My Big Fat Greek Wedding
by Nia Vardalos
Gold Circle Films
Carrie: Okay, saw it.
Redheadedgirl: Had you seen it before?
Carrie: Yeah, when it first came out.
It has allowed me to apologize to my husband for dragging him into a huge family. However, I also get to point out that the McGowans never actually spit on him, so that’s a plus.
Redheadedgirl: HA
Amanda: I’ll be honest. I was procrastinating with watching it because I was bored out of my mind when I first saw it, but I was young. So maybe it’ll appeal to me more now that I’m a barely functioning adult.
Sarah: I’m about to watch it. Commence nostalgia.
Redheadedgirl: A LOT of Greek people felt like it was laughing with and not at, because they said they recognized their families and life in it.
Some people did not appreciate it and felt it was reductive and stereotypical.
I have a friend who did her masters degrees at a Greek Orthodox religious university in Boston, and I visited her and hung out with her friends not long after the movie came out
and they were all like “No that movie is pretty accurate, that’s our lives right there.”
Sarah: The thing is, it starts very much like a play.
Amanda: I giggled at the part about writing her MIL letters. No offense to writing letters because letters are sweet, but I keep in touch with my grandma in South Florida by text. She freaking loves her iPhone.
Redheadedgirl: Wait, what part?
Amanda: It’s a flashback to her asking her mom why she needs to go to Greek school and her mom’s response was, “Don’t you want to be able to write your mother-in-law letters?”
Sarah: How are they watching The Price is Right at night? It’s an afternoon show?
Carrie: I love the mom and her speech about wanting Toula to live.
Redheadedgirl: I love the mom in general.
I think there are two set of people who identify with this movie – people who have parents who are recent immigrants with a large community, and people who big crazy families.
Carrie: Yes. I have the latter, and the loud, all up in each other’s business, lots of eating, the group family is everything – that I could totally relate to. And while my family was very encouraging of my hopes and dreams, I also always felt like the ugly duckling of the family and people were extra happy that I got married because what were the odds.
Elyse: Oh, I think every family regardless of size relates to the crazy. My family is small but Toula’s dad reminds me of my grandpa with his whole Windex thing. That sounds exactly like something my grandpa would do. Like he would tell people all the time that he actually invented Color-Forms (remember those?) and someone stole the idea from him while we all tried to fade into the wallpaper. Or if he wanted to be a shit when we went to dinner, he’d tell the waitress something like “My daughter wants to know how much you weigh,” just to embarrass her.
I grew up with a really small family–it was my mom, sister and I, and I have one aunt and uncle who live 3 hours away–and I’ve always wanted a huge family with aunts and uncles and cousins. I love romance novels that feature huge families too. If I had a big family, I’d probably want the opposite but you know.
Carrie: I kind of have both, because I’m an only child but I live in the same town as approximately a gazillion aunties and cousins. It’s very matriarchal and very gossipy and I have sibling issues and roles with my cousins that other people have with siblings (I’m the middle one).
And when men marry in, even though they theoretically keep their last names, we refer to them as McGowan men. I confuse outsiders because I talk about being a McGowan but my actual last name is just a pesky detail.
And when Glen and I were serious my mom hosted a brunch and he had to meet about 25 of my relatives at one time. We called it The Sacrificial Brunch.
Redheadedgirl: I grew up in a household where we all had different last names for a while, so…
My cousins (who grew up a couple of towns over) and my sister and I are determined not to let distance get in the way- there aren’t that many of us, but we want to stay up in each other’s business. Also that makes me the eventual matriarch, so that works.
Elyse: A lot of fictional big families are represented as being matriarchies. Toula’s was, I think. Her mom ran the show.
Carrie: I like when Ian points out that everyone’s family is crazy.
Amanda: I could relate to Toula’s aversion to Ian meeting her family because that’s how I feel about my current relationship. I’ve already met his family and they’re lovely people. Sailor Eric is well aware of my feelings on my family and how nervous I am should he meet them, so I got a little emotional with Ian’s acceptance.
Redheadedgirl: I like that Toula never tries to hide the ball with Ian re: her family. She just lets all of her frustrations with them fly. Like, she loves them, but sometimes they baffle her and frustrate her when all she wants is to figure out where the hyphen goes in “Greek-American.”
