Lightning Review

Flesh and Stone by Emily Hemenway

C-

Flesh and Stone

by Emily Hemenway

Flesh and Stone is a gargoyle romance, by which I mean that it is a romance between a human man who is turned into a gargoyle by a wicked witch, and a human woman. Also there is time travel, sort of. I longed for something truly weird, and it was kind of weird…but it failed to either be the kind of super incredible that makes you go “Oh wow, this is good!” or the kind of bonkers that makes you go, “Oh wow, this is fun!” The style is awkward, the characters are barely there, and the plot is a thin thread of devices connecting sex scenes.

However, this novella does have a few things going for it. On the ‘This Passes the Time Pleasantly’ side, we have the following:

  1. The gargoyle, Thomas, is always a gargoyle. He’s bipedal, which is kind of a cheat, and he has a penis which is just unusual enough to enhance the sex, but he also has wings and horns, and a “gargoyle” face. He has a wide, long tongue. He stops being made of stone early on, but stays gray in color. Why? Because magic, duh. I respect a monster romance that commits and doesn’t turn the hero into a human prince named Chad at the last minute, so points to this book for keeping it weird.
  2. Most of the sex is pretty sexy. That oversized tongue gets plenty of exercise. Much attention is paid to the clitoris, so good job, there.

That’s it. That’s the good stuff. On the ‘Not so Great’ side:

  1. Thomas is described as having a face “like a gargoyle.” That’s some helpful description, right there. Gargoyles have different faces. Are we supposed to pick one off of Google images and apply it to our understanding? Is this a “Choose Your Own Gargoyle” story?
  2. Most of Hannah’s choices defy logic. For instance, when she meets Thomas, he snatches her up and flies off with her. She’s screaming with terror the entire time. Two minutes after he sets her down they are chatting like old friends and she invites him to stay at her apartment. She never says, “What the hell did you just kidnap me for?” He never says, “Sorry I flew off like that, it was the shock of awakening triggering my beastly instincts.” No, he just sets her down, says he won’t hurt her, and she invites him over. This seems both unlikely and unwise.
  3. By “most of the sex” being pretty sexy as I mentioned previously, I mean the sex that does not involve similies. The sex similies are truly astounding. Here’s the heroine, Hannah, describing the first time Thomas, gives her oral sex:

“His hot, damp breath came in great huffs, as he inhaled her from point-blank range. He reminded her of a hog searching for truffles beneath the soil.”

OKAYYYYYY THEN.

Here’s another WTF moment:

“She wiggled her ass in front of him and that was it. He was on her like a pack of wolves on a sickly antelope.”

I’m sorry. I just do not have a gif or an image or an emoji that can sufficiently capture my mingled horror, bafflement, and confusion. These were pretty much the wackiest moments in a book that was otherwise…OK. Not great, not terrible.

It passed the time, and sometimes that is all I’m looking for. That, and the delight of some truly bizarre similes.

Carrie S

When Thomas travels to America to capture an evil witch, he quickly discovers that his training as a Supernatural Investigator has not prepared him for how powerful she is. Transformed into a gargoyle and cursed to spend eternity in a hellish alternate reality, he has little hope of ever returning to the real world or finding happiness again.

Hannah’s first week after moving to New York City is filled with sightseeing and tourist traps. After dragging her best friend all around the city, she finds herself drawn to an ornate local cathedral. When she touches an alluring stone gargoyle, however, her life is thrown into chaos when he suddenly comes alive.

Now he’s crashing at her new apartment and things are heating up. Not only does this monster have a charming British accent, but he’s also kind, considerate, and has one hell of a tongue. Can she help him adjust to the 21st century? Or, will his past bring even more trouble into her life?

Paranormal, Novella, Romance
This book is available from:
  • Available at Amazon

As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.
We also may use affiliate links in our posts, as well. Thanks!

Add Your Comment →

  1. Kit says:

    Hmm, at £2.20 for an 81 page novella it’s a bit steep. Might have given it a go if it had been on KU.

  2. Mikey says:

    Kit: IMO, that’s an okay price for a novella. I know that it’s more per page than is common for full novels, but the problem is that if we were to follow the page count rate that the average novel costs, then even 99 pence would be too much for an 80-page novella and the writer would pretty much have to give it away for free. And I feel that any work of literature that’s worth paying for is also worth the price of a popsicle at the newsagent’s. It lasts longer and is easier on the teeth. 🙂

    And just to be clear, the post of this post isn’t to judge anybody for saving their money. I know we all have budgets. It’s to express the sentiment that good romance fiction is worth the money. 🙂

  3. DonnaMarie says:

    May Goliath fantasy is crushed.

    I have space on my Kindle for just okay books. I like to read myself to sleep, but that can easily turn into Bad Decisions Book Club© with a book by someone I know and love. A book with a C rating though? Perfect.

  4. LML says:

    @DonnaMarie, as a frequent participant in the Bad Decisions Book Club, your rating and reading rationale gives me a big smile!

  5. Darlynne says:

    Well this wasn’t what I’d hoped. I love gargoyles, but yeah, did the author look at any pictures? Nightmares, that’s what you’d have, never mind the really long tongue. Devon Monk’s Allie Beckstrom series had the fierce and adorable gargoyle Stone; he likes to take things out of kitchen cabinets and rearrange them architecturally. Also, C.E. Murphy’s HEART OF STONE featured a gargoyle who changed into human shape. Must be time for a re-read.

  6. EJ says:

    Ever since I read this review earlier the phrase “truffle snuffle” has been stuck in my head making me giggle.

Add Your Comment

Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

*


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

↑ Back to Top