Book Review

The Donut Trap by Julie Tieu

Content warning
This is very much a story about the ways your family can hurt you while having the very best intentions in the world. If this is also your story, you might find it hard going. I certainly did.

The Donut Trap is a New Adult romance with strong coming of age themes. Jasmine’s parents sacrificed and suffered so that their children would have better lives, but at times, Jasmine feels like she and her brother are the sacrifices. They feel bowed down under a weight of expectation and obligation, and the result is that they both resort to hiding important parts of their lives from their parents.

A year or so after finishing college, Jasmine is back living at home with her parents, working from 6am to 10pm in her parents’ donut shop, while hunting for a ‘real’ job, and maybe even a boyfriend – though both more in theory than in practice. Working such long hours, there really is hardly room in her life for anything else… but her hours also form a handy excuse to avoid thinking about difficult things, or socialising with her friends from school and college, who are moving on with their lives and careers in a way that Jasmine feels she is not.

And then Alex, the boy she had a crush on in college, turns up at the donut shop. And he is just as handsome as ever, as well as being charming and clearly very interested in getting to know her better…

The Donut Trap does a first-rate job of depicting difficult family dynamics, particularly in the context of the immigrant experience. Indeed, it did this so well that I was almost unable to keep reading it. The weight of pressure and obligation and shame, the feeling of being trapped in a cycle with no way out, and also just the grueling amount of work Jasmine does in the shop were so intense that I found myself getting really stressed and anxious just reading about it (it didn’t help that the story was first person and from Jasmine’s viewpoint – the reader is really immersed in her troubles). How can you possibly complain about your own little stresses and anxieties when your parents literally fled the country they were born to escape the Khmer Rouge? Jasmine is caught in a trap where she can neither live up to her family’s expectations, nor escape them, nor even express her feelings about them honestly.

One thing that really bothered me was that her best friend, Linh, kept on telling her that she should just talk to her parents, they only wanted what was best for her, and while this was maybe technically true, there is no ‘just’ about it. What Jasmine’s parents thought was best for her seemed to have been decided without any consultation with Jasmine as to what she actually wanted. Much of the book was a masterclass in what happens if you love someone but fail to listen to them. Or when one generation thinks of love as being about pushing their children to be as good as they can be, as a matter of survival, while the other experiences this as never being good enough to deserve love. It is very emotionally destructive.

Basically, this was a brilliant piece of emotionally truthful writing and I found it an absolute horror to read. I will add that the family situation does have a happy and satisfactory resolution, but it takes a long time to get there.

I realise that I have dived straight into the family dynamics of this book without mentioning the romance, but this is because it seemed to me that they were the emotional core of the story. The romance with Alex, while sweet, felt distinctly secondary.

But let’s talk about it anyway because this is a romance novel blog, and also, it was definitely the more enjoyable half of the book!

With the story being told from Jasmine’s point of view, we never get to see quite what Alex is thinking – for the first part of the story, he could almost be a fantasy come to life: the boy she had a secret crush on in college also had a secret crush on her! And now he has reappeared in her life and he still thinks she is cute, even when she is eating Korean Barbecue and wearing grubby work clothes and not flirting because actually she is kind of grumpy at being surprised by her best friend and dragged out for lunch with a cute guy when she isn’t in the mood! And he even speaks Mandarin and knows how to impress her parents!

I enjoyed their awkward flirting via text and social media, and the way Alex really thought about what Jasmine might like when planning their first date. I also really liked the fact that the suave and charming Alex is not without his own family dramas, which render him just as awkward and off balance as Jasmine’s do her. And I appreciated that they were both pretty good at using their words when it counted. This is a closed door romance, so the on-page sexual content was limited to kisses, hand-holding, and a lot of appreciation for Alex’s abs, but the story did a good job of making these very sensual.

One thing I enjoyed a bit less was the low-key love triangle that developed at one point in the book. I could see why it worked thematically, with the things both Alex and Jasmine told and hid from their families in their romantic relationships, but I really could have done without it.

Also, I am contractually obliged to comment on the food porn levels in this book, which were strangely lacking in the early chapters, but picked up nicely when Jasmine started experimenting with new icing flavours about a third of the way into the book. And now I want donuts.

(UNRELATED BUT IMPORTANT FACT: My husband just brought donuts home from the bakery! How did he know?)