Carrie: Linden and I both loved that she cuts the crap quickly by admitting that her family owns the Greek restaurant, and that it’s both funny that she doesn’t want to talk about her family but as soon as she starts, too, it just all comes out…”And then my aunt forks an eyeball and chases me around to make me eat it so I’ll be smart!”
Sarah: She loves hearing about his family and hates talking about her own. I FEEL YOU TOULA.
Amanda: Sames.
Elyse: What do you think of the fact that Toula made herself over before finding Ian? Well, really meeting him I guess would be more correct.
Carrie: I like it a lot, it’s a nice change from “I met a guy and fixed my life” She fixed her life and then met a guy. And “I don’t remember frump girl but I remember you” always makes me swoon a little.
Redheadedgirl: I think, and I watched it with the commentary so this is Nia’s interpretation, is that it was a matter of finding her confidence to get out of the rut she was in.
Carrie: And she didn’t make herself over to land a husband or acceptance; she just seemed ready to take that step.
Redheadedgirl: So it wasn’t “she got a make-over” and more “she took control of her life and figured out who she was.”
Carrie: There’s not much tension to the romance because Ian is a blank slate of perfect.
Redheadedgirl: No, the tension was all “what is this family going to do next.”
Amanda: I do not think John Corbett is attractive by the way. And Toula being “awkward” when Ian first comes in makes me cringe.
Sarah: John Corbett is perpetually Chris in the Morning from Northern Exposure. He’s Ian-in-the-Morning.
Redheadedgirl: The movie also shows that Toula isn’t the only one feeling trapped by parental expectations – her brother is, too.
Amanda: I feel like pressure to marry and reproduce isn’t just exclusive to the Greek community. Like I feel those societal pressures like whoa.
Carrie: And Ian had to break away from his parents’ expectations too, and they clearly still love him and care about him and seem to care for each other.
Amanda: Though I have a lot of gripes about this movie, I just cried at the proposal.
Sarah: Awwwwwwwww
Carrie: The Cinema Sins for this movie is great. “What kind of proposal is that? How will you tell this story to your children? Well, kids, your Dad had just finished going down on me…”
And Linden said, “Where did he have the ring?”
Amanda: I’m of the mind that proposals don’t have to be a huge THING. Like I’d be totally cool with a sleepy, post-sex, genuine proposal.
Redheadedgirl: Linden, they weren’t fucking in a clean room.
Elyse: I did like that it shows you can have your first real romance when you’re older than, like, 19. Some people get a later start.
Sarah: Sex is a really interesting dynamic in this movie. She’s 30 and she is so under the control and oversight of her family – and when she gets to choose what makes her happy she jumps him from across the room.
Redheadedgirl: On the commentary Nia says that was so unsexy.
There was several crew in the room, including one who’s job it was to keep the couch from moving.
Amanda: I do like how Ian just lets her do things at whatever pace she wants. Just want to makeout in the car without anything else? Sure, let’s do that.
Sarah: I loved that.
The making out in the car sequence … I don’t think I’ve seen that sequence in a movie before. It showed the escalating tension and his acceptance and her exploration of boundaries – I love that part.
Also: his very bland, boring, quiet, extremely white and rather awful family. Oh, gosh. There are so many familiar things here.
Redheadedgirl: I don’t think they’re awful, they’re just so insular white bread that any ethnicity sort of blurs for them.
Sarah: Being the woman who enters the culture is so different than being the guy. Ian’s all, whatever. I was like, WTF.
Redheadedgirl: Ian is also very very mellow.
Sarah: Like Ian sitting there while his parents wig out with big eyes and frozen faces.
Carrie: When Toula wipes off her make up in the limo I had to stop it to explain to Linden that all my aunts kept coming into the dressing room and putting more make up on me until I looked like a clown woman.
Redheadedgirl: From the commentary (paraphrase): “People ask how they made me so ugly. The real Ian laughed his ass off, because that’s how I look when I wake up in the morning.”
Elyse: I think my favorite scene in the movie is the church scene with the kiddie pool full of oil.
