Greenteeth

by Molly O'Neill

I’m very fond of cryptids that fall under the category of “You! Kids! Stay away from the water!” I’m talking about your La Llorenas and your kelpies, your kappas and your shellycoats. English folklore alone provides a treasure trove of water spirits that will teach your child a very important and possibly fatal lesson that he or she shall not soon forget! Think of the grindylows, or Nelly Longarms and Peggy Prowler, all of whom are at least 40% teeth! Thus it was with delight that I read Greenteeth, in which Jenny Greenteeth (perhaps better described as ‘a’ Jenny Greenteeth) helps a young woman accused of witchcraft.

Here’s the publisher’s description:

Beneath the still surface of a lake lurks a monster with needle-sharp teeth. Hungry and ready to pounce. Jenny Greenteeth has never spoken to a human before, but when a witch is thrown into her lake, something makes Jenny decide she’s worth saving.

Temperance doesn’t know why her village has suddenly turned against her, only that it has something to do with the malevolent new pastor. Though they have nothing in common, these two must band together on a magical quest to defeat the evil that threatens Jenny’s lake and Temperance’s family – as well as the very soul of Britain.

I very much enjoyed this book’s characterization of Jenny, especially the balance between her empathy and her bloodthirsty qualities. I also enjoyed Brackus, a hobgoblin who provides all the common sense that Jenny and Temperance lack (Jenny due to lack of experience and Temperance due to her desperation to be reunited with her family).

I did not enjoy Temperance, whose characterization is uneven and who spends an exorbitant amount of book time either moping (understandable, but not enjoyable to read about) or in a massively unreasonable snit (not cool, Temperance). This started as a great idea about two women owning their power and fighting the patriarchy, but Temperance was such a drag that I rather wished that Jenny would eat her (she doesn’t).

The plot is slow. After a strong start and the establishment of a problem (evil guy) to be solved (killed) the group (Jenny, Brackus, and a magical dog named Cavall) get sent on a series of quests for items that we don’t care about. Each side quest takes a long time and the only reason for the reader to care about the outcome is that we want our team to get the promised reward at the quests’ conclusion. That’s not enough to sustain interest (at least, not mine). If these quests had been shorter it might have worked, but I kept losing interest and wandering away from the book as the quests dragged on and on. The scenery was well-described but the slog was too much for me.

I mentioned a dog so here is your spoiler:

DOES THE DOG DIE?

The descriptive aspects of this book are great. I just wish that the character development was stronger on the part of everyone not named Jenny, and that the plot had more focus. I would read more by this author because I thought the concept was so strong and because I liked the way Jenny Greenteeth was written so much. The fact that I don’t have more to say about this book tells you everything – while many individual things about the book were good, none of them clicked together well enough to create a gripping or memorable story, and yet there was too much good stuff in it to ignore. Read it or not, but regardless, stay away from the water, you kids!

– Carrie S

Historical: European, Science Fiction/Fantasy