NB: Welcome to Flashback Friday! (Yes, we know it’s Saturday, but we can make our own rules!) For the holidays, we thought you’d all like to revisit this bonkers review of Blitzen’s Fated Mate. This review was originally published December 12, 2016. Happy holidays and may your celebrating being joyous! I swear to God, Amazon is fucking with me. I mean, maybe not. To be fair, I did some Cyber Monday shopping while swigging cold medicine … Continue reading Blitzen’s Fated Mate by RE Butler →
First of all, you’re welcome. Claimed by The Machine is a sci-fi erotic novella about some aliens who discover human beings, go to a brothel, and have buttsecks. They are not actually machines, but rather they are constructed out of organic material and I know this because machines don’t produce that volume of semen. So anyway, this book takes place in the distant future. Some aliens, who apparently are non corporeal and function like a hive … Continue reading Claimed by The Machine by Emily Tilton →
Sometimes I can only take so much crazysauce and wtfery before I have to tap out. I know, I know, you good folks rely on me to read this shit so you don’t have to, but even I have my limits. I DNF’d Hunt the Dawn, but I did get far enough to share some prime F+ moments with you. Hunt the Dawn is a romantic suspense novel featuring Lathaniel (yes, yes, that is his actual … Continue reading Hunt the Dawn by Abbie Roads →
There are friends who will help you move (I have those) and friends who will help you move bodies (I can neither confirm nor deny if I have any of those) (I do), and then there are friend who say “I found this book and I think it’s gonna make you bleed from your eyeballs, you need to read it!” I have the best friends. So this is a truly terrible shifter book. What I’m … Continue reading Werehipsters by Stikki Minaj →
Many of us have heard tell of the The Sheik, the 1919 “romantic” adventure novel written by E.M. Hull. It s one of the early depictions of a rapist alpha-hole hero, a strong woman tamed by the dick of her man, and a super racist, colonialist plot. Okay, it’s not an early depiction of that last part, you can find super racist colonialist plots throughout much of the Western Literature Canon, but three things make a good … Continue reading The Sheik Retold by Victoria Vane and E.M. Hull →
Why do I do this to myself? Do I need to go seek out a dom to process my clearly masochistic tendencies? This is the hotly anticipated Fifty Shades from Christian’s Perspective that I’m 100% certain is not EL James Single White Female-ing at Stephenie Meyer, down to the “stolen copy.” Now, I haven’t made any secret about my disgust for the 50 Shades books and the abusive and stalking behavior of one Christian Grey, … Continue reading Grey by EL James →
I have no idea what possessed me to read Someone to Cuttle. I’m very fond of cuttlefish, but in a purely platonic way. And I didn’t expect much from this cover or from a price of $2.99 for “12 pages (estimated).” That cover is possibly the worst cover I’ve ever seen. But I just had to know. I had to go there. And now you don’t have to, thanks to the spoilers I am about … Continue reading Someone to Cuttle by Luna Loupe →
So apparently, in addition to being the Knitter in Residence here at SBTB, I am also the the aquatic romance reviewer. When Amanda sent me a book about a mermaid stripper, you know I had to read that, right? It’s as crazy-sauce as I could have hoped. The book is about Aazuria, a mermaid princess who lived in an undersea ice palace and who is now destitute after her murdering her dad. To be fair, her … Continue reading Drowning Mermaids by Nadia Scrieva →
So I started reading this because someone who shall remain nameless but who’s name rhymes with D-Ellie posted the original cover art, which involves titty-fucking basically and I had to read it. What better way to get back into the Old School Groove than to read me some crazysauce Lindsey? Spoiler: there’s no actual titty-fucking in this book. So we start with the introduction of Slade Holt, who’s been living with the Apache since his … Continue reading Tender is the Storm by Johanna Lindsey →
