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Title: The Girl from Honeysuckle Farm
Author: Jessica Steele
Publication Info: Harlequin 2010
ISBN: 0373176341
Genre: Contemporary Romance
I honestly wonder if this book came from the past, the far, far distant past where brutal behavior, ripping of bodices, and complete idiocy in response to those first two were the norm. My jaw dropped open more and more as I read it.
To say that Phinn Hawkins (that’s the heroine) has had a very unconventional upbringing would be a honking huge understatement. Her father was an eccentric tinkerer and general dreamer. Her parents split up, and she stayed with her dad on Honeysuckle Farm, where his family has been tenant farmers for generations. The farm itself isn’t much in the farming way, and the land is used more as a repository for various unfinished tinkering projects from Phinn’s dad. Phinn herself gets a job in town – quite a drive from the farm – as a secretary after her mother moves out, and takes on the responsibility of basically supporting her father. Phinn adores him and admires him and accepts no criticism whatsoever of her dad.
Until Ty Allardyce buys the estate, and wants them off Honeysuckle Farm. A series of unfortunate people enter and exit in the first two chapters to create a series of troublesome events that result in Ty’s intense dislike and distrust of Phinn. That dislike is based in part on misunderstanding and on blatant presumption that because, for example, she is a female and related by blood to another female, she’s equal in moral flaw and general asshattery to that other female. Haven’t seen that one in awhile – “She’s related to that awful whore so she must be an awful whore, too!” Way to inspire my confidence in your ability to not be a dickbag, there, Ty. Ty’s a hotshot London financier, pin-striped from tip to toe… who thinks one soggy, wicked uterus is just like another!
I’m honestly having trouble organizing my thoughts to fully express the WTFHUH that is this book. Here, have a list.
1. The heroine has a horse, an elderly horse who is skittish and fearful and terribly expensive. I’m someone who has spent ridiculous amounts of money to care for elderly animals, and even *I* wondered why this girl was doing so much for the horse – there wasn’t nearly enough explanation as to why the horse was so important except that it was. There was a TON of backstory of Phinn’s family but not nearly as much explaining how the horse became such a visceral part of her life. Thus I never quite understood why Phinn should do all of these crazy things to help her horse, including moving into a one room apartment above a stable where her horse could be kept, and thought she was being blindly fixated on a horse instead of her own life.
I guess it was supposed to make her seem unselfish but really it made her immature. I never escaped the image of Phinn as terribly, awfully earnest and blithe and innocent like she was 15 and all that combined to make her seem stone stupid. When the romance started happening, I was squicked to the extreme. There is such a thing as too much innocence, and she totally had more than her share. Her determined ignorance wandered way over the border into cluelessness to the point where she seemed so young the thought of her having sex made me kinda ill.
2. The hero development followed the same route until the end:
I have a boner for her. AM ANGRY BONER HERO.
She has done something that I can interpret as revealing her crappy moral character. ANGRY BONER HERO IS ANGRY WITH BONER.
I will get angry at her even though I’m grossly misinterpreting the circumstances. ANGRY BONER HERO STILL HAS BONER AND IS ANGRY.
Something will happen to reveal that perhaps I was a tiny bit not entirely correct. ANGRY BONER HERO IS STILL ANGRY WITH BONER.
She has done something that I can interpret as revealing her crappy moral character. Again. ANGRY BONER HERO IS ANGRY WITH BONER.
I will get angry at her even though I’m grossly misinterpreting the circumstances. ANGRY BONER HERO STILL HAS BONER AND IS ANGRY.
I will not learn that perhaps I am routinely misjudging her based on the flimsiest of circumstances despite multiple examples of my wrongheadedness. ANGRY BONER HERO IS A GODDAM MORON.
Seriously – she’s related to a thoughtless hobag, so she must be a hobag, too. She’s the daughter of someone who wasn’t terribly responsible, so she must be irresponsible, too. The sins of everyone else must be shared by this girl because she breathes the same air so she must be of absolutely horrific moral quality and a danger to everyone, particularly Ty’s brother.
3. Ty’s brother is actually an interesting character – he’s suffered a complete emotional breakdown twice, so Ty is unwilling to allow him to stay by himself. But breakdown brother has to manage the estate they own – including Phinn’s family farm and another farm up the road.
