Sometimes you need to laugh so hard you pee a little.
I’ve been evangelizing about the Johannes Cabal series by Jonathan L. Howard to all my friends for awhile now. Howard does for Gothic romance and steampunk what Pratchett did for epic fantasy. I’m just finishing up the fourth book, The Brothers Cabal, now and I’ve been pee-laughing while I read (I might need to do some kegels).
Johannes Cabal is a necromancer of some little infamy. He’s obsessed with searching for the key to restoring life–not like raising zombies, any amateur can do that (and zombies are fairly useless anyway)–but actual resurrection. SPOILER: His end goal is to bring his One True Love back to life.
Cabal is a fascinating hero. He’s dangerously intelligent and focused, lacking a sense of humor, and totally devoid of a moral compass. That sounds eminently unlikable, but he’s actually quite lovable. In fact, I’m a little in love with him. Cabal is completely unconcerned with what’s polite or allowed or legal, and I delight in watching him break through barriers to get his way. Of course, Cabal also inadvertently saves the world on occasion, an unfortunate side-effect of his pursuits.
In the first book, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, Cabal has sold his soul to the devil and realizes he needs it back now. Like you do. So he blithely marches up to hell, bypasses the required paperwork (hell involves a lot of paperwork), and explains to Satan that he needs his soul back now, thank you. Part of the joy of the series is that Cabal is so over all the supernatural baddies out there. Satan? Meh. Satan naturally is a little put off by Cabal’s lack of terror. They strike a bargain, and Cabal and his brother Horst, who happens to be a vampire and is not very happy about it, have to run a diabolical carnival that steals souls, collecting a certain number before their time runs out.
The book involves a maniacal carnival train, sideshows that are literally birthed from The Devil’s imagination, and two demented zombies, Dennis and Denzil, who run the train when they aren’t clumsily hitting each other over an imagined slight.
Cabal takes the carnival through a steampunk Victorian England and hilarity ensues.
Cabal, being soulless himself, isn’t particularly troubled by harvesting the souls of others (honestly he wouldn’t be even if he had his soul). Horst, the reluctant vampire and Cabal’s Jimminy Cricket, is more troubled by their actions.
It is delightfully weird and wicked and so much fun. In the second book Cabal has to solve a murder on an aeroship and in the third, he goes on a mission into the Dreamlands.
I’m reading book four now and it’s the best in the series so far. Part of what makes Cabal such a compelling hero is that, against his wishes, his humanity periodically pokes out and is poignantly felt. Also he has piranha-like fairies guarding his house:
Then he turned to the garden and addressed it. “I was unimpressed by my welcome when I last stood beyond this wall. The terms of our compact are clear.”
Within the garden, small things watched him with beady little eyes full of malice, guile, and severely limited intelligence:
“We didn’t actually eat you,” said a tiny wheedling voice.
“I didn’t actually give you the chance, but your duplicity was evident all the same. Allow me refresh your obviously faulty memories. I allow you to stay within my front garden on the understanding that you defend the house against all intruders, except the ones I have described, on numerous occasions. Torch-bearing mobs?”
“Eat them!” chorused the criminally insane fey of Cabal’s garden, a tribe whose stature was inversely proportional to their malevolence.
“Correct. The postman?”
“Eat him!” they cried joyfully.
“No!” snapped Cabal. “You let the postman by!”
“Oops,” said the garden. There was some small shuffling while they hid a peaked cap behind a rosebush.
Cabal grunted angrily. “Salesmen?”
“Eat them!” came the reply, only half the chorus being entirely sure.
“Yes.”
[…]
Cabal turned his attention to the garden once more. “Johannes Cabal?”
“Eaaaa…” The word drained away like a sinkful of embarrassing water. There was a heated discussion in the undergrowth. “Don’t eat Johannes Cabal,” they finally said, with none of the enthusiasm of their previous answers.
“And why don’t you eat Johannes Cabal?”
More discussion. They seemed honestly nonplussed by this for a minute or so. Then one of the brighter ones had a revelation, communicated it to the others, and they took up the cry. “The Compact! The Compact!”
“Correct. But not just the Compact between us. Can you think of another reason?”
Evidently, they could not, although they took awhile to admit it. Cabal leaned over the wall and snarled, “Remember the Skirtingboard People. You get one warning, and this is it.”
As Cabal straightened up, [SPOILER/REDACTED] asked, “The Skirtingboard People? What are they?”
“Extinct,” said Cabal meaningfully[…]
I don’t know about you, but criminally malicious fairies always make my day a little better.
If you enjoy steampunk, dry humor or peeing your pants a little, then check Johannes out. The incontinence is worth it.
