Serving Pleasure

by Alisha Rai

June 12, 2015 · Alisha Rai

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I finished this book by staying up way too late and scribbled the following note to myself before falling asleep:

+ vhot mix kinboyrole – emoconfl took sexy end

+famil-set bou good int

+voice nar

=old/new/be se-no, heotoo

So, yeah, there’s my review.

Note: “kinboyrole” may also be “kinboyHOLE” but I’m not entirely sure. Sleepy Sarah sans glasses is really, really not legible. Maybe that’s code in a language I haven’t learned yet? I bet it’s C++WTF.

Anyway. Summary! Rana Malik works the front of the house in her family’s restaurant, has a voracious sexual appetite that she’s been trying to curb, and her indulgence is spying on the hot, reclusive artist next door who doesn’t own curtains.

Rana is trying to change her life and become “better,” which really means, “someone her mother will approve of,” and which includes, “dating someone her mother will approve of, too.” Rana likes sex, hooking up, hot men, spicy food, and being a generous-hearted, outgoing person, and she suppresses all of that to make herself eligible for that elusive approval.

Her neighbor, Micah, is an artist, and he’s temperamental, broody and talented with an aversion to blinds, curtains, and wearing a shirt. He is, as Rana puts it, her muffin. She’s on a life diet, abstaining from everything good, but she craves that one fat-laden ultra-sinful indulgence. When they meet, and she realizes he’s been aware the whole time that she’s watching him through the window, they agree on a mutual banging good time, and she assigns him “muffin” status, meaning he can’t be permanent because New Rana doesn’t DO that kind of thing.

Micah is English, and has crossed the pond and hidden himself in his house following an attack that injured him severely and damaged his confidence in himself and in his art. He doesn’t have the same spark and energy in his creations any longer, and he and the art-buying public know it. His parents are worried about him, he’s cut himself off from his friends, and he tortures himself regularly trying to paint and failing to live up to his old self.

Old self, new self, and genuine self are major themes in this story, which I loved, because while there’s plenty of external conflict (disapproving mother! Meddling or judgmental sisters! Over-involved parents! Lack of respect of family boundaries! My neighbor is hot and we bang but it’s not permanent, no, really, these are only pants feelings stop telling me otherwise!) the internal conflict of both Micah and Rana figuring out who they are, who they were, and who they want to be makes for emotionally powerful, compelling reading.

If I’m right, my scribbles translate as follows:

+ vhot mix kinboyrole – emoconfl took sexy end 

This story is VERY hot. Seriously, there’s voyeurism, masturbation, kinky role playing, sensual food-eating, sensual art-making, and also sexy pastry-eating. Rana is the hostess and manager of her family’s Indian restaurant, and they’re opening a second location in addition to their catering business, so her life, both personal and professional, is all about spicy, rich, extremely flavorful foods. Micah’s an artist, so color, texture, and design are vital to him, especially because his specialty before the attack focused on paintings of nudes. After they meet, Micah asks Rana to pose for him, as her presence from the window and then in his studio reinvigorates his desire for many things, one of them art.

Once the emotional conflict took over, the sexxy-times slowed considerably, which made sense in terms of the plot, but also made the ending of the book seem different from the start. I missed the sexual tension when the emotional tension supplanted it in the foreground of the story. Because of that change, the tension levels sometimes seemed uneven, and, like I said, I missed the sexual tension when it waned.

+famil-set bou good int

Both Micah and Rana need to set better boundaries with themselves, and with their families. Their families might have the best of intentions, but both characters improved and grew once they realized they were in charge of their lives, and that their happiness was under their control, and not subject to the approval of anyone else. Rana’s family falls into a habit of dismissing her or undervaluing her insight because her mother does, and she persevered anyway despite the series of small and large hurts that causes.

Micah’s family has good intentions, but he hears the unspoken wish for him to get better, get back to who and where he was before, and back to England every time he speaks with them – but he can’t ignore their calls because that makes everything worse. They battle against expectations and reality repeatedly in ways that make them surprisingly compatible.

+voice nar

Rana’s voice is terrific. Her character is terrific. She’s abstaining from everything she adores but she’s still in control of her sexuality, her body, and her confidence, and she’s unafraid to call anyone on their bullshit, whether it’s horrible customers or her refusal to leave the house without eyeliner or Micah being a pout-stompy dickbag about her life outside of him. The only person she’s afraid to challenge is her mother, because Rana wants her warmth and approval, which only her sisters receive most of the time. As painful as that relationship is, in every other respect, Rana takes no shit, and regularly upends some stereotypical hallmarks of alpha-male erotic romance that I loathe, such as Micah demanding exclusivity instead of asking. She refuses to submit when he tells her what to do and his demands are counter to who she is.

=old/new/be sel-no~~, heotoo

Rana has a tremendous sense of self, but has been convinced by many of those closest to her that she is unworthy of respect and less valuable as a person, so she doubts her instincts and fights to change them. Both Micah and Rana need to determine their own worth to themselves in order to move their relationship from “muffin and banging” to “permanent installation.” And both need to appreciate one another starting from the point they met (or were introduced to one another’s fantasies) and not starting from who they were before, or who they think they ought to be.

I admired and felt a lot of empathy for Rana, who felt she was too much and needed to shrink all of her ebullient self into a smaller, more acceptable package, when what she really wanted to do was live her life bigger and louder and happier with more sex. I also really liked that Micah was in some ways a very typical brooding, reclusive grump with a six pack and miles of talent, but in other ways was much more than any of those things. The ways in which Micah and Rana change one another for the better make the entire story extremely satisfying. Warning: do not read while hungry.