When Phinn saves breakdown brother from drowning in the local pond and earns brother’s trust and a smidge of Ty’s respect, Ty asks her to move into the manor estate house to be a companion to his brother. But of course Ty can’t TELL his brother she’s his companion. Poor brother with his fragile hold on his emotions has to continue to believe that the real reason for Phinn’s presence is that Angry Boner Hero has a massive angry boner for the heroine.
Which he does but he disguises it badly as aggressive hurtful asshat behavior.
4. The worst is when he comes upon his brother kissing the heroine on the cheek after she’s woken up in bed, feeling emotionally and physically awful herself. What does he do? Gets all pouty and rips her pajama top down her arms because she’s supposed to feel lust only for him.
Gee, what am I as the reader supposed to feel? Admiration for his strength and take-charge attitude? I’m more in the mind of feeling like I want to grab the nearest fireplace shovel and bang him on the head with it twenty times.
It’s amazing how crossing a line affects my impression of a book. The heroine crossed the line into idiocy and spinelessness so many times, and I could tolerate that. I didn’t enjoy it, and I wouldn’t have given this book higher than a C with her involvement because she repeatedly took so many unneccessary and selfish risks, but I could keep reading with some interest. Maybe she’d wake up and realize her own idiocy and have a big huge makeover.
The characters reduced this story. There was unending backstory revealed in the first chapter (HOLY INFODUMP BATMAN) and as a reader I was asked to serve a ridiculous amount of understanding in order to find her character palatable. I found her to be dim and found the excuses for her behavior frustrating. But his pajama top ripping attempts at seduction by force nearly made me shriek. There was no redeeming him after that. She was an idiot. He never learned from his actions, and she didn’t learn much of anything, except that she might want to question her own judgment now and again since she thinks the sun rises and sets on a bunch of morons – her intended included.
I would rather have read breakdown brother’s story – he was much more interesting. As Jane has said, the asshole/doormat ratio was a huge factor in this book, and the degree to which these two were out of balance made this book, which due to the setting and the potential conflict of farmer/landowner I was very curious to read,thoroughly unpalatable.
And this, right here, is why I am so glad a friend pointed me to your website. Hilarious, intelligent commentary on my favourite genre.
I have to agree – I used to find Angry Boner Guy a turn-on when I was in my teens, sneaking these books on the side. Than goodness I grew a brain and realized it’s just not cool.
Thank you, SBs!
=Always calling me “stupid” for believing in God and “an idiot” because I prefer Star Trek to Star Wars=
And if you’re like most of us fans, you probably preferred BOTH Trek AND SWars to him! I mean, who wouldn’t??
Like many commenters here, I also enjoyed a good, forceful hero when I first started reading. And Joanna Lindsey was awesome at those heroes. I was a teenager back then so perhaps it had something to do with my age. At that time the boys I liked were definitely not forceful (thankfully) or even very confident or manly. Maybe it was the illusion of maleness, or what I thought was masculine behavoir, that attracted me. Or perhaps I just developed better taste. As I think about it, there is a progression of me liking an Angry Boner Man to the Brooding Silent Enigma to a Mature but with Chip on Shoulder to Relaxed and Awesome Hero. Hmmm, I think that also sums up my real life relationship progression. At least I evolved.
OK, armchair psychology over.
I’d take Angry Boner Man over Brooding Silent Enigma any day of the week. I can’t stand it when people sulk or won’t tell you what is wrong.
I do agree it is partially age. The guys in high school had no confidence and would practically wet themselves when trying to kiss a girl. (Good reason why I dated older guys.) The Angry Boner Man was also usually self-confidant, sexually accomplished, and usually needed the girl in some way he didn’t want to admit (lonely, jaded, estranged from family).
I am so glad I read this reveiw and your comments. I do not want to waste my money on buying a book that is shown here to be undesirable. LOL.. I love the review and comments. I would normally like this country girl & city boy type but this changed my mind. I will wait to win or someone to lend me this book.. Thanks for all the info..LOL
really? i loved that book and the sequel (for the life of me i can’t remember the name)
there are some have THAT particular issue, always fighting about which one is better..both are awesome..
