Housebroke

by Jaci Burton

December 12, 2023 · Berkley

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Housebroke is a perfectly charming romance that is lighter than air and that has very little active conflict. There is no reason for this couple not to begin registering for wedding gifts by, oh, say, Chapter Three. This is a lovely couple whose problems consist of one of them having too much money. In other words, a non-problem. For goodness sake, Hazel, open the dog shelter of your dreams and get on with the relationship that you are clearly going to have. For me, the book was a lovely escapist read.

Here’s the publisher’s description:

After her ex took all their money and bailed, Hazel Bristow is left broke and homeless. A kind friend whose home is on the market lets Hazel and her foster dogs stay there until it sells. It’s the perfect setup, until her friend forgets to tell Hazel she’s sold the house.

Linc Kennedy is shocked to find Hazel and her pups squatting in the house he just bought, but after some negotiating—she offers to cook amazing meals for him in return for a paycheck—he agrees to let her remain while he’s renovating the place. Linc tells Hazel he’s an investor who renovates homes for fun—he just leaves out the part about being wealthy.

Hazel’s intrigued by Linc. He’s funny, sweet, ridiculously hot, and loves dogs almost as much as she does. But her track record with men? Not great. She worries her trust meter isn’t in working order.

Linc’s never met anyone like the quirky beauty who puts everyone’s needs—human and canine—before her own. He didn’t tell her about his wealth because he’s been burned by women who only wanted him for his money. But with Hazel, he’s never felt more like himself. Now he has to figure out how to tell her the truth without losing her. Because Linc realizes what he feels for her isn’t puppy love—it’s true love.

This is a romance built on forced, if somewhat unlikely, proximity.

As I mentioned, the story is a lovely escapist romance, and that will be especially true if:

• You love dogs, but don’t want to clean up dog poop or dog hair. These are the most well-behaved, clean, easy-going dogs ever. Although one does throw up at one point. Three times! On the bed! And the floor, which Linc cleans up! Hero material right there. But other than that, these are very clean doggies.
• You like the idea of cooking but not the actual work. There are no dishes in this story. Maybe the dogs lick them clean. We hear a lot about the results of Hazel’s cooking, but not the process.
• You love house renovation stories without the inconvenience of enduring an actual house renovation. Linc cleans up his work beautifully at the end of every day. Hazel gets to help pick out paint colors. It’s all very cozy and delightful. No bad smells, no mess, no splinters.
• You like the idea of running a restaurant as long as it isn’t too taxing. I’m currently babysitting a four-year-old who dreams of being “a doctor who fixes people and also animals, and a ballerina, and also an astronaut.” That is who Hazel, who wants to run her own restaurant and also a dog shelter, reminds me of. I’d say that she should watch The Bear, except that in this cozy but otherwise contemporary world, she could TOTALLY own, manage, and cook in her own restaurant and also run a dog shelter. If she wanted to, she could probably also be a ballerina and an astronaut.
• You bask in the idea of being a strong, independent woman whose partner just happens to buy you food and clothes. I’m not saying that Hazel is a bit of a hypocrite – no, actually, that is totally what I’m saying. Hazel knows Linc is rich, because he takes her to fancy places and buys her pretty things. She’s only angry when she finds out HOW rich he is, at which point she freaks out about her independence. And frankly, it made perfect sense that Linc did not immediately tell her that he was rich. So I got a little annoyed with Hazel.
• You long for a multimillionaire who is a fine and upstanding person with no moral flaws. I can’t remember how Linc ended up a multimillionaire, but don’t worry! He’s a great and ethical guy! See, there IS ethical consumption under capitalism! Hooray!

I realize that a certain cynicism is leaking out of my keyboard here, but the truth is, I really enjoyed this book. I WOULD like to live in a scenario in which I have lots of pets but hardly any work to do, and I WOULD like to live in a very nice house, with a guesthouse and a pool, that I get to decorate once the remodeling is done. I WOULD like for that remodeling to be interesting but also so unobtrusive that it might as well be conducted by Brownies as I sleep.* I would LOVE to be pampered by an ethical millionaire. While my cold and callous brain finds these bullet point items to be ridiculous, my squishy heart just absolutely adores them.

I admired Hazel for working so hard for what she has after a disastrous first marriage that destroyed her economically. I also admire anyone who fosters animals, and this book does a great job of showing how it can be incredibly rewarding but also emotionally taxing. And I admired Hazel’s determination to be independent, to avoid letting her next relationship define her in the way that her first marriage did. I got frustrated with Hazel sometimes, but I understood her motivations. Linc was…fine. He’s a hot, rich guy who loves working with his hands, playing with dogs, and also playing with small children. He needed a flaw or two to round him out, but even his interactions with his family were delightful.

Housebroke is a fantasy just as much as if it had unicorns prancing through its pages. However, it’s a well written, thoughtful fantasy which takes its time in building a relationship between Hazel and Linc. It includes a fun group of supporting characters, human and otherwise. It has humor and sexy times.

In short (yes, I know, too late) this is a nice comfort read. It takes its characters and their romance seriously, but it won’t overwhelm you with painful feelings. The dogs are all happy, which is the most important thing, and Linc and Hazel are genuinely enjoyable people to spend time with. I recommend this book if you want a comfort read with dogs and food. Sometimes that’s enough.

*If you have Brownies, don’t thank them, and don’t give them clothes! Put out a bowl of milk! The more you know!