Outlander 2.12: “The Hail Mary”

The title card is a map of Culloden Moor, and the toys (action figures?) that army dudes play with when planning out their wars.

Thing Two, with his jaunty eyepatch rides with Claire and Jamie and the rest into a camp. Fergus, helping the audience along, asks where they are. Just outside Inverness, Claire tells him. Fergus asks if it’s good, and Murtagh tells him that they’ll be able to rest. Fergus says that Murtagh needs some sleep, and as they ride through, Fergus falls asleep against Murtagh’s back.

Claire voiceovers that it was hard to believe that this rag tag crew were the same brave Highlanders that had won at Prestonpans and Falkirk. Claire looks around at the broken and demoralized army – no food, no supplies, and the agony of retreat.

Ross (or Kincaid) has attached himself to Thing Two, and Thing Two ain’t having it. Ross (or Kincaid) snipes that losing his eyes hasn’t improved his disposition any. Thing Two grumbles that a rebellion that runs from a fight ain’t much of a rebellion. “Ken what Poor Angus would say?” “Same as poor Kincaid (or Ross) I expect. It’s time we turned and showed them our faces.” Thing Two grunts, but passes Ross (or Kincaid) the flask of whiskey.

Claire, Jamie, and Dougal (along with Murtagh and poor sleepy Fergus) walk into a building to settle in. Murtagh and Claire plop Fergus down at a table, while Jamie asks Dougal to make a quick patrol and find out where the enemy is. Dougal agrees, but asks that there’s food for them when they get back. Jamie asks Murtagh to go find the Prince, because a war council will be convened. Murtagh: A war council will lead us to Culloden Moor, so like… maybe that’s a bad idea? (I love that they brought him into the truth. I love it.) “The 16th of April, ye said?” Claire nods. It’s in three days.

Claire, slumped at the table – all that work, all that plotting. “How the bloody hell did we end up here?” Jamie says that it wasn’t for lack of trying, and there’s still time to try to avoid this fight. He’ll do his best to get Charles to see reason. Claire is as demoralized as anyone else, and even if they don’t get defeated at Culloden, it’ll happen somewhere else. The wheels of history have already got the Scots undone – it just hasn’t happened yet. But it will.

Jamie is going to try his best to find food for the men, and Claire needs to run into Inverness to replenish her medical supplies. They kiss goodbye and go off on their respective errands. In the apothecary shop, someone is buying ginger, chamomile, and arsenic – It’s Mary! She also needs a bottle of laudanum. Mary is considerably less cheered to Claire than one might expect. Girlfriend found more steel in her. Mary: “I assume you’ve come with the Jacobite army. Everyone seems to think there’ll be fighting soon.” Claire nods, but wants to know what Mary is even doing there – they sent her home.

Well, Alex contacted her, and she’s there with him. He got a position overseeing an estate, and they will be married. Claire: That’s wonderful! Alex also told Mary about Claire convincing him to leave her in Paris, and that’s why Mary is a bit pressed at the moment. Claire explains that she was worried about Alex not being well or having much of a chance for a new position, and she apologizes for the pain she caused. “The situation…it was complicated.”

Claire asks if Alex is alright, and Mary says that she is taking care of him, and he’ll be fine. The landlady has been advising Mary on the proper medications. Claire, along with me, seems a bit dubious about the “he’ll be fine” claim as Mary is on her second bottle of laudanum in a week, so Claire offers to come by, so she can apologize to Alex herself. Mary nods coolly, and tells Claire when they’ve taken rooms.

The war council: the Irish dude pompously proclaims that the perfect spot for a battle is mere miles from where they are – Culloden Moor! Jamie: Yeah, that’s great for the British and their tactics. We don’t have the manpower for that kind of battle. One of the other dudes is like hey, the MacDonalds will get the job done! And this nonsense is what fuels UK politics even today. Jamie: Why fight at all?

Charles has been lolling at the fire, only half listening, and Jamie asks him to go take a walkabout around the encampment, to see the state of the army for himself. They just can’t stand a full-out battle. One of the generals is like BAH DEFEATIST TALK and Jamie asks about the French Gold – there was allegedly a shipment that was sent from the Continent, and when it gets there, they can use it to buy food and weapons. Jamie suggests splitting up the army into smaller groups making it harder for the British to follow while they wait for it. Once the men are fed and rested, they’ll choose better ground.

Charles touches Jamie’s shoulder, and calls him “my most loyal companion and friend.” But Charles is not a “frightened hare” and he wants to act as a soldier. He doesn’t want to retreat anymore. He wants to fight. “The men will rest and then we shall march to Culloden.” God will provide, naturally.

