F
Genre: Paranormal, Romance
This RITA® Reader Challenge 2015 review was written by DonnaMarie. This story was nominated for the RITA® in the Paranormal Romance category.
The summary:
Fierce immortal warrior. Host to the demon of Disease. Torin’s every touch causes sickness and death—and a worldwide plague. Carnal pleasure is utterly forbidden, and though he has always overcome temptation with an iron will, his control is about to shatter.
She is Keeleycael. The Red Queen. When the powerful beauty with shocking vulnerabilities escapes from a centuries-long imprisonment, the desire that simmers between her and Torin is scorching. His touch could mean her end, but resisting her is the hardest battle he’s ever fought—and the only battle he fears he can’t win.
Here is DonnaMarie's review:
Long back story shortish: Many millennia ago a group of warriors stole the dim Ouniak from the gods of the Greek variety and opened it. Why did they do this? To teach said gods a lesson – because that always turns out well. Their widdle feelings got hurt when a female warrior was picked to guard the box – that would be Pandora.
Pride, as they say, goeth before a fall and now, I believe, inhabits one of these guys because the gods punished them by forcing them each to house the demon spirits released from the box – which also makes each of these guys immortal. Now their lives are all about fighting the effects of their inner demons, trying to find a way to get rid of said demons without killing themselves in the process and trying not to be killed by their mortal enemies, the Hunters. Because they’re only sort of immortal.
If you aren’t reading the Lords of the Underworld series, do not under any circumstances start with this book. We’re 11 books plus short stories into the series. It is not one of those series where you can pick up a book in the middle. I had read the first four or five books so I wasn’t completely lost.
I picked up this review because, back when the series started, Torin was sort of catnippy for me. He lives a very isolated existence because he houses the demon Disease. He’s always covered head to toe because the slightest skin to skin contact spreads deadly epidemics. The other lords don’t take him out to bars or battles for obvious reasons. Nothing puts the chill on a night out like the whole bar breaking out with the Spanish flu. He’s also a virgin, but not because of his plague inducing touch. He couldn’t get laid before the possession because he was bad at the sexing. Apparently he’d get too aggressive, and his partners would beg off. Points for respecting that no means no.
Our heroine is Keeleycael, the Red Queen, ultra powerful last surviving (pure blood) member of her species which gets powers through “bonds” with the earth and with other people. It’s never comprehensively explained. Just go with it. She has an angst-ridden back story with lots of betrayal leading to trust issues and low self esteem explained when she goes into flashback mode or maybe a fugue state. She’s been locked up in an inescapable prison for hundreds of years but constantly makes pop culture references, also never comprehensively explained.
The Darkest Touch starts where the last book must have left off: Torin has been transported to a prison cell in another dimension and is watching a girl he’s befriended die because he let her touch him. I’m sure the circumstances of this egregiously bad decision are more fully explained in the previous book. All we know here is that she told him nothing bad would happen. Oops. The girl imprisoned was Keeley’s only friend besides her pet rock. Threats are exchanged, chests thumped and unsexy banter ensues:
“Just so you know, I’ve eaten warriors like you for breakfast.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Well, did you spit or swallow?”
Torin has something in his chest that lets him open any lock, so once he remembers it’s there (HOW do you forget something like that?!!), he’s out of there. He releases all the prisoners except Keeley. They couldn’t possibly be in an inescapable prison for a reason. Keeley gets out when she finally removes the last ward binding her powers.
Surprise, surprise, the other prisoners turn out to be neither grateful nor friendly causing Torin and Keeley to decide to work together to get back to Torin’s home. Yes, from “I will kill you!!” to partners in the course of a chapter. At this point the whole book is, “I can’t touch her. I’ll make her sick. Oh, I’ve touched her. Now she’s sick. Now I pace until she’s better, swearing I’ll never put her through this again. We must part. She deserves better. We’ll be friends. Oops.” Rinse. Repeat.
Once they get home, Keeley, who knows how to use the magical objects they’ve acquired to search for Pandora’s box, locates missing comrades living and dead. (For the record, I absolutely HATE characters coming back from the dead.) This wins her acceptance from the rest of the gang. She gets captured, he rescues her. He thinks he’s figured out the “sex without making her sick” thing, but he hasn’t. To wash that man out of her hair, Keeley goes out drinking with the girls after dressing herself “like a two dollar whore”. o_O
Torin gets captured, she rescues him. They figure out the sex without making her deathly ill thing and surprise, surprise, it involves swallowing. Everything in this book that’s supposed to be sexy was either boring or cringe worthy.
Worse, there’s no agency here. The plot, such as it is, moves the characters along with no actual growth. They move from point A to point B and somewhere in between, viola, true love. No deep sharing or sparkling banter. No actions that speak louder than words. I don’t buy the whole he/she deserves better than me self sacrifice thing as evidence of deep feelings.
I could live with that and write this off as a generically below average read, if it weren’t for the other major problem. The whole thing is so convoluted. There were originally six or eight Lords of the Underworld, then the number of Lords doubled, plus their requisite love interests and a dozen supporting characters all with storylines outside the original “find the magic objects, get rid of inner demons” goal. I like sequel bait as much as the next girl, but they should be just that, bait to get you to go on to their story, and limited to one, maybe two to a book. They should appear only to advance the main romance. In this book you don’t get sequel bait; you get sequel chum. The story is interrupted by Cameo and Lazarus, Baden, who is dead, getting stabbed in the back (literally) by other dead characters (talk about pointless violence), their worst frenemy/Torin’s former besty who comes looking for help with a hook-up, and Hades banging a harpy while trying to win back his former fiancee, Keeley. Awkward! There’s a four page character list at the back of the book. When Torin and Keeley finally make it back to the Lords’ stronghold, you’re treated to a recap of pretty much every character’s status. All the pages devoted to these other characters would have been better spent on character development, emotional depth and plot.
