I really, really-really, really wanted to like this book, but the time spent in the hero’s point of view and his way of viewing the heroine irritated me at first, then grew to full-on dislike. Plus the heroine made some terrible comments and even worse decisions regarding the hero, and I came to dislike her, too. I do think that the problem is partly me, however, and that contemporary romance and I need a lengthy timeout, especially when the contemporary is alternating first person present point of view. So take this DNF with a large grain of salt.
I’m pretty comfortable blaming myself here because ordinarily, first person point of view, even alternating point of view, doesn’t bother me much, and I’m usually okay with heroes who clearly need to extract their heads from their asses because I trust that they’ll get there eventually. As RedHeadedGirl pointed out in a recent movie review for The Big Sick, “It’s a romcom. He spends some time with his head up his ass. It’s one of the conventions.” My problem here is that the hero starts off being possessive of the heroine and stunningly un-self-aware, and his improvement, if there is any, didn’t appear within the first 25%, which is where I had to stop. I also disliked some of the things the heroine said. Every time I picked up my device to read, I’d be excited about the concept, and then find myself increasingly annoyed by the characters.
I thought premise was pretty spiffy: Tori Alvarez, a personal trainer, has just gone through a embarrassing, public breakup with a somewhat prominent politician and decides to take a solo vacation to Aruba. She has no plans to hook up with anyone or have any kind of fling. She ends up seated next to a famous actor, Carter Stone, but he’s very underweight and sporting a beard from his last role, so she doesn’t recognize him – nor does anyone else on the flight. He introduces himself using his real name, and they sort of hit it off.
According to the cover copy, Tori is going to end up training Carter to get his physique back, but he won’t tell her who he really is until a “pesky paparazzo” spills the beans – and understandably, Tori’s mad. But I didn’t get that far.
I stopped reading because the narration made me dislike the characters. For example, this is Tori on her first morning at the hotel:
I take in a deep breath of the salty air. Then my stomach growls, jockeying for my attention, as if to say, Beyotch, forget the view and feed me.
Breakfast is my favorite meal, but I can’t whip up an omelet in my room. And I’d never order room service this early in the day because I’m convinced those calls annoy the staff and they put “special sauce” in your scrambled eggs to spite you.
Wait, what? Hold on, here. It’s only 6am. Having worked in a hotel on several morning shifts, I can say with a comfortable amount of anecdata, 6 is not really all that early. But more importantly, Tori’s offhand comment about the hotel staff contaminating her food made me think very poorly of her.
The reason she’s up at 6 on her vacation is somewhat convoluted, but I let that rather uncomfortable moment go. Her choices later on didn’t bolster my confidence in her opinion or judgment, alas. Carter ends up at the same resort she’s at, and she’s alone at the bar. She challenges him to a drinking competition of straight vodka shots, and though she’s got the bartender watching out for her, I was very confused by that decision. On the flight, she didn’t want to tell him where she was staying out of self-preservation (he asked, trying to make polite but clueless conversation), but she will potentially get seriously drunk with him at the pool? A guy she doesn’t know at all?
Then the stakes: if he is the first to “beg for mercy or fall flat on his face,” he agrees to be her running partner at 6am. If she loses, she’ll help set him up with someone at the resort.
Again, still confused: why? Why have a stranger you don’t know, one that you’re challenging to get falling-down drunk with you, run in a strange place with you alone? She says it’s not for protection, but for company and keeping pace, but then, I’m still confused: she’s already figured out that he’s underweight and that she has the advantage, drinking wise. And she even calls him on it later when he is, surprise surprise, unable to handle several shots of vodka in a row. So why in the world would he be an ideal running partner?
Especially when, after all those shots, he passes out and is snoring on the beach, and she leaves him there, asking the bartender to make sure he gets back to his room. Seriously, are you kidding me?! Forget waking up at 6 to go run; leaving him passed out alone on a beach is just as uncool as assuming that hotel staff spit in your food.
Then there’s Carter. His opening paragraph gave me a few eyebrow raises, wherein he boards the plane to Aruba, and announces he’s certain he’s going to marry her:
I don’t know her name, nationality, age, or occupation, but I know this: Someday I’m going to marry the woman sitting in 12D.
Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration-for all I know she could be someone else’s wife, or a serial killer-but hey, I’m an optimistic guy. Plus, she’s in my row, so I know fate is in play.
Don’t roll your eyes. It’s not polite.
Dude, I double dare you to stop me from rolling my eyes at you. You’re half the reason I don’t want to keep reading.
I know there are many readers who love an alpha hero, one who is decisive and confident and goes after what he wants, but this incarnation did not work for me. First, the idea that “she’s not interested” didn’t even enter his mind. She might be married (i.e. someone else’s property) or she might be a serial killer (i.e. a threat to his life). But “Not interested in me” is clearly not a consideration because…something about fate.