Sigh.

In Inverness, Claire finds the boarding house where Mary and Alex are staying, and she can hear Alex’s tortured coughing down the hall. It’s horrible to hear. Claire walks in just as Mary is saying that she’s dissolved more arsenic in the tea, which, I am not a medical doctor, but I HAVE watched a lot of ER and House and Grey’s Anatomy, so I feel fairly certain that arsenic isn’t the way to go. Claire concurs with my medical opinion, and says that the arsenic will bring color to his cheeks, but it’s not actually HELPING. Poor Alex looks like death left to moulder, but he still has his manners. “Madame Fraser. How good it is to see you.” Mary and Claire both tell him to save his breath, and he wheezes, poor guy. Claire is going to prepare a poultice for his chest and back.

Claire goes to the fire, there’s a footstep, and Alex says, “Johnny. You remember Madame Fraser.” Claire and BlackJack stare at each other for a long, long, horrible moment. Alex continues to say that BlackJack didn’t say anything about another visit, and that he’s got no uniform on. BlackJack says that he was granted leave to see Alex, and he didn’t want to attract attention.

BlackJack touches Alex’s face, and Claire barely seems to keep from throwing up before heading for the door. Mary stops her, and says that she doesn’t know what they would have done if it weren’t for BlackJack. Alex hasn’t been able to work, and BlackJack has been paying the bills. “When do you think he’ll be able to go back to work again?” Claire gently tells her that she needs to make reparations with her family, so she’ll have someplace to go when Alex… “WHEN HE WHAT?” Claire: “He won’t be going back to work.” There’s nothing anyone can do. Mary stutters and clutches at her belly. She’s pregnant, and the Randalls know.

BlackJack comes over and tells Mary that Alex is asking for her, and looks at Claire. Claire leaves. Out on the street, BlackJack chases after her, calling first “Madame Fraser” and then “Claire!” She turns and glares, and he asks her not to take her animus on him out on his brother. Would be easier if you weren’t IN THE ROOM. “His youth and vigor are drowning in blood and phlegm. Cure him.” Claire can’t, she already told Mary. “But you can ease his pain?” He assures that he doesn’t ask for himself (which is good, because she ain’t gonna do shit for you, dude).

Claire demands military information in exchange – the location of Cumberland’s army. “You would barter over an innocent man’s suffering.” He’s impressed, in spite of it all. “I am not the woman I once was, Captain Randall.”

Smash cut to Jamie flinging some defenseless furniture, demanding to know if they’ll never be rid of this man. Claire’s not disagreeing, but is hopeful that this time it may pay off. Jamie growls (literally), “Nairn. That Cumberland’s army is encamped at Nairn?” That’s what he said. Jamie thinks furiously, and Claire adds that in two nights, there will be a celebration for Cumberland’s birthday. Everyone will be drunk. Jamie allows that this is very interesting information, if it’s true. Claire believes BlackJack – he’s too desperate to lie. Claire also wants to go tend to Alex – she owes Mary that much. Jamie: What if he dies, BlackJack will lose his shit all over you. Claire: I’ll take Murtagh.

Night, a carriage pulls up, and Thing Two wakes up and sees who’s exiting, and goes to wake up Ross (or Kincaid) and Murtagh and demands to know if either one of them can tell him what The Mackenzie is doing there. Colum is being helped, slowly, painfully in, and like Alex, pain does not diminish his manners, either. “It’s good to see familiar faces.” He looks kindly at Thing Two, and says that he was sorry to hear about Angus’ death. “I always thought when that wee bastard fell, that you would fall with him.” “So did I.” Colum nods in sympathy, then asks for a bed, and that they find Dougal and Jamie. In that order.

They find Claire as well, who gives Colum a quick once-over. He tells her that she’s wasting her time – the new healer to Castle Leoch has been looking more and more dour. Claire says it’s for good reason, and Colum says that he’s been dying for years. “It’s a wearisome process. I welcome its conclusion.” Jamie asks if that’s why he’s traveled all this way? To hurry the process along? Colum doesn’t answer, but notes that Dougal is still keeping him waiting. Jamie says that Dougal is off leading a scout. Colum smiles. “I always said you were a smart lad. Give my brother enough authority to keep him content, but not enough to allow him to grab for more.” Jamie’s like, duh.

Colum would like to speak with Claire in private, and Jamie says that he’ll be close by. Claire has a mug of something, but Colum doesn’t want it. He commends Claire on having such an advantageous marriage. Claire: You did not agree so much last season. Colum: Eh, I’m dying. I can admit my mistakes now. He would also like a favor. His pain gets “more tedious by the day.” She offers laudanum, but he wants something more final. Cait’s face is incredible as she takes this in. “Isn’t suicide a sin?” “What’s one more sin to a sinner?” He noted that Gellis Duncan gave her husband a quick death, couldn’t he have the same? Cyanide is quick but painful. “I’ll leave the details to you.” He trusts that she’ll give him a kinder death than that witch.

