At last week's Sizzling Book Club Chat, Elyssa gave us the link to a cover that was incredibly dull. I called The Most Boring Cover Ever. She called it “Real estate pron, I guess?” Have a look:
WHAT happened in Comfort Cove? Were all the people sucked up by alien spaceships? Holy crap, are Mulder and Scully or the Doctor going to show up any minute and fix this cover? Or is the basketball the protagonist, much like that beaver in that misguided Mel Gibson movie?
This is a mystery, and a perfect candidate for Caption That Cover. Your job: Caption It! The basketball? The houses? The trees? The clouds? Who knows? It's totally up to you – get crazy with the Cheez Whiz. Best caption wins a $25 gift card to the bookstore of the winner's choosing – and you're free to like and promote and congratulate effusively the captions you like best to try to sway my selection. Sway me, sway me like those frightening still trees on that cover.
You've got 48 hours: ready, set, caption… in Comfort Cove!
If we’re talking real estate, the book should’ve been titled “Body Corporate”. Alas, this is not a Blaze 😉
Sam always finished her early morning jog just as the sun rose over Comfort Cove. If her luck could hold out, the streets would be as deserted as always. She took her reputation for being a hardass—both literally and figuratively—very seriously. It wouldn’t do to have her new neighbors, especially Josh (that cocky, fresh-out-of-college son of theirs), see her in this state! Why did she have to push herself to try that unfamiliar trail leading uphill from the bramble patch? Cursing under her breath (and reconsidering her predilection for going commando), she clutched the remnants of her torn shorts about her and limped around last corner before home, only to stop dead in her tracks at the sight of the basketball on the front lawn next door and the muscular figure emerging from the front door. Just her luck! Of course Josh would have to be an early riser…
Never one to show any weakness, what can she do but return Josh’s speculative grin with a challenge to a game of strip H-O-R-S-E? Sam may be playing for her pride (and Josh’s t-shirt), but little does she know the stakes are about to get so much higher…
Venus Transit Day In Comfort Cove.
You only moved the headstones!
Bwahahahaha!
Kevin finally discovered what people would do if he sang out of tune. Will Winnie ever forgive his block-party ending kareoke performance?
Just when they thought they could live out their lives in the aptly-named Comfort Cove
The Slender Man came for them.
It happened in Comfort Cove… which is why suburban Springview, pictured above, is now deserted. Who wants to stay in a boring town like this?
It happened in Comfort Cove…..zombies don’t eat basketballs!
He was a McMansion. She was historic Victorian. Could they ever cross the great divide between them?
OMG, the horror the horror!
There’s no place like home! There’s no place like…wait a minute. They all look alike, don’t they?
“It happened in Comfort Cove, but Edith’s GPS took her to Stepford Cove and she missed it.”
Goodness knows what ‘it’ is!
Stephen King’s son reveals the source of the true stories behind his dad’s best selling novels… Comfort Cove.
Of course, I keep hearing Pete Seeger singing “Little Boxes” as I look at that cover
50 Shades of Gray….18 years later. You thought the original pushed boundries
Little boxes, little boxes. Littles boxes made out of…
…the blood and ground bones of the victims of Incestuous Satanic Swinger Parties!
Yes, it happened in Comfort Cove.
It could happen to you.
Comfort Cove. Where all the houses are the right height.
<quote>OMG, it’s like an illustration of a scene form Madeleine L’Engles “A Wrinkle in Time”, when Charles Wallace and Meg end up on that Stepford like planet</quote>
@Graniagrace:
I was picturing exactly the same scene 🙂
@Graniagrace…. and THIS is why I love SBTB! One look at that silent street and the abandoned ball and we’re all reaching for the Tesseract-B-Gone! 🙂
Pax
A Son’s Tale:
It happened in Comfort Cove, not Chernobyl. Luckily my mum had taught me the duck and cover protection. Everyone else was not so fortunate.