It would have been nice to come back to this series and find it had become more engaging. Sadly, that’s not the case. The flat characters and lack of focus made it a very tedious and disappointing read.
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Best review of this book ever! It is exactly what I think of the book and the way the series has gone. I did read all the Lords’ books up to this one, (except Kane’s; I threw that against the wall two chapters in!) So, I should have realized this book was gonna be bad. I had hope though! Keeley, is not a likable character. She is not even worth the barrel of whisky that Hades sold her for! I kept hoping Anya would “get rid” of her. But no, that didn’t even happen!
I don’t see the attraction between the couple. There was no character development at all between Torin and Keeley. It was snark, snark, and the snarks weren’t even that good, now, all of a sudden I want to have sex with her! It that possibly because you never see women in general? That is what I took from it. Torin was attracted to Cameo at one time. I saw how and why that relationship worked. Keeley and Torin? I don’t get it. I read the whole book and I still don’t get it!
As much as I am anticipating Cameo’s story, I am worried because Kane’s and Torin’s books were so bad.
I tried picking up this series after coming across Darkest Fire in an anthology. That, I liked. But when I tried reading the others it felt like being in the head of teenaged girls. Angsty ones. I just couldn’t do it.
Sequel chum! Bahahahaha….
But let’s get to the truly important question here: is that a butterfly tattoo on his stomach??? I mean, 1)butterflies aren’t symbols of manly strength, and 2)that’s a really awkward place for a giant butterfly, right over his bellybutton as it is. It looks like the bellybutton is the butterfly’s “mouth.” Does he have this tattoo in the book? Does he flex his muscles to make the butterfly “talk” and give it a high-pitched squeaky voice?
Great review.
@Sabrina, yes, it’s on his stomach. They all have a butterfly tattoo somewhere. But look at it, it’s all razor edgy, and therefore manly. Sorry, to flexy fluttering.
Why is he topless? Shouldn’t he be wearing some super-tight long-sleeved shirt, maybe with gloves? Some of the latex or mesh ones can be really sexy.
I stopped reading this series several books ago, and I can’t say I regret that decision. This sounds terrible.
While this review made me chuckle, I actually really enjoyed it. I thought it was a step up from the last two of the series. I do wish there was more about the main pairing, and less about, er, lesser characters.
I hate chapters-long catch ups with previous couples! It’s lazy, I think. And in some series like this one (Susan Mallory’s Fools Gold series also is totally guilty of this), there are so many couples to “catch up” on that there is no room left for the current story! So the plots get thinner and thinner and the current couples less memorable.
Tis was such a highly anticipated book in the series. Torin was funny, smart, snarky, nerdy, and (inevitably) a bit socially awkward….He was *supposed* to be everything the cute computer geek boy you had a crush on in HS. Showalter’s been losing credit like a Regency baron with her last batch of books. I think she’s lost her MoJo.
As an aside: Did anyone else see the two (effn’ 2!!!) shout outs Showalter got on Orange Is The New Black?
Well, this review pretty much nailed what’s gone wrong with Showalter’s novels.
This is why she’s dropped from my autobuy list to someone whose books I’ll pick up if spot one at a garage sale. Maybe.
I loved the book in the series with Anya the (minor) goddess of anarchy. Sadly, none of the heroines in later books had her delightful swagger. As the series went on, the books got more angst-filled and less fun. PNR shouldn’t take itself too seriously, IMHO, because there’s magic and monsters and so on.
Yes, Anya and Lucien was the only book I really enjoyed. Unfortunately, in the course of reading this book, I found out she did something really heinous to Maddox’s twin infants and it totally ruined my good memories.
I don’t get why the same books by the same authors get to last stage of RITAs every year. I never believed it but over the last few years, I get why so many people feel it’s a popularity contest. Best of the best my foot.
Since it appears to be a self promotion/nomination process, I guess we’re limited to the authors willing to throw their book in the ring, or to the wolves as the case may be. It certainly generates interest in the books.
The last book, in this series, that is read was Paris’ story. If it had not been on my Nook, it would have been thrown against a wall. I decided then that I was done with this series. I just didn’t care enough about the rest of the characters. And I really really disliked the Paris story.
I totally agree as much as I love gena showalter I could care less for Kane & Torin story… The little parts with William&gilly/cameo&lazarus got me more excited then the main characters I think I’ll skip badens story and wait for Williams or cameo.
Hi, my name is Brie and I loved your review but I’m actually pretty frustrated at the moment and I am debating whether I will read any of Gena’s books again. I was first introduced to this author when I read a book I saw in the store called Firstlife. I LOVED it, I finished it in two days but when I tried to find Lifeblood, the second book in the series it is LITERALLY NOWHERE and I am beyond frustrated and bordering on angry. This is the first site I’ve found that I can actually comment on to try and find an answer. I can’t even sign up to comment on Gina Showalters own website because it keeps denying me saying I’m not putting in the right information when it asks for something about an Author Site. I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong and I don’t want to start any of her other books until I’ve finished the Everlife series that I started. Any chance anyone can shed some light on my issue? Her site doesn’t even say whether or not the other books are out, it justs lists them and when I try to click on the link it keeps saying there’s an issue with the site. I’ve never had so much trouble finding a book before and I feel almost as though I’m being trolled as some sick joke. Any thoughts on what I might be doing wrong?
@Brie: Hi, Brie! Welcome to the site! Since Firstlife came out February 23rd, it’s a very new release. Gena probably announced Lifeblood as the title for the second book and that’s it, but it’s definitely not published yet and probably won’t be for at least several months. Hope that helps and sorry for the wait until the next book.