Colum tells Claire that Geillis’ baby lives – she wasn’t executed until after the baby was born. It was a boy, and he was given to William and Sarah Mackenzie – they didn’t have any children of their own. Claire asks if Dougal knows, and Colum says, “The boy is one more mistake my brother has to live with.” Not really an answer?

Claire goes to her medical box and give him a bottle – yellow jasmine. “It will be like drifting off to a deep sleep. For when you’re ready.” Colum gives her his deepest gratitude.

Alex coughs and coughs and coughs, while BlackJack unhelpfully tells him to breathe. Claire has put some herbs into a pipe (coltsfoot and thornapple, which I think, based on my memories of the Earth’s Children series, is a legit combo) and lights the pipe. She has a rolled up paper, and blows the smoke through the paper so Alex can inhale it, like a makeshift nebulizer. NEAT. BlackJack doesn’t want to let her treat him like this, but Mary tells him to, and it does help.

It’s so sad.

BlackJack tells Claire that he’s in pain, which she knows, and they can give him laudanum to help him sleep. BlackJack: You said you’d help him! Claire: I AM, I can make the pain better, BUT I CAN’T CURE HIM WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY. BlackJack grabs her arm, but Murtagh grabs him, and offers to help him vent frustration.

Alex calls BackJack over, and asks for a really big favor – he wants BlackJack to take care of Mary. BlackJack will, of course, and Alex is like great, I’ve sent for the minister. No, not for last rites, for their wedding. He wants BlackJack to marry Mary, so she’ll be taken care of, and the baby will have a name and place in the world. BlackJack looks at Mary, and Mary steadily looks back at him – she knew this was the plan. “I commend the well-being of those most precious to me to the one I have loved the longest.” Alex places Mary’s hand on BlackJack’s, and after a long beat, BlackJack pulls it away.

Alex pulls out his trump card – he knows what kind of a person BlackJack is. He KNOWS. “Do you think I am unaware of the density of the dark wall you have built to protect your better self from the world? But I have born witness to your tenderness. I’ve been the beneficiary of your generous soul. That inner man is the one to whom I entrust my love and my child.” BlackJack just says that he’s sorry and leaves. Claire moves to go after him, but Alex starts wheezing hideously again, and she sends Murtagh out while she does another nebulizer treatment.

In the camp, Dougal rides up and reports that the British were where BlackJack said they were. Dougal is not so amused that Jamie already had that information, but also reports that it does look like they are getting ready for a party. Dougal asks where they got this info, and Jamie tells him that Claire got it from BlackJack. Dougal’s like, well that sounds like a story. Scouts have reported seeing British officers purchasing wine and sweetmeats, and Dougal’s like FEED ME SEYMOUR. Sadly, what’s in the pot is some leaves and sticks. And Dougal needs to wait to eat, since Colum is there.

In Inverness, Murtagh is grumpily dissing Frank, saying they’ve already done way too much to save “that mythical prick.” Claire takes exception to that, and Murtagh is like yeah, let’s hand over that sweet child to the devil just because. Claire points out that if Mary isn’t saddled with BlackJack, when Alex dies – and it will be soon – she and the baby will be left penniless and alone, and that’s worse.

“Then I will marry her.” Murtagh says that she’s not the sort of woman he’d pictured himself with (not that he’s done a lot of that), and he’s hardly the type she’d go for, based on previous experience, but (and Duncan’s face is just so perfect here) “We could learn to get along.” He nods at Claire. “People do.” He’s not been a father, but he’s been a decent godfather to Jamie. Claire agrees that he’d be a wonderful godfather, and a good father, but this is war, and he could be dead tomorrow. Murtagh snorts and strides off, muttering that BlackJack could suffer the same fate. Claire agrees, but points out that as his widow, Mary would get his stuff and pension, and a family and position. That gives her and the baby something to live on, and Murtagh has… a hat. Not even two stick to rub together. Murtagh sighs, but he sees her point, to an extent.

He leads her to a door, and says this is the place. She tells him to wait outside-this will probably go better if she goes in alone. He scrunches his face slightly, not happy, and she taps his arm as she goes inside. It’s a tavern, and BlackJack is drinking and grunting and looking quite drunkenly sad. She looms over him, challenging. “He asks what kind of god would allow monsters to thrive, while goodness and beauty is allowed to descend into poverty.” “The same kind of God that would offer a chance for redemption.”