Even after assuming this was semi-facetious narration, which I did because I kept going while thinking maybe he’d get a clue that he’s ridiculous, I never warmed to Carter.
Look, before you decide I’m a shallow jerk for choosing my life partner based on appearance alone, consider this: Sexual compatibility is a strong indicator of long-term wedded bliss. I’m not saying that I’d marry this woman if she were as engaging as my dad’s proctologist – yes I’ve heard stories – and I’d never be able to marry someone who didn’t at least feel comfortable around children or puppies – but this instant lust is promising. The truth is, I’m excited, and I haven’t been eager about anything other than acting in years.
Carter, repeat after me: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID BONER.
Carter makes a fool of himself a little, and decides the best course of action is to take a nap since Tori has communicated that she’s not available (she told him her “boyfriend” is picking her up , after all).
Then they end up at the same hotel, drinking shots on the first night – after which Tori leaves his snoring, drunken self on the beach until she sees him in the morning at 6 for their run.
A run which she decides should be eight miles because…I have no idea. I mean, ok, if that’s how she wants to bring him down to earth and help him realize he is not, in fact, everything he thinks he is, I get it. But she’ll be without a running partner because he is not in shape, and she knows it – not to mention that she told him so to his face.
As I kept reading up to the point where I stopped, I found Tori’s decisions and arguments to herself silly and often contradictory. I found Carter’s narration increasingly sexist to the point of repulsive. Even when he thinks he isn’t sexist, he is:
I’m hardly averse to admiring a woman’s body in my head, but talking with him about Tori like she’s a piece of ass for the taking is a hard limit for me. He probably thinks he’s earning points per the Bro Code, but I don’t subscribe to such bullshit, especially not with two sisters of my own.
*headdesk* Oh, dude. Let’s review. Women aren’t valuable or worthy of being treated with respect solely because you are interested in them or related to them.
Like I said, I really wanted to like this book, and as I’ve mentioned in other reviews, I am always curious about romances wherein the conflict rests partially on public vs. private selves, or on image vs. reality. The influence of celebrity and persona can make for fascinating conflict. But I wasn’t that interested in either character, and the longer I read, the more I disliked Carter and grew angrier with Tori.
I think that this might be an ideal book for a reader who is in the mood for something playful, especially since it starts out as a very summery, vacation-romp kind of contemporary romance. But I couldn’t get on board with the tone and tenor of the story. I wish it had been a book for me.
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Thanks!
The book sounds bad, but “Carter no one cares about your boner” may be my new catchphrase. So thanks for that.
Yeesh. Not only alternating first person, but alternating present tense first person. I would have gouged out my own eyes on the first page. There have only been three books written that way that I’ve managed to read, and two of them have now won the Hugo. Stunning books. This one sounds monstrous.
@Lora: It’s terrific, isn’t it? Amanda has it on a tshirt and it’s so, so great.
@Theresa: I know first person/present really irritates some readers. It doesn’t usually bother me, but I know enough readers who abhor that style that I try to warn folks if I encounter it in a book I’m reviewing. If I’m really into the story I may not notice until much later.
I’m currently reading an epistolary novel which is obviously first person – and I love epistolary stories. Now I’m pondering the differences between first person and epistolary styles, and why one doesn’t cause as much of a negative reaction. As far as this particular book, I think in this case, the fact that I found both of the protagonists to be insufferable meant I didn’t want to be in their heads, and I had nowhere else to go.
This makes me sad because I love this cover and the promise of IR goodness. But the hero made me feel stabby just from reading the review and being an extremely hero-centric reader this is a hard pass for me, lovely cover or not.
I liked (but didn’t love) the book. I wanted a little more development on the characters but I found it light and fun after a pretty heavy week. It’s funny because I didn’t even pick up on any of the issues in the review. I think we can all relate to how different books affect us depending on what we’ve been reading previously and also what we might be looking for in a book.
I’m at the point where first person present tense narration is a deal breaker for me. If it pops up in a book by one of my tried and true authors, I can roll with it. But if it’s a new author, I’m just not interested. It usually ends up feeling either too hokey (like in the snippets from this book- yikes. Kudos for getting even 25% through) or too angsty (as in I feel like I’m in a 14 year old’s unrequited love poems).
Alternating POV, especially in 1st person, is actually my favorite kind of contemporary right now. But it really doesn’t work for really over the top alpha heroes. If your hero is a piece of shit, ain’t nobody wanting to be spending time in his brain. The worst book I read this year had a hero who spent all of his POV chapters shitting (metaphorically, not literally) on sex workers when he himself was currently employing one to sleep with hiim. ALL THE RAGE.
I think SB Sarah had so many other good points to make that she didn’t get to my biggest complaint: a professional personal trainer would never challenge a client (or anyone else) to an activity their body is unprepared to accomplish.