Redheadedgirl: (The kiddie pool wasn’t full of oil; he was just anointed with it, before getting doused in water)
Amanda: Okay, I still found it boring. I definitely agree that it’s more about Toula finding herself. Her family infuriated me and I really had a deep, dislike for her father. My roommate, who comes from a big Italian family, said a lot of it reminded her of Italians. Perhaps my lack of interest comes from my own upbringing. I don’t really have a cultural identity in terms of things that only families of a specific origin would understand (Greek, Italian, Jewish, etc), and I’ve always been envious of that sort of thing, that sort of shared experience. And yes, my family is dysfunctional but not in a fun, quirky way. In a big, unhealthy way.
I don’t know if it was the lack of having a similar experience with cultural identity or my own childhood or if I was so annoyed by Toula’s overbearing and at times rude family, but I just could not get into it.
Sarah: The gender difference – I recognized that in a lot of real-life incarnations around me. Sons are infallible; daughters get it wrong all the time. Also – I love how her brother rolls in shirtless, and no one questions him. Toula gets all these questions.
Amanda: I got so angry when Toula’s dad made some comment about how they shouldn’t have let her go to college when they found out about her boyfriend. SHE’S THIRTY AND COLLEGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Stop being a jerk.
Sarah: Very old way of thinking. Also had an email from a Greek Canadian reader (Hi! I didn’t want to use your name without permission!), and she was like, Are they kidding? I was encouraged to go to college, to go to graduate school, I always put on lipstick before I left the house.
The thing she didn’t get was the emphasis on Toula being discouraged from education.
Amanda: Education was never discouraged in my household, so maybe that’s why I’m having trouble connecting. Sure, I had grandparents who made comments about me getting married and having kids, but they also loved it when I did well in school.
Sarah: What I LOVE is that all the women run around the dad because they know he’s wrong and he’s stubborn. They all let him think it’s his idea and they had to lead him right to it. HA.
Amanda: But Aunt Voula’s wardrobe is my everything.
Sarah: Voula is the best.
And the large family vs his family filling, like, two rows? I know that part. At my wedding, we didn’t have seating by families, but the guest list was like that. Adam has third cousins they’re still in touch with. We see them regularly – or we did when we were in Jersey. My kids are great friends with their third cousins on his side of the family. Meanwhile, I don’t even know if I have any. I probably do? No idea.
Carrie: I remember saying to Glen on like our second date, “What do you mean you don’t hang out with your cousins?”
And if we had done the bride/groom seating arrangement the ceremony seating would have looked just like in the movie – tiny handful of Tarrs, lots and lots of McGowans. Loud McGowans who would have kept saying, “More lipstick, you need more, you will WASH OUT.”
Sarah: I know the feeling of bridging two cultures when one is So Much of everything and one is not.
Carrie: Watching it again I would have liked more equality and compromise in their marriage. At least fix the wedding invites for heaven’s sake.
Elyse: I think overall it’s a very positive movie. Even though they drive each other nuts, Toula’s family love each other a lot.
Sarah: I love the way that the romance is very understated. “You want to have dinner with me?” “Yeah.”
The music is a little heavy handed, and now that I’m older, I see the flaws, but the part of me that was so charmed and happy to see a little of my own weird experience is still very charmed. I didn’t have to sit in a kiddie pool in front of everyone, but I did that part sort of with the mikveh. Oh, gosh.
“He’s going to look at me and say, yeah, you’re so not worth it.” And his brother says, “Yeah, you are.” Melted!
Redheadedgirl: Sniff.
Sarah: Joey Fatone: Hey Ian! We’re gonna kill ya!
Amanda: Joey Fatone…Oh, Joey. He’s more like a Brooklyn Italian stereotype in this movie.
Carrie: I lack biological siblings but one of my girlfriends did the obligatory, “If you hurt her I’ll kill you” thing to Glen before we got married, so I’m covered on the death threat front.
Redheadedgirl: IT’S A CAKE
Sarah: THERE’S A HOLE in this cake.
This is a slow movie though. So slow. Like the director had tape to spare for fountains and sweeping shots around the room. This movie is SLOW compared to movies I watch now. It’s a very pokey, meandering movie with its own pace. But I loved it then, and I liked it now.