He stands and says that she needs to help persuade him to give this bullshit up. He thinks Alex should marry her, and he, BlackJack, will of course make sure she is provided for. Claire: What happens when you’re dead? He grunts. “Your curse.” April 16th, 1746. That’s the day he dies. “Merely days away.” She begins to patiently explain that as his sister-in-law Mary gets nothing, and he interrupts – what if she’s wrong? “What if the world continues as it always has? The pure of heart choking on their own blood, helped there, perhaps, by the monsters that walk among them?” Claire asks him if he’s ever harmed Alex, and he quickly answers no. “Perhaps that immunity will also extend to those he holds most dear.”

“Perhaps. Is that good enough for you?” Sometimes that’s all we get. BlackJack leans forward, and asks if Jamie never told her what he did in that room. Jamie did. He says that he knows the sound Jamie makes “at the last.” Claire has had enough of this and gets up, but he grabs her arm. “I regret none of it.” He revels in it. “Do you really want Mary in my bed?” He begs again for her to help persuade Alex to give this up. Claire says that Alex will not listen to her, but if he does not, he’ll send Alex to his grave with a broken heart. And that if he truly loves Alex, then that should be enough to stay his impulses. She leaves.

At Colum’s bedside, Dougal perfunctorily says that it grieves him to see Colum so unwell. Colum: You’re hiding it well. Dougal: Well I’m also happy that you changed your mind. Colum: Change it to what? Dougal: Um, you’re here because you’re joining the Rising, right? Restoring the King Across The Water to his throne? Colum: I’m dying, I’m not stupid.

Jamie asks what he is doing there, then? Colum has clan matters to manage before he dies. He’s declared his intention that his son, Hamish, lead the clan next. Dougal, trying very hard not to sound excited, asks who will lead until Hamish comes of age? Ned Gowan will manage Hamish’s education and clan law, and Colum has chosen a guardian – to guide the boy and lead the clan. Jamie. Not Dougal. “You chose a Fraser over a Mackenzie to lead the clan? …by rights it should be me!” growls Dougal, and Colum’s like Jamie’s our sister’s son (and he does not say, but clearly thinks, that Ellen was the most sensible of all the Mackenzie sibs), and he shares our blood. Besides, Colum is skeptical that the clan would follow Dougal, anyway. “If you were half as popular as you believe yourself to be, then there would be more men here today, in this army of yours.”

Dougal tries a different tactic: Hamish is very found of Dougal, and he barely knows Jamie. “He’s your spawn, as you are very fond of reminding me.” Colum gets that Dougal is fond of the kid, and Dougal’s like THIS IS YOUR WAY OF PUNISHING ME FOR HAVING A FUNCTIONAL DICK WHEN YOU DO NOT. Colum is like, I’m dying, I don’t have time or energy for this. I’m worried about the future of the clan. Dougal: What future would that be? You think Jamie will do anything different than me? He’s totally gonna bring the Mackenzie men to fight and die for our cause. (I am writing this on the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the Battle of the Somme, and Dougal, dude. If only you knew what was coming.)

Jamie breaks in, and says that he’s honored to be entrusted with the care of Hamish (Colum has a slight smile on his face), and that Dougal’s right – he’d use everything he has to defeat the British, and if everything he has includes the Mackenzie banner, then, well, there it is. Colum’s smile has faded a bit. “I do not doubt your fighting spirit. But I know you will not sacrifice your men needlessly. If the cause is lost, then you will put the lives of your men above all else.” Jamie does not disagree. Colum turns to Dougal and asks him to tell me that you would do the same, and mean it “in your head and your heart” and the guardianship would be his. Dougal cannot do this thing, and leaves the room.

“My poor brother. I have lived my life crippled in body, and he has lived his crippled in mind.” He doesn’t say it, but I think for most of his life (maybe not the present moment), Colum prefers his lot.

In Alex’s sick room, Mary and BlackJack are standing at the foot of the bed and in front of a minister, who is saying “…in sickness and in health…” and it’s so very sad. Alex is wheezing, and BlackJack looks at him for a long minute before agreeing to the vows. Mary does the same. The book describes them as the three most miserable people. Claire and Murtagh both agree, as witnesses, to uphold the vows of Mary and BlackJack.

Prince (I almost wrote “ponce”) Charles has been presented the idea with the surprise attack on Cumberland’s forces during his birthday party. He’s intrigued. Jamie: It’s a birthday he won’t forget! The other stuffed shirts like the idea, making “birthday and burial” jokes, but Charles doesn’t think it sounds gentlemanly. Buddy, go read Guns of August and get back to me about how war in gentlemanly. Jamie does point out that it involves a 12 mile march at night, and Charles is like “Can the men do that?” Jamie will lead one column, one of the Stuffed Shirts will lead another, and they’ll snag the British in the middle.