The Donut Trap is hard for me to grade fairly, because it pressed a few too many of my buttons. If you like somewhat angsty coming of age stories that speak to the immigrant experience, I think you will enjoy this. But if you’ve just come out of one of those holiday seasons that makes you feel grateful that Christmas comes but once a year, you might want to wait a few months before you read this story, or maybe skip it entirely. It’s a little too good at what it does. I think the writing is brilliant, but I had a miserable time reading it, and I don’t think I can grade it higher than a B minus when it made me so unhappy. I suspect it is going to be an amazing, affirming book for another reader out there, and I hope they find it!

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The Donut Trap by Julie Tieu

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  1. Msb says:

    Sounds like this book deserves a higher grade, as it seems to have had exactly the effect the author intended.

  2. Quinn Wilde says:

    I’m really intrigued. I’m Gen X, and my mother grew up in a very poor and unstable household, and my father in Nazi-occupied Europe. It definitely had an impact upon me in a way that I’m only beginning to fully process in my 40s.

    This might be worthy of another SBTB post (forgive me if I missed it), but I think this might have been a book served very poorly by its cartoon cover and even its name. The cover and title sounds very light and fluffy, while the book you described in your review sounds very different.

  3. Carrie G says:

    Domineering family dynamics such as depicted here are a hard NO for me when reading for pleasure.The dynamic might be understandable, and cultural, but it’s still anxiety producing and often for me, enraging to read about.

    @Quinn Wilde, I agree the cover doesn’t match the book, and without the advanced warning I definitely would have thought this was another fluffy rom-com with food.

    @msb, Most people grade books on how they work for them as individuals. I think the reviewer here made it very clear why this book didn’t work for her and why another reader may enjoy it more. With this cover and the blurb (“sparkling,””romantic comedy”), I don’t think the author (or publisher,likely) conveyed the true content of the book.

  4. Lisa F says:

    I would’ve gone for a solid A- on this one too; it’s a wonderful gut punch of a book, beautifully written.

  5. Katie says:

    Is you are looking for the light and fluffy foodporn/Asian/donut/romance book, you want Donut Fall in Love by Jackie Lau (which also came out this fall.)

    I read both, and for pure escapism, I liked Donut Fall in Love better, because The Donut Trap did have the extra layer of immigrant family obligation/expectation which did detract from the escapism aspect.

    Having said that, I did really enjoy The Donut Trap. I thought it was beautifully written and if Donut Fall in Love hadn’t come out *at the same time* I would be able to judge it better alone… but I can’t, as they came out literally 1 week apart and I read them practically back to back (I read The Shaadi Setup in between, which also had some foodie moments as well.)

  6. Lisa F says:

    I agree with @Katie – if you want fluffy the Lau’s the way to go. I generally love everything Jackie’s written but I found DFIL really charming.

  7. Susan says:

    Thank you for the excellent review. I had bypassed this book due to the cover. It sounds like the cover definitely doesn’t match the book. When I feel up to reading something with difficult family dynamics I’ll pick this up.

    I’ve read a few Indian romance authors that have been really great. It certainly has opened my eyes to the strong family/community ties.

    Some of the Indian authors I’ve read and will recommend:

    Sajni Patel
    Sara Desai
    Farah Heron
    Lillie Vale
    Sonali Dev

  8. Msb says:

    @Carrie G
    A review is for other people, not the writer, though this reviewer was honest about that and the reasons for her low-ish grade. I don’t like marzipan, for example, but that doesn’t make me mark down foods that contain it. Apart from the grade, however, the review functioned just as it should. It piqued my interest, led me to read the sample available online and now I may well buy the book.

    My family, like very large numbers of families, was dysfunctional in a way that made Jane Eyre, one of the greatest novels in English, intolerable for me to read when I first tried it. (Glad I tried again, as it’s now a favorite.) But I would not have graded it down the first time, even though it punched my particular buttons.

  9. Carrie G says:

    @Msb I review books for how they resonate with me, not what the author intended. Everyone reads a different book, bringing their own issues, likes and dislikes. I definitely point out the quality of writing and other positives and put in that “YMMV,” but I don’t grade a book I didn’t enjoy higher because someone else may like it. I actually review for myself, and I want to go back and know exactly how I felt about a book.