I’m still teary at the wedding scene, every time. It’s weird how the movie holds up for part of me that is so happy to see how strange it is to bridge two very different cultures, and the other part is like, “Yeah, well, it has problems and -” and then that part is drowned out by the giddy feels of seeing a piece of my experience portrayed in a film that’s so warm and funny. I can see its flaws but I also see it’s charms, and they still work on me.
Okay, so two questions:
1. (If you’d seen it before.) Did the movie hold up? Did it match your impressions/reactions as it did when you first saw it?
2. What grade would you give it, and why?
Redheadedgirl: I think so? I have seen it several times since then, I always like it. It’s a soothing avocado mask of a movie.
Sarah: I agree. It is an avocado mask movie. I watched it last night and then turned on the commentary and watched half of it again. It’s a visual world I’d hang out frequently.
Redheadedgirl: It’s adorable that the real Ian is in the movie, too.
It’s a solid B. It’s not deep, or groundbreaking, or anything other than it is, but it’s exactly what it is. And what it wants to be. A sweet movie about a woman and her dude navigating family.
Sarah: YES. I also loved what Nia had to say about Toula’a appearance, that it’s not a makeover. She does it herself because she feels listened to and seen and she likes herself better. No one does that makeover to her – until the end when they turn her into a poufy mega-ruffle bride.
Amanda: I don’t know if I’d say it held up for me. I didn’t really GET it the first time around and I all fairness, I was thirteen. But this time, I was more aggravated by a lot of things instead of being bored.
For me, probably a C or C+. I was mildly entertained at some parts, but most of it was either how I couldn’t relate to this big family experience or it was irritation at her dad for being a jerk or everyone else for not respecting boundaries.
The whole wedding thing – the invitations, dresses, who to invite – is my nightmare because I’m worried that’s what’ll happen to me from my mother and grandmother. Hence me probably preferring an elopement.
Sarah: Weddings make everyone bananas. And then and now, I had such OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THAT FEELING of bridging two different cultures and not being sure how it would work.
Elyse: It’s held up for me. We own the movie and it was the sort of thing that I’d watch when I didn’t feel good or needed brain rest.
I would go with a B. It’s not perfect but it makes me happy.
Sarah: Why does it make you happy?
Elyse: There’s not much angst. Toula and Ian’s relationship is easy and I never thought there would be a real hindrance to them getting together. And even when Toula’s family is being a pain in the ass, they love her. There’s no darkness here.
I like that it’s a rom com that doesn’t have a scene where Ian has to chase Toula through an airport and beg her to take him back, etc. And a lot of rom coms have a conflict that’s based on deception–How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Sabrina, etc–and this didn’t
Sarah: Yes – it’s “I am afraid to show you all of who I am,” vs. “I’m not who you think I am and I’m hiding my true self because reasons.”
Elyse: They did a good job of casting Ian and making him a kind guy. I never doubted that he’d accept Toula. Or maybe I’ve just watched it too many times so there’s no angst.
This was a movie my mom and I both really liked so we watched it together a lot over the years.
Carrie: It mostly holds up for me. When it first came out, I thought it was hysterical. This time around, I found it comforting. It gave me warm memories of my aunts crowing into my dressing room and caking makeup onto my face before my wedding, and of the fact that we didn’t have a “bride’s side” and a “groom side” because if we had it would have looked just like the outcome in the movie. I related to the large family where everyone is all up in everyone’s business. Even with the dad, you were able to see his fear – his fear of how the world is changing, and his fear that maybe Ian won’t be right for Toula, not only because Ian isn’t Greek but because Toula’s dad doesn’t know anything about him, a contrast to the usual arrangement where he would have an active role in the matchmaking. I like how Ian and Toula are so low key with each other.
The one thing that hasn’t held up well for me is that even though Ian doesn’t seem to care, it makes me really upset for his boring family that they are so totally exculded from an active role in the wedding – I wanted a little more meeting in the middle and I think that would have made for a more nuanced story. Of course, two totally different culutres can work together when one party is willing to totally subsume themselves into the other culture, a la Ian. Over all, it’s a good comfort movie but not one that challenges the viewer (which..hence the comfort, I guess).
Grade: I’d say a B-. I would be happy with anything in the B range.
Sarah: I was thinking about that while I was running – that Ian-in-the-Morning (he’s always Chris in the Morning that guy, always) doesn’t do anything to ease his parents’ introduction, and he’s just chill and smiling the whole time.