Comfort Time in Comfort Cove
Comfort Cove is a very family friendly community, committed to keeping marriages strong. Every day, at 10, 12, 4 & 6, the whole town goes inside to ‘find a little comfort’……
I’m amused by how many people had the same original reaction as me and started singing that Pete Seeger song. Now it’s stuck in my head on an infernal, eternal loop.
She stumbled down the empty streets, wondering why it was daylight instead of night and which house was hers? Was the basketball a clue? Had the space ship sucked up all the residents, leaving only her behind. Her familiar street had turned into a movie set with false fronts. Read A Son’s Tale or Cardboard Houses in Comfort Cove.
So what happens when the young, widowed hero drives home late from his high-demand brainiac job and walks into the wrong house, since they all look the same? Sexytime hijinks ensue in the rumpus room, that’s what! *boom-chicka-wow-wow*
or
On a quiet evening in Comfort Cove, normally all you can hear the barbequed meat sizzling, kids playing basketball, and the hockey game blaring from the big screen TV. But last night, 17456 Birchtree Lane was eerily quiet. Too quiet. The neighbours worried, and all retreated to watch the house with their binoculars, phone at the ready in case the body snatchers came for them, too.
A story especially tailored for those who have suffered severe mental trauma and cannot tolerate bold colors, unique houses, trees that provide shade, people, cars, pets or anything more taxing than pondering why someone would put a basketball hoop in the middle of their driveway.
This is exactly what I was thinking!!
Porn from the Bizarro Universe.
“Little houses on the hillside, Little houses made of ticky-tacky, Little houses on the hillside, Little houses all the same.” (paraphrasing “Little Boxes” by Melvina Reynolds)
It actually reminds me of the scenes in “A Wrinkle in Time” by Madeline L’Engle where the kids see all the identical houses with identical children bouncing balls and they all go inside at the same time. Only one boy fumbles the ball and is later seen being punished for it. Or something like that, it’s been years since I read it.
It’s either that or the rapture happened and romance readers are the only ones left behind. 😉
A Son’s Tale… why he sunk a basketball pole in the middle of the driveway so no cars could get past. A story as boring as the cover, but after all, little happens in Comfort Cove.
It happened in Comfort Cove…they all defaulted on their upside-down mortgages.
Truman wasn’t the only one to unwittingly have his own reality-TV show. Unbeknownst to Dale, he was the international star of Suburbia-Heights. Six million viewers watched Dale grow up in the perfectly eerie (or eerily perfect) suburb of Comfort Cove, where his life was all that is peachy and charming. However this idyllic life was soon shattered by the 2007 Writers Guild Strike as, one-by-one, the members of Comfort Cove mysteriously disappeared from the town and out of Dale’s life.
A Son’s Tale is official memoir of Dale, recounting the days soon after he started noticing the missing neighbours and the trials that followed as he discovered the true reality about his life.
Will I ever forgive myself for misspelling “karaoke”? :/
Your request for a
CLINCH COVER
in the shade of
MAGENTA
has been
DENIED.
Sincerely,
Comfort Cove Civic Association
Standards Enforcement Committee
Okay, thanks to SBTB, I’ve learned how to ‘read’ romance covers.
Swords, towers, rearing horses, erect columns, etc, etc.
“The Son’s Tale” has… a basketball hoop, and just one ball.
OMG. Harlequin has finally published a hero with an undescended testicle.
I guess “The Son’s Tale” test marketed better than “All American Hero Monorchism”
Arloa—my favorite caption
It happened in Comfort Cove. Love after the neutron bomb destroys all signs of human life.
don’t be fooled by the basketball hoop installed in the middle of the driveway…it’s really a dance pole
“a son’s tale” – a tale for pedophiles who like to snatch little boys playing basketball in the driveway
A fine romance, with no titty—
A fine romance, such a pity—
All we’ve got is the phallic backboard,
And one ball is all that we could afford.
A fine romance, with no trousers.
A fine romance, with pink houses.
I miss the flowing hair,
Silken skirts she’ll wear
While longing to be unpantsed.
This is a fine romance.