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This book seems super interesting, but mostly I wanted to squee about being able to go online to my library as soon as I read this review and find a copy of this book instantly available for free download for my Kindle or browser. This is the second time this has happened for me after reading a review here. Libraries = love.
Okay, this sounds awesome; I have a Barnes and Noble giftcard with the first book’s name on it. Would this be in the romance section or the sci-fi/fantasy section of a bookstore?
@Doug it’s in the sci fi/fantasy section. It’s not very romance-y
@Leah YES! Libraries for the win!!
OMG! I soooo want to read this book!! Just added it to my (HUGE) wish list 😉 But something tells me it might be jumping to the top of the list very soon.
I heard you talk about this book on the podcast and I think you said you were reading the series with your husband, right? I love that. My hubby and I used to do that before we had kids and it was so much fun. I already told him that once he’s done studying for his CPA tests in 6 months, we’re absolutely reading this series together. Thanks for the recommendation! 🙂
Woohoo! I’m working at the library and just grabbed the whole series to take home. Love my job 🙂
Thanks for this review! I had not heard of it yet and it sounds like something I’d enjoy. I’m more into UF but this sounds interesting enough to try and I’m leaning towards listening to it (wish all 4 books didn’t have different narrators…hate when that happens). Demonic faries for the win!!
Funny, smart, snarky, Johannes Cabal is one of the great fantasy characters. The short stories (especially Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day) are recommended once you’ve met our favorite necromancer. Remember the floorboard people? Exactly.
I just one-clicked it. Now goddammit, knock it off. I’m on a budget.
I first fell in love with the glorious covers. And do not overlook the novellas–the previously mentioned Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day, The Death of Me, A Long Spoon and Exeunt Demon King. Ebooks! Cheap!
Elyse, I’ve suspected that you are my reading doppelgänger for a while now, and this confirms it. I am such a book pusher with this series! The second one is my favorite (locked room murder mystery on a dirigible? what’s not to love?), and I just adore the dry voice and Johannes. Plus, the covers are gorgeous.
All-time favorite quips: “She herself was wearing a red-and-blue tartan gown over a white winceyette nightdress. In purely aesthetic terms, her nighttime apparel made Cabal wonder how the English ever managed to find sufficient motivation to breed.”
And: “‘Whenever she sees a man who interests her in a certain way, she isn’t happy until that man has joined her for an evening of sport.’ It was obvious from Cabal’s face that he was working down a list of possible sports. The slight expression of consternation indicated he had arrived at cricket.”
Thanks for reminding me of how much I love these… time for a reread
@Mara You, Elyse & I are reading triplets separated at birth. There’s just something so gleeful about the Johannes Cabal series, it leaves me tickled. I liked the first one the best, but then a demented, soul-stealing circus is just so fun. I definitely need to read the new one.
I have the audiobook version of this and it is fantastic! I need to read the rest of the series but I keep telling myself I NEED to relisten to the first book first.
There’s a bunch of short stories about Cabal as well, not all easily available because they were published in magazines, but a few on Amazon. The Long Spoon involves darling Johannes working with a Succubus.
“Correct. The postman?”
“Eat him!” they cried joyfully.
“No!” snapped Cabal. “You let the postman by!”
“Oops,” said the garden. There was some small shuffling while they hid a peaked cap behind a rosebush.
This made me snork so loudly I attracted my boss’ attention. Fortunately for me she thought it was funny too.
/just bought the book
My wife and I read these books and they have almost caused auto accidents. She will read in the car as I am driving and at times we will be laughing so hard things could go very bad. Just a couple examples for those of you who know the books.
The part in the first book where they describe The Necronomicon The Musical.
In the second book “Cabal thought of a origami swan and swallowed ”
There are so many more reasons to love these books.
Oh my Maude, this sounds absolutely DELIGHTFUL. This is now going to the top of my to-read list.
Ah I adore this series, the first book in the series was my favourite though. Looking forward to reading the new one ^.^
I spent a memorable summer vacation reading book two to my sardonic, morally flexible, cat loathing partner. Said partner knows a kindred spirit, even if this one is fictional. He now patiently looks up all the occult and pop culture references, resulting in 1 AM texts saying: “if I were an eldritch horror I know who I’d be!”
Love this series.
Hmm. I tried to read the first one in my first Language – German – and ist was a DNF.
I’m going to try it again in english – translations tend to be much duller than the original.
YOU UNDERSTAND. This series is the best: acid and smart and hilarious and very touching. Actually, I’d say books two and three are the best, but to each their own. Anyway, I’m horribly obsessed and can’t stop writing fanfic.
The book has been on my bookshelf for a while, but now catching up. To be quite honest, it is one of the funniest books ever; I sit hysterically on the subway not caring what people think of me. Every sentence is funnier than that last. The writing is just delicious. Jonathon, please keep writing!