The emotional labor of balancing both sets of parents, swallowing the insult when his parents are like Greek? No, Armenian? No, Guatemalan!, worrying about how they’re going to interact or manage the differences in culture and volume – that’s all on Toula.
I also don’t think that he’s totally subsumed. Entering a culture that effusive and complicated as an adult means you’re never fully in it. (Ask me how I know!)
He’s acceptable because he has the stamp of conversion. He doesn’t speak the language fluently and Toula’s brother and cousin fuck with him a lot. He’s in a space where he’s not entirely fitting in with Toula’s family, and not entirely fitting with his own bc they don’t understand his choices, either. (Again, ask how I know!)
I wish Ian had done more to ease his parents’ culture shock. It would have made his character more than what it was.
Carrie: I knew Ian was going to be fine when the brothers made him say “I have three testicles” and he started chasing them around the lawn but still smiling – like he was a fourth brother/cousin.
Sarah: Yup!
I’d give the movie a solid B. Even seeing the flaws and the pacing issues, it’s comfort re-watch material, which is why I own the DVD. It survived the ruthless purge I did before we moved, and I am going to finish the DVD commentary tonight, I think.
What about you? Did you rewatch My Big Fat Greek Wedding?
It’s in the news a lot lately with the sequel (which, sadly, does not have good reviews at all, sniff) – I hadn’t anticipated how much coverage there would be! This analysis of the movie’s long-term success at FiveThirtyEight was fascinating, for example (Thanks to Adam for the link).
If you rewatched it, or watched it for the first time, what did you think? Did you enjoy it? Does it (still) charm you or leave you bored? We would love to hear what you think!
Haven’t rewatched it yet, but I rewatched it last year.
It was definitely funnier the first time I watched it, but I’ve never regretted buying the DVD.
My family isn’t large or what anyone in the US generally regards as ethnic (English), and my extended family all lives across the pond. (I haven’t seen most of them since I was 6.) However, I could still identify with Toula. Even small, normal families can be quirky and embarrassing as hell. And to some degree I think most people struggle to figure out what makes them happy vs. what other people expect of them.
I think I’d describe the romance as cute. They meet, they figure out they really like each other, they get married. No muss, no fuss. It’s certainly a nice change from how Hollywood generally treats relationships.
Hi back Sarah! Thanks for the shout out. Yes, the main thing about this movie that makes me totally fuming is the fact that Toula wasn’t encouraged to get an education. Like I said in my email, we were all encouraged to get educated and most times the pressure was even greater on the girls. My family wanted me and my sister to HAVE IT ALL. My Dad would say all the time, he didn’t leave the village to recreate a Greek village in Canada. While the importance of family is always paramount – bettering ourselves and achieving more than our parents was huge. This is the case with all immigrant families I think.
As a 1st gen Greek-Canadian, I think the reason that this movie resonates so much is that Nia lovingly captures the experience of people like me – 1st generation children of immigrants. Doesn’t matter what your ethnic background is we 1st gens all get one important thing: we don’t quite belong “back home” with our more westernized views and we often sure as heck don’t belong here either because of our “ethnicity”. It captures sexual politics, cultural politics and the desire to live ones life so well. When I 1st saw MBFGW with my now ex-husband we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or both – this movie is so much my life on screen I can’t even begin to list it.
This movie still has legs – my son, nephew, and nieces still watch it and love it and tell their friends that this movie is their life (minus the Windex, lack of focus on education). The Toronto Star gave the new movie a lovely review saying basically it is what it is – a happy sappy kind gentle movie, a throwback. They gave it 2/4 stars. Can’t wait to see it!
For heart, this movie is a solid A for me.
Milly
As a viewing experience this is definitely and A. This is comfort food for the bff and I. Lines of dialogue fall out of our mouths when someone asks the wrong question. Earlier this week she sent out a post for our Outlander premier pot luck. You know my response was “I’ll make lamb.” And, oh, the hilarity when one of us makes a Bundt cake. And the offers of a Windex spritz.
That being said, it’s a solid B as a movie. I had issues with Ian and his parents. Aside form the fact that they seem more caricature than character, there’s some passive/aggressive stuff going on which makes me wonder just how nice a guy he really is. I get that he has different values and a different life, but he does nothing to ease them into this strange over the top situation.