Is that the one that had the cat that farted?
On the topic of changing with age, I realized this week I really have a problem with the “heroine coerced into a relationship by the bad guy” trope. And I used to LOVE it as a preteen/teen. I found it so compelling and now I find it SO obnoxious.
I read two books back to back (Lead Me On and The Pirate Next Door if anyone’s interested) that had it and I just kept thinking: “Oh, yeah, this is totally going to lead to a satisfying relationship for everyone involved! Blackmail is totally the path to true happiness with your significant other.”
@India
Yep. Like I kept telling him, I like Star Wars just fine. I just like Star Trek better. (Thinking about it years later, it’s because ST has a more hopeful future – an earth without poverty or bigotry, people live sometimes for centuries. Plus my first crush was Mr. Spock. Which is probably why I’ve got a thing now adays for tall, kind of skinny, older men with big noses.)
Peite J & Lara – I think for me the reason I liked ABM so much is because I don’t actually like sex. I wasn’t abused like many would think. I had a LOT of bladder & kidney problems as a kid and the doctors were more concerned with my physical health then my future mental health. Between that and my mom’s constant statement that “Only men and whores enjoy sex. Good girls don’t have orgasms.” just messed me up. That’s why I always say that deep down, so-called rape fantasies are really forced orgasm fantasies. The woman feels guilty about feeling good during sex. But if someone forces her to feel good then it’s not her fault, that “evil man” made her feel pleasure.
As a virgin teen who didn’t even do – well, you can guess – because “good girls don’t do that” the thought of a man forcing me to feel good was very appealing.
I know, I can be very TMI, but part of me always hopes that by talking too much I’ll somehow help someone else in a similar situation. Even if I never heal my own problems, if it helps someone else if I talk about it, then it’s worth it. Even if it makes most people go “EW! Would you SHUT UP?!”
@Alpha & RebeccaJ – When it’s over done, I agree. But like I said, there are times in a book when the heroine IS a total bitch. She’s accusing him of something without asking his side of the story. Being totally selfish.
It always bugs me when issues are not really confronted in books, in fact. Like self esteem ones for instance. The fat heroine who never tells the hero she feels she’s not good enough for him. The hero who never tells the heroine his mom never really loved him. (That’s why I love the new steampunk novel by Gail Carriger, Soulless, because Alexia actually says in front of the hero why he shouldn’t have to marry her – because she doesn’t fit with society’s standards of beauty – too dark of skin, too big of a nose, etc. And I normally don’t like steampunk! But I recommend this one!) I mean, isn’t one of the keys to a good relationship communication? So how can they build a life together if they don’t talk about why they feel they shouldn’t be together?
AND – I am SO good at being completely off topic, aren’t I? But then again, I never read this book and I don’t plan to after this review! LOL
And this is why, in 15 or 20 years, there will be support groups for former Twilight fans.
There are still so many times blackmail is used in Harlequin Presents books. As in “I will destroy your entire family if you don’t marry me!!” Who couldn’t get turned on by that?!
I think there is something about being at a certain stage of life—especially if you were at that stage during the days when it was news that women could have orgasms—that made these characters (do I really have to call them heroes?) so appealing: ” I have no idea what I’m doing and don’t really want to know what you’re doing so I’ll just close my eyes and think of England until your incredible sexual prowess proves to me that even women can, well, you know, because whatever that was, it was so incredible I will ignore the asshat you are wearing.”
Also, I just have to say that I still get angry when I think about Whitney, My Love by Judith McNaught. Seriously? You rape her because you think the woman (girl?) you are forcing to marry you isn’t a virgin (you’ve been saving yourself, right?), which causes you to discover she is or was until you raped her? And then you get all snitty because she could have slept with someone else while you were trying to pull the asshat up from over your eyes in an attempt to reacquaint yourself with reality?
And the WORST PART? I actually liked this book when I read it. I just can’t think about it.
I don’t mind an Angry Boner Hero if the heroine finds the whole thing mildly amusing. I love “I Am An Alpha Male, Dammit, You Can’t Laugh At Me” heroes.