Charles asks his favorite stuffed shirt what he thinks, and he says the plan has merit, and will agree to it. On one condition – that Jamie and the general lead on column, and Fave Stuffed Shirt and Charles lead the other. Jamie: Uhhhhh… General: YES. This will go well. “Mark me: I shall bring my finest bottle of wine as a gift to Cumberland, and I shall present it to him when he is my prisoner.”

Dougal comes into Colum’s room to bring him a drink. Colum tells him to go away – he reeks of sour wine. Dougal admits that he has drunk rather a lot, “And yet I remain as sober as a bairn.” Dougal begins his monologue, blaming Colum for everything. “What about all the pain you put me through in this bitch of a life we’ve shared.” Dougal reminisces about how Colum was thrown from a horse when he was ten, and he was supposed to recover “You’re my big brother. Nothing hurts you…but you betrayed me, hmmm?” Because he didn’t get better. He got worse, and his limbs twisted and shrank, and “I hated you for it….I wept…and the world was never the same again. You destroyed it.” There’s a pause, and Dougal asks for a response. “Answer me. Answer me!” But there won’t be a response, not ever. Colum died, in his own way getting the last word by having none at all. Dougal puts his head down on his brother’s chest. “You leave me alone in the dark.” Everything about Colum and his illness and his life and his death is about Dougal. He really IS a narcissist.

Alex’s breath is rattling slower and slower, and then stops, his eyes on Mary. BlackJack tries to stifle his sobs, then jumps on Alex’s chest and starts punching his body – wildy, viciously. Mary flees to Claire’s arms, while Claire stares at him in horror. He leaves with one last glower at Claire, like “See? I can’t be trusted to keep her safe. See?”

Later, Jamie can’t believe that Claire entrusted that “wee slip of a girl to become his wife.” Claire: I encouraged her to become his widow. He’s scheduled to die tomorrow at Culloden. Jamie: Okay, but like, we’re doing this last ditch effort to stop it, so… Claire: Then we will fucking kill him ourselves LIKE I PROMISED YOU IN PARIS. Jamie, wryly: “Remind me not to get on your bad side, Sassenach.” She tells him to be careful, and they kiss goodbye.

In the night, the army marches in blackness. Jamie and his men are in position, but Charles and his army are nowhere to be found. Jamie opines that they should attack now anyway, since they have more of a chance now than on the Moor tomorrow. Murtagh rides up and tells them that Charles and his men got lost and they’ve turned back. Jamie still wants to attack, but the general says that with only a portion of their forces, they don’t have a chance. They’ll have the battle tomorrow. On Culloden Moor.

Fuck.

Elyse: Nothing warms my heart more than seeing Murtagh carefully hold a sleeping Fergus so he doesn’t topple off the horse. Those two are seriously adorbs.

Now that Mary stabbed a guy to death she’s apparently lost her stutter and gained a backbone. It was honestly refreshing to see her stand up to Claire. But oh poor Mary. She refuses to believe that Alex is dying.

So WTF? Is Randall supposed to be likeable? He’s a rapist sociopath. I refuse to believe he’s even genuinely capable of caring for Mary or his brother. Ugh. I mean, I love Menzies but can’t Randall just fall off a cliff and go away now? Please? Him punching Alex’s corpse was totally in character though.

Murtagh though. Oh I love him so much. “But we can learn to get along. People do.” Sniffle. I would read the shit out of a Murtagh/Mary romance BTW.

I didn’t get the whole Dougal/Collum thing. Dougal is pissed at Collum because he was sick? WTH. Or because he thinks Collum’s condition was caused by a fall?

I did find all of the medical stuff really fascinating, especially when Claire was treating Alex. The homemade nebulizer treatment was especially interesting.

RHG: Dougal is pissed because all he can see is how Colum’s condition affected HIM. Note that that whole speech was full of “me me me, oh the trials I have faced because of your failing body, and it’s your body that failed, so I am pissed at YOU because you did this to ME.” As he saw it, his life was supposed to go a specific direction, and the fact that Colum needed him to be his legs (and dick) meant that it didn’t. Me, me, me, I, I, I. It’s all about Dougal.

According to the podcast with Ron D. Moore. the attempt at a surprise attack the night before Culloden really did happen, and it failed because marching in the dark is hard, and that’s why people didn’t try it much.

The season finale will air on July 9th, so you have a week to rewatch the whole season!