And I agree, it’s nice to be spared the whole chasing after/big apology in a modern rom/com.
I have such vivid memories of when this movie first came out. I was married at the time to a man with a large Italian family. Four of five siblings of my MIL lived within four blocks of each other and two of them were married to two brothers. My husband and I owned an Italian restaurant at the time and plenty of the cousins our age (25 to 45) worked for us. Every time one of the cousins/cousins’ wives saw the movie for the first time, they would come into work and say, “Oh my God! Did you see the bathrobe Toula’s mother wore? My mother/MIL wears the same one!” And it was true for me too. My MIL had that EXACT robe, down to the color and the long zipper. But then many of the family traits in the movie I recognized in the Italian clan I was part of. The Bundt cake rings true on so many levels for me, like when I made Harvard Beets to take to my inlaws for Easter Sunday dinner the first year I was married. Oh boy!
I definitely laughed more the first time I saw. That was in the theater and everyone was laughing. But I still really liked it. I can relate to being the one who wants to hide when someone looks at you.
Her Aunt telling his parents about her twin.
In the commentary Nia mentions the diner scene before her makeover. She thought Ian and John were going to laugh when she came out. Instead they were all, Ahh you look so sweet. And she talks about how women have a hard time believing that an Ian could be real. That there are just good easy going guys.
I saw it first with my Greek friend back when it came out, in my thirties. When I was still so critical of everything, and had high expectations of perfection from everyone. Which made it irritating as it was funny. Now, a decade later, I laugh in nostalgia. Wishing I hadn’t spent so much time being critical and judgmental, and just enjoying, and accepting, people’s differences.
I first saw MBFGW on a flight back from England and believe me, it’s a great way to reintroduce yourself to America. The complex nature of assimilation is a plot thread that is gently plucked at here but the notes are positive over all, as Toula’s father says “We have apples and oranges but in the end, we’re all fruit”.
What touched me both then and now is Toula’s determination to change her life for the better and yet still be a part of her family. As a somewhat dutiful daughter myself, it is a struggle to find that happy medium,however, I love those scenes when Toula’s mom secretly supports her girl. “The man may be the head of the house but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants!”
I also adore the “I remember you” scene-the way he says that tells me that Ian was drawn to her right from the start,regardless of how she looked at that time, and when he spots her in the travel agency, he has that “where have I seen her before?” look in his eye.
In watching it yesterday, I totally forgot that there was an Easter celebration in the story, which made it perfect viewing! I do agree that Ian’s family is underdeveloped but it’s a minor flaw to me.
I am not Greek. However, I am Greek by association, kind of, due to the fact that I worked for Greeks for over 25 years. The movie was spot on.
I hadn’t watched it for many years–still very sweetly charming. I liked the fact that Toula and Ian were grown-ups about their relationship and there was not a whole lot of manufactured conflict–in fact, the whole thing was pretty low-stakes. I did notice, as others have said, that Ian and his family are rather thin characters, but it seemed to me like the whole movie was like one of those stories that you tell over and over again, with a focus on the most vivid details you experienced–so it makes sense that the parts that Toula wasn’t there for are a little sketched-in.
I don’t think I’ve rewatched this movie in its entirety since I saw it in the theater when it was first released. I thought it was sweet and funny and was probably a solid A. I don’t know how it would hold up now, tho.
SPOILERS? As a side note, I saw the second movie just today. I didn’t hate it, but it felt a little flat to me. It has its up points, but seemed like a repeat of the original in many ways, with not enough new stuff. I felt sad for Toula and Ian through most (maybe all) of the movie. And the Dad’s still awful.
But I saw it with a friend from an enormous Italian family and she liked it more than I did. When it was over, she said, “I think the Greeks must be crazier than us Italians!” I said, “Nope.”
My husband and I watch this movie together often, and we both come from small families so can’t exactly identify with the huge family culture shock issue. We just really enjoy the movie. We probably watch it once a year or so, and we quote it constantly. YOU DON’T EAT NO MEAT? all the time (he’s a vegetarian), and WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME? and BUNDT-T-T CAKE. I love that he loves the movie, too, and that it’s become a sort of icon in our relationship.