Thank you, Sarah V! Just ordered up 2 Georgette Heyer books. Frederica and The Grand Sophy.
I also had a lot of problems with the hero and the heroine in this book, but I enjoyed reading it. IMO, this book was one of her “better” offerings. Seriously.
Jessica Steele is a comfort read for me, although I don’t know how that happened because her writing always make my eyes roll.
school42—yes, Steele’s writing is terribly old school, like from 1942.
@Cakes—Oh wonderful! I hope you enjoy them! Frederica’s one of my top 5 Heyer novels (a great alpha male hero who doesn’t bang his chest with his fists). The Grand Sophy is very fun, too. Sophy has more personality in her little finger than most romance heroines I’ve read.
I could go on and on and on about Heyer, but I’ll zip my lip, unless you want more recommendations. I’ve read almost every one of her historicals, and many of them more than twice. She’s my favorite romance author of all time.
Sorry, I’m just so happy one more person is reading her books!
I’m always shocked when I run into unexpected “romantic” rape scenes in recently published books. I read an absolutely terrible one recently. I think it was called The Desert Virgin or something? It was filled with scene after scene of disturbingly life-like thoughts from the rapist/hero about how he’s doing it to punish her for disrespecting him, and how she’s a good-for-nothing whore. There’s even a scene where she locks herself in another room to get away from him and he breaks down the door. I just don’t understand how anyone finds that stuff romantic.
@Kalen: Fires of Winter was my first romance too, and had the exact same effect. I actually wrote an entire one page rant about this.
Funnily enough, it was another Lindsay that got me to change my mind: Gentle Rogue. The hero is quite different from other Lindsay heroes. In fact, I daresay he lampshades them.
On a slightly different note, WTF is going on with the hero on the cover of Evangeline Collins book on the RHS? He looks like an amputee…
World97: yes, I remember it back then :sigh:
Ok, I know people have repeatedly said no drinking while reading the SB’s…I have never had an issue…but today I almost spit coffee all over the place at #2: the ANGRY BONER HERO MANTRA. It didn’t help that I kept hearing the words in my head as if read by a stereotypical caveman.
From the initial description, it sounded alot like Disney’s Belle and her crazy inventor father Maurice….though in this version Belle ends up with Gaston (and DUDE, he so had an ANGRY BONER).
Sounds like a Harlequin Presents. Like you, I’m confused as to how anyone can translate that into love.
“Like you, I’m confused as to how anyone can translate that into love. “
It’s called Stockholm Syndrome.
And to Cakes and Sarah, yes, Heyer is excellent. These Old Shades and Devil’s Cub are comfort re-reads for me.
@Vicki—LOVE those two. Though right now, my absolute favorite is Friday’s Child. The Convenient Marriage will always be my go to book, though. (I’m seeing a pattern of “already-married” novels, here….)
To add to the rapy discussion:
When I was really young and read rapy romance novels, I kind of got a thrill to it. Here was a hero who desired the heroine so much he couldn’t contain himself. He lost all self control. I loved that idea, though I never based my ideal man on that in anyway. Thank God I knew it was fantasy, even then.
It wasn’t until The Flame and the Flower, where he disregards everything she says, thinks she’s a prostitute (even though she says adamantly she isn’t one), rapes her, continues to believe breaking her hymen was an excellent whore trick, then kidnaps her to America, that I really started to think WTF????
It isn’t passions spilling over—it’s dominance, cruelty, narrow mindedness, and egoism. These men who are touted as sex symbols should be in prison. ARGH. And I bought into it at 13, 14, reading under the covers with my flashlight.
Suze was absolutely right—now we have the EXACT opposite, with sparkly Edward, who desires Bella so entirely but MUST keep control. But it turns into some strange, vampire puritan thing, which is just as bad to me.
That was my reaction to Edward, too – that he’s a throwback to the rapey Old-Skool Alpha hero from Romance Days of Yore. I wrote about it (at length, omg) here if you’re curious. And have, like, an hour.
