very sad to lose such a good person and friend, @SB Sarah. My sympathies to you and all who loved her.
I had no idea she passed away. I listen to PCHH but have fallen behind the last few weeks. I’m so sad; she was one of my favorites in that crew mostly because she unapologetically loved romance books and sharing her geeky interests with others.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend–a wonderful friend to those in the book world.
Sending much love to you. She sounds absolutely amazing.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was a wonderful friend and a lovely person.
I am so sorry. She sounds like she was lovely, and this is a beautiful tribute.