I’ve been taking a break from contemporary romance myself and this book would have hit my long list of recent DNF books, probably after the remark about “special sauce” or maybe after her poor bar decisions. The last two abandoned books were the result of “huge” conflicts that could be solved with a frank conversation along with the hero and heroine having sexytimes on hard surfaces and/or in filthy places. The latter is a personal bias as I grow older and deal with arthritis and my immune system. Seriously, two books in a row. Poorly written dialogue and/or non-existent research decided the fate of others. Sigh. I think historical novels appeal to me because I wasn’t alive then, so my knowledge is learned and is not from experience in the time period. No matter what the baby engineers I mentor think.
Oh, Sarah, you poor baby. The sad truth is, it’s just too long between Julie James novels.
And having just subjected the Marriott Deerfield to 50 shipmates lined up for breakfast at 6am, I’d have to say her measly scrambled egg order wouldn’t have been a spit worthy blip on a catering staff’s radar.
Do personal trainers really make enough money to travel first class … or does the famous actor’s incognito extend to flying tourist class?
I’m sorry the book didn’t work for you, Sarah! It’s on my radar because of Women of Color in Romance, but these are issues that would trip me up as well and may shift if I try the book or not.
Honestly, I know I’m in the minority, but I prefer a limited view of the hero in romance, especially in first person romance. Coming from YA, I’ve read a LOT of first person, but I think the viewpoint has a ton of characterization pitfalls that it takes some awareness to avoid. Too often, for instance, humor like the kind clearly being attempted in this book ends up showing the negative side of these characters, because jokes like that are so stream-of-consciousness and internal. Internal thoughts often reveal a lot of our biases and worse selves, and while I don’t think romance should avoid that, it also means that it needs to be explicitly addressed in the text.
I think I prefer third-person in romance often because there are some narrative tricks to avoiding that. It can still be offensive and fuck-y, but you as the reader can also psychologically remove it a bit from the hero or heroine’s internal self a bit.
One author I love who does the flawed first-person view well is Sophie Kinsella. Her books are incredibly funny, and I think she strikes a balance of avoiding super cringe-y comments (although her biases aren’t hard to find, either) and maintaining humor. From what I love of her work, I’d say that it needs the character to be self-aware of their problems, and that the humor needs to stem from the character interacting with their problems.
When I first joined The Bitchery I was really taken aback at all the hate first person present tense gets in the comments here. I’ve never had a problem with it and even thought it was kind of cool! But this one would be a big DNF for me too. Carter sounds annoying as hell – and I totally need that T-shirt!
For good public vs. private sports romantic comedy in alternating first person (what a mouthful) I would recommend the Rugby series by LH Cosway and Penny Reid. I especially liked the second book, The Player and the Pixie.
@SB Sarah
Can you tell us what epistolary novel you’re currently reading? 🙂
Oh, Sure! It’s “Last Christmas in Paris,” and so far I am liking it very much, though the emotion in the letters is wrenching. I think it comes out next week.
@Megan M
all the hate first person present tense gets
What bugs me more is first person past tense, especially in YA. Not in the narrative, but in descriptions: Don’t say “I was X”, “I had Y”, unless the story is told by someone reminiscing decades later. (You had curly red hair? What happened to it? Your best friend was named Susan? Where’d she go?)
I’m not a huge fan of first person, present tense, alternating point of view, because it usually seems stilted and contrived to my mental ear. Sometimes the style seems to genuinely reflect a narrator’s voice, and that’s the only way it works for me. However, it’s just too easy for both narrators to read like the same person except that one of them (usually the hero) swears more. Of course there are authors and books that I’ve loved written in first person present tense–notably the Hunger Games. Keeping that in mind, I don’t let it put me off starting a book, but it does lead to a number of guilt free DNFs.
I figure–no matter what your reading prejudice’s may be–no one is forced to finish a book, and sometimes it’s just a matter of bad timing. I was twelve when I first attempted and later gave up on Huck Finn, completely baffled by the dialect and unfamiliar background. It took me a number of years and greater maturity to appreciate Twain’s masterpiece. Some day I may even grow into Moby Dick or Ulysses. In the meantime, I don’t waste energy on book hate.
@meganM one of my big issues with first person narrative, especially in romance, is it’s often not done well. A lot of writers use it to give the illusion of intimate, active writing, when it’s a lot of tell, but because we’re in the person’s brain the whole time, it’s much easier to hide info dumps and loads of tell.
If write first person narrative well (it’s hard) you should be able to switch it from deep third person narrative to first and vice versa.
Don’t get me started on alternate third and first person POV in the same book. Now there’s a peeve of mine.
The excerpts alone, writing wise, would have me putting down this book after a few paragraphs. Pity, because it sounded like it had potential.