Hoofbeats of Passion! Maybe this horse thing that doesn’t work is like the Freud/Jung thing that doesn’t work: Freud’s pissy hero guy is superior because he can put out a campfire with his mighty wang (on my honor, it’s there in one of his theories) and Jung’s animus being a horse clasped between the delicate thighs of the virgin adolescent first awakening to the powers of the magic hoo hoo. Woooo—how could we ever believe that horsepucky?
@SB Sarah—I did read it, a while ago! But I think I must needs read it again. The more the frenzy continues, the more it annoys me. What freaks me out is that Edward is now the ideal man for many girls. Good luck with that!
spamblock “doing93”: elaboration not necessary.
I carefully put my coffe down before reading this review, to prevent the unintentional shooting of coffee out my nose.
Thanks for sparing me the pain and tearing out bits of my sexy beard caused by reading ANGRY AT BONER asshattery coupled with persistent doormattery.
A fine review which probably exceeds the quality of the work being reviewed. Charles Bernstein would be proud of you.
@SB Sarah and @Sarah V. – Does my Romance Reader card get taken away if I admit I haven’t read the Twilight series? I only noticed the books when they hit it big, which was due to the tween/teen set getting all het up. I figured since I didn’t fit into that audience I wouldn’t bother. But many of my friends have read them. And I’m all for a good, brooding vampire (hello, raised on Interview with a Vampire), but from what I’ve heard it doesn’t sound like my thing. But is that not giving it enough of a chance?
As for the famous watching-Bella-while-she-sleeps, this is creepy. I woke up once from a nap to find my bf watching me. I asked what he was doing; he said watching me sleep. It sort of spooked me and I should have listened to that inner voice instead of sticking around for another 3 years before breaking up. Here’s the thing, it seems like the guy watching is just projecting his vision and his ideal. Easier to fantasize with a docile, sleeping woman than dealing with a live, talking one. Or am I taking my experience over what’s in the book?
Okay, I know I’m late to the party, but Jessica Steele wrote a book in the early 2000s and the heroine’s name was Melissa Etheridge. Now, I think Melissa Etheridge is awesome, but her name is not what comes to mind when I think of light and fluffy hetero romance.
I kept flipping back and checking to make sure it wasn’t a typo. I find it hard to believe that name didn’t ring a bell for anyone.
Also the heroine Melissa was “pregnant by surprise” b/c her old professor from college drugged her and raped her. This was all dealt with a very casual, “oh yes, he was a sad lonely man and at least I have this wonderful baby now” kind of way. Probably one of weirdest romances I have ever read.
Actually, I was asked to do a talk on how heroines have changed over the years and read out two scenes to illustrate the differences – one from The Flame and the Flower where the hero (Brandon) rapes Heather (still have the book, still remember their names!) and he basically says, “I’ll do as I wish and you’ll like it.” (mmm… yeah.) Then I read a scene from Guilty Pleasures where Anita meets Jean-Claude after killing a vamp and when he smells the kill on her, she smiles and says, “don’t worry, it wasn’t anyone you knew.” Two different genres, I know, but it illustrated my point that heroines don’t have to be helpless and weak!
Interesting. Never thought of it like that before. Sure wouldn’t want someone watching me sleep. I have a tendency to wake myself up with my own snoring. (What was that!? What was that horrible noise?! Oh, it was just me.) Lucky thing the heroines never snore or drool in their sleep.
As for The Flame and the Flower, that was one of my first romance books I read when I was a teenager and was one of my favorites. Years later I thought I would re-live my youth and read the book again. The second time I was like, WTF?!? He’s a bully and a rapist, she’s a weepy dishrag. Why did I even like this book? I’m so ashamed.
Has anyone else gone back to read a youthful favorite only to wonder what in the world did I see in that book in the first place?
@Petite J – I don’t think you lose points for NOT having read Twilight. But if you want to read it, I say go for it. I should have checked them out from the library. I, to my shame, bought them all as hard copies, because I had to see it through. I drank the kool-aid for a while.
I feel exactly the same way about watching people sleep!!
I wonder how many of us actually got turned on to romance novels after reading this book and The Wolf & The Dove:)? I know I did, but now I can’t stand the genre.