I think we view the dad as sort of this comic, pathetic figure. He’s totally flawed, but he has no real power (except what Toula and her brother give him before they realize they don’t have to). So thinking of him like that, it’s hard for me to hate him.
We’re afraid to watch the sequel.
This movie came out when I was in high school, and I remember going to see it with my mom, my mom’s friend, and my friend. Because I was a teenage girl, my friend and I sat several rows away from my mom and her friend.
Basically our movie commentary went like this:
My friend (total white bread from a small family): “Wow, her family is SO WEIRD. Why are they SO WEIRD. People don’t act like that.”
Me: “What are you talking about? Change the language and that’s MY family.”
Afterwards, we met up with my mom and her friend and my mom and I just started laughing and saying which of the aunties and cousins in the movie were like which one of my real-life tias and cousins. And I identified so strongly with being caught in the middle – not as first-gen or marrying out of my culture, but I’m white on one side and Mexican on the other and it’s this constant balancing act, so that struck a chord with me in Toula’s story.
I haven’t re-watched so I don’t know how it’ll hold up, but I think I will, because my mom really wants to go see the sequel. I agree with you that there really wasn’t a strong love story, per se. Ian was just the perfect guy, a sort of blank slate for things to happen to or because of. But the CAKE with a HOLE (Look! I fixed it!!) is still one of the things my mom and I laugh about.
I’m not Greek (though apparently I look it), and my GOD, I identified so hard with this movie. I’m half Ecuadorian, and the first child in the family to be born in the States. The culture clash on my end is a bit different, but Lord if I don’t get the “when you meet a nice Ecuadorian boy…” or “when you get married…” or “when you have children of your own…” it helps that my father is very traditional and I’m still going through my ugly duckling phase at 24. At the end of the day, this movie feels like home and I love it. Also, the sequel is amazing. Don’t listen to the reviews.
Definitely a B for me. One of my favorite comfort movies. I originally saw it in the theater (sold out show) with my parents, and we all laughed like fiends. My (very WASPy German and English) father said that it was eerily accurate to his experiences meeting and being assimilated into my mom’s extended Italian family. Ironically, my mother’s youngest brother is still one of his best friends.
The college thing rang true for us because my mother’s parents wouldn’t pay for her to go (a “waste” for a girl) even though she was a good student. But she graduated high school in 1956.
I still enjoy it and I saw the sequel today and enjoyed it, too.
I wonder if it would make a difference to know the film was based on a one-woman show Nia did based on her life–her husband is actor Ian Gomez and he’s in the films? There’s a lot of her real-life experiences in the film. Rita Wilson saw the show and took her husband, Tom Hanks to the show. Ultimately, they helped Nia bring to life as a film.
No, I didn’t have to look this info up–I remembered it from when the original movie first came out. I have an eidetic memory. There have been a lot of comments going in a lot of directions through the threads on SBTB, I thought I throw this in for a factoid. Maybe this was covered and I missed it.
I didn’t rewatch it recently, but it was a total “B” comfort watch the first time around. I’ve waitressed in several Greek diners here in NJ, so I recognized and loved all the Greek ethnic stuff-which also could have been a big Jewish, Italian, or you-name-it family. Any one of those cultures that’s big on food. Plus, anything with Lainie Kazan and Andrea Martin is worth watching. I’ll watch Andrea Martin read the phone book, for days. But Ian was way too beta for me to find attractive. And I was prejudiced against him because I HATED his Aidan character on Sex and the City, where he was WAY whiny and annoying and passive-aggressive.
I am Greek. I have a lot of family in America. One of my uncles was nearly kicked out of the cinema when this movie first showed because he was laughing too hard.
Most of the severely old-fashioned bits are more Greek-American than Greek and has to do mostly to whether people are first or second generation immigrants. But the wedding itself? That’s what I am doomed to have.
I’m a WASP, but I grew up in a working class area with a large immigrant population, so a huge number of my classmates were Greek, Italian, Spanish, Croation, Serbian, Yugoslav, Chinese, you name it. I adore MBFGW because it’s so reflective of my friends’ experiences. And my small Anglo family have at least as many in jokes, fond memories and instantaneous support impulses.