    I guess what I’m saying is people review for many reasons, and I’d rarely call a review or a rating “wrong” because I don’t agree with it. That’s the way that person felt about a book and it’s valid. I do think some reviews are more helpful than others because they give reasons and examples, like this one, but I still don’t think a rating is wrong because I would rate it differently. Like I said, we all read a different book. There is a reviewer I follow daily and most often agree with, but even she’s rated books high that struck me as poorly written. So even writing quality is very objective. I could name several writers who are popular on SBTB that I honestly think don’t write well, and I’m not going to up my grade because other people like them.

  10. JenM says:

    @Carrie G – This is often a struggle for me when I review and I tend to go the opposite way you do. I can think of two books that I read this month that didn’t work for me at all, but that were well-written and (I think) accomplished the author’s objective. Typically, I give them higher grade on the review that others will see, but in my own private notes, I give them a “true” grade based on how much I liked them. However, I do try to make it clear in the public review that there were elements that I personally did not like. Also, the one thing I won’t give an author a pass on in my public review is low quality writing. I’m trying to work my way into writing my public reviews more like you are but that means fighting against my people pleaser tendencies. So thanks for the encouragement to stay true to myself!

  11. Mikey says:

    @MSB: To give my two cents: I believe that you should review a book according to what you felt about it. If, as you say, you wouldn’t have given a low score to a book you found intolerable, then in practice, that means that your score would be a bit dishonest.

    A review is supposed to let people know what a person who read a book felt about it. That’s the point. If you feel that a book’s subject matter automatically makes it impossible for you to like it, then sometimes it’s best not to write a review at all–just like it’s best not to review a horror movie if you just don’t enjoy being frightened.

    But when push comes to shove, there’s no such thing as an objective judgment of a novel. What constitutes good writing and bad writing is always going to be subjective. And as long as you’re honest with why you felt what you did, subjective biases can’t ever hurt a novel.

    Sure, low-scoring a horror novel because you don’t like being scared might seem unfair. But on the other hand, if you mention that fact in your review, then people will know that this was a factor in your scoring and keep it in mind when they use the review to determine whether they want to read the book.

  12. Msb says:

    @ CarrieG
    I have no problems with your response, except to note that “wrong” was not among the words I used.

    @CarrieG and JenM
    Excellent conversation you are having, and I bet other SBTB readers would be interested in a larger discussion on the topic of reviewing. (It should start with thanks to everyone on the site who does it, as it’s a valuable service, as well as acknowledging that all reviews are subjective to a certain degree.) Thanks to both for bringing up the quality of writing, which is key to my enjoyment as a reader.

  13. Msb says:

    @Mikey
    Happy to accept your two cents, as of course I agree with most of your comment, except about the purpose of a review.
    All reviews are subjective because human judgements always are. But a book review is intended to inform and entertain the people who read it, who are presumed to share, (this should be in caps) to some extent, the reviewer’s interests and (most interestingly) values. The aim is to enable the review readers to decide if they might want to read the book under discussion – and to talk among themselves, as we are doing. A review is thus a blend of information about the book’s content and style, etc., delivered as objectively as possible, and the reviewer’s personal reaction to the book. (If not intended for others, the text isn’t a review; it’s an entry in one’s reading diary.)
    Reviewers must also have wide knowledge of and interest in the subject they address, as SBTB reviewers do. Many SBTB commenters show similarly broad knowledge and interest. As to shared values, SBTB reviews also contain valuable content warnings on topics that the community agrees are difficult or triggering for readers. The community also agrees that CWs are a good idea, by the way.
    The subjective element of a review is perhaps the most interesting, as it helps the reader gauge the usefulness of the review to them personally. As you say, the reviewer must honestly discuss their own biases. A review of a Shakespeare production (to change media for an example) by a person who frankly admits that they find Shakespeare boring, unintelligible and offensive might entertain me, but it would be useless in helping me decide if I wanted to see that particular show.
    You will therefore understand why I think Catherine Heloise’s review is excellent on the whole. My review of a book whose subject I found intolerable or uninteresting wouldn’t be dishonest; it would be nonexistent, as I would never comment on a book I hadn’t read.
    Again, a post on the topic of reviews might be both useful and fun for SBTB; this one post certainly inspired much useful discussion.

  14. Mikey says:

    @MSB: You say that you wouldn’t comment on a book you hadn’t read. A good policy in itself, but I want to clarify that I never talked about books one hadn’t read. I was talking about books that a person has read and didn’t care for because of some subjective bias. If I wasn’t clear about that, well, my mistake naturally.

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