Rofloling at this review. I read a Jessica Steele book which I think was The Boss and His Secretary and it was a complete wall banger. But she was born in 1933 and has been writing for M&B since 1979 so she’s absolutely totally Old Skool. Heavens, she was old-fashioned in her 1980s heyday. If you google her, you’ll discover she’s also keen on writing long-hand with fountain pens.
@Begger –
Or farts!
Thinking about it – wouldn’t it be awesome to read a romance novel that’s so realistic – he’s watching her sleep and suddenly she rips a big one, but he loves her anyway?
My dog is the only one who likes to watch me sleep. She also hogs the bed. How a 7 pound dog can take over 3/4ths of the bed from a 240 pound woman I don’t know….
@beggar1015 – I tried to reread Shanna a few years back. Oh, the agony! And I LOVED that book when I was 13! I also reread Devil’s Desire by Laurie McBain and realized Alex (hero) was a moody shit. I mean, the first thing you do to the woman you love is make her jealous with an old flame, right? Then he thinks it’s okay to get all asshattery about her *talking* with another guy who turns out to be her brother. Come on. I fear that my other childhood favorites will disappoint in much the same way so they still sit on the shelf, their 20-year old pages yellowing with age while I instead admire their cover art… :sob:
I am so going to have a heroine yell at the hero and call him one or all of the above in a book:
These are priceless 🙂
@SB Sarah: For some reason the link to whatever it is you wrote about Twilight isn’t working for me. When I point my cursor at it, nothing happens.
@Suze: Exactly. I haven’t read the books, but I’ve read so many synopses and critiques that I feel like I can comment. Edward sounds abusively controlling. It seems like his obsession with Bella is what keeps the teenagers swooning. I suppose it’s reassuring to know that many of us fell for rapy heroes and then outgrew it.
I wanted to chime in on the “heroine raping the hero” thread. Jo Beverly’s Forbidden tells the tale of a woman who rapes a man because she assumes that sex is what all men wants, and she is desperate to make Francis her protector. (Serena was married off at a very young age to a despicable man who shaped her into a submissive sex slave, so her expectations of men are pretty awful.) The rape doesn’t involve bondage or force, just “take him while he’s still asleep” nighttime sex. Beverly flips the rape convention on its head, by making Francis a virgin who’s unsure how to feel about his violation. If I understand correctly, that this mid-1990s story was taken from a manuscript Beverly wrote in 1976 called A Regency Rape; as you might guess from this title, she was explicitly attempting to subvert the rapy aspects of the romance genre.
Seems that Johanna Lindsay has a thing for the heroine rapiste, because if I’m quite correctly this happens in “Captive of my Desires” too. The heroine was raised by a pirate father, but forced to find a gentleman husband. While looking she gets scandalised/offended by a man, so she decides on payback by kidnapping him. I definitely think she raped him, because I remember him paybacking her again. Really it was a vicious circle.
I find it funny though how much the titles are alike.
@Jan – seems to me a lot of writers have similar things going on in every single book. For instance, I love Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter series, but all her male heroes have had lousy childhoods with the exception of one, who was betrayed by his wife and his father disowned him for marrying her, but until that point he had a good relationship with his family. Even her Born Of books – or at least the first one – same thing. The women all have wonderful childhoods, the men are all victims of sexual abusive, physical abuse, mental abuse, or some combination thereof. It’s actually really tiresome. That’s what drove me to e-mail Sarah begging for one where the roles were reversed. I’m glad I did. (Though, admittedly, I’d love to read one where the woman isn’t messed up because of abuse, but because of medical reasons, like myself. It always makes a book better to me when I can strongly identify with a heroine.)
I wonder why it is that some writers do that. Do they have issues to work out? (Like Dean Koontz’s tendency to always have one character, male or female, who had a lousy childhood. His own father was an alcoholic and always cheating on his mom. Apparently they didn’t even have indoor plumbing for most of his childhood because his father’s drinking always left them dirt poor.) Or do they just get stuck in a pattern because it worked for the first book?
No matter how much I love an author, the same old stuff happening over and over is tiresome. Not every romantic hero was beaten and/or raped as a child. Not every romantic heroine had a happy, loving childhood. Sometimes it’s the reverse. Sometimes neither had anything bad happen to them except maybe their pet goldfish dying. I mean, mix it up a little.