This is an incredibly sweet, warm, fuzzy hug of a book about people embracing who they are and deciding how to authentically live their lives both public and private. There were times when I questioned the plot, or wondered if it would take a turn for the dramatic (it did not). Since I finished it, I realized that there are several questions the story leaves unanswered or unaddressed, ones that are large enough that I continue to ponder them, but I still look back at this story with a sizable amount of affection. There isn’t a lot of tension or angst or drama in this story, but that’s one of the things I really liked about it.

Dovid Rosenstein runs a very successful YouTube channel called “Don’t Look Now” with his twin sister, Rachel. Dovid is blind, and the channel explores his experiences with the world around him. There are video reviews of restaurants which have invited them to evaluate the food and the accessibility of the space. There’s a lot of food porn, and food reviewing, too – Rachel loves food, and often films Dovid cooking for them both for their channel. Dovid is the on-screen person, and Rachel is always behind the camera, though she coordinates the videos where Dovid opens and eats random foods sent in from fans from different parts of the US and the world. Their YouTube channel supports them both, and they have a loving and very affectionate and functional relationship as roommates, siblings, business partners, and creators.

Rachel discovers an Irish YouTuber who does “Let’s Play” videos – videos wherein a person films their own progress playing a video game – under the name “playitagainsam,” and shares the link to Sam playing a game called “Dire Straits” with Dovid. They both love Sam’s style instantly; Dovid uses the word “adorable” so often to describe Sam he gets self-conscious about it.

When Dovid tells his fanbase – which numbers in the millions – about Sam’s channel and promotes it in a video, Sam’s subscriber count increases exponentially, exposing his videos to a wider, eager audience, and placing Sam in the weird position of being a lot more internet-famous in a hurry. Dovid realizes what he’s done (a little too late) and stays in contact with Sam, offering help and support first by direct message, then by text, then by phone and Skype, finally meeting in person after months of conversation. From the start, they’re both crushing on each other, but their conversations remain mostly focused on topics like monetization, scheduling, and managing an increasing fanbase. As their conversation venue becomes more and more personal, so does their connection.

One of the themes of the story that appears in shifting ways is the concept of authenticity. Dovid documents his experience of his world, of new restaurants, of different countries, or of an assortment of wrapped mystery foods in a box, as a blind person and as an insatiably curious, extroverted person. He is himself onscreen, though he keeps parts of his life, like his romantic relationships, separate after a bad experience with a partner who didn’t want to live his life in such a public fashion.

Rachel remains behind the scenes in just about every video, but she is still a vocal presence both in the video sense and in the character sense; Dovid and Rachel’s relationship is lovely in the way they care for one another, give each other shit, and work together, live together, and support each other. They’re also very candid with one another about navigating the world sexually: Dovid is bi, and Rachel is sex-repulsed asexual, and they tease one another and talk to one another about their relationships.

Sam has the furthest to travel in self development during the story; he starts as a shy YouTuber with a small subscriber base, but after connecting with Dovid and Rachel through their channels, and then personally, he learns to see himself, his love of gaming, and his future in a very different way – a way that contrasts mightily with what he’s been telling himself, and what his parents say to him.

The biggest conflict in the story is the abuse Sam suffers from his parents, who yell at him at work (his father works at the same firm where Sam is employed in IT, and Sam really hates his job, partially because of his father) and at home. They’ve convinced him that he’s a disappointment, ill fitting in the world and an embarrassment, and while they don’t appear on the page much at all, their abuse is most vivid in the degree to which Sam has internalized what they’ve said about him. Once Sam experiences Dovid, Rachel, and other people, total strangers, saying how much they like him, his videos, his sense of humor, his good-naturedness, and his kind manner in playing Dire Straits, he begins to question what he’s been told about himself. He’s entered a world where he is the opposite of being a disappointment, a world where he very much fits in, where people are eager to interact with him and his work. Dovid tries so hard to counter the messages Sam has absorbed without yelling at him about his terrible parents, because that might drive him away. Sam has to learn who he is, and that he is valuable the way he is, and that what he does, his video channel and his video work, has value, too, in a way that might allow him to change his life completely.

The dialogue and use of text messages in the story is fascinating. First, I could always tell who was speaking; Dovid and Sam have different language tics, since Sam is Irish and Dovid is American. Further, Dovid is often using text to speech, and the messages reflect that, including vocal tics and filler words in a way that allowed me as a reader to hear his voice more clearly as the story went on.

This book does have a superb amount of behind-the-scenes competence porn. Dovid and Rachel are full-time YouTubers, and the work that goes into running their channel, shooting, planning, and editing, traveling and setting up their equipment is substantial. They live in inside their work, showing slices of Dovid’s life and experiences, and work inside their lives, shooting much of their content in their apartment, but they have time off screen, too, and the ways they balance the different but overlapping elements of their lives were fascinating.

There are moments I wish had been explored in more detail. For example, as their relationship progresses, Dovid introduces Sam to the concept of asexuality after noticing that Sam doesn’t seem as interested in sexual activities. Sam is shocked and delighted to learn that there’s a word for how he feels, that he sees sex as a “take it or leave it” option that doesn’t hold his interest overly much (kissing and cuddling are a whole other thing and he is 3000% on board with that. Some of the most warm and fuzzy scenes are of the two of them snugged in bed, making the most of their limited time together).

But the narrative doesn’t show Sam exploring or questioning on his own what asexuality means, nor what it means for him. As the reader, we go along with Sam through a lot of development of his self confidence and identity. I kind of wished the story had explored more of that part of his learning to know and like himself as he is. Sam learning to believe in himself, to appreciate his talents, and to trust in his instincts is one of my favorite parts, and I wish that piece had been included more.

Another element I didn’t quite understand was in the ending, and I don’t want to spoil it. But I struggled to fully understand how it was going to happen, logistically speaking, and that lack of development or explanation, when contrasted with the depth with which I got to know Sam and Dovid, leaves me feeling confused. I had plenty of details in some places, all of it interesting and fascinating to me, like the total number of Patreon supporters and the amount one of them paid in rent, but I didn’t know the larger, more immediate questions of how the specifics of their happy ending would work. I believe that they’ll be together, and that they want to be together. but I don’t know how exactly that’s going to happen successfully, and, again, I wanted more.

If you’re looking for a story where there isn’t a lot of angst or conflict, this might be ideal for you. Wherever there might have been tension, there was none. The largest portion of the uncertainty and the emotional journey between Dovid and Sam is located within the external circumstances that affect them, such as time and distance, and the slow process of getting to really know someone when time and distance are in the way. Sam’s experience with his parents is revealed after he’s dealt with it, or set up new boundaries, proving that he’s establishing himself as an independent entity who isn’t dependent upon Dovid. The evolution of Sam and Dovid’s friendship and romantic relationship, and how they discover new ways to spend time together, make for a lovely, welcoming, and tender romance.